Page 31

T hea’s mind swirled with thoughts as if a wind had caught up a full manuscript and tossed it’s pages about the room. Chaos and thoughts over thoughts made her grasp the sides of her head and moan.

She tossed again trying to get comfortable in this smaller bed in this too-elaborately floral room she’d never spent much time in before.

She wanted to lie next to her husband, but he was a liar. She’d known that for some time, but what she didn’t know was if he were lying about everything or just the things he’d already confessed.

It had not been so long ago she’d stared into her brother’s eyes as he’d promised her everything was well even as the servants were let go and the silver had suddenly disappeared.

She knew how easy it was for some people to tell a lie while looking another person dead in the eye. And not show the slightest bit of remorse for it.

But punishing Shay for her brother’s crimes was unfair.

And had Shay implied he was in love with her? In all the jumbled ramblings in her head, somehow that one had slipped through until that moment.

She sat up straight in bed.

“Sometimes it’s just a man who doesn’t know the first thing about love, who’s trying to do the right thing for someone he desperately wants to love.”

If he were lying, he was quite good at it, for those words had warmed her heart and done much to calm her angry blood. She lay there thinking about what she wanted to stay until the sun came up. Then she decided to go find him so they could get to the bottom of things.

Using the door between their rooms she stepped into the chamber she’d shared with him, only to find it empty and the bed untouched. She sighed knowing she was more likely to find him in his study.

She left their room in search of the man, only to find Frannie huddled outside her room crying.

“Frannie? What is wrong?” Thea helped her to stand, and put her arm around the trembling girl.

“I’m so sorry. I’ve done something terrible. You’re sure to hate me for it.”

“Shh. It seems as if a lot of people think I’m to jump to hating everyone. I’m beginning to think I must be some awful ogre.”

If Thea thought her jest would ease Frannie’s tears, she had been quite wrong. Something else that was happening with increasing frequency.

“Just tell me what has happened and we’ll go from there.” Better to head straight in.

“I—I sent a letter to your brother, telling him you were staying at Cawdor.”

Of all the things Thea thought the girl might say, it was certainly not that. Not just because Frannie seemed too innocent for any such duplicity, but that she obviously hated Stephen Rockledge more than any living person on Earth.

“Whyever would you do such a thing?” Thea asked and refrained from shaking the answer from the girl when she broke down into hysterical sobs.

Eventually she managed to speak again.

“I hated him so much for what he’d done. I thought he loved me, but it was all a lie. I felt like such a fool, which only made me hate him more. I knew the marquess fancied you. If your brother came to take ye away, there would be a skirmish and the marquess would win. I’d wanted to do it myself. I’d wanted to beat him bloody with the fireplace poker, but when the time came, I lacked the strength to see it done.”

As reasons went, Thea didn’t find this one lacking in much. It did work out as she’d wished. Stephen had gotten a good knocking out of it. Still it had repercussions that far outweighed revenge.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize that he would have thought to protect you by marrying you. Even still, after it was done, the two of you seemed happy enough for a while. But now I see how miserable you are in this marriage and I know it is my fault. I’m so sorry.”

Thea let out a breath and brushed back the girl’s hair. She should be horribly angry at the maid for interfering. Had Shay not married her she would have faced a life unfit of thinking about. But he had married her. To save her. And he’d told her he had no regrets about it.

She realized she had no regrets either. Perhaps that is why it was so easy to forgive the woman for her foolish plan.

“The truth is, I’m not so miserable in this marriage at all. The marquess lied to me about a few things. I was angry with him, but I realized that I wanted to believe him, because I want to be happy with him.”

“So you will not move away to the country? We’ll stay in London?”

“I didn’t say that. I’ve about had my fill of London, but when I return to the country, it will be with the marquess. I was on my way to tell him so right now.”

The girl smiled, but was not as pleased as Thea expected.

“You do not wish to return home to the country?” Thea guessed.

“I am enjoying the city,” she said, but didn’t look at Thea.

“Ah. Are you enjoying the city, or are you enjoying Robert MacLain?”

Frannie gasped but then broke into a sad smile when Thea chuckled.

“Is it so obvious? You must think me the biggest of ninnies to have been fooled so completely by your brother only to fall moony for another man. Perhaps my ma is right and I am a danger to myself.”

“Perhaps living through such an ordeal is not about never trusting another man ever again, but to learn whom we can and cannot trust. Afterall, not everyone would lie like my brother. And not everyone would be so kind as Robert or Shay. The skill to determine the difference may be the best we can hope for.”

“Do you think it is safe to trust Robert?”

“Has he tried to do any—”

“No! We have only talked. Even on the occasion we were alone he never once tried to do anything untoward. Even if he did glance at my lips and stumble over his words a bit.” Frannie smiled at the knowledge she’d left poor Robert unsettled.

Thea found herself smiling as well. Women did not hold much power in Society, but that wasn’t to say they had nothing to their advantage.

“I should thank you for your part in my marriage to Shay. I think it is time for he and I to work things out between us once and for all.”

She left Frannie to go find her husband. She’d made up her mind before her run-in with Frannie, but it was all the more important now that she apologize to Shay for thinking the worst of him.

Thea found her feet moving quickly as she headed for her husband’s study. She wanted to know everything about the situation. No more secrets.

She tapped twice on the door before entering, but two steps into the room she wished she’d stayed outside.

*

Shay lifted his thumping head and squinted across the room at the door where Thea stood looking around in dismay. He looked around as well, and had to agree. Things looked rather grim.

In a fit of rage at himself and his stupidity, he’d tossed about a few pieces of furniture. It had felt good at the time to get his frustrations out, but in the light—extremely bright light, as it were—of morning, he had regrets.

Thea spun back for the door, but just as he was about to beg her to stay and hear him out, he heard her speaking to Mrs. Smith, their housekeeper here.

“Please bring coffee for Lord Flemming, and a bit of bread and honey.”

That actually sounded like the most perfect thing ever.

A moan from the other side of his desk caught their attention and Shay turned to find Reese had fallen asleep in the corner of the room.

Shay nudged him with his foot.

“Get up, Reese. Time to go.”

“But I promised I’d not leave you until you’d won your love’s heart. Have you won it, Shay?”

“I’m not certain as of yet, but you’re not helping me with your drunken yammering so get up and go.”

Shay thought he saw Thea smirking as she turned again for the door.

“Please have Lord Breckenridge’s carriage brought around and have one of our footmen see him home and into his bed safely. It wouldn’t do for something to happen to the earl.”

“Right away, my lady,” Markel, the butler, agreed as Reese stumbled to his feet before swaying.

“Good luck to ye, lad. I hope you get her back.”

Shay squeezed his eyes closed and rubbed his forehead as a footman came in and escorted Reese out of the room. The door was no sooner closed than it opened again and in came Mrs. Smith with the food Thea had ordered brought in for him.

Thea took the tray herself and carried it over to his desk as the housekeeper left the room.

“Can you eat a bit? You’ll feel better with something in your stomach.”

“I don’t deserve to feel better, Thea. Look at me.” He gestured at the rumpled clothes she surely recognized as the ones he’d been wearing the evening before. He reeked of whisky and could barely keep his eyes open for squinting through the blinding light of morning.

“It looks like you had an exciting evening.” Again she looked around the room.

“Exciting? Nay.” He shook his head.

“What happened?”

“I can’t very well give myself a thrashing, so I took out the anger with myself on the furniture.”

“And that made you feel better, did it?”

“Actually it did. For a little while at least. Then I made the unfortunate mistake of sending for Reese, hoping he might have advice so I might navigate the treacherous waters I find myself in with regards to a happy future. Why would a married man seek counsel of a bachelor? It doesn’t stand to reason at all, does it? But then that was only one more mistake of dozens I’ve made so far.”

She let out a breath and turned the side table back to its feet before sliding it closer to the settee. She took the tray and rested it on the table before holding out a hand to him.

He nearly wept at the touch of her soft, warm hand in his. It was the perfect fit to his larger grip. He’d thought before that she’d been made for him. It seemed true in every way now.

“I’m sorry I kept things from you, Thea. I shouldn’t have. I can say I wished to protect you from unpleasantness, but that is not for me to decide. And it would be untrue. I kept it from you so you would not think unfavorably of me.”

“But you have shared other things with me.”

“Yes. What I did as a boy weighs me with guilt over what I did, but this… running a gaming hell, taking advantage of your brother…” He shook his head. “Guilt is felt for something a person has done. Shame, however, is what a person feels about themselves. When something about them is simply…wrong. That is why it was different. I’m ashamed of what I did. And I am terrified to have you think of me like that. It is easy to forgive a starving boy for doing what he felt he had to in order to survive. But there is no excuse for what I’ve done.”

“Tell me everything. Tell me the truth. And I promise to believe you.”

He looked up, unable to hide his surprise. Why would she listen? Why would she believe anything he said? He desperately wanted to pull her to him and ply her with kisses until she forgot he was the villain in this tale. But when the haze lifted, the truth would remain.

He owed her the truth. He owed her so much more than that, but he would give her this and hope she stayed so he might give her everything.

When he still remained silent, she cleared her throat and fidgeted.

“You asked me for a chance. Before I run away to the country and give up whatever we could have together, this is that chance. Do not waste it.”

He nodded and searched for the words and the courage to get through this conversation.