Page 21 of The Lady and the Lion (Victorian Outcasts #9)

nineteen

I f Samuel didn’t see Vivienne that night, he wouldn’t sleep.

Seeing her had become a necessity, especially since he needed to understand if she was upset because of the kiss. Dobkins had simply said Vivienne’s mother hadn’t let her out, but perhaps she regretted having kissed him and decided not to see him anymore, or maybe she’d taken ill.

“This is madness,” Captain Jackson said as they walked down the pavement next to him. “If you get caught in her room, there will be huge trouble.”

“I’ll be careful.”

“Wonderful. I feel so much better now. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

The captain rolled his eyes. “That was sarcasm.”

“Sarcasm. It’s like lying.”

“No, it’s like realism.” The captain shoved his hands in his pockets. “And it’s bloody freezing.”

They waited in a dark corner of the street until all the lights of the house had gone out.

“Don’t be long,” The captain grunted. “It’s so cold my bollocks have to be so blue and frozen we can hang them up on a Christmas tree.”

He scowled. “Disgusting.”

“Quick, lad.”

He climbed the tree in a moment and leapt through the open window. Happiness burst in his chest. She wanted to see him.

“Samuel.” Vivienne ran to him, and he caught her by the waist.

He meant to give her a quick hug, but the moment her arms were around his neck and her body was pressed against his, he couldn’t let her go. She clung to him with desperation as if they hadn’t seen each other in years.

He was hugging her. He couldn’t believe she was in his arms. Hugging her had come naturally.

She stepped back from him. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come. My mother believes I’m too tired. She worries about my health a lot.”

“I missed you.”

“Did you go to The Regent’s Park?”

He raised his hands to sign. “It wasn’t the same without you.”

“I’m not sure my mother will let me out soon.”

He caressed the top of her head, marvelling at how silky her hair was. “I thought you didn’t come because of the kiss.”

She flushed. “No, it wasn’t the kiss.”

She didn’t add anything else, like ‘ Would you kiss me again? ’ and he didn’t want to be too insistent.

He stroked her cheek, happy to see her. “I’ll leave before someone realises I’m here.”

She nodded, lowering her gaze. “Of course.”

He was about to get back to the tree when she took his hand. She didn’t say anything, but her large eyes had a private conversation with his heart.

“Yes?” he asked when she didn’t say anything.

“I’ll find a way to see you tomorrow. I promise.” She cupped his cheek, and he leant into her palm.

A sound like the hoot of an angry owl came from the street. Captain Jackson was growing impatient.

He kissed her hand before letting her go. She waved when he jumped on the tree. He went down slowly, thinking about going up again.

The emotions running through him turned cold when he was on the pavement, heading home with a brooding Captain.

What could he possibly offer to a lady like Vivienne?

He didn’t have a legal name, and Murdock was likely searching for him. And she was used to living in a beautiful house and wearing expensive gowns.

He pulled the collar of his jacket up to fend off the chilly wind.

For the cold gripping his heart, there was nothing he could do.

Vivienne had had enough of drinking useless potions and resting to recover from a disease she didn’t have. But Mother had decided she needed to rest more, claiming her complexion wasn’t healthy.

In truth, she’d stayed up until late the other night after Samuel had left her bedroom.

As she was sitting in her bedroom in front of the window, her thoughts kept going back and forth; one minute, she just wanted to live the moment with him without caring about the future; the next, she was too scared to hurt him as the captain had warned. Or to hurt herself.

“How do you feel today?” Mother tucked a shawl around her shoulders.

“More rested than yesterday.”

“Shall I send for more primrose potion?”

“No need. Truly, I feel rested and well.”

“It’s very cold today. The pavements are frosted, and the Serpentine is frozen, and even the Boating Lake in The Regent’s Park is solid ice. People are ice skating on it. Reckless.”

Yes, but it was boiling in her room. The fire had been going on for hours. Mother had added more blankets to the bed, and Vivienne wore so many layers her shoulders stooped under their weight.

If she stayed in bed one more day, she would truly fall ill from the lack of sunshine, air, and activity.

“I have to leave this afternoon,” Mother said. “I have an appointment with Dr. Tucker. He’s quite brilliant and so knowledgeable.”

Thank goodness .

“Will you be all right?” Mother asked.

“Yes. Don’t worry. Enjoy your afternoon.”

“I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

“I’m not dying!” She regretted her words the moment they left her lips.

Mother paled and seemed to have aged years in seconds. Her eyes clouded with hurt.

Vivienne rubbed her face. “I didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

Mother stared at the floor. “I only care about you.”

How could she say, ‘ You’re smothering me ’ without sounding harsh? “You must trust me when I say I’m fine, and you must stop believing everything around us is trying to kill us.”

“I’ll see you later.”

Vivienne pressed two fingers to her temples after Mother left.

Mother’s worry was understandable, mostly, but Vivienne should be free to live her life without being constantly stifled by her mother’s fears.

No one else in the family had fallen ill when Adele had contracted the scarlet fever. Surely that meant something.

Well, if Vivienne spent another day in her stifling bedroom, drinking that horrible potion, she would go mad. She changed into the dress she used to take long walks and put on a pair of thick boots. The sound of the carriage leaving brought her so much relief she felt guilty.

She left her bedroom and went downstairs with quick steps, enjoying the exercise.

“Dobkins?” she called.

Mark, the footman, came out of a door. “My lady, Dobkins is out for an errand.”

“I need my coat, and maybe Anne can come with me?” She gazed out of the frosted window, anticipating the bite of the crisp air. She would find an excuse to tell Anne about seeing Samuel.

“I’m sorry, my lady, but the countess left us strict instructions. You can’t go out today.”

She whipped her head towards him. “Excuse me?”

“My apologies. We have our orders.”

“Where’s my father?” She closed her fists.

“I’m afraid he isn’t home.”

“I’m trapped in my own house.”

Mark didn’t say anything.

“It’s not fair.”

“Would you like a cup of tea, my lady?”

“No, thank you.” She stomped back upstairs, angry tears blurring her vision.

The situation was her fault. She should have never pandered to Mother’s whims and delusions. Her captivity was the result of years of saying yes .

She paced across the bedroom, nervous energy fuelling her anger. Seeing Samuel was only part of the reason she wanted to leave her house. She needed to get out.

The tree branches swayed as if wanting her attention. She paused in front of the window. How difficult could it be to climb down a tree?

A chilling gust froze her skin when she opened the window. Her breath turned into mist. The old oak tree had seemed a lot closer a moment ago. Perhaps she should find another way to leave her room.

No, there wasn’t another way. The rear door would be filled with maids and footmen at this time of the day, and when Mother was in that panicked state, even Dobkins never wanted to disobey her.

After getting her coat, hat, and gloves, she rubbed her hands and grabbed the closest tree branch before putting a foot on the windowsill. Without looking down, she hauled herself up and straddled the branch. Her heart leapt to her throat when she wobbled. But so far, so good.

Moving backwards while gripping the branch, she lowered herself. It was easier than she’d thought, like riding a horse. The ground didn’t look far at all. Her foot slipped on a frozen spot on the bark, and she slid down at an alarming speed.

She couldn’t stop a scream as she rushed down the tree, trying to slow her descent by grabbing the branches. She hit the ground with her foot before landing on her rear. A shot of pain went up her back and leg, but the worst thing was Mark sticking his head out of a window.

He stared at her in shock. “My lady?”

Oh, no. She hadn’t risked breaking her neck to get caught.

She sprang up and raced along the pavement as fast as her throbbing ankle allowed. She must have twisted it.

Mark was tall and quick, but by the time he left the house, she had turned a corner, then another, till reached the high road and could hail the first hackney she saw.

Wheezing, she sagged in the seat, half-smiling and half-wincing. The escape had thrilled her, but her rear burned and her ankle throbbed. Not to mention Mother would punish her when she returned home. She was aware of that. But what was the difference between before or after her escape?

From now on, she would go against Mother more. She wanted to prove she was healthy and that Mother exaggerated her fears.

Vivienne was officially a rebel now.