Page 17 of The Lady and the Lion (Victorian Outcasts #9)

fifteen

S amuel had a new reason not to sleep at night, but for once, it wasn’t a bad memory or fear to keep him awake. Vivienne’s kiss burned on his cheek as if she’d branded him. A week had passed since the kiss, and he wondered how it would feel to kiss her, if she wanted to.

Since he’d recovered, he now slept on the sofa in the main room. Captain Jackson had protested, but while Samuel had never slept in a bed, the sofa was a luxury, and he was a poor sleeper anyway.

Dawn was blushing the sky when he brewed some strong tea.

Everything around him reminded him of Vivienne—the pink clouds were similar to her lips, the frost on the window shone like her eyes, and even the blast from a furnace reminded him of how his heart pounded when she was close to him.

Her presence in his mind was a welcome change from his dark thoughts.

“Tea. Good lad.” Captain Jackson yawned, coming out of the bedroom. “I’m ravenous.”

Samuel buttered his slice of bread absentmindedly, even though butter was his favourite new food.

How his life had changed in the past months amazed him. He’d gone from living in a cage to eating butter for breakfast and having been kissed. His first kiss.

The captain watched him from over the rim of his cup. “What’s wrong?”

He arched his brow. “Nothing.”

“Rubbish.” The captain put aside his plate. “You have a distracted gaze and keep flushing. Are you running a fever?”

Before Samuel could sign anything, the captain put a hand on his forehead.

“Are you having a relapse?” The captain placed his thumbs under Samuel’s eyes and pulled down the lower eyelids. “Relapse is normal if it happens, but you must tell me how you feel.”

“I’m fine.” He blinked.

“You aren’t wolfing down everything as usual. Is your stomach upset?”

Samuel smiled. “No. I’m fine.”

The captain studied him. “If it’s not a disease then it’s love, which is the same thing.”

Love? Samuel rubbed his chest. He had no idea if the flicker in his chest was love.

“Samuel, listen to me.” Captain Jackson’s serious tone worried him. “I understand how you feel. You left a horrible situation where you experienced only fear and abuse. We are the first people who care for you. Anyone would feel confused.”

He didn’t see where the captain was going.

“But I have to be brutal. Lady Vivienne is the daughter of an earl. After her Season, she will probably have a queue of suitors, all wealthy men or aristocratic gentlemen, who wish to marry her.”

Now he saw where the captain was going.

“She’s sweet and pretty, and she’s the first young woman who spends time with you.

It’s normal to…feel something for her. But after all the horrible things that happened to you, I don’t want you to have any illusions about this matter.

Once you’re completely recovered, and you find a job, which I hope you will, she’ll live her aristocratic life without us.

Hell, if she marries a toff, she won’t be allowed to spend time with us.

Horrible, yes, but that’s how society works. ”

Samuel hunched his shoulders and stared at his tea. Of course, Vivienne had a life full of opportunities and engagements that had nothing to do with him. His life had truly begun a few months ago. He couldn’t expect her to dedicate more time to him than she’d already done.

“I’m not telling you that to hurt you.” Captain Jackson searched his face. “It’s the opposite. But the reality of our society can’t be ignored. And…” He paused, scratching his beard. “Unfortunately, people don’t trust someone who can’t talk. They won’t accept you easily.”

He nodded. He should be grateful for being free, but if that was his future, then he would enjoy his time with Vivienne as much as possible. He would need the good memories for the days to come.

When she arrived for one of their frequent walks at The Regent’s Park, a riot of emotions thickened his throat.

“Would you like to go to the lake?” he asked.

“No, sorry. I have a dinner party tonight, and I need to get ready. I came only for a quick walk.”

“Is it a fancy party?”

“It is. Father ordered a Worth gown for me. It’s golden and white with pink roses.” She looked radiant. “Mother didn’t want me to go, didn’t want anyone to go, but Father insisted.”

“Why didn’t your mother want you to go?”

“She’s recovering from one of her crises. The physician gave her Godfrey’s Cordial.”

“I know what it is.” He’d drunk gallons of the sweet, syrupy potion that worked as a powerful sedative.

She exhaled, and her breath fogged in the cold air. “It pains me seeing her like that, weak, defeated, and sleeping all day. Father hates it when Mother takes sedatives, but he wants her to come tonight as well. He says she needs to get out more and that I need to make new friends, and I agree.”

He knew why. As the captain had said, she would find a suitor soon, and she might be tired of being in the company of a frightened man who couldn’t talk. “You must look lovely in this new gown. I would love to see you.”

She trapped her bottom lip between her teeth before saying, “We could meet after the party. I can sneak out of the house somehow and come to the flat.”

No, he didn’t like the idea. She already took too many risks to see him. He’d seen shady people walking down the street under the window at night, and a couple of times, a brawl had started, waking up the whole neighbourhood.

“Or I could come to you,” he said.

“Wouldn’t it be too dangerous? What if someone sees you around my house at night and warns the household?”

“I’ll be careful. I’ve been cooped up in the captain’s house for months.

Aside from the walks in the park, I don’t leave the house.

” While he was grateful for everything Captain Jackson had done for him, he wouldn’t mind a bit of an adventure.

“I’ll ask Captain Jackson to escort me to your house, but once I’m there? How can I see you?”

She craned her neck towards Dobkins and the captain. “There’s a tree right outside my window. You could climb it, and if I leave the window open, you’ll be able to jump into my bedroom easily, but it might be too dangerous for you.”

Actually, no. If there was one thing he was good at, it was climbing. Cade had often forced him to perform while climbing the cage or the ropes to impress the audience.

“I lived in a circus. Climbing a tree won’t be a problem, and I’m curious to see where you live.” He must have said something offensive because she knit her eyebrows.

“I live in Mayfair,” she said as if expecting a reaction from him.

“I’m sure it’s a beautiful place.”

“Yes, it is.” Her worried tone left him puzzled.

After the promenade in the park, Vivienne walked back to the flat, chatting with Samuel about the different types of social engagements.

He dedicated all his attention to her. “So there are dinner parties, evening parties, afternoon parties, garden parties, and tea parties…did I forget something?”

“Just one. I love balls the most.” She twirled, and he followed her with his gaze.

“You must teach me how to dance.”

“I will.” She hooked her arm through his, and he beamed at her.

Dobkins cleared her throat, and even the captain grumbled.

Vivienne was about to leave Samuel at the flat to hail a cab home when the captain called her.

“A word, my lady?” His too-polite tone didn’t bode well. “I’ll escort you to the high street.”

“What’s wrong?” Dobkins said.

“Nothing.” The captain stuck his head inside the flat. “Samuel, I’ll be back in a moment. Put the kettle on, will you?”

“What is it?” She waved at Samuel who was looking at her from the window.

The captain closed the door behind him and started to walk. “What is this madness?”

“What?”

“Samuel told me you invited him to see you tonight after you return from your dinner party. He mentioned climbing a tree to reach your window.”

“My lady!” Dobkins gasped.

Vivienne’s face warmed. “Well, yes. He wished to see me wearing my new evening gown, and I offered to come here after the dinner party, but he thought it too dangerous and said he preferred to come and see Mayfair, where I live.”

“It is dangerous. Both are too dangerous,” the captain said at the same time as Dobkins said, “Inappropriate.”

“I told him it could be dangerous, but he insisted, and he said he’d been cooped up in the flat for too long. I agree.”

The captain frowned. “He’s been cooped up in the flat for a damn good reason.”

“Language,” Dobkins said.

“Cade and Murdock left,” Vivienne said. “The police aren’t patrolling the streets anymore, and Samuel looks completely different.”

“Sod Murdock. I was referring to his mind.” The captain put a hand on his chest. “And heart. I know the chance that Murdock and Cade could find him is low, but Samuel is vulnerable to other types of dangers.”

She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth. The captain was exaggerating.

“Lady Vivienne,” Captain Jackson started patiently, “we know your future and his future travel in two different directions. With no family, connections, or status, not to mention with no voice, the best he can hope for is to work at the docks or on a building site. Good professions, but not enough for an earl’s daughter.

Officially, he doesn’t exist. Tell me, what are his chances of spending time with an earl’s daughter? ”

She wrung her hands. “You’re too grim. I could help him find employment in my house.”

“Great. Wonderful. And then what? Will you take tea with the stable hand?” He inched closer. “How do you think he would feel when you marry a toff? That young man is quite smitten with you. Hasn’t he suffered enough?”

“Captain,” Dobkins said. “Lady Vivienne has no intention of hurting Samuel. Don’t throw accusations.”

“Lady Vivienne might hurt Samuel unintentionally. We often forget how different he is from us.”

She rubbed her brow. “That’s a good point.” Although who knew what would happen? She was sure they would find a way to be happy.

“Put yourself in his shoes.” The captain’s tone became gentler. “He doesn’t know much about love and affection, and then he meets you, pretty, kind, and caring. I would say it’s inevitable that he falls for you, and that he falls hard.”

“I care for him as well,” she whispered.

“That’s lovely, but for his own sake, let’s end the feeling there.”

“I agree with the captain,” Dobkins said. “Samuel wouldn’t understand why he can’t see you if things between you two grow into something impossible.”

She acknowledged the bitter taste of sadness in her mouth.

“Exactly for that reason, I want my days with him to be filled with good experiences. He wants to see me, and I think he needs a distraction from his confinement and to see something else other than the park. Please, just for this once, will you let him go? He needs to explore London. Keeping him confined in the flat won’t do him any good. ”

Captain Jackson exhaled. “Climbing at night into a lady’s bedroom isn’t the right way to start knowing London better.”

Dobkins was flustered. “I agree. Again. I’m worried.”

“You’ll go with him.” Vivienne stopped walking. “You know Mayfair well. If something worries you, and you think you should return home, then by all means, you’ll leave. But Samuel needs something exciting to look forward to.”

“Yes, getting arrested for trespassing is thrilling.” The captain scoffed.

Dobkins chuckled but composed herself immediately.

“I’m sure you’ll understand if the situation is dangerous or not,” Vivienne said. “Dobkins could make sure the draperies on the ground-floor windows are well shut. Lest someone see him.”

Dobkins didn’t look pleased.

“Just this once,” she insisted.

The captain worked his jaw. “At the first sign of trouble, I’ll take him home.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

“But please, keep in mind what I have said. He’s too fragile. Another blow would shatter him.”