Page 14

Chapter

Fourteen

Clara was apprehensive about their hike and didn’t sleep well. Brex had something to tell her, something beyond him falling in love with a selfish preacher’s daughter who had broken his heart and made him focus on material possessions to prove he was enough, more than going to Venezuela to fight gangsters, traffickers, murders, drug runners—who knew? She wanted to love him and support him in his career, but it was terrifying what he did and unnerving not knowing the details.

What if Weston was right and Brex was hiding something nefarious from her? Brex had obviously been hiding something, but now he was volunteering to tell her. They’d work it out. That was all that mattered. Weston had been a great friend to her, but he’d always wanted more and he’d been jealous of each of her boyfriends. Jane had even admitted to her that Weston’s marriage had partially ended because his wife ‘wasn’t Clara’. He was only acting jealous again. She’d chosen Brex over her lifelong friends last night. That hurt, but Brex was worth it.

He picked her up early the next morning and neither of them said much as they drove toward the trail. She realized he was driving to Oljeta Canyon northwest of town. They’d hiked this canyon a couple times before, but she didn’t like the forty to fifty foot drops from the highest point as the trail weaved up through a slot canyon and gradually came out on top of the canyon walls. The slot canyon’s walls were jagged at some points and sheer cliffs at others. Her brother Lincoln loved to come here and try to free climb up the jagged spots. He usually gave up after about fifteen feet.

They parked in the lot with a few other cars, their occupants already out hiking, running, or biking. As they got out, she strapped on a small backpack with water, lip balm, tissue, and her phone in it. She knew his pack had a gun and knife in it. His world was foreign and intriguing to her. She thought of him infiltrating bad guys in Venezuela and shivered.

“You cold?”

She shook her head. “Just thinking of you fighting bad guys in Venezuela.”

He smiled briefly, then pulled her into him, hugging her tightly. “I’ll be okay. I’m as worried about you in Angola.”

“I’ve done that trip five times. We have two security guards, and the locals watch out for us. I’ll be safe.”

He nodded against her hairline and then kissed her forehead. “I don’t want us to be apart.”

“It feels like I’m ripping my heart out and sending it to Venezuela,” she admitted.

His lips trailed down the side of her face. His warm breath made her skin tingle. “That’s exactly how it feels.”

She closed her eyes and savored the sensation of his body surrounding hers, his lips taking their time kissing her cheek and then her jawline. His lips moved to her neck and her entire body heated at the sensation. His lips dipped toward her collarbone and fire filled her.

“Brex!” She grabbed his cheeks and said his name too loudly for the quiet morning and their intimate position.

“Yeah?” He glanced up at her, his dark eyes full of desire. For her.

This might be one of their last moments alone before she flew out in the morning. She didn’t want to interrupt the heated kisses he was placing on her neck, but she needed to. Too much passion and getting out of control physically could damage their trust and love.

“Shall we pray?” The words sprang from her lips.

“Pray?” He chuckled uneasily, and any romance and heat fled his gaze. He straightened to his full height, released his hold on her, and stared down at her. He didn’t look upset, but definitely not comfortable with her suggestion.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she squeaked out.

He grinned then, and it was beautiful. “It’s probably for the best.” He shook his wrist and glanced at his watch, then focused on her with an intensity in his dark eyes that made her pulse speed up. “My thoughts weren’t very focused on prayer at that moment.”

She knew exactly what he meant, and she flushed, embarrassed but also wishing in a way she hadn’t interrupted. She could’ve directed his head up instead of letting his lips progress to her collarbone and neckline. Brex would’ve worked his way to her lips and they would’ve been involved in a different version of heaven right now.

Was that what he needed to tell her? He’d been intimate with multiple women and worried that she’d think less of him? Her stomach squirmed at the thought, but she wouldn’t judge him for his past. Everyone made mistakes, and if he wasn’t a believer, he wouldn’t have thought being intimate was a sin. Most of the world didn’t see it that way.

“Prayer?” she asked again, concerned about what he had to tell her and afraid he’d reject the idea of prayer like he had yesterday.

“Okay,” he conceded, then muttered, “We might both need it.”

“What do you mean?”

He shook his head. “Let’s pray, then we’ll talk.”

Relief filled her. He’d agreed to pray with her. She offered her hands, and he grasped each of hers in his larger ones. “Do you want me to …?”

“Your idea.”

He looked slightly uncomfortable, but at least he was willing to pray with her. She’d told him her love for him wasn’t conditional on him believing the same as she did, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t share her faith and beckon him to partake of God’s goodness and light.

She bowed her head, closed her eyes, and clung to his hands. “Dear Father in Heaven. We come before Thee humble and in need. Tomorrow we will be far apart. Please keep Brex safe in his travels and his work. Please bless us with miracles to be able to come back together, to love each other as Thou would have us do, and to someday have a beautiful family of our own.”

She could feel Brex startle, and his grip on her hands tightened.

“Please keep us safe today, spiritually and physically. Please bless Brex to know how loved he is by Thee and by me. Whatever he needs to tell me … help me to be understanding and full of love for him. In the name of our Lord and Savior, even Jesus Christ, amen.”

Brex echoed the amen. Then he released her left hand but kept her right inside of his and started up the trail. The predawn was beautiful and peaceful. They passed two hikers already headed back down the canyon and said hello.

They often chatted as they hiked, but today it felt like a spiritual solemnness was upon them. From her prayer or their imminent separation, or maybe preparing her for whatever he needed to tell her?

Reaching the top of the canyon walls, they walked along the ledge and then stopped and stared at the view for a bit. She glanced nervously around, but they were safe. No one was here to shove Brex off the cliff.

Maybe there was no murderer. Maybe all those horrific accidents were just that, and she needed to let that angst go and focus on loving Brex.

If he would ever tell her he loved her back.

As they headed back down the trail, Clara felt pressure building in her chest. They were safe from the edge, but there was a secret coming. Whatever he needed to tell her, she needed to hear it soon. They reached level ground and paused next to a tall, jagged red rock wall to take a drink. She couldn’t take it much longer.

“You said last night you have other secrets to share … besides going to Venezuela?”

He nodded, studying the rock wall.

“Are you still wanting to share those with me?”

“Wanting to?” He lifted his brows. “Not really wanting to, but I definitely need to.” He shook his wrist and looked at his watch, then focused on her. The sun rose in the east and a shaft penetrated the canyon angle at that moment and framed Brex like a halo. Clara was certain this man was heaven sent. Did he recognize that?

He took her hand and started walking slowly back down the trail. “Clara, I didn’t come to Jade Valley to train the police.”

She nodded. “You’re here for a different assignment from Aiden Porter?”

“Yes. The police training was the cover.”

“Okay.” She wanted to be excited he was sharing, but he was too solemn and her stomach felt uneasy. “What is your mission?” Something dangerous in Jade Valley? It didn’t fit.

His mouth twisted, and he didn’t say anything for a few beats. “I’m afraid you’re going to hate me.”

“Hate you?” Clara stopped walking and turned to face him. “I already told you, Brex, there’s no world where I could hate you.”

He studied her deeply, as if looking for holes in her sincerity. Then his eyes filled with determination. “Clara. I was hired by Rulon and Pamela Hendry to prove that you murdered Malik Hendry, Harrison Jones, and Kyle Tanner.”

She blinked at him. Was he pulling a prank on her? The depth of seriousness in his eyes terrified her. She’d known Pamela never liked her, thought she was below Malik’s status, but to think …

Yanking her hand free, she backed up a couple steps. “The Hendrys think I’m the murderer, even though the police and FBI cleared me?”

He nodded.

“And they hired you, through Aiden Porter, to prove I did it.” It clicked so quickly she wondered why she hadn’t had an inkling of the accusations until this moment.

“Yes.”

“But that’s … there’s no proof. Not even the FBI found anything, and you didn’t find anything, right? Or are you hiding something else from me? Do you believe …?”

“No, Clara.” He stepped up closer. “No. It didn’t take me long at all to see you were an innocent angel and the accusations are unfounded. But I wanted to try to find the murderer, if there was one, so I reunited with you to use myself as bait and draw the murderer out.”

That was horrible. She felt unsteady and chilled as she tried to process what he was revealing.

“I agreed to the job,” he continued, as if trying to explain. “I signed the contracts, and there was a million-dollar bonus on the line.” He looked at her as if she’d scream at him.

Clara didn’t want to scream at him, but she was having a hard time wrapping her mind around the man she’d fallen in love with investigating her for Malik’s parents. That he’d gotten close to her with an ulterior motive.

“A million dollars?” she asked.

He nodded.

“That’s a lot of money.”

“It is. But it’s not about the money.” His dark eyes seared into her. “Before I met you, the money and status were what I lived for. Like I told you, I’d become a hollow shell of myself. I thought the million dollars could make me happy, clear my debts, give me a chance to soar in the social scene.” He shook his head. “But I’m not here for the money anymore.”

“Then why are you here?” She licked her lips, uncertain if she could trust his answer. For months she’d been falling in love with him under false pretenses. He’d only been dating her as a cover. The pain and betrayal of that hit her like a hammer.

“I’m here for you, Clara. I want to protect you, stay by your side, love you.”

Now he brought up love? Trust and love went hand in hand. He hadn’t trusted her. In fact, he had lied to her. Their entire relationship was built on falsehoods. Her stomach twisted and her neck tightened.

“Brex. All of this …” She gestured between them. “You got close to me, dated me, k-kissed me, because I was your assignment and you were supposed to prove I was the murderer?”

His eyes were wary, but he nodded. “Originally, yes.”

Clara’s world dropped out from under her. She backed away from him. “Do I even know the real you?”

“Yes.” He didn’t move toward her, but his dark gaze begged her to trust him. “I’m still coming to know myself, honestly, but you saw the real me, saw through my pretenses. I’m still the same man you claimed to love.”

How could he say she only ‘claimed’ to love him? That wasn’t fair or true. She was confused and upset, sick to her stomach and betrayed, but she still loved him.

“I was conflicted and hated that I was playing a role,” Brex continued, “but I fell for you, Clara. I was lifted by your light and your goodness, your sincerity. Amazed by you and completely gone over you.” He paused, waiting for that to sink in. She wanted to love the words but didn’t know if she could trust anything he said now. When she didn’t respond, he said, “I’m so sorry that I had to keep all of this from you.”

“You had to?”

He looked miserable. “It’s the nature of my job, undercover work. If I told the suspect why I was interacting with them, it wouldn’t play out very well.”

And she was the suspect.

“Is this playing out very well?” She gestured between them.

He drew in a breath. His shoulders lifted, and he shook his head. “No.”

“What did you expect? What do you want me to say?” Her chest hurt, and she was having a hard time catching her breath.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I hoped you could forgive me and love me still, but I wouldn’t blame you if you want to scream at me and throw rocks at my head.”

She was somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. She backed up and turned away from him.

He followed her.

“Please don’t.” She held up a hand, not looking at him. “Give me some space so I can pray and figure out how to deal with … you.”

“Okay.”

He backed away, and she closed her eyes. She didn’t even know what to pray for. She’d been lied to, deceived. Brex claimed to have fallen for her, but it was all a pretense. He’d pretended to be her boyfriend for his job. Thinking back, she remembered the times he’d seemed conflicted or said he shouldn’t kiss her. He’d been struggling with his conscience.

No matter how conflicted he was, he’d played her, hadn’t trusted her, had lied to her and taken advantage of her for a job.

A wisp of sound came, and then a rumble. Was that an earthquake? She spun, looking around. Then she spotted the massive boulder launching off the cliff and on target to smash Brex’s head open.

“Brex!”

He dove forward, seeming to fly toward her. Wrapping her up tight, he rolled and skidded on the sand-covered trail. She was protected by his arms and larger body. The boulder crashed to the ground and shot dust and small particles at them.

Brex looked to where the boulder had fallen, and his jaw tightened. She glanced over. A jade-colored stone sparkled in the dust next to the massive rock.

He lifted her off of him and murmured, “Stay here, Clara.”

Then he pushed to his feet. He ran three steps and jumped, launching off the fallen boulder. He grabbed handholds in the jagged cliff side and scrambled up it like a mountain goat. What was he doing? What if he fell or was pushed back down the cliff?

That jade colored stone blinked at her and made her stomach convulse.

Brex.

Broken, lifeless, dead just like Harrison, Kyle, and Malik.

“Brex!”

Clara couldn’t lose him.

He’d betrayed her and hurt her, but she still loved him.

Please protect him , she begged their Father above.