Page 13

Chapter

Thirteen

Clara noticed that Brex seemed brighter and happier than she’d ever seen him. He was dressed casually for her farewell barbecue in her parents’ backyard with most of her family and many friends from church and the community. He still looked incredibly handsome in a T-shirt and joggers, and his clothing still probably cost more than anybody else’s, but he wasn’t as decked out as usual. Interesting.

Was he happy they were parting ways? No. He seemed more invested in her than ever and didn’t leave her side or hardly look away from her face all evening. He didn’t even shake his wrist and look at his watch.

It was as if a burden had been lifted. She was anxious to get him alone and hoped he would share what had changed. He also kept trying to get her alone, but it never happened with the crowd inside and outside her parents’ house.

When she walked him to the front door to say goodbye, his dark eyes grew intense. “Clara … I need to tell you something.”

“Okay.” Anticipation filled her. What if he’d made arrangements to come to Angola with her? What if this was goodbye? His job here was done and he didn’t know when he’d return?

Grandma Gem and Granny Pearl shuffled into the entryway. “Ooh, forgive us,” Grandma Gem crowed.

Granny Pearl winked at Clara. “Kissing time.”

“My favorite time of the day.” Grandma Gem’s jade eyes sparkled.

Granny Pearl turned and gestured wildly to Grandma Gem. “What do you know about it? You haven’t kissed a man in ten years.”

Grandpa Gem had died ten years ago of a heart attack. It would seem like a harsh comment but these two ladies loved each other, and teased each other nonstop. Granny Pearl’s husband Papa Juan was still alive but didn’t leave the house much, so her two grandmothers were always attached at the hip. She adored them, but they were a lot sometimes.

“Shows what you know,” Grandma Gem said. “Greg at the hardware store likes to steal kisses every time he delivers to my house.”

“Oh!” Granny Pearl gasped, her dark eyes full of mischief. “He delivers to your house once a century, so I know you’re lying.”

“He makes up excuses to come by.” Grandma Gem pumped her eyebrows at Brex and Clara.

“I thought you told me everything,” Granny Pearl threw at her.

“A girl has to have some secrets.” Grandma Gem winked at them and tugged Granny Pearl out of the entryway as Granny Pearl demanded more details.

Brex grinned at the interchange, but there was something in his eyes that hinted at almost desperation to get whatever he needed to tell her out.

“Sorry,” Clara said with a laugh. “They’re a pair.”

“I think they’re great.”

“Thanks. What is it you need to tell me?” She couldn’t stand waiting much longer.

Lincoln danced into the entryway. “My favorite sis and my favorite guy!” he called out. He looped an arm around both of them, almost kinking Clara’s neck. “You want to go make dry ice bombs with me and the boys?”

“No.” Clara laughed at her rambunctious brother and ducked out of his elbow. “Don’t you dare make bombs.”

“Ah, sis, they’re harmless.” He lifted both hands innocently. “Who needs a mailbox?”

“That’s a crime,” she shot at him.

He laughed, not a concern in the world. “I’m gonna miss you two. Wait. Brex. Are you staying here while Clara ditches me?”

Ditching him. When he was nine or ten he’d sobbed as she hugged him goodbye to go on a mission trip and told her she didn’t love him and was ditching him. They teased about it now but it had broken her heart then. Lincoln was dramatic and so loving.

“I’ve got a new op in Venezuela,” he admitted, his eyes looking a little frantic now.

No wonder he wanted to get her alone and talk to her. Venezuela. The country was a hotbed for a lot of terrifying activities. Brex was tough, but she couldn’t handle knowing he was in danger. Was she cut out to be the girlfriend of a security specialist?

“Sweet! My man. Taking down bad guys.” Lincoln bumped his fist and then backed away. “I’ll let you two get busy. Sorry to interrupt the make out.”

“Thanks, man.” Brex stepped in close to her brother and explained to Lincoln how to safely make a dry ice bomb and avoid prison. He talked to him like a man, and Lincoln beamed. It showed Brex’s goodness and the relationship he had with her brother. She remembered Malik needing some space from Lincoln when the kid got too crazy.

They bumped fists and then Lincoln cheered. “You didn’t even deny you were making out! Dang, my future bro is rizzy .” He danced off.

As soon as her little brother disappeared, Brex focused on her. His deep-brown gaze seared through her with warmth and longing. Lincoln was right that he was rizzy, she wished he was going to be Lincoln’s future bro, but all she could concentrate on right now was him going to a terrifying country to perform a terrifying task.

“V-Venezuela?” she managed. “Is it a dangerous job?” She realized how silly the question was as soon as she got it out.

He nodded.

Clara let out a whimper, flung her arms around him, and cuddled close, clinging to his strong lower back. “Couldn’t you have lied to me?”

His eyes widened and filled with guilt. She didn’t mean He felt awful that she was stressing about him. Brex was so good.

“Ah, Clara.” He hugged her fiercely to him, as if some external power could pull them apart. Then he claimed her mouth with his. The kiss was intense and passionate. He loved her and didn’t want to be apart. She completely agreed.

They pulled apart and studied each other. He had a desperate, almost guilty look in his eyes. She needed to reassure him. Of course she didn’t want him in danger, but she loved how brave he was and his willingness to fight for innocents and right wrongs. He was a hero; she couldn’t hold him back with her fears.

“Brex, don’t worry about me. It’s terrifying to think of you in danger, but I’ll pray hard and trust that God will protect you.”

He blinked at her. “Clara …” He shook his head. “You’re far too good for me.”

“That’s not true.”

He only arched his brows, then claimed her lips again. The kiss was fierce and possessive and only made her want more of his kisses.

“Clara, there’s more I have to tell you,” he whispered against her lips. His voice was urgent, his eyes as intense as his kiss had been.

“Okay.” She nodded her encouragement.

“I’m afraid you’ll hate me.”

“What?” Clara shook her head. “There is no world where I could ever hate you, Brex Cabella. I love you.”

His body stiffened against her, and she worried it was too fast. She thought he loved her too, but she was the only one who kept saying it. Brex was so honorable. He probably wouldn’t tell her he loved her because he feared he might lose his life and she’d be more heartbroken knowing the depth of his love.

“Clara, you think you love me, but you don’t know everything about me,” he said softly.

“I want to know everything, but I love you no matter what.”

His gaze was full of wonder and full of her. “You are light and happiness, Clara. It’s no wonder I’m so driven to be close to you. I … haven’t been genuine or truly happy in years.”

“Because of your work?”

He nodded. “And my lifestyle. I wanted to be showy and semi-famous, dress the part, drive the right car, and date the actresses and super models and … it was all empty and shallow.” He studied her, as if testing how she would react.

She’d felt that discrepancy between them. He was polished and like a superhero off the big screen, but he was real with her.

“You are more than enough, Brex. You don’t need fancy clothes or cars to be desirable, to be perfect to me. What someone has isn’t who they are. I’ve learned that in desperately poor countries around the world. With some of the best people, incredible people, like you.”

His brows went up, but then he said quietly, “Thank you, Clara. I know that’s true with you. I’m safe … with you.”

“You are.” Was that what he wanted to share with her?

His eyes darted back toward the living area, and then he lowered his voice, concentrating on her. “When I was new to San Diego, I thought I fell in love, ironically with a renowned preacher’s daughter.”

That surprised her. Melody had found lots of beautiful and semi-famous ladies photographed with him in her social media search, but not a renowned preacher’s daughter. She didn’t really love the parallel. “What happened?”

His mouth twisted. “Alayna dumped me because I wasn’t spiritual enough, didn’t wear the right clothes, drive the right vehicle, or live in the right area.”

“A preacher’s daughter?” She shook her head in disbelief. “She sounds like a shallow brat.”

Brex chuckled. “In ways she was, but her father was one of the top evangelical pastors on television. They had a persona to uphold.”

“That’s stupid.” She felt jealous and was saying petty things about some unknown girl. The woman had Brex’s love and had dumped it for such inane reasons. Was that why he wouldn’t tell Clara he loved her? Or did he not love Clara like he’d loved this girl? Alayna. It was a pretty name. She was probably beautiful.

“That initiated my irrational drive to be successful. The competitive San Diego singles scene fueled it. I loved the police force and being a detective, but I knew I’d never make enough money there to reach my goals. So I got in debt to live a lifestyle I couldn’t maintain. When Nick made me the offer to work for Aiden, I thought it was my path to success. I wanted to be the next Aiden Porter. But I wanted to do it without any of the faith that Aiden has and for the wrong reasons. I didn’t even realize how selfish and ugly I’d become, a pretty boy facade that was very ugly on the inside, until I met you.”

“You aren’t selfish, and you’re the furthest thing from ugly,” she insisted. Could he not see how heroic and impressive he was?

“Clara. You’ve rescued me. Thank you. I didn’t even realize how irrational my shallow dreams were until I met you and saw how much more I wanted to live for.” They shared a look so deep and fulfilling she had no doubt he loved her like she loved him. He clasped both of her hands in his. “There’s more I have to tell you. Some things that might be difficult for you to forgive.”

Her stomach twisted at that. What would she need to forgive? Something he’d done on his path to prove himself in San Diego?

Footsteps came, and they both turned to look as her brother Vance came into the entryway. “Apologies.” He held up his hands and gave them his slow smile. “I’ll go out the garage.”

Brex chuckled and ushered her away from the door so Vance could get by them. He released her hands. “It’s okay. I need to go as well.”

Vance gave her a quick hug. “Stay safe, little sis.”

“I will, big bro.” Her oldest brother was incredible. He was thicker than Brex, more of a bodybuilder shape. He had clients who traveled from around the world to stay at his beautiful facility and use his skills as a trainer.

“Love ya.” He kissed her forehead, raised a hand to Brex, and headed out the door.

Brex held onto the door, warm air spilling into the air-conditioned house. “This obviously isn’t the time to spill all my secrets.”

She smiled, but he was too serious for her liking. “We can chat on the hike in the morning.”

“Okay. That’ll be good. I don’t want anyone to overhear.” He glanced back at the entrance to the foyer. Her family was large, and friends were coming and going as well.

He’d already told her some very personal things and risked them being overheard. What kind of secret was this? Him going to Venezuela for work had been big enough. Then he’d shared about his first love and his desires for wealth and prestige. What else was there? Cold pricked at her skin even though it was a warm early summer night in the desert.

Brex gave her a soft kiss. “I’ll pick you up at five-thirty.”

“See you then.”

She watched him stride to his Range Rover parked across the street and two houses down. The street and driveway had been full of friends and family’s cars earlier, but it was gradually emptying.

His car was fancy, and he always dressed in name brand clothing. Even his T-shirt and joggers were Lululemon. He’d admitted he got into debt to live that life. Did he still want the high-society lifestyle? She was the furthest thing from that with her homemade clothes and her low-paying but charitable job.

“When are you going to dump him?” Weston asked from behind her.

She turned to see him and Jane standing side by side. Jane’s eyes looked compassionate.

“Never,” she hurled at him, anger filling her. No matter what Brex had to tell her, she would stay by his side and love him. Figuratively. They would be separated in two days. “I love Brex. He’s the real deal. You need to stop being so weird about me dating him.”

Weston’s jaw was clenched tight. “He’s hiding something from you. Aiden Porter’s op? In Podunk Jade Valley? It doesn’t add up.”

She glared at him, though his words made her spine prickle with unease. “Back off, Weston. We’ve been friends a long time and you need to trust me that Brex is incredible and the right one for me.”

“The right one? You’re going to choose him? Over us?” He gestured between him and Jane.

Jane said nothing. She was usually so calm but she suddenly looked panicked. Jane was loyal to Weston. Always. Clara understood that. Weston had always watched out for Jane and Jane innocently loved him. It ticked her off that Weston was forcing her to choose. She was thirty years old. Maybe the friends of her youth needed to be relegated to her past.

“Yes, I am.” She stomped past them and bypassed the living area, heading straight down the stairs and to her room. Once she was inside, she fell to her knees, confused and worried.

Had she just dumped her closest friends? Jane was innocent and needed her. Weston had been through so much and was a loyal and great guy.

But she loved Brex.

What secret did Brex need to tell her?

Could Weston be right and Brex wasn’t who she thought he was?

No. That wasn’t possible.

She bowed her head and prayed for insight and for Brex. She loved him. Even if they had to be apart, they could somehow come back together.

She had to have faith that would happen.

Or she’d fall completely apart.