Page 10

Chapter

Ten

Brex was an absolute mess and certain he was failing at this job. Rulon and Pamela had called to check his progress after the brilliant kissing session in the waterfall and he’d had to admit he was no closer to finding the killer. They were obviously disappointed and Pamela kept saying Clara was the murderer, which made his gut twist and made him want to lash out. He’d calmly told her he’d keep working to find answers and ended the call.

He should be playing a part to get close to Clara and drawing out whoever might have murdered those men, but after their reconnection at their magical slot canyon waterfall, he couldn’t keep his hands from reaching for her. Emotional distance was nowhere in his mind.

He hated lying to her and didn’t like himself much right now. Except the way Clara seemed to see him. In her eyes, he seemed to be the sun, moon, and stars. How was a man from a shallow existence supposed to resist the genuine and unique beauty that was Clara Gem?

He and Clara spent their mornings and evenings together. He needed to be with her and wanted to draw out the attempted murderer.

Her mission trip and his assignment deadline were only two weeks away. Brex didn’t know how he would let Clara go. Not just because this case was far from solved, but because he was falling in love with her and wanted her by his side every moment. It blew his mind that he could fall in love with a Christian who was as naturally beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. She wore very little makeup, homemade clothes that fit her perfectly, and social scene or posturing weren’t even in her vocabulary.

Tonight they were having a barbecue in her backyard with her parents, the vivacious Melody, Clara’s hilarious brother Lincoln, her oldest brother Vance, her firefighter brother Wade, her cousin Tess, her close friends Jane and Weston, and her entertaining grandmothers.

As they bowed their heads and Vance said a heartfelt prayer, Brex stewed about religion and what a huge part of Clara’s life it was. They hadn’t talked about the fact that he wasn’t a believer. Maybe she thought he was. He attended church with her, bowed his head for prayers, never questioned her beliefs.

The prayer finished, and they all dished up. He looked around at the paper tablecloths, the mismatched chairs in the backyard, the plastic lemonade bottles instead of wine coolers, Baxter running around eating anything that someone tossed to him.

He loved the down-home feeling, the homemade food, her Grandma Gem and Granny Pearl teasing everyone, he loved all of her family truly. It stunned him how accepting her family was of him. Shouldn’t her dad, an insightful and religious leader, see through him like Shayna’s dad had? He pushed those memories away.

As they ate, Lincoln started telling jokes that his mom Ruth said were ‘crass’. Brex couldn’t help but laugh at Lincoln’s jokes. He thought of any of these innocent people around some of his ‘friends’ from San Diego and was grateful for the protective bubble that seemed to surround Jade Valley.

Later, during cleanup, Melody bumped into his side. “Are you going to let me put you and my gorgeous sister on my channel? I could raise a lot more money for her charity if I bragged about Aiden Porter’s top operative dating my sis.” She sang half the words and grinned vivaciously at him.

“He likes to stay incognito,” Weston muttered behind him.

Brex gave the guy a pointed look.

“Weston,” Jane whispered loudly. “Careful with the buff guy.”

“Oh, Jane.” Weston gently guided Jane over to play with the dog Baxter. The guy did have some redeeming qualities.

Did no one but him, and Weston, see the contrast between him and Clara? She was genuine, light, and joy; he was shallow and lying to her.

Brex focused on Weston talking quietly to Jane as he wrapped up paper goods in the throw away paper table cloths. He was struck by the contrast of an outdoor barbecue on the beach he’d been to with Rachel where they’d used china and real silver. Miserable people hiding behind fake smiles and cocktails, only there to make themselves look better than everyone around them. No one here was posturing, except maybe Weston. Weston aside, he loved how relaxed everyone was.

This casual family atmosphere was far from the life he’d imagined for himself. The million-dollar paycheck for this case felt as elusive as the murderer. It felt impossible to see past Clara’s authenticity and light. The guilt of being here for the job and the money dug at him. Was he still that shallow, social ladder climbing guy, or was he becoming Clara’s guy and could somehow make recompense for hiding the truth from her?

He tossed a wad of paper tablecloths, napkins, and plates in the garbage and turned. Lincoln had Clara in a bear hug and lifted her off the ground. She looked small compared to her huge little brother, but Clara was substantial in every way that mattered.

Laughing, she let Lincoln spin her around, then she shoved at him and he set her on her feet. She glanced over at Brex. The moment seemed to catch and hold. Clara was all he could see and all he wanted to see. If they’d been alone, he might’ve fallen to the ground and begged her to marry him. She was real … and exactly what he wanted and needed in his life.

After the barbecue, Brex and Clara said goodbye to everyone, ignoring the annoyed looks from Weston and the speculative looks from everyone else, and went on a late-night walk. Brex was armed and kept an eye out for danger. They ended up at a park by the river and sat on a bench. It was quiet and peaceful, the flow of the water their only accompaniment.

Brex wrapped one arm around her and took her hand with his other hand. He was failing at this job, but he couldn’t let anyone know that. It was difficult to focus on anything but the enticing Clara. All of his research and Aiden’s team’s research had turned up nothing suspicious on anyone affiliated with the case. Even Weston was lily-white and clean.

Brex planned to schedule a chat with Nick and Aiden and tell them that Clara couldn’t possibly have hurt anyone and get their advice on drawing out the murderer, if there was one. His and Clara’s early morning hikes were the perfect place for the murderer to try to come after him. Yet Clara never took him on hikes with game-ending drop-offs. He would have to research some treacherous hikes close by and insist they do them.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Clara said softly as she studied the river.

Brex’s pulse sped up. Would she tell him she loved him? After three months of knowing each other? Two months dating? It was quick to admit something like that, but he could return the feelings he shouldn’t have been developing. He felt something deep and real with her. It wasn’t elusive and it wouldn’t fade.

Maybe she’d decided not to go on the mission trip so she could spend more time with him while he was in the valley. That was a selfish thought on his part. Maybe she’d ask him to go with her. He could spin it to Nick and the Hendrys as part of his job.

What if she admitted she had in fact murdered her other boyfriends and he was next?

He smiled to himself at how silly his last thought was.

“Anything,” he said, raising their joined hands to his lips and brushing a kiss across her knuckles. “You can tell me anything, Clara.”

She studied him, and the night sizzled with anticipation. He shouldn’t kiss her. Another intense kissing session would only prove how weak he was for her, draw them closer together, and hurt her more in the long run. He should stay in control and solve this case so he could earn the money and move on.

How could he ever move on from Clara? She was the only genuine happiness he’d felt since leaving home at eighteen.

She leaned forward and kissed him passionately. Their connection deepened and he couldn’t find the strength to resist her. She had cracked his shallow exterior wide open and infused her depth and light into him.

He lifted her onto his lap and took the kiss to the next level, kissing her desperately and thoroughly. When they pulled apart, they both gasped for air, and she studied him.

“I know I can tell you anything, Brex,” she said. “I trust you and I’m falling for you.”

Was that what she’d wanted to tell him? She trusted him and was falling for him. He loved those words. He envisioned returning the sentiments and kissing on this bench until the sprinklers turned on, someone came to interrupt them, or the sun rose tomorrow morning.

“But it stinks that you still can’t tell me what your job here is about,” she said.

It did stink, and the reminder of why he was here sobered him. He couldn’t kiss her all night long. He shouldn’t be kissing her at all. He was a phony. He was playing a role, walking a tightrope, and he would hurt this angelic woman either way he fell. The thought of those jade-colored eyes filling with tears and hurt made his muscles all tighten reflexively.

“I wish I could. It’s not that I don’t trust you.”

Clara couldn’t possibly have hurt anyone. He trusted her.

She shouldn’t trust him.

What if he told her the truth? The idea made the cold knot in his chest loosen and the future seem brighter. Clara would understand. They could work together to find who killed her boyfriends.

Could he tell her the truth without the Hendrys’ permission? He’d told Pamela Hendry he was a professional and wouldn’t let his emotions get involved. He hadn’t meant to lie, but he was way past emotions getting involved. Every time he spoke to the Hendrys, Pamela fretted about Brex being killed by Clara. He knew he wasn’t invincible, and he appreciated her concern, but it was misdirected. Clara was genuine and trustworthy.

Why couldn’t he just admit to Clara why he was here?

He studied her genuine, real, full of adoration jade-colored eyes. What if she looked at him with loathing after he admitted the truth? What if she could never forgive him or understand why he’d lied to her? His stomach clenched at the thought of losing her trust and that loving expression.

“It’s that I’ve promised my boss and the client not to share any information,” he explained even as he wondered how to get around it. “Once the case is resolved, I could share some of it with you. I’m sorry, but with my job there will always be things I can’t share.”

That was true, but this job was so much more twisted than a security operative unable to share classified information with his significant other. This job was a nightmare … except for her.

She nodded and slid back onto the bench and off his lap. “I understand. Your job is important … and I still trust you.”

Brex could hardly swallow past his emotion. Clara was trusting and pure. If only he could confide in her and they could solve this case together. If only she wouldn’t be hurt and possibly hate him when she discovered why he was truly here.

She clung to his hand and met his gaze. “I’m still going to tell you my secrets. Even if you can’t tell me yours.”

“I’m not worthy of you, Clara.” Now that was the truth. He was lying to her, and he hated it. How could he have found the right woman for him, an unexpected opposite of the woman he usually dated, and he was hiding far too much from her?

“I know.” She gave him a whimsical smile and a soft kiss and then she said in a rush, “You know about each of my boyfriends dying tragically …” She paused, and he nodded. “I’m convinced they were murdered.”

His eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up. It was an act, and he hated it. Clara was so trusting. She wouldn’t hide anything from him, even if he had to hide too much from her.

“I’m sorry, Clara. That’s terrifying, and losing them must have broken your heart.”

She blinked and then shook her head. “My heart broke for their families. Their deaths were disturbing and awful, but Brex …” She swallowed and then pushed out, “I never cared deeply for any of them like I do for you. I had a lot of fun dating them and enjoyed talking and teasing with them, but there wasn’t this connection, this magnetic pull, this … love.”

She swallowed again and studied him as if certain he’d reject her.

Brex couldn’t catch his breath. She’d said it. The word. He agreed with the connection and magnetism. He needed to be with her and wanted to love her. Was that selfish on his part, or had he finally found a giving and unselfish love?

If only he could spill it all and work through the issues he and this job had created with Clara. When could he? Should he do it now? He felt like his tongue was bound and his hands were tied. He’d taken this job, let himself fall for her, let her fall for him, and now he’d messed it all up. He’d like to see anyone else do better, find the right clues, resist her. No, actually he wouldn’t. He couldn’t stand the thought of Clara in anyone else’s arms.

He needed a heart-to-heart conversation with Nick. He was in over his head. Maybe he wasn’t even cut out for undercover ops like this. Maybe he should quit and just focus on being by Clara’s side. The million dollars gone. His future gone.

Brex studied her, wondering if a future without her was any kind of future at all. For the first time in his adult life, solving the next case, making more money, being successful and appealing to a crowd of famous women didn’t matter. He only wanted to appeal to her.

When he didn’t respond, she leaned back against the bench. “If you don’t feel the same …”

“Clara.”

Don’t do it. Resist. Resist. Don’t hurt her. Don’t mess up this job.

The money wasn’t the motivator any longer, but protecting Clara was. What did he care about money, social status, wearing a Brioni suit, or having a condo on the beach if he couldn’t have Clara? In three months, his vision of what was important had changed. Clara was his anchor; she brought true happiness. Brex had never felt that before, and Clara was worth carving a different future.

Could he tell Aiden and Nick he’d messed it all up? Maybe there was no murderer, but he was going to stay by Clara’s side to protect her. He’d sell his Range Rover and his condo, see if the Jade Valley police force would hire him, or maybe he could do research for Aiden. He was good at research.

The river rushed by and he sat on a park bench in the middle of nowhere. He wasn’t on a red carpet, in some VIP room at a club, or in a box at the Chargers game with a starlet. But he didn’t want to be there. He only wanted to be wherever Clara was.

He couldn’t let Clara think for one more second that he wasn’t gone over her.

Brex swooped her off the bench, against his chest, and held her close. “I have never been so drawn to a woman. Never. It’s too quick, and I know you have to leave for your mission trip and I’ll leave as soon as this case is solved, but I want to have a future with you. Somehow, we have to make it work. I’ve fallen for you, and I don’t ever want to let you go.”

Her eyes softened and grew bright at the same time. Was she about to cry?

She threaded her fingers into his hair and tugged his head down instead.

Their kisses lit up the dark night. Brex could hold her and kiss her all night long.

Eventually, they drew apart and walked back to her house holding hands. Brex felt content and almost giddy. He was going to humble himself, risk his boss and mentor telling him he’d failed, and get some help with this case and advice on how to tell Clara the truth. He would solve the case so he’d be free to love Clara. He had no idea how that would work with his job or hers, but love had to conquer all. It had to.

He’d never had such cheesy and unrealistic thoughts in his life. He didn’t care. Nick and Aiden could make fun of him or fire him. All his old friends and the beautiful women in San Diego could mock him.

All that mattered was Clara.

“Brex,” she said when they reached her front porch. “With your background, resources, and connection to Aiden Porter … could you help me investigate my boyfriends’ deaths?”

His eyes widened again. Did she know? He studied her gorgeous jade eyes and knew that she genuinely wanted his help. She wanted closure just like Malik’s parents did. Well, maybe not just like; Clara wouldn’t accuse someone innocent of killing her boyfriends. This could play into exactly what he was supposed to be doing here, but he couldn’t use Clara like this. How to own up to the truth? Right now he feared if he did, Clara would hate him and he’d mess up the job and her life.

“Your certain the deaths weren’t accidental?” he asked, wondering if this wouldn’t be more of a breakthrough than anything Aiden and Nick could help him with.

“I don’t know for certain, but there were out-of-place sounds and just that feeling that something was wrong or somebody was there when Malik died. I can’t help but think that Kyle’s climbing harness shouldn’t have frayed and ripped like it did. And then the jade stone I found next to each of their bodies…”

He played innocent. “A jade stone?”

“Yeah. I can show you pictures. I gave them to the police.”

He’d seen the stones at the station, inspected them. “Did the police rule the deaths accidental?”

She nodded. “The FBI even got involved last year after Malik died. They didn’t find anything suspicious.”

“So they think the stones were …?”

“They never said, but it can’t be a coincidence. Especially with my eye color and the valley being named after my ancestors because of that eye color. Right?”

Brex nodded. He shook his wrist and glanced at his watch, not even seeing the time. “It seems suspicious. Would you mind if I interviewed you about everything, took notes, and had Aiden’s people do some deep dive research? I can talk to my friends at the police station too. If there was foul play, we should be able to figure it out.”

“You’d do all of that for me?”

“I’d do a lot more than that for you.” He tried to be charming and tease, but his gut was churning. He was doing this to clear Clara’s name and get closure for her and the men’s families, but he was also doing his job. When could he tell her the truth about that?

His muscles tightened, and he feared there would never be a right time. Not if he didn’t want to hurt her, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

“Thank you.” She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Brex got wrapped up in the kiss and prayed he could find the perpetrator and keep Clara in his arms and heart.

It was a tall order for a new security operative who’d never thought anything would be more important than success, money, and social standing. Who’d never fallen in love before.

What was he doing?

With Clara in his arms … he didn’t care about anything else.