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‘They were constantly round with their advice, their offers of friendship, their expertise. And when that didn’t work, the other set came round instead. The trendy mums, the pseudo-intellectual ones who think you can only raise a baby if you’ve read this year’s child-rearing bible.’

‘Iseult.’

‘Yes. Saoirse couldn’t stand it. It got to the point where she wouldn’t leave the house or answer the door.

I had to take her to the clinic or she wouldn’t go.

Then she said it was time to do Seren’s bedroom.

I said, neutral would be nice. Subtle. She asked if I’d been listening to the other women?

I asked what she was on about, she said the in look this year for nurseries was beige and brown.

I said come on then, let’s see what we can find together but she’d got all wound up.

“I’m going on my own” she said, “these are my colours, this is my baby. I just want to get away from this godforsaken nest of whispering hags and choose what I want and not what anyone tells me I should want” and I said “it’s my baby too” and she said “I’ll be the one up at 2am doing the breast- feeding - the nursery is nothing to do with you” and she flung the door open and went out and my last words were “no more bloody blue paint” before she drove off.

So maybe in her last moments, she remembered angry words not loving ones; and I was playing drums at 190 decibels to let out my temper when the most important person in my world was bleeding to death.

I feel so ashamed. I’ve never told anyone. ’

Rose glanced at him, putting her left hand on his knee.

‘Don’t feel ashamed. It was one of those things. But I understand. I wasn’t quite truthful with you. I miss David so much. Some days it’s just in the background, like a soft hum and other times it’s like a drill deafening me. And I feel guilty too. I’ve never stopped feeling guilty.’

‘What for? What happened in Denmark was nothing to do with you. You weren’t even there.’ She paused and sipped her wine.

‘When I told you my last words to him were about plumbing, I was being vague too. It was an argument. We were having one of those cold, nasty, polite fights about nothing. Our shower wasn’t working.

I could have sorted it out all by myself, but I was fed up of him being away.

Fed up of being on my own at home, waiting, endlessly waiting for life to be about me, for someone else to take responsibility.

So I started a row. We argued about who I should call in.

Then I said I wanted a place of our own, only not to tell Simon.

Then David said “Why have we got to keep secrets? Couldn’t we just buy him out then we’d have somewhere big enough for a family?

” and I said “What do you mean?” We’d never talked about that, not once.

And I thought, I can’t bring a family up here, with my parents’ ghosts and then David said “I’ve got to go, there’s something kicking off, get Mick’s brother in to look at the shower,” and I said “I don’t trust Mick’s brother, he never does things properly” and he said “For pity sake Rose, stop arguing, just get him in,” and I said “Stop telling me what to do, I’ve had enough” then there was a lot of shouting in the background and we got cut off.

We didn’t say “Goodbye” or “I love you” or anything.

And then he was dead. If he thought of me when he died, he would have thought ‘She’s had enough’ and while he was dying, I was thinking “I’m so angry, I’m so angry” and slamming cupboard doors. ’

They sat in silence, his hand still twirling her hair, her hand still on his knee.

‘I still miss her,’ Rob said after a while.

‘And I’ll never stop loving her, but it’s different now and one day it’ll be different for you too.

’ He paused. ‘There’s more I haven’t told you, a reason why she loved these colours, a reason why she was being hounded by the Guild.

I should have told you, after you trusted me about Simon and Sky.

I just couldn’t find the words. I’d kept it secret so long.

Until you two came, I thought the way they treated her had all been coincidence.

I thought they were just busy bodies. I didn’t know that they knew, that they’d worked it out. ’

Rose sat up. ‘What? What had they worked out?’

Rob took a deep breath. ‘Saoirse was a shapeshifter too. Human by default, but from a long line of shifters. She was a selkie. She loved the water, swam in the loch or the sea no matter the weather, sometimes human, more often seal. We met at university and when I found out, I thought about the legends from this place. Saoirse couldn’t settle.

She was on edge all the time, wanted to move to the coast, never quite herself wherever she was.

She painted this room to make her think of being underwater.

I just wanted to be out in the air. Pound to a penny, Seren would have been one too but deep down, I wanted her not to be.

I wanted a normal little girl who had to learn to swim with arm bands and was nervous of waves.

I didn’t know anyone in the world knew apart from me, Saoirse and Saoirse’s family. And now it seems the Guild found out.’

‘Tony said something last night. I didn’t understand it.’

‘It wasn’t till last night, I realised they all knew. Those women. And to them, that means I’m a traitor to my own ancestors, to theirs. And I’m sorry, I should have told you.’

‘Don’t be sorry.’

He put his glass down, his right arm felt heavy across her shoulders and he was still twisting a strand of her hair in his fingers.

She could smell his scent, warm, male and his green eyes were like pools drawing her in.

She put her glass down and reached up to move a loose eyelash from his cheek and found herself tracing her finger along his jaw, his beard scratchy, his mouth parted.

His arm drew her closer and his left hand traced her lips, then cupped the back of her head to pull her face against his.

She sank into him, tiny kisses, soft, the upper lip, the lower, the tip of his tongue touched the edges of her mouth, his hand was in her hair and then running down her arm, she opened her mouth and kissed him more deeply, putting her arms around him and pressing herself into him, his chest firm against her softness, his hand on her back, her hand on his head, stroking his hair.

. soft smooth hair, not curled, not wiry …

not David, not David… tears pricked her eyes I can do this , she thought, I can do this, I want to do this, I need to do this…

tears ran from her eyes into her mouth, she could taste the salt along with the sweetness of the wine and taste of Rob…

He pulled away and stopped kissing her, she reached for his mouth but his head was tilted so his forehead was on hers.

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered. ‘It’s too soon, I’m sorry.’

‘No, it’s…’ she started, bu t didn’t know how to finish. Did he mean too soon for her or for himself? He moved so that his chin was on her head, keeping her pressed against him, as her tears soaked into his shirt.

‘It’s too soon and it’s not fair.’ he repeated.

‘I’m… I could…’

‘I want you so much, but not like this, not like this.’

She didn’t let him go.

‘I can’t help it,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry, I want to, I really want to. I think I … but I miss him. I miss him.’

‘I know, I understand,’ Rob sat back and let her head fall on his shoulder.

She had stopped crying, but now she was aware that Rob’s tears were wetting her hair.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said again.

‘Stop saying sorry, it’s just not the right time. I just hope you still fancy me when it is. Assuming you do fancy me.’

Rose made a noise between a sob and a groan. She lifted her head and looked into his face. She still could. They still could.

‘Not like this,’ he repeated, as if reading her mind. ‘Not while it’s just with your body because your heart is still full of tears.’

She reached up and kissed him again, softly, a promise.

‘And,’ he said, pulling her to his chest again and kissing her head, ‘not until I’ve let Saoirse leave this room. Till I’ve made it just mine.’

Rob sat back and reached for his glass.

Rose leant forward, her face burned and she couldn’t make out if it was frustration or shame. She should go. But if she did, how could she come back?

‘Don’t run away,’ Rob said. ‘I think we need each other and besides…’ he took a sip of wine and Rose thought he whispered something into the glass.

‘Besides what?’

‘Besides…’

There was a crash outside.

Rose leapt up.

Rob opened the front door and they ran outside. Simon had driven off the road into her car. Rob wrenched open the door. Simon raised his head from the airbag and shook it .

‘Are you hurt? Are you OK? What were you doing? Have you been drinking?’ Rose gabbled. Simon got out and staggered a little before sitting down on the pavement. She knelt down beside him and tried to hold him. He went to push her off but stood up again, leaning against her.

‘No of course I haven’t been drinking. I’m fine, I must have fallen asleep. I’m fine, stop fussing. Get off,’ he waved his arms vaguely and started wobbling towards the bungalow. Rob came to steady him on the other side. There was no smell of alcohol.

‘Besides,’ Rob continued, as they got Simon indoors together, ‘I think your brother needs both of us.’