Page 45

He dragged her up from the chair and opened the patio door.

‘Come on, I’ve been stuck inside cars and ferries for what feels like a year, and you’ve been stuck in here with the past for what probably feels like a hundred.

’ He scanned the out of date furniture, the wedding photograph, the laptop. ‘Let’s get some fresh air.’

They clambered in silence up the meadow to the edge of the trees.

‘Any you feel like climbing?’ He paused and poked about at the edge of the fence and then spotting something tucked into the roots, pulled out a pair of leggings and a teeshirt .

‘Oh bugger, I’d forgotten I’d left them there.’

Rob handed them over slowly. ‘And the other thing you need to tell me is…’

‘Even less believable.’

Rob looked into the trees through the fence. There might have been movement, it was hard to tell. ‘Mind if I guess?’

‘I doubt you can.’

‘You left those clothes for someone to put on. So my question would be: Is that a wolf watching us from the undergrowth? Or is it a wolf who is sometimes a young woman? Or is it a young woman who is sometimes a wolf?’

‘How did you work that out? Did you see her?’

‘I think I worked it out while I was away, I just hadn’t realised it till this moment.’

‘I don’t believe you.’

‘I believe you . Why can’t you believe me ?’

‘It’s all so incredible and you’re being so calm.’

He shrugged, his face neutral. ‘Does it bother you when she turns up as a wolf?’

‘She’s not dangerous. Odd but not dangerous.’

‘But Simon is dangerous.’

‘Yes. Andrew’s scientific team is working on a cure. Only, Simon’s getting sicker. It’s degenerative. It’s..’

Rob separated one of her hands from the clothes and held it, pulling her close.

She raised her head and kissed him. She sank into him. He tasted of salted caramel. There were crumbs on his lips.

There was a snort in the undergrowth behind the fence and Rose pulled away and blinked.

‘If you’d wanted another biscuit, you could have asked,’ said Rob. ‘You didn’t have to try and take one from my mouth.’ He grinned, stepping back but keeping hold of her hand.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Rose mumbled.

‘Why? Was it that awful? I quite enjoyed it.’

The creature in the trees snuffled again. Rose turned and glared. If it was Sky, she could mind her own business.

‘I didn’t mean to… I-’

‘Come on, we need to get back and do something practical,’ said Rob, starting back down the hill.

Rose felt as if her face was on fire. What had she been thinking?

He was just being kind. He was just being friendly and she’d kissed him.

Not just a light peck but as if she was planning to seduce him on the spot.

She tried to withdraw her hand but he held it tight and swung it slightly. He was grinning.

Did he just simply think she was mad and thought it was easier to go along with it than argue? He couldn’t have misunderstood the film footage though. Surely. And then she’d kissed him. And then what did he mean about doing something practical?

As if he was reading her thoughts, he let go of her hand and stopped to turn her to face him

‘Have you ever told anyone else all of this?’

‘No. They would think I’m totally insane. You must…’

‘Thanks for trusting me. I feel honoured.’

‘Honoured that I’d share my delusions?’

‘Don’t you think I believe you?’

‘How can you? Why should you?’

Rob swept his arm round the country. Below them, the two bungalows faced each other across the road as if they were gossiping neighbours leaning on a fence.

Behind them and to either side, the forested mountain curved and dominated, its head in low clouds.

The glen ran away from them to the near but invisible sea.

Under their feet, the meadow grass was damp but the ground still summer-hard.

The sky was still glowering, not making any promises.

It seemed as if they were looking at the whole world and they were the only people in it.

It no longer seemed to hem her in. Not as much.

Rose felt his hand in hers, remembered the taste of his soft mouth, the beating of his heart quickening against hers, the scent of his aftershave.

Had she imagined that moment when he pulled her closer, before she stepped away?

‘I come from an old town in an old country,’ said Rob, ‘and there are more old stories around here than you can imagine. I grew up with them. Just because something’s unlikely doesn’t make it impossible. Besides…’

‘Besides what?’

He opened his mouth and shut it again, then, ‘Besides, there must be something behind all those old legends and stories.’

‘Simon said that.’ They continued down the slope. ‘He mentioned selkies.’

‘What did he say?’

‘That those old stories might be true. People changing from one species to another until they settled down as one. I wondered how they’d adapt.

Sky said… it was really sad. She said her mother shifted permanently and went away.

She said she’s dead. And her brother was the only other shifter in the pack and he’s dead too. She’s on her own.’

‘Caught between two realities.’ Rob face had sobered. He turned to look up at the trees.

‘Mmm,’ said Rose. ‘I said I’d prefer to be a wolf as it seems simpler. She said I’d make a terrible wolf because I don’t understand how a pack works.’

‘You don’t need to, you’re human. She can’t understand music.’

‘She can when she’s human. That song I composed, that was the first time I’d picked up the cello since David died. It was the first day I met Sky. First time I met Emmeline and Hester come to that, but I’d rather not think of them as muses. And you. It was the first time I’d met you.’

‘That’s what I mean about doing something practical. I play music to process things, don’t you? Although right now, I need to unpack first. But you’ve got no excuse apart from some painting to avoid, so you might as well be composing instead. Or wasn’t that what you thought I meant?’

Rose felt her cheeks flush again. Rob laughed.

‘I wasn’t sure,’ she said with dignity. ‘I thought you might have meant you were offering to help me decorate or something.’

Rob made a noise which could have been assent or disparagement or a snigger. Impossible to tell either way.

Rose decided to change the subject. ‘I went to a talk at the Guild the other week. Feels like a month ago, but it was only a fortnight.’

‘What recipes did they have on offer?’

‘I don’t know, I didn’t stay till the end. But Iseult was giving some kind of pep talk and she covered the history of the town. She mentioned shapeshifters.’

‘Did she now?’ Rob let go of her hand and ushered her back as if he was a footman, through the patio door.

‘Do you know her? Of course you do, she said she grew up here too.’

‘She was plain Izzy at school. No one dared called her Iseult if they didn’t want a punch. You didn’t mess with Izzy Straun.’

‘She’s Hester’s sister? Surely not?’ Impossible to imagine Coira Straun producing those two women .

‘Cousin. Everyone’s related, going back a very very long way.

Me too, somewhere in the distant past. Izzy’s mother Cynthia married Hester’s uncle when she was very young.

My mother said she never understood why anyone would marry someone who made most girls’ skin crawl.

But she did. They were married a long time.

Then he died. A few months later, Cynthia had a baby and names it, of all things, Iseult.

Then a few months or so after that, Cynthia married some outsider.

When I say outsider, I mean his ancestors are mouldering away about ten miles down the road.

But he was a bit more forward thinking than most people round here used to be, very well educated, literary specialist. He and Izzy were really close from the beginning.

People thought it was amazing how they’d even got to look like each other and then. ..’

He raised his eyebrows.

‘A step-father and step-daughter got to look like each other.’

‘Uh-huh. People noticed. The family moved away.’

‘Do you mean what I think you mean?’

Rob put on a face of innocence. ‘Moi?’

‘I bet Emmeline wasn’t impressed.’

‘Especially as Cynthia was her sister.’

‘No really?’

‘Izzy is Emmeline’s niece. They can’t stand each other, so people say. Not sure myself.’

‘Iseult’s asked me to join her book club. She seemed like one of the few women around here with a sense of humour and sense of individuality.’

‘Well that’s for sure. Her husband’s nice. He can’t stand the Guild either. Doesn’t want her involved.’

‘But she seems like a leading light.’

‘Like I said, you couldn’t push her around when she was little. Pretty sure you can’t now. She’ll do her own thing to suit her own agenda. But…’

‘You don’t think I should get involved.’

‘Rose,’ Rob scratched his face, ‘you’re a grown woman with a mind of your own.

Although it’s a bit of a strange mind and I suspect you’ll overthink anything I say and assume I’m trying some reverse or double reverse psychology.

So all I’m saying is I think you could do with some friends, but be careful whom you trust. Where are yours from before you moved by the way? ’

‘Allergic to bereavement. ’

‘Well then they weren’t real friends and they’re no loss, so maybe see if you can choose the next ones better eh?

Anyway, it’s no good me telling you what to do.

’ Rob pointed at the TV. ‘As someone who is your friend whether you want me or not, I think you should destroy those bits of film for your own good.’

‘Sky said something similar. But I…’

Rose felt tears rise but said nothing. She remembered the taste of Rob’s kiss. He had kissed her back hadn’t he? Should she feel ashamed? She glanced at the wedding photograph.

Rob put his arms round her and hugged her, not close, but softly.

‘It’s OK, Rose. It’s OK,’ he said into her hair. ‘I understand. Don’t you think I felt the same about Saoirse? People tell you how you should feel but it’s not that simple. There’s no timetable for grief is there?’

‘No. It attacks then hides.’

‘It does. One day you think you’ve escaped it and then it sneaks up and ambushes you. It’s like being in a boat without oars or sail or motor. You just have to let yourself float, believing you will get to the shore one day.’

‘Is that why there are no photographs of Saoirse about your place?’

‘Well, let’s be honest, most of the photographs are digital. I locked the others away. Maybe I should put one up again. It was just… for a while… I couldn’t bear to see her and know I’d let her down.’

‘You didn’t let her down.’

‘No, and nor did you let David down. But right now, that’s how you feel. Now, seeing him die, seeing Simon degenerate, those things won’t help you heal.’

Rob let her go and ruffled her hair. The need to cry had ebbed a little and she drew in a breath to steady her voice.

‘I’m off to unpack now and prepare lessons for next week,’ said Rob. ‘Don’t forget we’ve got band practice tomorrow evening.’

‘I don’t know if I…’

‘Yes you do and if I thought you’d do what I told you, I’d say, pick your cello up now and play the feelings you can’t express and maybe come over later and we can make sweet music together. And I mean music.’

‘Yes but…’ the memory of his lips burned on her own and she glanced at the wedding photograph again. ‘I’m so em barrassed.’

‘Don’t be, I’m used to it, being irresistible. Mad women kiss me all the time. You’re only human after all,’ then he winked. ‘And round here at the moment, it’s just as well someone is.’