Page 36 of The Hood’s Finest: Jersey & Mylani

Tasha

I stayed back at the hotel room while Shanna went to the house and got the door fixed.

I needed this time to reflect on my life.

My family didn’t want to be bothered with me.

Shanna only put up with me when it was necessary or convenient for her.

My mom let her boyfriend dictate her relationship with her children, so turning to her was out of the question.

Any time I had a boyfriend, they ended up being no good, and we eventually broke up.

Eric was different, though. He actually seemed genuine in the way he cared for me.

That was until drugs and abuse came into play.

It was like I couldn’t win for losing, and I was tired.

I was tired of living like this. I only saw one way out, and I was taking it.

I called my mom, and she didn’t answer the phone, so I hung up.

Next, I called Shanna, and of course she didn’t answer either.

I took everyone ignoring me as a sign. I got up from the bed and got my medication from my purse and went into the bathroom.

I stared at myself in the mirror and didn’t even recognize myself.

How did I get here? What did I do to end up here?

I tried my best to treat people the way I wanted to be treated, yet I was treated as a nuisance.

It was so bad that my nephew didn’t even want to be bothered with me.

As the tears trailed down my cheeks, I peeled out of my clothes.

Walking over to the tub, I ran the water until it was full.

I looked at the pill bottle in my hand, and for a second, I was reconsidering my plan, but then I quickly realized that I was better off this way.

I slipped inside the tub and leaned my head back against the shower wall.

I was having an eternal battle within myself.

I knew I shouldn’t be doing this, but what other options did I have?

The way I saw it, this was the only way.

I picked the bottle back up and emptied the remaining pills into my hand.

Staring at the pills, I tossed half in my mouth and grabbed the water bottle and swallowed to help them go down.

Taking a deep breath, I tossed the remaining in my mouth and chased them with the water.

Because of the amount I consumed, it didn’t take long for the effects to take place.

I was at peace with my decision. Taking solace in that, I slid down into the water, and before I knew it, all my troubles were over.