Page 23 of The Healer and the Wolf, Part One

23

VANESSA

“ I can’t believe we’re about to raid a medical facility tomorrow,” I mused, staring up at the stars as they twinkled in the endless depths of the obsidian sky, little specks of glimmering gossamer tucked safely in an infinite blanket of finest velvet.

Unlike with Chadwicke, when I’d had a week of research and nearly a week of hands-on gardening, I’d only had three days to get all the information I could about the building. It wasn’t nearly enough, but there was a whole lot more information online about a paparazzi darling and career criminal than a nondescript, no-account building nobody looked twice at.

Well, except the animal rights activists who regularly protested it.

“You don’t have to come,” Leo said softly from beside me. We were sitting on the greenhouse steps, enjoying the cool night air. “In fact, it would probably be safer if you didn’t.”

“I know, but if I don’t come, who’s going to drive the getaway car? Even two wolf shifters at full speed can’t maintain eighty miles an hour for long enough to ensure no one follows us back here.”

“True. Do you have the fake license plates America gave us?”

“All twenty of them.”

Leo let out one of those small chuckles I adored so much. “She went a little overboard with that, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, but there are worse things to be burdened with. For what it’s worth, I like her.”

“I liked her, too. She seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, and I’m glad she’s back with her family. Another wrong caused by the brothers has been righted.”

“I’m with you on that.”

We sank into a companionable silence for a while. Leo was probably thinking about his pack, who, if anyone, he would find at the medical center. Perhaps it would even be Atticus. Meanwhile, I was wondering what would happen to me when he reunited with more of his pack.

I was running out of food, and it would only be a matter of time until I ran out of money, even with the incredible boon of all that free compost and the extra money from my singular week of gardening. Thank God for an early direct deposit into the prepaid card. I’d set it up because cashing a check not made out to my legal name would be a bitch, and I’d given the details to Valencia almost as soon as I’d started. A good thing since I was pretty sure there was no one left at the estate to issue a check anyway.

The sleeping arrangements were also an issue. Another smaller shifter could maybe sleep on the other end of the sofa with Ricky, and one could try sitting upright in my loveseat, but that was it. Leo and I had my bed, and there simply wasn’t room for anyone else.

So, what then? Would they all have to move on? Find a place that fit their growing family? Wait, growing family wasn’t accurate— restored family. I was the interloper here. I was the one who had come in and forged a connection with their alpha.

A connection I didn’t really have a name for.

We weren’t together . We hadn’t uttered so much as an ‘I like you’ let alone an ‘I love you’. Yes, we had hooked up, and the sex had been incredible , but that didn’t mean we were in a relationship. Hell, wolf shifters might all sleep together interchangeably. Kind of like the entire art department of my old college.

We were friends, I knew that much, and I cared deeply for Leo. Perhaps I was putting words into his mouth, but it seemed like he also cared deeply for me. But just because we felt that way for each other didn’t mean it was love.

It also didn’t necessarily mean it wasn’t love.

Ugh, why did life have to be so complicated sometimes?

“What’s wrong?” Leo asked, voice low and soothing. The man would have a real knack for narrating books. I could listen to him talk about literally anything for hours and be happy about it.

“Just thinking about the future.”

“I smell a lot of anxiety. Are you afraid?”

Sometimes I forgot just how intense that shifter nose of his was. “No, not afraid. Worried, yes. Just wondering where I’m going to fit into all of this.”

“What do you mean?”

Although it made me feel quite vulnerable, I decided to go with the truth. Because if I was going to make such a big mental deal about trusting Leo, then I needed to actually trust Leo and be honest with my feelings.

“We’re doing this to get your life back with your pack, right? To get all your lives back, and to get justice. I love having you here, but my house is too small for many more of you, and the ultimate goal is your whole community. Eventually, you’ll all need to move on, won’t you?”

My voice didn’t wobble. Well, maybe a little at the end, but no one could blame me for that. I wasn’t really sure what I was expecting Leo to say or do, but I didn’t expect him to turn fully toward me and take my hands.

He had magnificent hands. Big and strong. Tanned and warm. Covered in thick veins that made me think of things that had heat pooling in my belly.

“Vanessa.” Oh, we were using full names, were we? He definitely was being serious, then. “If you want us gone, if we have brought too much inconvenience to your life, say the word and we’ll go. But until you utter those words, I am here at your side. I owe you my life. Ricky owes you his life. And if we get the rest of my pack back, they will owe their lives. You’ve saved us so many times over, I’ll never be able to repay you.”

As usual, whenever Leo got serious, my stomach flipped. He just had that natural gravitas to him. I was certain he wasn’t even aware of it. But at the same time, something in his words didn’t sit right with me.

“I don’t want you to stay here because you feel indebted to me.” That small, very insecure voice in the back of my head screamed, yes, you do ! I would take any reason for him sticking around as long as he didn’t go. But no, I had worked really hard for a long time to be better than that tiny voice. I was worth having people who were enthusiastic and happy to be around me.

“It’s not that I feel indebted to you, it’s that I am. But even if I weren’t, I would beg to stay by your side as long as you would have me. If you want to go back to a more normal life, if I’ve brought too much pain and stress to your home, if I scared you too much at the estate, I’ll leave. But please believe me when I say that Earth itself could crack in two and I would still find a way to be beside you.”

Was I breathing? It didn’t feel like I was breathing.

“Y-you can’t mean that,” I sputtered. Those words weren’t just pledges of loyalty. Those words were romantic . Words that would be said to a lover, a soul mate, not just a friend.

Leo was leaning forward, gazing so deeply into my eyes it was almost as if he was looking right into the very heart of me. I wanted to ask him what he saw, and if it was the same lonely, often cowardly girl I so often saw in the mirror.

The girl that had been so scared to be proactive about anything in her own life, she’d ended up killing her own mother.

How could he possibly mean those words to a girl like that?

“I do mean that. I mean it with all my heart. I want you to know you are under no obligation to feel the same. I showed up in your life and dragged you into all of this. You’ve been nothing but a saint, and I have truly fallen in love with your kindness. You make me want to be a better man, even when the wolf that presided over me for so long once thinks that a civilized man shouldn’t.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Surely, I was hallucinating or dreaming. There was no way on earth Leo loved me . I was a nobody. A grocery store clerk and college dropout. An orphaned, social recluse. Leo was a capable warrior and experienced alpha who had overcome impossible hardships and was reuniting his people. What could he possibly see in me?

“You love me?” I squeaked. God, I sounded so stupid, but I couldn’t help it. Finding out he had true romantic feelings for me felt as shocking as discovering the existence of shifters. It went against everything I was taught to believe.

“I do. I know it’s fast, and I accept you may not feel the same, but this connection between us is real. I never want to lose it. No matter what happens at the medical facility or with any other warlocks we encounter, I want you in my life. If you’ll have me.”

I had no idea what to say. I wasn’t the type of girl who got the whirlwind romance with Prince Charming. I was a background character. And yet the way Leo was looking at me, the way he gently squeezed my hands, told me he was absolutely speaking his truth.

Oh, my God.

I wrenched my hands out of his only to throw my arms around his neck. If I was strong enough to fuse the two of us together, I would. I wanted to say something equally romantic, but my throat was thick with emotion, and tears stung my eyes. If I was indeed dreaming, I never wanted to wake up. The man I had been falling in love with loved me. Me! It felt too good to be true, and yet when I pulled back, he was staring at me with that same fond expression.

“I don’t want you to leave,” I admitted when I finally could speak. “I know it’s not viable for all of you to stay here, but I don’t want to go back to a life without you. I am falling in love with you, and I really want to see where we could go.”

Leo dipped his head and captured my lips in a kiss. It was tender, gentle, whispering of mutual affection and a whole lot of relief. I almost giggled into it, my body quite racked with giddiness that I had somehow found the love of my life.

Well, I was probably getting ahead of myself. We’d technically only just asked each other out. Still, the connection between us was like nothing I’d ever experienced in my entire life, and knowing that he was just as transfixed by me? It seemed impossible, but it made me want to jump with joy.

When we broke apart, Leo’s pupils were blown wide into two earnest pools of desire. Heat flooded through me in response.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I asked, still trying to stifle a giggle.

“I absolutely am.”

Leo took my hand, and we half-ran, half-skipped up to the house. It was completely silly, but sometimes it was nice to be silly with a lover.

I shook my head. Leo was my lover now. Officially. Sure, maybe we hadn’t talked outright labels like boyfriend and girlfriend—or mates, like shifters called it—but that didn’t matter. We were on the same page.

“Hey,” Ricky said around a mouthful of garlic noodles and sauteed spinach. Unfortunately, I was completely out of protein, but he didn’t seem to mind carb-loading. Even though it had only been three days, he was already doing miles better. “You two seem awfully chipper.”

“It’s a good night,” Leo said, barely keeping a straight face. “Why don’t you go for a bit of a walk around the garden? Maybe check out the trail in the woods? You know, stretch your legs.”

Jeez, could he be more obvious?.

Ricky looked a little perplexed, then tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. Then it clicked. A slow, knowing smile spread across his lips, and he let out a sharp bark of laughter.

“Now that you mention it, it is a beautiful night. I think I might go stargazing for…” He squinted at us, and I couldn’t believe that I was seeing a live rendition of wolf bros being wolf bros. “An hour?”

“Two hours.”

“Right. Two hours. That’s what I meant. Who knows? If I have a sudden spurt of energy, maybe I’ll do some hunting. Take care of dinner for tomorrow.”

“That would be great,” Leo said.

“Righty-o. I’ll get on that.” Whistling, Ricky sauntered out, taking his bowl with him.

“He totally knows we’re going to bang,” I said once he was a good distance away from the house. My face was flaming, but it was also kind of fun. I’d never really gotten a chance for silly and covert trysts. I either didn’t have the right connection with someone, or I was too overworked, or too busy trying to study to make it through a program that wasn’t designed for me.

“Yeah, but does that really matter?”

“No, I suppose not.”

“Good.” Leo pulled me into another kiss. “We wolf shifters do tend to be a bit less prudish about this stuff than what I know about human culture.”

I expected him to pull me toward the bedroom, but instead, he leaned into me. I had to take a step back to steady myself, but with every step I took, he continued to crowd me until my rear was pressed upright against the kitchen table.

“What are you doing, Leo?” I asked, a thrill rushing through me.

“What do you mean?” he asked coyly, salaciously. “This is where we eat delicious meals, is it not?”

I felt myself go from bright red to outright crimson as I got what he was implying. “Leo! Not here.”

“Why not?”

God, it wasn’t fair that his voice sounded like pure honey and sin. He brought out desires in me I never even knew were on my radar, and although it was kind of intimidating, it was so damn exhilarating.

“This is where we eat.”

“I’ll clean and sanitize it thoroughly later, I promise.”

“B-but?—”

Leo caught my chin and tipped it up, so our gazes locked. “Ven, if you don’t want to do this, that’s perfectly fine. But if you’re worried about propriety, or if you’re nervous, trust me when I say I’ve been dreaming about fucking you on this table since you first served me ramen here.”

My breath hitched, and a tiny gasp punched its way out of my throat. “All the way since then?”

“All the way since then. You’re a force of nature, Ven, and I’ve been caught up in you ever since I’ve known who I was.”

Holy shit, did he have any idea what he was saying? He had to. And I knew he also had to hear the way my heart was thundering in my chest. That whole time, and I’d had no idea? Sure, I’d felt drawn to him, and that first night in the shower had been so intensely intimate, I’d wanted to weep, but knowing that he had been desiring me, yearning for me for so long... It certainly did things for me.

I kissed him, hoping my lips could communicate with him since words were failing me. Thankfully, it seemed to work. Leo let out a satisfied groan as his hands gripped my ass. The next thing I knew, he picked me up and put me on the table.

A flash of insecurity rushed through me. Oh, God, what if the table collapsed under my weight? But that thought went right out of my mind when Leo filled the space between my legs, crowding me as his hands slipped up my spine, caging me in against him.

Not that I wanted to escape. I was right where I wanted to be.

“There you are,” Leo practically purred, his lips ghosting over mine but never staying, instead drifting in a slant across my cheek, then down my neck, his teeth grazing my skin ever so slightly. I knew what those teeth were capable of, and apparently that thrilled me even more.

Huh, I was always learning things about myself, wasn’t I?

The hard length of him pressed against my center, heat radiating from his pants. Now, that was thrilling in an entirely different way, and the urge to cant my hips against it was immense. But I couldn’t quite get the right angle, so I moved my hands to his hips and tugged him closer.

“Eager,” Leo rumbled into the side of my neck.

“For you? Always.”

That broke the infinite patience Leo had when torturing me, and suddenly, he was pushing my long skirt up to my waist. I hadn’t chosen it that morning with such intent in mind but, boy, was I pleased about how it was all working out.

“God, you smell delicious, ” he said, sending goosebumps up along my arms. “Just want to eat you.”

“You can,” I murmured, surprised at my own chutzpah .

Leo seemed delighted by it, one of those indulgent grins spreading across his features. “Well, if you insist…”

“Wait, I didn’t… you don’t have?—”

But he was already kneeling between my legs. It was like time stretched out for a minute as I watched the ridiculously attractive man arrange himself comfortably. Was this really my life?

And there was also a slight trickle of guilt within me. With what few relationships I’d had, blow jobs were definitely more the norm while having my partner go down was more of a special occasion thing. But it certainly wasn’t that way with Leo. His impressive appetite expanded to eating things beyond food. I would definitely even the score if we managed to survive our next crazy plan.

My mind went blank as he draped my legs over his shoulders and kissed me through my underwear. I gasped at the sharp contrast of his featherlight kiss and him manhandling me. My legs were probably the densest, heaviest part of me, layered with very capable muscles I was pretty proud of. Even in the insanely anorexic inducing nineties, I’d always been proud of the thickness and power of my thighs. My calves were not that bad, either, if I did say so myself.

But Leo didn’t act as if they were heavy at all. They probably weren’t to him. It was so utterly fascinating to me just how strong shifters were naturally. And by fascinating I meant really fucking hot.

Eh, whatever. A strength kink wasn’t anything to be ashamed of.

“Hold on however you need,” Leo said. “Your only job is not to fall off this table.”

“I don’t really think that?—”

But then, I heard a rip of fabric as he tore my panties off, and then his mouth was on me. Fuck, I really did need to hold on to something.

Leo switched up the pressure, warming areas up to more direct touch, changing the shape of his tongue to make everything feel brand-new all over again. At first, I tried gripping the table, but the pleasure radiating out from my core was just too much. I didn’t know if I wanted to press harder into it or scramble away. It was so fucking good.

I twined my hands into his hair, gripping tightly as my hips moved against his mouth. My past partners would have freaked out if I did that, but the rumble from Leo’s chest and his increased vigor told me he liked it very much.

It didn’t take long for those first telltale signs of a climax to begin traveling up and down my spine. No one had ever brought me so close to the edge. I didn’t know if it was his enhanced wolf senses that let him read my body so well, or if it was just all him , but whatever it was, I was so fucking grateful.

The leg shaking was only a couple of minutes behind, and then it was almost too much. Dizzy with pleasure, I feebly tried to push him away, but his grip on my legs tightened, stopping any sort of retreat.

“Lay back, baby,” he said.

God, I loved the way he sounded—half-animalistic, and yet completely in control. It was like a promise that he would show me things I’d never thought possible, that a girl like me could never do, but I would be safe the entire time. “Lay back and let me make you feel good.”

I did. The table was cool against my back, but my body was so hot with desire I barely noticed. I was wound tightly with it, ready to pop at any moment.

Leo used the new position to somehow press his face even further into me. I pulled at his hair, holding onto his head like it was my last lifeline. He didn’t object—I had a feeling Leo enjoyed my nails digging into his scalp.

My orgasm hit with such a force, I couldn’t even breathe. I arched off the table, my muscles clenching so tightly, I was sure I’d snap in two. Pure, unadulterated ecstasy flowed through every cell of my body, erasing all my troubles, all my worries. I knew it would all be back sooner than later, but for the moment, I basked in the bliss.

A girl really could get used to this.