Page 46 of The Governess’ Unlikely Suitor (The Dashworth Brothers #2)

E dward stared at the brandy, the golden liquid glinting in the candlelight.

White’s was quiet this evening and he’d managed to find a quiet spot to drink.

He’d contemplated getting blind drunk, but he couldn’t help but picture the poor woman from this morning, her pale body lying amongst those ragged sheets and her sons’ large eyes looking up at him with hope he might have the answer to their problems.

For the briefest of moments, he’d thought he might have too.

In the carriage ride back to Glanmore House, he’d foolishly allowed himself to dream of a future full of happiness, not a grand one, not anything exciting like forging a life in a foreign country, but a good one nonetheless.

He’d imagined asking Kate to marry him, of her being thrilled and agreeing.

Somewhere between the rough streets of the boys’ home and his brother’s grand house, he’d pictured raising Pete and Silas with Kate.

He hadn’t even begun to think of the logistics of it, they had a mother they loved, after all, but it had been a sweet, simple daydream he was incredibly glad he had not shared.

She did not want to get married. She wanted to work.

And he could not even blame her; her idea was a worthy one.

It would give her purpose and personal satisfaction and she would make an impact on very many lives.

And he would go on… doing nothing very much.

Oh, he’d probably invest, probably get richer and older but where would his passion go?

What would he have achieved by the end of his life?

He knocked back the remains of his drink and pushed himself to his feet.

He was getting maudlin and that was no good.

He’d been out long enough to give credence to his lie he’d had an invitation somewhere this evening.

Now he could return to Glanmore House and what…

avoid Kate Hornel for however long she stayed?

That wasn’t going to work either. His heart was heavy with the loss she didn’t even realise she had caused.

At least he knew the answer to his question now: he did love her.

The problem was he had already lost her.

But he had to let her go; he recognised that.

She would never see them as equals if she was still dependent on him and that had to change.

Like it or not, and he very much did not, Kate would be leaving Glanmore House.