Page 36 of The Governess’ Unlikely Suitor (The Dashworth Brothers #2)

T he neckline of Kate’s dusky pink day dress rubbed against her skin.

She scratched at it as Mr Smythe told her all about his family’s latest investment.

It wasn’t that she didn’t find wheat production interesting…

well, actually that was exactly it. It was hard to concentrate on what the man was saying when the topic was not as compelling as the man clearly believed.

Perhaps if he had asked her one question about herself before his eternal monologue, she may have been able to concentrate better, but as it was, she could not.

The afternoon had seen a steady flow of visitors at Glanmore House—male ones, who were supposedly interested in her and not, as Emily kept reassuring her, the vastly ridiculous dowry.

Most were men who were wealthy in their own right and who seemed to find her an interesting prospect, perhaps because of her lofty connection with the duke or maybe because she was new but not young like a debutante fresh out of the schoolroom.

It was almost impossible to believe that having existed in the shadows for such a long time, she was supposed to stand in the light and be paraded around like a prize mare at a cattle fayre.

After the first gentleman caller, the men had all blurred into one, an awful realisation she would keep to herself.

At first she had tried to keep track, but very few of them asked her questions about herself.

Alexander Wright had attended but had proven himself to be rather churlish once he had realised he had heavy competition.

If she had been interested in him as a potential husband, his display of childish petulance would have put her off.

Not one of them made her heart race in the way Edward did.

It was hard to keep at bay the niggling thought that if she were a governess, barely any of these men would acknowledge her presence in a room.

Those who would have noticed her in her previous role were not the type of men she would want to encourage.

She said as much to Emily during a quieter moment.

‘Try not to overthink this,’ the countess replied. ‘Some of the men might be full of their own self-worth, but they are here because they are interested in you; that is a heady compliment. Enjoy the moment. Not all of us get to experience it.’

‘I do not mean to sound ungrateful,’ she rushed to reassure Emily.

‘I know and I understand what you are saying. Even if not a single man today takes your fancy, then this time is still not a waste. It might help you decide what you do want and, in years to come, you can remember the time when the men of the Ton were at your feet.’

‘I would not go that far.’

Emily smiled softly, reaching for her cup of tea. ‘Perhaps not, but have you not found it even a little bit enjoyable?’

‘I think I would like it better if the men showed more interest in getting to know me, but for the most part, they ask a few questions about where my father was a vicar before moving on to talk about themselves.’

‘But has it helped you think about what sort of man you would like? Perhaps someone serious but kind? Or a man who has proven himself as someone who cares for young children.’ Emily was looking at her strangely, but Kate had not met a single man like that during the long afternoon.

‘I am afraid it has made me think I do not want to get married at all.’ She had been mulling this thought around in her head for a while now and as the afternoon had passed, it had only become stronger.

‘Oh.’ Emily slumped in her chair, before straightening. ‘Well, that is a shame, but there are more men to come; perhaps one of them will change your mind.’

Kate doubted it. Although she could not clearly remember each individual man she had spoken to this afternoon, she had the impression that not one of them would welcome the idea of being wed to someone who did not want to be a Society wife.

Even after thinking about it for a long time, she still wasn’t sure exactly what she wanted for her future, but these weeks at Glanmore House had shown her that she did not enjoy being idle.

She missed being around children and watching them grow and learn.

It was perhaps unfair of her to judge without asking, but she was under the impression that each man who had visited her would expect her to produce babies and then hand them over to someone else to raise.

It would kill her to live in this way. No, she needed a better plan for her life; she just had to decide on what it would be.

There was no time to discuss it with Emily, however, as Sutton announced a Mr Philpot and the whole rigmarole started again.