Page 34 of The Governess’ Unlikely Suitor (The Dashworth Brothers #2)

E dward stared at the closed door, his whole body shaking, urging him to run after Kate, to beg, plead for more time, to pull them both to the floor and to carry on where they had left off. He did none of those things.

He’d been the one to stop their kiss, too, despite never wanting it to end.

No matter what his body wanted, his mind was still in control, or at least it had been.

He’d realised that the longer they continued, the less grip he would have held on reality.

He would have wanted more, would have tried to coax it out of her with touches she was not ready for.

Kate had made it very clear what she wanted from him.

It hadn’t been a proper kiss for her; it had been to take away a bad memory and replace it with something else.

It was better that he had found out the terms before the kiss; that way he would not be hurt later on.

Perhaps she had wanted something sweet and gentle.

At least, that’s what he’d been intending to do for her.

Their kiss had started off like that, but as soon as he’d got a taste of her, his blood had quickened.

Everything had become hot and desperate.

For someone who had never been kissed before, she had caught on quickly, responding to him as if every move he made was exactly what she wanted from him.

He pressed his palms to his forehead and groaned, willing his body to come back under control.

He needed to be able to walk out of here and put some much-needed space between himself and this room.

Bumping into someone in his current state would not be good; these pantaloons were like a second skin and left nothing to the imagination.

If only he could think of something else, anything else, for a few minutes, he should be able to get up, but his body was still waiting hopefully for her return, even though his mind had accepted it was not going to happen.

When she’d asked if she could kiss him, he had been shocked, not so much by the request but because he’d had no warning a kiss might be something she’d want from him.

A few times he’d thought she might experience some sort of desire for him.

During a couple of the more recent pianoforte lessons, he had noticed the way she glanced frequently at his hands and the waltz they had shared in this room had suggested she wasn’t completely immune to him.

But he had tried not to dwell on it too much.

He was still of the mind that he did not want to be the type of man who took advantage of those who depended on him or his family.

Even with that sound principle in mind, there was no way in hell he was going to deny her request once she had made it.

He’d wanted to be sure of her motive. As much as he wanted her, the only thing that would have stopped him was if her request was part of some sort of weird obligation over the way he had helped her yesterday evening.

Not that he’d done much. He’d managed to stop her having to speak to her former employer and let her talk about it without judgement.

But his support might have been enough for her to think she somehow owed him.

She’d made it abundantly clear she wanted to use him to block out a horrible memory.

He had no idea if she would have chosen anyone else had they happened to be in this room.

He hoped not. She’d certainly looked appalled when he had mentioned kissing Christopher, but he could not decide if his understanding of her expression was wishful thinking on his part; perhaps he had only imagined her reaction because it was what he wanted from her.

The door clicked open and his head whipped up, his heart pounding, only for him to sag back into his seat. It was not Kate returning but something much worse: his younger brother.

‘What the hell happened to you?’ demanded Christopher.

‘Nothing.’

‘You look like you’ve been in a fight—’ his gaze raked over Edward ‘—or…’ His eyes widened, an irritating grin spreading across his face.

‘Yes, I think it is much more likely to be that. But with who?’ He tapped his chin with one finger, clearly enjoying himself immensely.

‘You came back here with us last night, but you have clearly not been to bed. You are too honourable to dally with a servant after what happened with your maid all those years ago, and Emily is married to our beloved brother, which only leaves one person…’ Christopher waggled his eyebrows.

‘Do not be absurd.’

Christopher had the nerve to laugh. ‘Oh, come on. Your hair is rumpled, your cravat crushed. You looked up like an eager puppy when I walked in the door and then immediately slumped back down into a disappointed pout.’

‘I do not resemble a farmyard animal.’

Christopher ignored him. ‘You and the lovely Miss Hornel have been taking your relationship a step further. Not as far as you would like if the scowl on your face is anything to go by, but you are making better progress than in previous weeks. All that smiling at each other and blushing was becoming a bit tiresome. I, for one, am very pleased you are finally doing something about it.’

‘I am not trying to make progress.’

‘Really,’ drawled Christopher, and then adopting a ridiculously high-pitched voice he added, ‘Oh, Miss Hornel, please let me teach you how to play the piano. You can only learn if I sit really close to you and impress you with my manly hands and my near-perfect playing.’

‘I do not sound like that and our pianoforte lessons are nothing like you are suggesting.’

Christopher was not finished. ‘Oh, Miss Hornel, let me show you how to dance. No, it is not quite like that; I will have to hold you in my arms for the whole day so that you can learn properly.’

‘Stop fluttering your eyelashes in such an absurd way. You look like a demented butterfly. And it was Emily’s idea to teach her to dance; I was merely there to help out.’

‘Luckily for you, Emily was here to help you. You were getting nowhere by yourself.’

‘I am not trying to get anywhere. Kate is under our protection; I cannot go forcing myself on her.’ He sighed. ‘I have told you as much before.’

His brother groaned. ‘Stop being such a martyr, Edward. You have clearly already broken your self-imposed rule.’ He gestured to Edward’s hair. ‘There is no need to keep denying yourself.’

‘I did not force myself on her.’ It was still important to him that this boundary was not crossed.

If Kate wanted him to kiss her, then he would, but she had to initiate things.

His mind chose that moment to think through all the delicious things she could ask for and for a moment he was lost in blissful imaginings.

‘I do not want to know what you are thinking right now.’

Edward ducked his head, feeling his skin heat. He’d prefer it if his younger brother did not see his blush; he would be merciless.

‘Moving on before I vomit up all the good food from last night, I know you did not force yourself on Miss Hornel. I understand you well enough to appreciate that once you have a rule fixed in your mind, you do not break it, but you still kissed her.’

Edward said nothing.

‘Oh.’ Christopher’s eyes were shining, his whole body alight with joy. ‘You did not make the first move. She kissed you.’

Edward folded his arms across his chest. He’d liked Christopher a lot more over the summer that had just passed than he did now.

When the two of them had been laughing at Freddie and his haphazard courtship of his now wife, he had almost believed Christopher and he were friends.

Christopher was a bounder with a brain the size of a pea and the sooner he went away the better.

‘It does not matter how much you glare at me, it changes nothing,’ said Christopher gleefully.

‘She does not want me,’ he blurted out before clamping his lips tightly shut. Dear God. What had possessed him to blurt that out? ‘Forget it. I do not want to talk about it.’

Some of Christopher’s delight dimmed. ‘What do you mean?’

Edward shrugged. He really should have kept his mouth shut; there was still time not to make this worse and yet for some reason the words still managed to come out like he had no control over them. ‘I am a distraction.’

‘What do you mean?’

He was not about to share what had happened between Kate and Chorley; Kate had not given him permission to tell anyone else and he was not above admitting to himself that he liked being the one who knew more about her.

But Christopher, Freddie and Emily had been at the ball last night and knew Kate had seen a previous employer who had treated her badly.

Not one of them had questioned her, perhaps seeing the fear in her eyes or the taut lines at the edge of her mouth; whatever the reason, they had all agreed to leave the ball early.

He supposed they weren’t all bad, even if Christopher was delighting in tormenting him.

‘Kate wanted some fun after last night.’

‘And she considered you fun?’

‘There is no need to sound sceptical.’

Christopher grinned unrepentantly. ‘I find it hard to imagine you relaxed and carefree. You always seem so uptight, but maybe some women like that.’

‘If rumours are to be believed, you know a lot about what women like.’

Christopher did not look as pleased with this observation as Edward might have imagined. ‘A gentleman never tells.’

Edward rubbed his eyes. Damn, he was tired. He needed some sleep, preferably for a week before he had to deal with his brother again.

‘If you would like my advice,’ said Christopher.

‘No, thank you.’

‘That is a shame, because you are going to get it anyway. Try to persuade Miss Hornel to enjoy a little bit more fun .’

This was, in fact, exactly what he wanted to hear, even if he would deny it if asked outright. ‘How will that work?’

‘The best result will be that she realises how much she enjoys it and wants to keep doing it with you specifically.’

‘And the worst?’

‘You will get to spend time having fun with the woman of your dreams. I can honestly not see a downside to this plan.’

‘I’m still not sure how it would work.’

‘You are a lot older than me; surely you have enough experience to draw on and therefore do not need my advice.’

‘I do not understand why you keep insisting on the difference in our age. Two years is nothing. And… I have never really had to try hard with a woman before.’ Maybe it was being the son of a duke or maybe it was because he’d not been worried about getting his heart broken in the past, but getting a woman to spend time with him had never previously been a problem.

‘I insist on saying it because it is amusing to watch you get in a huff about our vast difference in age.’ Christopher chuckled when he caught Edward’s eye-roll.

‘I understand what you mean about not trying too hard.’ Christopher folded his arms and leaned against the wall.

‘Could you compliment her on her hair or her dress? Heaven knows you cannot say good things about her musical ability. How she manages to make a pianoforte sound like a cat is dying is beyond me.’

‘I think we are beyond compliments.’

Christopher spread out his hands. ‘Then we have come to the end of my ability to help you.’

‘As always, talking with you has been a delight.’

‘I am glad to have been of assistance.’

At least Edward was able to stand now and leave the room.

He could go and have the lie-down he desperately needed, and while he was at it, he would try to come up with a way to make Kate want to ask him for another kiss.

Christopher’s idea was not a bad one at all, especially as it aligned with what Edward wanted to do; of course, he would not tell his brother that.

He didn’t want Christopher getting too overconfident; he was annoying enough as it was.