Page 44 of The Governess’ Unlikely Suitor (The Dashworth Brothers #2)

K ate had no idea how long she worked. Her hands stung from the cold water she had fetched from the pump outside and her back ached where she had stooped over the unconscious woman.

She’d managed to change the woman’s clothes, but there were no cleaner bedsheets to put on, so she had to return her to the soiled ones.

Kate had tackled the table next, very nearly bringing up last night’s meal as she threw things she could not identify into the small back yard behind the house.

Unfortunately, the work did not occupy her mind and, as the time passed, she pondered her future and what it could look like.

Knowing this poverty existed in the world, she could not imagine herself as the pampered wife of a member of the Ton.

If she’d had any doubt on the matter, this morning had solidified her thoughts.

Being a wife was not in her future, unless…

but no, she had already dismissed Edward as a future husband.

Lovely though he was, as much as she was coming to adore him, she could not see herself sitting in Glanmore House eating food using a myriad of cutlery to eat her meals.

And she would not ask him to step into her world either.

No one should be made to give up their way of life and she could not imagine him being able to cope with the disorder her future might bring.

Her throat ached at the idea of giving him up, of not seeing him again, but the sooner it was done, the better.

The longer she spent with him, the more likely she was to fall irrevocably in love and then it would be even harder to leave.

The kitchen was starting to look reasonably in shape when she heard the sound of the front door; the boys were returning. She glanced at their mother, but there was no change in the woman’s demeanour.

‘Miss,’ said Pete, his eyes wide, his breath little more than quick pants. ‘There’s a gentleman; he’s looking for you. He’s right angry. A fancy cove.’

For a wild moment, Kate thought Chorley might have found her, but no sooner had the thought formed than Edward’s wide form was filling the doorway.

She wanted to run to him, to put her head on his chest, the longing so intense she went weak from it.

From the way his eyes glinted, fury simmering in their depths, she guessed he would not welcome her in this instance and so she held back, hands still in the icy water.

Pulling them out, she dried them on her skirts.

‘You disappeared,’ he growled for want of a greeting.

‘No message. No note, nothing. Do you have any idea? It has been nearly five hours, Kate. Five hours of not knowing where you are and whether or not…’ He ran a hand over his face.

‘We thought Chorley had threatened you or found you. Emily is beside herself. I…’ He pointed to his chest as words failed him.

Her fingers trembled against her skirts as she imagined the Dashworths’ worry, Emily’s sweet face teary.

It had not occurred to her that anyone would notice she was no longer in the house.

Her visits to the brothers were frequent and no one had ever questioned her before.

Besides, she was used to doing things alone and not owing anyone an explanation.

In the light of Edward’s furious distress, it was obvious she had made a serious miscalculation.

‘I am sorry; I did not think. Pete came and told me he needed me and I reacted.’

‘I do not understand why you would not tell a soul, why you would not come to me after…’ He turned away from her, his lips pressed tightly together.

‘I…’ It hadn’t occurred to her because she had not imagined any one of the gently bred members of Glanmore House would want to sully their hands with anything like this. If she had asked and they had denied her, something inside of her would have broken and she would rather not have risked it.

When she didn’t continue with her answer, Edward turned to the older boy, ‘Pete, is it?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Is this your mother?’ He pointed to the sleeping woman.

‘Yes, sir.’

‘I take it she is not well and this is what necessitated Miss Hornel’s presence in your home.’

Pete frowned. ‘I don’t understand, Sir.’

Edward tried a different tack. ‘Does your mother need a doctor?’

‘Yes, sir. But he won’t come cos we don’t have the money.’

Edward nodded briskly. ‘Give him my card.’ He pulled one out of his waistcoat and handed it to the boy. ‘Tell him to come immediately and I will personally see he gets paid.’

Pete didn’t need telling twice; he took the card and ran.

Edward turned to Pete’s little brother. ‘What is your name, young man?’

‘Silas.’ The child was staring up at Edward as if he were a magical creature. In his exquisite clothes and artfully arranged hair, he must have seemed like something out of a story to the youngster.

‘Is there any food for your mother?’

Silas shook his head.

‘Do you know where to buy some?’

Silas nodded.

Handing over some coins, Edward said, ‘Fetch some bread for her, there’s a good lad. I think she is going to be hungry when she wakes.’

The boy took the money without comment, Edward’s confidence his mother would open her eyes once more seeming to ease some of the tension in his shoulders. His departure left an eery silence Kate did not know how to fill. She shifted on her feet, her mind strangely blank.

‘I do not think she is going to be in any fit state to eat anything for some time,’ she said eventually.

‘The point was to get him out of the house and keep him busy so that he is not dwelling on his mother looking like this.’ He gestured down to the unconscious woman, who looked slightly better for her change of clothes but was still nearer a wraith than a woman.

‘What was your plan?’ he asked quietly, and somehow this calm acceptance was worse than his agitated anger.

He was still and formal and there was no hint of the man who had worshipped her body through the night.

She scratched her neck, wishing she could turn back the clock, because now she may have damaged the thing that had been building between them.

When she left the Dashworths, she wanted Edward to remember her as fondly as she remembered him and not with the impression that she did not trust him.

‘Um, when Pete came back I was going to, um, return to Glanmore House and collect some of the money the duke has been generous enough to bestow on me and then summon the doctor.’

He nodded slowly, clearly pondering something.

Sweat beaded at the back of her neck while she waited for him to say something.

She owed him no explanation, not really, for her movements.

Despite the night she had spent in his bed, despite her growing feelings for him, they were little more than friends.

She was not his wife or his mistress and owed him no information.

That did not stop the guilt from creeping along her skin, making her feel small and insignificant.

By not telling him what she was doing, she had somehow let him down.

‘And what about the boys?’ he asked eventually. ‘What is to become of them?’

‘I had not thought that far ahead.’

‘Do they have any relations, a father perhaps?’

‘Their father passed away some time ago. As far as I am aware, there is nobody else, but I doubt Pete will want to leave his mother.’

‘I see.’ His face was blank now, giving nothing away. If he was still angry with her, she could not tell.

The front door sounded again. Peering around Edward’s bulk, she saw a doctor following Pete into the kitchen. Edward took over the consultation, money and power speaking more than she ever could.

This was the way of things. She’d known this, known there was a disparity between them both because of their social status and also because she was a woman, but seeing it like this was a stark reminder of how different their two worlds were.

For the rest of her life, she would be dependent on someone else for her livelihood; someone would always need to provide her with protection.

She was tired, so damned tired, of not being seen.

‘The woman is worse for drink,’ the doctor confirmed after examining her.

‘How long will she be like this?’ asked Edward.

The doctor’s long moustache twitched. ‘Could wake up in an hour or two or it could be tomorrow. There’s no way of predicting it accurately. She will wake up though. Probably do the same all over again. I have seen it many times.’

Edward thanked him, giving him far too much money in Kate’s opinion. The man had barely done anything and had distressed the woman’s son in the process.

‘How often is she like this, Pete?’ asked Edward.

The young boy’s eyes were a thousand years old when he looked at his mother.

‘Never this bad before, but…’ he shrugged his bony shoulders ‘…she likes gin.’ That simple sentence said it all.

Like the doctor had said, this was a common problem and people like Pete’s mother, who had little hope left in the world, often turned to the cheap alcohol to make life bearable.

Kate was seeing it first hand for herself, but she had heard stories of it happening many times before.

It was Pete and Silas who would suffer most in the long run.

Silas came back, clutching a loaf of bread in his small hands.

‘Good lad,’ said Edward. ‘Put it on the table for your mother. She will want some when she wakes up. Now then, boys, I have an offer for you.’ Pete and Silas eyed him warily.

Kate reached out and put her hands lightly on the boys’ shoulders, reassuring them they were not alone.

‘As you know, Miss Hornel is currently staying with me and my brothers in a big house. She sometimes gets lonely and I was wondering if you would do me the very great honour of keeping her company this evening.’

‘We can’t leave Ma,’ said Pete.

‘Quite right,’ said Edward brightly. ‘I understand that, but I have someone who can come and sit with her to make sure she is well and she eats the bread Silas bought for her.’ Kate’s heart swelled, appearing to push against her ribcage.

There was a lump in her throat, a large boulder that she could barely swallow past.

‘Who would that be?’ asked Pete.

‘A gentleman by the name of Matthew Parkes. He works for me, meaning I pay him to do jobs.’

Pete looked at Edward for a long time. ‘Could I work for you, Sir?’

Something flashed in Edward’s eyes, the look gone too quickly for her to read. ‘Possibly. Let us talk about details later. For now, perhaps you would come to Glanmore House as my and Miss Hornel’s guest. We can see about getting some games to play to keep Miss Hornel occupied. What do you think?’

‘Can we go, Pete?’ asked Silas, sliding his hand into his older brother’s. ‘I’d like to see the big house and play with Miss Hornel.’

‘All right,’ said Pete, ‘but only if you swear Matthew Parkes will come and look after Ma.’ He addressed Edward as an equal and Kate was impressed with the boy. One day, he might become a great man, if only he were given the opportunity.

Edward nodded solemnly, treating Pete like they were indeed peers. ‘I swear it.’ Kate’s heart cracked open and she worried it would never be the same again.