Page 13

Ghost

F uck them all. Rage thought they had it hard because they’d grieved him? He’d sunk to the depths of depravity. They could sit there in their sanctimonious church and bitch him out for what he did, but without his information, Rage would have nothing. Ghost hit his bike and rode through the gates.

He was full of negative emotions, and Drake… fuckin’ asshole, hadn’t even wanted to meet his sister or the kids. Fine. If Rage didn’t want Carmelle, Ghost did, and fuck them. He’d go nomad or black his ink and find another club because the club he’d just left had failed his expectations. Ghost wasn’t stupid enough to think it would have been plain sailing. But to ignore his warnings… screw them .

He rode home, letting the wind clear his thoughts; he never wanted any negativity to impact on his life with Carmelle. But when Ghost arrived and parked his bike, he saw Carmelle watching him from the porch with worry on her face.

“What happened?” Carmelle asked, coming down the steps.

“Babe, let it go.”

Carmelle shook her head. “Something’s upset you badly. I can see it. Ghost, what the hell happened? I thought you were going for a ride, but you’ve been gone hours.”

“I headed to Rage. It was time to bring them up to date. I expected resentment, yeah, but not the level of it I’ve just witnessed. They’d grieved my death hard, naturally, because we were close as brothers. But the amount of anger took me by surprise.

“Fuck, some of them acted as if I’d enjoyed my time away, Carmelle! Like it was a fuckin’ holiday. None of them have any idea of the shit I swam in, nor the crap I had to swallow daily. You’ve got no clue how hard it was to watch the Fangs treat women as they did. I tried to get to you when you were first brought in and Volcano stopped me. When Fury knocked you down when you held the kids, Volcano restrained me.

“When Fury stripped you naked and hurt you badly, Volcano had to shove me outside. I intended to kill Fury, but Volcano was right. All of us would have died. Then to have to watch drugs, guns, and other shit being sold working for Santos? Having to pretend to have his back daily. They believed that was easy. I swam in so much shit I don’t think I’ll ever get clean!” Ghost erupted.

“Ghost…” Carmelle whispered.

“It ate me, those four months you were at the clubhouse destroyed me. Carmelle, you were my president’s sister, and I couldn’t save you. What type of man was I? Worse than that? You were a damn innocent, and I saw yours and Shannon’s light switch off, and I couldn’t help you! ” Ghost drew in a breath but didn’t stop spewing.

“Every single hour, I wondered if you and the girls were safe, were fed, were healthy. Leaving you in that shithole cost me. And then I discovered Santos was running women and children. Not as whores, but as sex slaves for trafficking. I tipped Anderson off each time. Anderson raided the transfers at various stages of the process so nobody knew where the leak was. But some died.

“I have their blood on me. No wonder you can’t even consider me as your man. Who’d want me? A man who left his family for thirteen years to go undercover and immerse himself in filth. You understand the scum I truly am. I hoped saving you and the girls would cleanse me a little, absolve me from those I couldn’t save. But the guilt is there, it eats me inside.

“The men I expected to understand turned on me. Because they’re butt hurt that I lied to them. Not one of them fuckers tried to understand. Not a single asshole put themselves in my shoes and walked a day in them. No, they don’t trust me. They don’t fuckin’ trust me. I broke my ethics and morals, buried my true self to make sure they were safe, and they can’t stand the sight of me.

“Apache, we were closer than most, had hate in his eyes. He nearly broke me. My brother hates me. Axel could barely look at me, and nobody asked if I was okay. As if I escaped unscathed… well, I fuckin’ didn’t. I can’t sleep because of the nightmares I saw Santos and the Fangs committing. Those images are burned into my brain, and I can’t rid myself of them.

“And you know what’s worse? I told Drake about you. He’s got a half-sister and nieces. Drake wouldn’t accept it at first. Drake never inquired about you or the children. How you escaped. Did anything happen to you and them? Drake, the so-called family man, did not give a fuck about you and what you suffered. I explained you and the girls saw Beau killed, and he didn’t even flinch. No, Drake was more hung up on the fact that his daddy had fucked another woman.

“Where was Drake when Fury was abusing you? Where was the club? Drake wasn’t the one watching innocent people get beaten and raped. Drake didn’t see the pictures of your body, bruised and cut up. Your breasts, damn Carmelle, I’ll never forget that image of those bruises. They looked like fuckin’ punch bags they were so swollen and blackened. Fuck!” Ghost roared the last word.

Ghost rubbed a hand over his face as a soft body hit him hard.

Carmelle wrapped her arms around him. Ghost slowly embraced her, too.

“I’m broken, Carmelle. Ain’t ever gonna claim I was an angel, but I was a damn good man. I possessed a moral compass. I thought Rage turning dark had me sinking deep, but Santos and the Fangs consigned me to hell. When we got you free, I thought it would ease, but no. I had to watch over you because of Santos taking a liking to you.

“Luckily, Santos was more of a gentleman, but you were in danger. Eventually, Fury would have hit on the correct price and Santos would have sent you back. Even if that blew my cover, I wasn’t gonna let that happen. And now, we’re here, still hiding out because Fury’s walking free. Carmelle, you deserve what you had with Beau, and clearly, I ain’t him. What a fuckin’ idiot I was to think you would consider me. All you see is the bad, and I can’t blame you.

“Then there’re the times I snuck away to warn Rage about something or to help save one of their women. I had to leave you, and that terrified me. That I’d come back, and you’d be dead or had given in to Santos. I risked everything every time I left you alone. They didn’t think about that. That you had nobody other than me. Beau is dead, and you were by yourself with two babies. Where’s their empathy?

“Bunch of stuck, up, arrogant cunts. And they called themselves brothers! They ain’t. All those years, putting Rage before my needs, and they don’t trust me? Me? Fuckers, all of them. They hurt? So the fuck do I. They moved on from my death, I couldn’t move on from leaving them. Because I was acting for them. But no, I’m in the damn wrong!

“Baby, I swear to you, the moment Fury is dead, you’ll get your suburban life back. You’ll find another Beau, a man who can treat you right and give you the white picket fence. I’m a fuckin’ fool. No way would you consider a future with me, but that’s okay, yeah? Until this is settled, I’ll protect and guard you and the girls. Then I’ll walk away, and you can move on, past this shit and have a beautiful life.”

“Come with me,” Carmelle said, and Ghost let her lead him into the house.

Jase

He stepped out of the tree line in which he’d been hiding and jogged back to his car. On the way, he ducked the cameras and escaped without being seen. Jase climbed in his car, drove a short distance, and then phoned in.

“Did Ghost spot you?” Hawthorne asked.

“No. Dylan, that dude is in a world of pain. I recorded a conversation. My opinion is Rage need to hear this. But that’s up to you,” Jase said and cut the call.

He sent Hawthorne the recording and began driving back to Rapid City. When they’d received the information that Ghost had shown, Hawthorne’s had scrabbled to get men in place to follow him. It had been a successful mission. If they needed to take Ghost down, Hawthorne’s knew where he was.

Carmelle

I was gutted when Ghost spilled everything he’d bottled up inside. No doubt, this man felt deep and shouldered a heavy burden. Ghost let me lead him into the house, and I checked the kids remained outside playing as we entered the kitchen. They were.

Ghost sat at the breakfast table in the kitchen and stared out at the girls.

“How the hell can you ignore beauty like that?” Ghost murmured.

I agreed. My babies were beautiful. And fuck Drake Michaelson. While Ghost collected his thoughts, I busied myself making coffee. That rant contained too much to process immediately.

Firstly, my so-called half-brother could go kick rocks. It was as much as a shock to me to discover I had family. And I was coping with a huge upheaval to my life. What the fuck was Drake Michaelson dealing with? Nothing! What a total loser he was. If Drake wasn’t interested in me and my girls, then fine. I didn’t need Drake Michaelson in my life. What a complete asshole.

Ghost didn’t have to worry about Drake and me having a relationship. I wanted nothing to do with him .

Ghost had to talk to someone about what he’d seen, done, and experienced. I couldn’t imagine Ghost going dark and committing the crimes Santos and Fury did. But he’d have played a small role, and that was eating him up. Ghost needed to understand that he wasn’t guilty, he had had a job to do, and he’d done it. I wondered if Anderson even realised what it had cost Ghost.

I’d met Anderson a few times; he was a little standoffish, but I could see he loved his brother. Somehow, I doubted Anderson knew anything about this. Ghost wouldn’t tell him because then Anderson would feel guilty.

I’d seen the bullet scars on Ghost’s body, and he’d told me how he got them. Bulldog, working for Fury, had meant to have Ghost killed. That I couldn’t get my head around; without Ghost, the world would have been drastically more dangerous and depressing.

I’d not known how much what Ghost had done bothered him. In hindsight it made sense, but living day to day and being as selfish as I had been, I’d not recognised the pain in Ghost’s eyes. Well, I couldn’t miss it now.

I placed a coffee in front of him, sat down, and reached for Ghost’s hand.

“Listen,” I said, and Ghost cocked his head. From the back garden came the sound of laughter. “That beautiful noise there exists because of you and Volcano. Volcano got us out, but you, Ghost, kept us alive. You cared for me and made us safe, and when you saw the chance, you grabbed it. ”

“Carmelle—”

“No, I’m speaking,” I snapped, and Ghost looked amused. His fingers held onto mine as if I was a lifeline.

“Fine.”

“Since then, you’ve broken your back to make things good for the girls so they could laugh again. If your brothers can’t see who the hell you are, they don’t deserve you. I didn’t see Rage sacrificing thirteen years of their life to bring Fury down. No, those assholes carried on living, partying, fucking, and having families. Not you. No, you swallowed shit, so they could do that. If Rage didn’t open their arms to embrace you, fuck them all. Find another club, one who can see your true value.

“Don’t let Rage MC drag you down and make you grovel. I know you’re loyal. I understand what brotherhood means. But if Rage can’t give you what you need, then they can suck each other’s tiny dicks. They hurt you, and they had no right. How dare Drake spit in the face of what you sacrificed for them? They’re all cocksuckers.

“You have the right to feel betrayed. Damn Ghost, you ought to be devastated. Without you, they’d be sitting ducks, and they’re not. You know why? Because you fucking sacrificed thirteen years of your life for them! So, yeah, fuck Rage!” I snapped.

“Who’d have thought you had such fierceness inside, babe?” Ghost teased with a tiny smile.

“Please don’t say that’s the Michaelson in me!” I gasped, horrified, and Ghost laughed. And I revelled in the sound because maybe I was falling a little bit for this tattooed biker.

Drake

He swapped glances with the inner circle as they listened to the recording Hawthorne had brought them. Hawthorne hadn’t stayed; just said they needed to listen and recommended the inner circle be called.

“Fuck,” Manny whispered.

“Yeah,” Axel mused. He rested his chin on his hand and looked thoughtful.

“Didn’t consider any of that,” Apache murmured.

“Too caught up in our own self-righteous anger,” Ace stated, and his father glared.

“Don’t need reminding, son,” Apache hissed.

“I can’t agree with how Ghost went it alone. But I understand why, and his gut was right. We did still have traitors in our midst,” Texas said, and Drake shot him an incredulous stare.

“You’re one of the hottest tempered amongst us!” Drake declared.

“Yeah, but I can hear Ghost’s pain. He didn’t expect a hero’s welcome back, but Ghost expected us to accept him,” Texas replied.

“So, what do we do?” Gunner asked.

“We let Ghost come to us. There’s no other choice. Hawthorne, point blank, refused to tell me where they’re holed up. The ball is in Ghost’s court,” Drake responded.

Would Ghost reach out to them was the question? Hearing the hurt and grief on that recording, Drake realised they may have lost their brother for good. Forgiveness was needed on both sides.

Ghost – four days later

After he’d spewed all his pent-up emotions and thoughts over Carmelle, Ghost expected her to back off. Instead, it seemed to have drawn them closer. Ghost noticed Carmelle looking to him for approval on certain things. Before, she’d cooked and never cared if Ghost liked it or not. Now Carmelle checked Ghost would eat what she put in front of him.

When they watched the girls play, Carmelle moved closer to him on the swing. If fishing, Carmelle leaned into him as they sat quietly. Ghost wasn’t sure how to read her actions. He loved her, had done ever since living at Romeo’s mansion. Carmelle didn’t think she was brave or resilient, but she was in spades. Even while shocked and completely out of her comfort zone, Carmelle had put the children first. Abused, battered, grief-stricken, Carmelle held on to the faint hope of freedom. Ghost knew that she had considered killing the girls and herself. But she hadn’t been able to. People might hate Carmelle for contemplating that thought; Ghost didn’t. He respected the fuck out of it.

Strangers would look at Carmelle and shake their head in disgust. What type of mother would contemplate murdering her kids? How could Carmelle kill her children? Ghost knew exactly how. Those girls would have been tortured, abused, even raped. It wouldn’t have mattered that they were two and six months. A couple of the Fangs were kiddie fuckers, , they were until Volcano had killed them.

Carmelle, by smothering them, would have eased their passing and not let them suffer. It would have destroyed her, and he’d no doubt that Carmelle would have followed straight after. Show Ghost any mother who’d subject her kids to physical abuse, being beaten, raped, starved, and lord knows what else. Ghost would damn them to hell. Carmelle’s job was to protect those babies, and she’d been prepared to, no matter what it cost.

Ghost thought that was fuckin’ brave. Nobody had the right to judge her. And fuck anyone who did. He’d go toe to toe with them.

“Ghost!” Carmelle shouted, and he looked up from where he’d been reading a book with a blanket over his lap. Carmelle and the girls were wrapped up snugly as they played in the snow.

“What’s up?” he called. He was frowning as he tried figuring out what on earth Sadie was doing. Carmelle started laughing as he watched Sadie talk to herself and kiss the air.

“She has a pet worm,” Carmelle exclaimed.

Ghost began to laugh. How the hell had Sadie found worms while the ground was rock hard with a covering of snow? Only that kid would kiss a pet worm. Wait a minute… “Sadie, no!”

Carmelle spun round and screamed as Sadie put the worm in her mouth and sucked.

“Mama, dirty, bath,” Sadie cackled.

Carmelle raced towards her, and Sadie’s eyes grew huge. She took to her heels as Carmelle gave chase. Ghost laughed, and Shannon squealed as Sadie ran and threw her pet worm at her.

“Save, save!” Sadie yelled.

“Mama! She threw a worm at me!” Shannon screamed.

Shannon jumped about on the spot in distress and anger, and Sadie paused to watch. Thinking Shannon was playing a new game, Sadie started copying her sister. Amused, Ghost began to laugh as Carmelle tried to help Shannon find where the worm went. Meanwhile, Sadie put her hand in a pocket and pulled out a handful more.

Shannon paled and took to her heels, with her sister behind, holding out a fistful of worms, and Carmelle followed after both of them.

“Ghost!” Shannon screeched, heading straight for him.

Ghost bent just in time to pick Shannon up. In fact, for a moment, he wasn’t sure if he had picked her up or if she’d flown into his arms. Shannon kept climbing until she reached his shoulders and held onto his head.

Now out of reach of the worms, Shannon relaxed .

Sadie pouted. “Wanna give Shan one.”

“I don’t think Shannon wants a pet worm, baby girl,” Ghost replied as Carmelle arrived, slightly red-faced. Ghost had managed to hold in the laughter when he saw her. Giving chase to Sadie, Carmelle had stepped into a hole that Sadie had clearly dug on her worm escapade and tripped with a shriek. Now covered in mud, Carmelle didn’t look happy.

“Sadie put the worms back, and no kissing or sucking them. It’s unhygienic,” Carmelle ordered.

“Huh? What un…un… geenic?” Sadie demanded.

“Dirty!” Carmelle explained.

Ghost gently eased Shannon’s grip on his hair. It felt like Shannon was about to pull it out by its roots.

“Yup. Me bath them,” Sadie agreed and opened her mouth.

Carmelle squealed and grabbed her daughter. She shook Sadie’s hands until the worms fell into the grass and then emptied every pocket she could find. Ghost didn’t ask why there were worms in Sadie’s socks or shoved down her top. Carmelle looked disgusted as she finally stripped Sadie naked and carried her upstairs to be bathed.

“Aw shit,” Shannon said sadly, shaking her head.

Ghost froze and moved Shannon from his shoulders into his arms.

Shannon held his gaze and then winked, making Ghost break into a laugh at her cheekiness.

“Don’t let your mother hear you say that!” he warned and continued into the house. Where they discovered worms in Sadie’s bed. Damn, the child was a wannabe Houdini.