Page 122 of The Friends and Rivals Collection

PERRI

“You’re going to get another shot at another promotion,” Arden says, encouraging me in the way only she and Vanessa can. “I know it.”

We’re sequestered in the back booth of Helen’s Diner, away from the handful of others here at this early hour. “You’re right,” I admit, wiping away the last tear I’m going to let fall.

“It sucks that this one didn’t happen. But there might be politics or who knows what involved,” Vanessa adds.

“Look, I run my own business. So does Arden. The reality is there are a million things that go into these decisions, and sometimes we make the right ones as bosses and sometimes we make the wrong ones. And sometimes things just happen in their own time.”

I nod, my heart rate settling, my self-loathing dissipating.

Vanessa makes a good point. The reality is, I’m good at my job.

I simply didn’t get this promotion because—I didn’t get it.

Not because of Derek, and not because I was distracted.

I wasn’t distracted at work. Someone else earned the job.

I take a deep breath. “It’s silly to get so worked up. I should be happy for Elias.”

Arden tucks a strand of blonde hair over her ear. “You can be happy for him and be disappointed for yourself. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.”

“Exactly. You’re not required to operate your emotions like you administer the law. Emotions aren’t black or white, right or wrong. Sometimes we feel twenty-one emotions all at once,” Vanessa says, laughing as she spreads her napkin on her lap.

I manage a small laugh too. “I think I’m feeling twenty-five emotions.”

“Sounds about right,” Arden says as the server swings by, bringing us our breakfast.

We thank her, and as I dive into my eggs, Arden clears her throat. “But I don’t think it’s the disappointment over the job that’s the main reason you’re upset.”

I meet her gaze head-on. “It’s not?”

When we arrived at the diner, I told them everything that went down last night—the promotion, how I felt awful for not being happy for Elias, how my missing out on the advancement was clearly related to Derek, and how Derek and I decided it was time to end our silly little roomies-with-benefits deal.

A deal that always had an expiration date.

Vanessa shakes her head, drinking her coffee. “Maybe the reason for one of those twenty-five emotions—sadness—is that you don’t merely like Derek.” She takes a beat. “You love him.”

I wince and struggle once more with the astonishing sharpness of that truth. How do people live with these pesky feelings wreaking havoc with plans all the damn time? “I did fall in love with him, but it’s not going to work out. I’ll be fine. I’m always fine.”

Vanessa presses. “But why do you have to be fine?”

“Because nothing is going to happen with him.” The words taste like gravel, and it hurts to say them. I don’t know how much longer I can keep up the everything is all good here routine.

“How do you know for sure?” Arden asks.

“He doesn’t want anything,” I say tightly, keeping my tone as neutral as I can, as if this fact doesn’t rip apart my heart.

Vanessa taps her finger on the table. “Who cares about him? What do you want?”

I heave a sigh and scoop up another forkful of eggs. “Right now, I want to stop feeling sorry for myself.”

My brunette friend stares sharply at me. “You’re a strong, independent woman, but you don’t have to be so independent all the time.”

“Lean on us,” Arden adds.

“Let us be here for you,” Vanessa seconds.

Just like that, awareness clobbers me.

Sometimes it takes your girlfriends—no, your best friends—to help you see what’s surrounding you. Supporting you.

They are.

They’re my people.

They’re my family, my sisters. Whether I have Derek in my life or not, these women will always be here.

And lately, I haven’t let them completely be who they want to be—my best friends. It’s time I let them be my best friends in word and deed. I’m going to lean on them like they want, and like I want.

I crack open my chest and let out the truth. “I do love him. I did fall in love with him. And you two were right all along, warning me, looking out for me, and being here for me, even when I wasn’t leaning on you.”

“That’s what we do,” Vanessa says. “Look out for you.”

Arden laughs sweetly. “And we do it especially when you’re pigheaded.”

Sighing, I manage a smile. “I am pigheaded. God, I’m the most stubborn mule there ever was.”

Vanessa raises her coffee mug in agreement. “You won’t get any argument from me.”

I inhale deeply, feeling like I can breathe for the first time in more than twenty-four hours. Feeling like I don’t have to navigate all these thorny issues solo. “I should have told you two about my worries over the promotion. I went to Derek instead.” It comes out like a confession.

“Was he helpful?” Arden asks carefully.

I flash back to our conversation in the kitchen. “He actually was. He’s easy to talk to. He’s very straightforward, very tell it like it is.”

Vanessa smiles. “Sounds like I’d have approved of whatever advice he gave you.”

“I think you would have, but let’s not talk about him right now. Let’s do something else. Something we haven’t done in a while.”

“Pillow fight?” Arden offers.

I stick out my tongue, shaking my head. “Love you madly, but no thanks. I’m thinking we get out of town.”

Vanessa rubs her palms. “There’s a new vintage shop on Fillmore Street. I’ve been salivating over the tea length dresses in the online catalog.”

“Let’s go to San Francisco,” I say, and my smile spreads across my face, it stretches along my arms, and it reaches my toes.

Arden lifts her mug. “I’ll drink to that. You need to spend the day with your best friends. You’re not going to exercise away the problems.”

Laughing, I take another bite. “I’m definitely not. But you know what?”

“What?”

“I’m not going to wallow in them either. I’m moving on. So what if I didn’t get the promotion? So what if I didn’t get the guy? I have you two.” I set down my fork and speak deep from the heart, like I’ve been doing. “I need you guys. I love you both.”

“We love you,” Arden says.

“And we’re always here for you,” Vanessa says.

There’s only one thing to do now. Group hug. I have my sisters, and I’ll always have them.

When we’re done, we climb into Vanessa’s car and wind our way through town. But as we pass the Silver Tavern, I shout out that it’s time for a pit stop.

“You want to go wine tasting at nine in the morning?”

“No, I want to snag a little something.”

I pop into the restaurant that’s open for breakfast and lunch, buy a gift card, then a card at the pharmacy on the next block.

We stop at Elias’s house on the way out of town. I leave the card tucked into his screen door, congratulating him on his promotion and giving him and his wife a chance to dine at their favorite lunch spot to celebrate.