Page 62 of The Frathole

“I’m so fucking confused,” he mumbles.

“I was jealous of you kissing Gisele because I wantedyoukissingme. Make more sense?” But even as I say it, I realize it doesn’t make much sense even to me.

“Is that why you were trying to stop us from kissing?”

“I guess so.”

“What do you mean youguess so?”

“I’ve never had this feeling before. Like, my friends can hook up with whoever they want. Or girls can go hook up with whoever after me, and I’ve never thought twice about it. I don’t get why this is different.”

Marty chuckles, which activates that pain in my chest again.

“What’s funny about that?”

“You must admit, it’s a little funny. You’re saying you were jealous of me, a guy you don’t even like, kissing a girl?”

“I didn’t say I understood it, but it’s what happened. Don’t act like I’m the only one either. You were awfully worked up when you mentioned me chatting with Dax.”

That smug smirk across his lips disappears real fast. “I was worked up because you were being a hypocrite…or at least, that’s what I thought. Now I’m not even sure what to think.”

“That makes two of us. And by the way, I maybe haven’t liked you since you got me into trouble, but lately…you’re not the worst to be around. Still, why would I be jealous over you? No offense.”

“None taken.”

I consider where this could be coming from.

“This is uncharted territory,” he says, “so it’s reasonable to assume we might not understand everything that’s going on. Let’s talk it through.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Marty steps past me and starts pacing.

“That definitely doesn’t help me relax any.”

“I think best when I’m moving. If you don’t like it, look away.”

I take a breath and turn to face the wall, though it doesn’t take the edge off when I know he’s doing it right behind me, so I turn back to him.

He stops pacing. “What if you were jealous of Gisele?”

“Okay, we established that.”

“No, I mean, you mess around with girls all the time. You know exactly how to please women…whether I like to think about it or not. But what if you’re jealous because, now that you know you like guys, you don’t know how to please them the way she would.”

“I haven’t had any issues getting you off,” I tease. But it’s a good point. “When I think about football or messing with girls, I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m a pro, I’ve put in the hours and seen results, but this is all so new, something I’m unfamiliar with…maybe the thought that I wouldn’t be good at this bothers me, puts me on edge.”

Marty cringes. “I’m right, aren’t I? You’re getting worked up because you don’t know if you would be as good in bed with me as Gisele?”

“Not you, specifically, but men in general.”

He rolls his eyes. “You know that’s what I meant.”

I take a deep breath, relieved to have some clue about this.

“So…we’re good?” Marty asks.

“Yeah. Sorry for freaking out. I just didn’t know what was going on, and—”