Page 49 of The Frathole

“Okay, just reach out if you need anything. We’re happy to talk,” Dad says.

They say more, but I’m too busy leaving to hear any of it, maybe because I can’t process any more new information. I hurry to my car, not even safe once I close the door because Mom and Dad stand on the front porch, watching me. I put the car in Drive and head down to the next cul-de-sac in the neighborhood, parking before the tears overwhelm me.

14

Marty

“Come on, wegot this,” Lance says.

“Bi powers activate!” Ash follows, spinning the cursor on his controller.

“If that existed,” Colin adds, “we would have cleared this game already.”

Ash and Colin are stretched out across the bed. Since they can’t keep apart from each other, they’re like a four-armed monster, with Colin spooning Ash as they play.

After I finished up at Activate Kindness, I joined the crew for video games in Ash’s room. Angie’s here too. Normally, that would be enough to put me in a good mood, but today it’s not setting me at ease. Neither is petting Frat Cat.

I check my phone for what must be the dozenth time since I last messaged Ryan.

There’s only my DM:What time do you think you’ll be back here?

That was three hours ago.

I remind myself he’s with his parents, but that doesn’t take the edge off, especially given the way we were sparring via Insta earlier. I’d say I’m worried I might’ve pissed him off, but considering how we’ve been at each other’s throats in the past and how he still wound up kissing me, that can’t be it.

No, but there’s another worry, much worse.

It was one thing to mess around last night. And then jokeabout it this morning. Ryan’s good at showing everyone this chill, easygoing side, but he’s got feelings, same as the rest of us, even if sometimes I forget that. He has worries and fears. What if, now that he’s had time to process, he’s regretting what we did? Maybe he realized there could be consequences for discovering this queer part of himself. He’s a popular jock who’ll likely go pro. Sure, the world’s made a lot of progress, but it’s still a big deal. I also don’t know his parents. What if seeing them has brought up all sorts of issues—

“Everything okay?” Angie asks, yanking me from my ruminations.

She sits on the edge of the love seat Lance and I are playing from.

“Huh?”

“You seem anxious, even for you,” she teases, and I force a smile.

She would notice as much in any of the other guys, but it’s one of the things I enjoy about her. She’s thoughtful.

Kind.

Caring.

Pretty much the opposite of a dick like Ryan, who can’t even be bothered to reply to my text about tonight’s tango lesson. Don’t know why he can’t do the bare minimum when he knows he’s gonna have to deal with me sooner or later.

“Nothing. I think I need to head to bed. It’s been a long day, and I have a test tomorrow.”

Frat Cat meows, either demanding more scritches or sayingliar. Maybe a little of both. I wait for a good stopping point in the game, then say my goodbyes to the crew and Frat Cat, knowing full well I won’t magically be able to get to sleep.

When I reach my room, I hear music on the other side of the door. Not blaring, but loud enough to pinch at my nerves before Ihurry in. The heavy metal assaults my ears, agitating me even more than seeing Ryan standing at the mirror in the bathroom, a towel around his waist, his hair messy since I guess he just took a shower.

Now I’m really pissed.

I head over to the desk and turn off the music, which doesn’t elicit any response from him. Is this some fucked-up silent treatment?

“Thanks for replying to my last message, by the way,” I say, not attempting to disguise my irritation.

“No problem.” He applies lotion to his face, his words the only assurance that he heard me or is even willing to acknowledge my existence.