Page 55 of The Frathole

“Speaking of, I better give him a call. Gotta make amends with everyone today.”

“Okay, I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

After we hang up, I call Dad, who answers before the second ring, as though he’s been waiting for me to return his call all morning.

“Champ?”

That twists like a knife. Not exclusively because I can hear the affection in his tone, but because it reminds me of the news I haven’t shared with him yet—the news I was planning to bring up before they told me about their divorce. The news that certainly isn’t gonna make any of this any easier for him, given he clearly doesn’t want this divorce either.

“I just talked to Mom.”

“I’m glad. We were worried about you. I’m not sure we handled it the right way. And, really, I was holding out hope…” He stops himself. “I shouldn’t say that. I’m not putting any of this on your mom.”

It chokes me up to hear him say that because just as when I was in the kitchen with them, I can feel this is more Mom’s decision and he still loves her.

“It’s been a shit year so far,” he says, “but won’t be once my son’s drafted, right?”

Another blow.

Part of me thinks now would be a good time to tell him, while another is certain this would be the shittiest time with everything he’s going through.

“Honestly, Ry, it’s the only thing I really have to look forward to right now.”

A bleak confession, and the words catch in my throat. “Yeah, uh-huh, Dad. You know, I need to get ready for my next class, so…”

“I’ll let you go, champ. Thanks for being such a good sport. I promise I won’t let any of what’s going on between your mother and me stand between you and your big break.”

“Mmmm-hmmm.” Now I can’t even get words out, I’m so uneasy.

Fortunately, it’s not much longer before I get off, but now the lingering disappointment of the news they shared yesterday ismixed with the guilt about not sharing the truth about my feelings about the draft. But if I shared that, it’d break his heart on top of everything else that’s going on. And I can’t bear the thought of doing that to him. Not yet.

After we exchange I-love-yous, I find myself pulling up Mart’s number. And I know why too. Talking to my parents worked up plenty of stress, and he was a great source of relief yesterday, so I DM him on Insta:You planning to head back to the house soon?

I notice bubbles pop up on my screen.You sent this on Insta? You have my number.

Me: Does it matter? You get notifications either way. ;)

Me: Or you were just waiting on me to text so you could get some more of this action.

Marty: You know I can block you, right?

I’m wearing a ridiculous grin. Wild that Marty is the one who’s able to take me from feeling like crap to feeling good. Who would’ve thought?

Me: Doubt it. Pretty sure you want another taste of this mouth.

Marty: You’re the one who DMed me, so I think I know who wants another taste.

Me: Nah. I could just feel how much you needed it.

Me: Besides, we both know you need more practice.

Marty: I thought you said it was good.

Me: Yeah, and I just have to practice until I can get that confidence up and you’ll know it for when you’re smooching on Angie.

Marty: Smooching??????