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Amelia---What Have I Done?

He braces, readying himself for what I am about to inflict, and my heart fucking shatters at the sight. A sob catches in my throat, and all I want to do is toss the ring to the ground. Turn it off, Amelia. Turn off any feelings. I can’t. I cannot stop this tidal wave pounding against my barriers. I cannot stop them. I want to cover this man with my body. Emotion bubbles at my throat, and the instant my father’s ring touches his skin, the dam breaks.

No. I am hurting the one person who I love most. Gods. Fuck. How dare I?

I will never forget the way the air has changed. The way his face clenches in on itself and how his jaw becomes locked, the refusal to emit any reaction etched across it.

The demons laugh at my pain. They bask in my devastation. I am weak, nothing more than a sad excuse of a lover. I am no better than those who came before me.

Rhodes has his jaw clenched so tightly, there will likely be cracks along that magnificent smile. He is containing every scream I couldn’t that night. He is stronger than I am.

I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. What have I done?

I count to three, fling the tongs away, apologies flying from my lips between sobs. My whimpers are the only thing I can hear. I fall to my knees, burying my face in my hands and double over, touching my forehead to the floor.

My ears are full of my own sorrow, brought forth by my own doing.

Monster.