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Amelia---Faltering Joy

After I dropped to my knees and took Rhodes into my mouth, he’d carried me into the living room and sat me there before moving into the kitchen. A bowl of Doritos later and here we are, slowly enjoying the rest of our evening with chirps from Lennon and snuggles. A docuseries is playing in the background and my soul is at peace.

“What are you afraid of?” His fingers never leave my hair, the firm stroking grounding me with him. “For some reason, meeting the man who tried to kill you doesn’t give you pause, so, what does?”

“I’m terrified of losing something I’ve been without for my whole life.”

“What is that, baby?” Rhodes keeps his voice soft, words more of a murmur than anything. I close my eyes, focusing on the steady movement on the crown of my head.

“I’m scared of losing you. You are the one person who isn’t afraid to love me.”

“Baby,” he starts before I quickly interrupt.

“I never had love growing up. Papa wasn’t one to show affection, and when he did, there was an ulterior intention behind it. I didn’t know what it was to be held, to be kept safe. There wasn’t warmth in that house, no laughter bouncing from the rafters.” I swallow, licking my lips as my hands start to pick my cuticles. I am grateful that Rhodes hasn’t stopped running his fingers through my hair.

“That’s why I’m so protective of my space, why I’m so closed off and hard to love.” I pause, hesitant to continue, but I know that I’ll never get it out otherwise. “I am so afraid of losing you because you are everything I’ve always dreamed about.”

“ Kochanie , I’m not going anywhere, baby.”

“The Mafia doesn’t allow for fairytales.”

I feel him sigh before speaking. “There’s a woman I know who is breathtakingly beautiful. She is fiercely independent and remarkably clever. She runs this world like the queen she is. The streets are her chessboard.” He reaches for my chin, tilting my head back further into his lap, before skimming the column of my neck with his rough fingers.

“I don’t know if people appreciate her like they ought to, but I can’t see my life without her. Stop talking yourself out of your own damn happiness, kochanie .”

I close my eyes and think about the moment I can finally be happy. I want it all with Rhodes. I want a warm house, laughter bouncing off the walls. I want the traditions and the plans and the way I am the only one he sees in a crowded room.

I want his last name. To wear the red-soled heels hidden in my closet. To be his.

A phone ringing breaks me from my thoughts and I sit up, reaching for my phone. I see it’s Duncan and my heart starts to race. Today is Parker and Duncan’s anniversary. He shouldn’t be calling me. I immediately think of Medina’s threat to go after Parker, and I pray to non-existent gods that we aren’t entering that situation.

“Hello?” I feel the tension seep along my vocal cords and it causes Rhodes to crouch beside me, apprehension coating his gaze. “Duncan?”

The other end of the line is silent and my leg starts to bounce. Rhodes places his hand on my knee in a gentle reminder that he is still here.

“Amelia, hey. So listen, I was thinking about your meeting with Medina.” I glance at the clock, noting that it is later in the night and Duncan should be with his wife.

“Duncan. It’s your anniversary. Why aren’t you with Parker?” I am extremely confused. They’ve been married for years, and Parker has always taken this day very seriously. My gut tells me that she wouldn’t be happy with Duncan calling me with non-emergent work issues. “Literally, this can wait until the morning. Go be with your wife.”

“It’s fine. I’ll be quick. So your meeting. We need to make sure it’s at a neutral location, lots of windows, okay? I can’t be in the room with you, I know, but I need to ensure I have eyes on you at all times, alright? I gotta keep you safe, Ames.”

“Duncan. This can wait. Go celebrate with Parker, okay?”

“Amelia!” His voice is louder now, more agitated. I am taken aback by it, and Rhodes takes the phone from my hand, standing up. I watch as Rhodes paces and Duncan is still rambling. I resume picking my cuticles, and Rhodes turns slightly, catching me in the act.

“Shut up, Duncan.” Rhodes’ voice is blunt and commanding. I’ve never heard him speak this way. “Listen to me, man. I don’t need Amelia worrying about this tonight. It can fucking wait until morning.”

Rhodes spins to face me fully, and I hold out my hand, silently asking for my phone. He holds up one finger, rolling his eyes at whatever Duncan has just said. “No. You need to take care of your godsdamn wife. It, apparently, is your anniversary and for whatever fucking reason, you’ve abandoned her to interrupt Amelia’s night. Fuck. Off.” Rhodes ends the call, furious and tosses my phone onto the couch beside me. I track his movement, licking my lips out of habit.

“Did he actually say anything?” I ask, my brow furrowing.

Rhodes is quiet, his voice lethal as he asks me how long Duncan and Parker have been married. One hand collars his neck, his thumb swiping the pulse point as Rhodes stares at the floor.

“Eight years.”

His eyes lock onto mine, and I see an unspoken promise in them. “A man never treats his wife that way, let alone on their anniversary.” He pads to me, pulling me to him and wrapping his thick arms around my softness. “I swear to you that our anniversary will be sacred, Kochanie . I will always put you first, come heavens above or demons below.” I peer up at him, the resolution in his face calling to a part of me I’d buried deeper than the skeletons that once hid in my closet.

“Rhodes.” I feel the tears start to build at the sincerity of his words.

“No, Amelia. I swear to you.” I rest my chin on his chest, the love Rhodes continuously gives me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

“You want to marry me?”

I feel his body slide down the front of me, until Rhodes kneels at my feet. His face is tilted up to meet mine and taking my hands into his, Rhodes places soft kisses on my knuckles, turning my left wrist up to place a kiss on the fox tattoo there as well.

“I will marry you, Amelia Conte.”

I’ll text Parker a bit later, checking that she’s alright. I don’t know what is going on, but it doesn’t sit well with me that Duncan is more concerned about this fucking meeting than he was about spending time with her. I peer down at Rhodes and I feel the last shackles of my heart release. I know that walking into this meeting, there is a chance I will not walk out.

It weighs on me, the knowledge that I am damned either way. If I don’t take care of Medina, he will come after the people I love, but if I do take matters into my own hands? I don’t trust the man any more than I trust the rain not to fall. My father would be disappointed if I failed to protect his seat. There was a time when that fear of failing him would have factored into my decisions, but I cannot make judgment calls based on the reactions of a dead man.

I have to lure the hare into my trap, forcing Medina to make one wrong move as my blade flies.

All I need is a single glimmer of doubt during this meeting.