Page 44 of The Forsaken (Echoes from the Past #4)
THIRTY-SIX
Berwick-Upon-Tweed, Northumberland
Kate left the chapel and headed for the Lady Chamber.
She’d decided a while back that if she wanted to get along with Joan, it was best not to step on her toes.
They each had their roles, and it was her, not Joan, who had been overstepping her boundaries.
Once Kate stopped popping into the kitchen, her relationship with Joan improved somewhat.
The older woman simply wanted reassurance that her position within the family was secure, and Kate was more than willing to give it as long as Joan gave her word that she wouldn’t be unkind to Aileen.
Joan had been taken aback by the request, thinking it a rich woman’s whim, but she’d readily agreed, eager to get Kate out of her hair.
She still heard Joan berating the girl and calling her names, but Joan hadn’t hit her again, at least not in Kate’s presence.
The corridor was completely silent as Kate walked toward the Lady Chamber.
She knew it’d be empty at this time of morning.
Eleanor was still abed, as was Adam, Joan was in the kitchen with Aileen, and Alf and Jed were likely already about their morning chores.
Hugh and Guy had left nearly a month ago, having been called on by their liege lord to help quell the Lancastrian uprisings in the north.
Hugh had been happy to go. He’d been restless and irritable, and Kate had secretly welcomed the separation.
Tonight, she would write to him to tell him of the happenings at the keep, which were few.
Adam had fallen ill with a fever but recovered quickly.
The weather had been inclement, but Hugh would know that being not that far from home.
Kate and Eleanor had called on the Duchess of Stanwyck to find out news of her husband and son and spend a pleasant afternoon in the company of other women.
In her letter, Kate would carefully ask after Guy, hoping her inquiry didn’t sound too eager or too personal.
She shivered as she sat down by the unlit hearth.
She’d have to wait for Jed to bring in some firewood and start a fire.
The room was cold and gray, and lonely. Kate stared wistfully at the large snowflakes falling steadily outside the window.
It’d been snowing for several days now, and the snow in the yard was knee-deep.
When the castle was this silent and still, it felt like a tomb, devoid of any life or hope.
Kate closed her eyes and recalled the days when Guy used to meet her outside the chapel.
He’d stopped doing that after their near-kiss, finding excuses to remain in his room, or going out to the yard to practice with Walter for hours on end.
Determined to regain full use of his arm, he spent each morning sword-fighting with Walter or Hugh, or practicing with a guintain.
Some days, he came back in clutching his arm and grinding his teeth from the pain, but he carried on, convinced that with enough effort, he’d be battle-ready soon.
“I won’t be a cripple, Kate,” he’d said when Kate begged him not to push himself so hard. “I won’t be useless. I can’t spend the rest of my life sitting around, doing nothing. I’d rather die honorably on the battlefield.”
“Is it really an honorable death if you don’t believe in the cause you’re fighting for?” Kate had challenged him.
“It’s more honorable than pining after your brother’s wife,” Guy had replied.
That was the most honest thing he’d said to her since that day by the river, and the most painful.
If Guy pursued her, he wouldn’t be the man she believed him to be, and if he didn’t, there was not a glimmer of hope in her already bleak life that anything might change.
Guy’s resolve appeared to be driven by his desire to get away from her because he couldn’t stand the strain.
They’d been doing a careful dance of avoidance, the steps becoming familiar to them both as the months wore on, but they could no longer deny their feelings for each other, or successfully hide them from the rest of the family, a suspicion that was confirmed by a conversation with Eleanor only yesterday.
“It’s so dull here without Hugh and Guy,” Eleanor had complained as she sat by the fire, her crewel work in her lap. “I swear, some days I think I will expire from boredom.”
“Yes, it’s very quiet,” Kate agreed.
Eleanor gave Kate a piercing stare. “Yet you seem lighter somehow since they’ve gone. Why is that?”
“No reason that I can think of.”
“I can. You’re happy that Hugh’s not here,” Eleanor observed. “Come now, Kate, what is it about your husband that vexes you so? I’d give anything to trade places with you. Anything at all.”
“That’s because you loved William,” Kate replied patiently.
“And you should love Hugh. He’s a fine man, Kate. He’s strong, handsome, and ambitious. He’s more ambitious that my Will ever was, God rest his soul. Will was too decent for his own good at times. Had he been as clever as some, he might have doubled our holdings and filled our coffers.”
“We are comfortably off,” Kate argued.
“Comfortably off is not the same as rich, is it, and where would we be without your dowry? We still have to economize if we hope to make that money last. Why, I’m sick to death of boiled mutton and mashed turnips.
I’d like to have a table as fine as that of the Duchess of Stanwyck.
I’m still tasting that marzipan,” Eleanor said, closing her eyes and sighing wistfully.
“I’ve never tasted anything so divine.” She sighed.
“Maybe Hugh will distinguish himself somehow. They say that Edward is generous to those who are loyal to him. He’s been giving out lands and titles like Christmas sweets. ”
“I only want Hugh and Guy to return to us unharmed,” Kate replied, doing her best to keep her patience in check. Eleanor was beginning to grate on her.
“Do you? Both of them?” Eleanor scoffed.
“I don’t think you’d be too heartbroken if you found yourself a widow.
Well, let me tell you, Kate, there’s no glory in being widowed.
You become nothing. Less than nothing. You have no husband, no position, no money of your own, and no prospects.
If Hugh cared anything for me at all, he’d find me a husband.
I’m done with my mourning, and I’m still in my prime.
I can even still bear children. So why shouldn’t I remarry? ”
“No reason that I can think of.”
“Oh, there is a reason. Hugh will never allow me to take another husband. He’s too shrewd for that.
If I marry, my husband will become father to my son and assume control of the de Rosel estate until Adam comes of age.
And if anything were to happen to my boy, God preserve us, he would get it all.
No, Hugh will keep me here until I shrivel up and die, unless the situation changes. ”
Kate was about to protest but saw the truth in Eleanor’s words.
Eleanor wasn’t as na?ve or trusting as Kate had first assumed, and now that she was out of mourning, her mind had turned to her future and she didn’t like what she saw.
But Eleanor wasn’t one to make demands, at least not outright.
Bluntness wasn’t the way to influence Hugh.
Eleanor never argued or did anything to anger him.
She was all feminine frailty when he was around, bringing out his chivalrous side.
Hugh was in control of Eleanor’s fate, and she’d do anything to keep him sweet—a skill Kate had yet to learn—but Kate was sure her sister-in-law would get her way in the end.
If Lord Dancy died, Hugh would inherit the entire Dancy estate, making it easier for him to let Eleanor go since he would no longer be dependent on the de Rosel lands for survival.
“Hugh should really do something about Guy,” Eleanor continued .
“How do you mean?”
“I mean that Guy is five and twenty, and still unwed. He’s a fine-looking man, if not wealthy in his own right, but if Hugh found him an heiress, that would bolster all our fortunes.
Of course, the only way an heiress’s family would consider Guy would be if her reputation were slightly tarnished.
Guy could follow Hugh’s example and bag himself a noble lady,” Eleanor said with a sly smile, clearly referring to the circumstances of Kate’s own marriage.
She studied Kate’s mutinous expression. “You don’t look pleased with my suggestion.
Don’t you think it’s time Guy took a wife?
I wager that his giving his affections elsewhere would make you none too happy.
I see the way he looks at you. It reminds me of how Hugh looked at me when I first married Will.
That’s the thing with brothers, they always want each other’s toys. ”
“It’s not my decision whether Guy marries or not, so it matters little if I’m pleased with the idea.”
“No, you don’t get to make any decisions,” Eleanor agreed. She never stopped reminding Kate that she wasn’t the mistress of Castle de Rosel. Of course, Eleanor was mistress in name only, but that seemed to be enough for her. It gave her that small bit of authority that she so desperately needed.
“I don’t want to sew anymore today,” Kate said. “My head is beginning to ache. I think I’ll go rest for a bit.”
“Suit yourself,” Eleanor replied. “I prefer being here to sitting in my room. At least here I’m not completely alone. Lord, I even miss Walter, that impudent little whelp.” She sighed. ‘I think he finds me beautiful.”
“I’ve no doubt he does.” Kate left the Lady Chamber and went to her room. She didn’t really have a headache, but she couldn’t bear Eleanor a moment longer. Normally, she wasn’t this bad, but being cooped up in the castle while the snow fell made her irritable and argumentative .
Kate meant to come down for supper but changed her mind. If Eleanor chose to be waspish, she’d have to dine alone. Kate hoped that Eleanor got the hint and would try to restrain herself in the future.