Page 31 of The Disasters of Dating (Love Connections #6)

POPPY

Pisces, you need to look for opportunities to lighten your thoughts.

The Cancer Moon is forming an unbalanced aspect with the north node.

You’ll feel great frustration at the lack of progress or power, but you’ll see a way around the obstacles.

Partner with someone who can help your agenda, but keep your mind open as negotiations emerge.

Connect with your favorite people. Look for grounding activities that allow you to appreciate the simpler things in life.

Keaton

I’m not doing much. Just catching up on some work that I wasn’t able to get to because I was flying yesterday. Then I’m going to play basketball with my brother.

I smile down at his text reply. It feels like more than twelve hours since I saw Keaton.

But then I frown. I shouldn’t be this invested in him.

And I definitely should not have kissed him back when he kissed me for the kiss cam.

I should have given him a light peck on the lips.

But once his lips touched mine, it’s like a dam inside of me burst and I didn’t want to let him go.

Quite the opposite. I wanted more. I wanted to run my fingers through his perfectly mussed hair.

I wanted to make it an unruly mess. I wanted to hold him close and never let go.

I close my eyes and take in a halting breath. But I can’t. This is why I have rules.

I bite my lip. But I’ve already had this argument.

Keaton isn’t a tourist. So why am I feeling like I’m making a mistake?

Like, I’m breaking some rule? Have I thought about him as a tourist for so long that now I can’t change my view?

I scoff. If anyone is changeable, it’s me.

That can’t be it. He’s just must not be part of my plans.

For whatever reason, I’m hesitant to call this anything more than friendship. In another week, I’ll start back into school and won’t have time to think about him constantly or see him every night.

My shoulders sag at that thought, which only compounds my irritation.

But then my brow raises as realization hits. Is it school that’s holding me back? Maybe deep down, I’m afraid that if I get too involved with Keaton, then I’ll have to put my education on the back burner. And I can’t do that.

I nod, even though I feel no relief. But that has to be it, right? What other reason could there be?

I shake my head. I have no idea what to do with this newly discovered information. It brings with it no peace. My Cancer Moon is no joke.

My phone buzzes.

Keaton

Didn’t you say you had several nights off this week?

I don’t reply immediately. My first impulse is to tell him I’m free and see if he wants to hang out.

But another part of me wants to be cautious.

Maybe I should tell him I’ve taken some extra shifts?

But that’s what I’d said to Grandma Alice.

I can’t treat Keaton like I do Grandma Alice. I like Keaton too much to do that.

After this week, it won’t even be an issue. So maybe I’ll hang out with him for a few days and then cut things off before he flies out on Thursday.

Yeah, I do. But I thought we already had plans to go for ice cream on Monday.

Keaton

Oh, yeah. More fancy ice cream. I can’t wait!

Is he being facetious? Does he not want to do ice cream? Ugh! Texting and I have such a love/hate relationship. Why don’t people use the phone anymore?

Do you hate ice cream all of a sudden ?

My phone rings in my hand, and Keaton’s face lights up my screen. It’s as if the universe sent Keaton my pleas to use actual voices.

“Hey, Keaton,” I say when the line connects. I’m much too happy to hear him somewhere other than my head.

“Hey, yourself.” I can hear his smile, and it warms my whole body. I may even have a flash or two of our kiss from Thursday night. Maybe part of my issue is that I don’t know if he only did it because of the pressure from the chanting and the kiss cam. Would he have kissed me without those things?

I clench my fist at my side, berating my wishy-washiness. Wasn’t I just planning my exit strategy?

“So, I thought it might be easier to talk rather than text about our plans this week,” Keaton says. He makes it sound as if we have multiple plans arranged. He clears his throat. “Plus, I wanted to hear your voice.”

My heart melts a little. He’s so sweet.

“You still good with ice cream?” I ask.

“Yep. I’ve been rationing my calories all weekend in anticipation. I’ve actually kept most of my weeknights fairly open.”

I’m not sure why that pleases me so much, but it does.

“Cool. Then maybe we play the week by ear?” Is that my wishy-washiness talking?

Normally, I like structure and plans. Not this willy-nilly, take things as they come attitude I’m sporting right now.

What is wrong with me? Oh, my heck. Is this my frustration over a lack of progress that my horoscope talked about?

He coughs. “Sure…if that’s what you want to do.” His voice doesn’t have his normal carefree tone to it. But maybe that’s because he’s at work.

“Do you have anything in particular that you want to see while you’re here?”

“Non-touristy things,” he grunts.

I laugh. “Okay. Locals only stuff. Got it.” A thought comes to me, and without thinking, I blurt it out. “What about the planetarium?” I slap my hand to my forehead. Is that touristy?

“Oh, that sounds fun.”

“Yeah, in the evening they have laser shows set to great music.” I haven’t been to a laser show in years. Maybe it’s not as bad an idea as I thought.

“Can we do it before we get ice cream? Or maybe after?”

I bob my head back and forth. “The ice cream place may take most of the evening, and it’s not close to the planetarium. ”

“So what you’re saying is that you want to spend more time with me?”

I laugh. “Apparently that’s what I’m saying.”

He lets out a slight huff of disappointment. “Apparently? I’d hoped for a little enthusiasm.”

“Yes! I want to spend another evening with you.” I do a little dance around my bedroom, hoping it infuses the right amount of cheer into my response.

“That’s better,” he sounds appeased.

“Okay, so planetarium on Tuesday?”

“Sounds like a solid plan. I can hardly wait.”

I grab my laptop off my desk and set it on my bed as I flop down. “Hold on, though. I want to make sure they have good music that night.” I pull up their website and go to the Dome schedule. Tuesday night is AC/DC night. “Woot woot!” I holler into the phone. “Laser AC/DC. Yes, please.”

There is silence for a minute. “You like AC/DC? That surprises me.”

“What? Who doesn’t like AC/DC?” I pull my phone back and look at it as if Keaton can see me looking at him like he’s a crazy man. “Why are you surprised? What music did you think I’d like?”

“I don’t know. Peter, Paul, and Mary? Maybe Simon and Garfunkel?”

I glare at Keaton’s picture on my phone.

“Seriously, when are you going to realize that you can’t assume I’m some vegan flower child who lives in a commune and only listens to sixties music?

I don’t do drugs, either. Do I need to get that out there, too?

” I know I shouldn’t be annoyed. But I thought he was different.

I thought he realized that I wasn’t just some hippie stereotype.

“No, you don’t have to mention that. I know you’re not that kind of person.”

“Do you?” I say it louder than I mean to. “I mean, do you really?”

“Yes, I do. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed anything. So far, you’ve done very few things that I thought you would. I’m surprised by you almost daily.” He releases a big sigh. “I really am sorry, Poppy.”

I release the breath that has been building up in my chest. Rolling my shoulders, I let most of my anger and frustration subside.

I shouldn’t have gotten so mad. It’s a natural thing for people to make assumptions based on what they see and their past experiences.

So if I should be mad at anyone, it should be at myself for thinking that Keaton was different from everyone else.

“You’re not the only one who needs to apologize. I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have freaked out. ”

There’s quiet for a minute. “Yes, you should have. I have known you for long enough now that I should know better. You deserve better.” He pauses. “I’m going to try hard not to do that anymore.”

I swallow hard, feeling like a complete jerkwad, as Paisleigh would say.

“Hey, let’s try this again,” I say, trying to lighten the mood. If we’re only going to spend another week together, I don’t want it to be awkward. “Hey, Keaton, would you like to go with me to see Laser AC/DC on Tuesday night?” I put a chipper tone in my voice, hoping he’ll hear the sincerity.

“I’d love to go,” he says in an equally chipper tone. “Do you want to go to dinner first?”

“Sure, if you have time. I don’t want to take you away from work. I know you’re probably already in hot water with your boss after last night.”

“Nope,” he says. “I told you I can handle my boss. Everything is fine.” I sigh again. Things are feeling more normal now.

There’s another pause. “Okay. Then I guess I’ll see you on Sunday night?”

“Yep. I’ll stop by The Wandering Reader and see you before I head to my hotel.

“Great! See you then.”

“You, too.”

I’m about to hang up when Keaton speaks again. “And Poppy? I want you to know that even if I was in hot water with my boss, it was totally worth it. No regrets.”

I smile and lift my hand to my lips. “None for me either.”

The phone disconnects, and I’m elated. But there is still an undercurrent of unease that I can’t account for.

I pull up my contacts and open one that is further down the list than I’d thought. Has it been that long since we texted?

Hey, Lincoln. Do you like ice cream?

I don’t know why I feel the need to text with him. But a sense of ease, one that was missing while I talked to Keaton, settles over me.

Lincoln

Who doesn’t like ice cream?

Apparently no one. Maybe we could go sometime ?

I bite my lip. How will he react to that suggestion? And what if he says yes? Do I want ice cream twice in one week? I mean, yes, I do want ice cream that frequently. But as my dad used to say, just because I can, doesn’t mean I should. I think the bigger question is, do I want to meet Lincoln?

Lincoln

You want to meet in person? Doesn’t that go against rule No. 1?

I smile. I’m kind of relieved that he didn’t jump at the chance. It makes me trust him more, knowing that he hesitated.

But didn’t you ask me to meet you in person first?

Lincoln

But I thought we established that was a wrong number. So does it really count?

I smile. I like the easy way we talk. Although is that only because we’re texting? Would we have this easy conversation if we were on the phone or in person?

Fine. I’ll eat ice cream with other guys. And you can sit there knowing it could have been you.

Lincoln

Wow. You sound a little feisty. Bad Saturday?

I sigh. Sometimes he seems to know me better than most people. Maybe that’s why I feel so comfortable with him.

No. Just a lot on my mind.

Lincoln

Oh? Anything I can help with?

Lincoln

I’m here if you want to talk about it.

My chest and throat tighten, and I push back tears. Why am I on the verge of crying? This is so dumb.

No. I’m good. I’m sure it’s just Mercury…

Lincoln

Man, I hate Mercury!

Yeah, me too. What are you doing today?

Lincoln

Finishing up some work, then going to hang out with my brother. U?

That’s interesting. Keaton was hanging out with his brother, too. Maybe I should call Brody and tell him it’s a brother hangout day. I smile. He’d probably have me committed.

I head into work in about an hour.

Lincoln

So, you didn’t have time to go get ice cream anyway…

Well, I can plan my schedule more than a day in advance. But the ice cream ship has already sailed, buddy!

I grin, feeling more like myself.

Lincoln

Can I have a take-back?

Nope!

Lincoln

Where do you work?

I raise my brow and smile.

I’m pretty sure that breaks rule No. 1.

Lincoln

Are you CIA? FBI? Or why would it break rule No. 1???

I guess for most people, they could say what their job is, and it wouldn’t be very identifying. Like, I’m sure there are a lot of accountants or people who work at Target. But my job is a little more identifying. I choose to go generic and vague.

I work in a shop.

Lincoln

That was breaking rule 1? What kind of shop? Or is that too personal?

I grin. Apparently, he isn’t a fan of vague.

I guess it’s what you would call a sundry shop. We kind of sell a bit of everything. Some small electronics and charging stuff. Books, snacks, and a limited amount of clothing. That kind of thing.

I’m impressed with my ability to describe The Wandering Reader in such detail while still keeping it generic.

Lincoln

Cool. I still have many questions, but I think they may break rule 1. How long have you worked there?

Two years. It won’t make me rich. But it helps pay for school.

Lincoln

School…That’s no small amount. I’m still paying back student loans.

Yeah. My brother and sister accepted money from my grandma, which now she thinks they owe her. I wasn’t about to let that happen. But I’m so close to graduating. And I’ve applied for a scholarship for grad school, so fingers crossed I get it. Then maybe I won’t have to work while I’m in school.

Lincoln

Let me guess. Was it Grandma Alice?

My cheeks pink. I can’t believe I accidentally texted him about her.

How did you guess that?

Lincoln

I’m an intuitive kind of guy. But I’m seriously impressed with you. On so many levels. If you even qualify to apply for a master’s scholarship, you must be crazy smart! And congrats on graduating! That’s such an achievement!

I laugh while also shivering with…pride? I’m not sure what the exact feeling is. I just know that I appreciate someone understanding how hard I’ve worked.

Thanks! I know you mean all of it because you used so many !!!

Lincoln

They were all deserved!

Maybe the rest of our texts today should only use!

Lincoln

That would be fun! Or maybe just weird!

I laugh and lay back against my pillows.

What’s not fun about !?!?!

Lincoln

I think you cheated! We never agreed on question marks!

Thanks for making me feel better! And for making me laugh!

Lincoln

Glad to help! Maybe next time we can use! and ALL CAPS!! IT WOULD BE LIKE WE ARE YELLING EVERYTHING EXCITEDLY!!

HAHAHAHA! I’LL TAKE IT UNDER ADVISEMENT! HAVE FUN WITH YOUR brOTHER. MAYBE GO EAT ICE CREAM AND THINK OF ME!!

I grimace. There is little chance I won’t be thinking of Lincoln while I’m eating ice cream with Keaton. That feels a little cringy.

Lincoln

I’LL TAKE IT UNDER ADVISEMENT! HAVE A GREAT DAY AT WORK!

I sigh as I stare at my phone. Sometimes I wonder if I like Lincoln better than Keaton. Although Keaton is real. Not that Lincoln isn’t. But it’s different.