Page 16 of The Disasters of Dating (Love Connections #6)

I sigh. What if this is the universe putting Mr. Right directly in front of me and I waste it because I’m scared? Or too cautious? I tap my finger against the side of my phone.

“To heck with it.” I growl. I’m going to roll the cosmic dice and let good sense RSVP later.

I lift my phone and tap on Wrong Number Guy.

My subconscious, huh? Let me guess, you’re a psych major?

I look at my phone. What time is it in New Hampshire, anyway? Or is he in Utah? He seemed to be in Utah when he texted me the other night. I check the clock and see that it is 10:30. What is Wrong Number Guy doing on a Saturday morning at 10:30? Probably not staring at his phone, Poppy, you psycho.

But then a message pops up. If questioned about it later, I will deny that I let out a little scream.

Wrong Number Guy

Ahh, I was right, then. I am hard to get out of your mind.

I grin.

Well, crazy people do usually leave a lasting impression. Plus, you keep texting me.

Wrong Number Guy

You don’t have to reply…

And I resemble the crazy remark.

I’m replying as a gift for womankind. I don’t want you to believe you are that memorable.

He sends a GIF of Melissa McCarthy looking sad and saying ‘Wow.’

I have no idea what movie it is from, but I still laugh.

My sister and cousins say that I’m crazy to keep texting you. They think you’re fishing me.

They didn’t actually say “fishing,” but it was inferred, right? And isn’t it best to get this elephant in the room out in the open right from the beginning?

Wrong Number Guy

I’m glad you brought that up. I’ve been meaning to ask you for your social security number and bank information. You know, in case I need it to help you out sometime.

Okay, that was more creepy than funny.

Wrong Number Guy

Yeah, as I’m rereading it, I realize I may have taken it too far.

So, what you’re saying is you are fishing me? Is that what you’re called? Fishers? It feels too biblical for something so evil… (I’d say sorry for calling you evil, but if you are fishing, you kind of deserve it).

Wrong Number Guy

I think it’s actually a ph.

What is he talking about?

***

Wrong Number Guy

It’s phishing. Not fishing.

Isn’t that something a phisher would know?

My stomach twists, and I wonder if maybe I should have listened to my cousins.

Wrong Number Guy

Or someone who can spell.

Haha.

Wrong Number Guy

Well, I’m more of a catch and release kind of guy anyway, so it doesn’t matter. But if you want to call me something…

Maybe call me your friendly neighborhood wrong number. I’m saving the world one spelling error at a time.

What does it mean that he gave himself the same name that I gave him? My shoulders relax a fraction.

Haha. It’s not lost on me that you didn’t actually answer my question.

Wrong Number Guy

What question? What we like to be called? I did answer that.

No, not that. And don’t tell me you didn’t know what I was alluding to. If you’re not phishing, why do you keep texting me?

Wrong Number Guy

I’ve got to plead the Fifth.

If you’re not phishing why do you keep texting me?

My whole body deflates into the giant beanbag. Well, that is disappointing. Why did I get my hopes up that this was the universe? I had built him up to be more than a loser criminal.

Wrong Number Guy

Do I sound wishy-washy if I say I’m not sure? You seem fun and nice. And I don’t know. I can’t seem to help myself. But I’m definitely not trying to get any of your personal information.

I reread his response. It’s almost as if he typed out the thoughts in my head.

Wrong Number Guy

To answer your question, no, I’m not phishing. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think your sister and cousins don’t have a valid point.

You’re agreeing with them that I shouldn’t text you?

There is a pause. Have I scared him off?

Wrong Number Guy

To an extent. I mean, I think you should be cautious. You don’t even know me. For all you know, I could be some four-hundred-pound inmate named Tiny who’s serving time for peddling counterfeit purebred labradoodles across state lines. I could be a really bad dude.

I laugh at my phone screen. He sounds like Avery.

Peddling labradoodles across state lines? Bawahahaha! That is the best line ever!

Wrong Number Guy

But is it only a line? How are you to know?

I don’t get you. Just when I start to think you’re okay, then you say something like that, and then I’m not sure.

Wrong Number Guy

That’s good. I’m trying to keep you on your toes. I want you to question everything. That’s how you stay safe.

And there you did it again!

Wrong Number Guy

Wrong Number Guy

But would I be cautioning you to question everything I say if I were trying to scam you?

Well, I didn’t think so when this conversation started. But now I have to wonder if it’s all part of your devious plan.

Wrong Number Guy

When you really think about it, you’ll see that I’m not trying to harm you. So I’d better say goodbye and give you some time to think. Plus, I’ve got to meet with my poodle breeder.

Yeah, I think we should terminate this conversation.

Wrong Number Guy

I did it again, didn’t I? I took it too far. I’ll work on that if you ever text me again.

The jury’s still out on that.

Wrong Number Guy

I’ll keep my fingers and toes crossed.

You are so weird.

Wrong Number Guy

Weird good or weird bad?

I’m not sure yet.

I throw my phone onto my bed so I’m not tempted to keep up the text. I think we both need to think about things. Now that I’ve texted him more than a few lines, I’m wondering how much I can trust him.

I shake my head. I’m still not sure what that answer is. Maybe a little time is in order.