Page 39

T HIRTY -E IGHT C AMILLE

Once Xander is gone, I find my parents in the living room with glasses of wine. They put a movie on the TV, but I don’t think either of them is paying much attention to it, not that I can blame them.

“I’m going to bed,” I announce, sleep deprivation clinging to my words and making my voice deeper. “Love you guys.”

They both look at me, their expressions giving away just how tired they are, too.

Today was emotionally exhausting for all of us.

Dad gets up and wraps me in a tight hug, kissing the top of my head. “I love you, Camille.” He steps aside so Mom can hug me next.

It’s been some time since I experienced this kind of affection from my parents, and while I recognize it’s closely tied to the fear of what I’m doing tomorrow, I’m not going to take it for granted.

“Love you, honey.”

I manage a small smile at her before turning to go upstairs.

“Camille?” Mom says, and I turn around. “Are you sure about this?”

My brows inch closer. “Of course, I am.”

She releases a breath, nodding. “Okay.” And then she goes back to the couch and picks up her wineglass again.

Dad sends me a supportive look paired with a smile, and I give him a subtle nod of acknowledgment before I walk out of the living room.

I toss and turn all night, drifting off to restless sleep for short periods every hour or so. I feel even worse the next morning than what I did going to bed the night before.

Xander arrives shortly after I get up, coming to the door. He’s dressed equally formal as he was yesterday in black slacks and a dress shirt under his coat. He comes inside briefly to greet my parents, and after that awkward encounter, we’re off.

I wish I could fall asleep when the car starts moving, but I’m too wired—and terrified. I know there are consequences to what I’m doing, likely bigger than I can imagine now, but my mind is made up.

I will do whatever it takes to bring my sister back.

Sacrifice whatever I must to save her from the torture she’s endured far too long already.

“I can take it away,” Xander murmurs.

I angle myself toward him, licking the dryness from my lips. “What are you talking about?”

“Your fear.”

His words make my heart race, and I say, “You…want to feed on me?”

“In this instance, it would be mutually beneficial.” He casts me a sideways glance. “I can draw the fear out of you. You wouldn’t feel it anymore, and it would sustain me to make the trip.”

I chew the inside of my cheek. “And if I say no?”

“Then I won’t. Once we’re in hell, I won’t need to feed anyway—I’ll absorb power from the souls there.”

“Oh,” I mumble.

“I was offering more for your sake. I know this is scary. And as much as I wish I could talk you out of doing this, I admire you deeply for the courage you’re showing to save your sister.”

I blow out a breath. “How do we, um…I mean, how do you feed? Will it hurt?”

He offers a soft smile, focusing on the road. “No, it won’t hurt. You’re giving yourself to me willingly, so it’ll likely feel quite pleasant.”

I try to mask the shock on my face as my cheeks flush. “Okay.”

Xander nods. “Close your eyes.”

I don’t protest despite the pounding in my chest. The darkness behind my eyelids makes my head spin until Xander slowly smooths a hand over my hair.

For half an instant, I feel as if I’m being ripped from my own body. Like the sensation of each of my limbs falling asleep. My lips part in a gasp, but before I can so much as shift a muscle, a sense of calm like no other rushes in. My lips curl into a dazed smile as Xander’s gentle touch makes pleasure flood through every inch of me. I’ve never felt anything like this.

A soft sigh escapes my lips, and then I lose track of everything.

The car comes to a stop, making me stir, and I sit up, rubbing my eyes. “Are we here?”

“Yes.” Xander leans over the center console and pushes the hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. “Are you ready?”

A jolt of panic zips through me, though more subdued than before. “I think so,” I force out in a level tone.

“We can take a few minutes. If you need to—”

“No,” I cut in, clearing my throat when my voice cracks. “Danielle has been trapped in hell long enough. We have to go now.”

“I’ll be at your side,” he assures me. “You’re safe with me.”

All I can do is nod.

Xander gets out of the car, then helps me out, keeping his arm around me as we walk across a narrow, paved road toward the cover of trees. The air is cold and damp, and I tuck myself tighter against Xander’s side as our breaths create little plumes of fog in front of us.

I follow in silence for a few minutes before we reach a small clearing. “How do you know where the portals are?” He’s used this one before, but they are scattered all over the world.

He stops, pulling my dagger out of his jacket pocket. “I’m connected to them,” he explains. “Each one has a beacon, like an internal tracker.”

“Oh, I see.” My eyes drop to the dagger, and panic coils tightly in my stomach. “What—”

He slices it across his palm before I can ask what he’s doing. He grits his teeth, hissing in pain, and I frown as his blood spills onto the forest floor.

“Take my hand,” Xander says in a grave voice, offering me the hand he didn’t cut open. When I slide my fingers through his, he draws me into his chest. “Close your eyes and try to breathe normally. Everything is going to feel out of your control, but it will pass.” He grips my chin and kisses me hard, searing my lips with his. “I’ve got you.”

His words are lost to the sound of the ground rumbling like an earthquake. I barely manage to squeeze my eyes shut before the forest floor splits wide open under our feet, sending us plummeting into the depths of the earth.

I scream. At least, I think I do. It doesn’t make a sound over the blood rushing in my ears. I lose all perception of anything as we fall.

And fall.

And fall.

I have no sense of time, but at some point, the ground is solid under me once more. My throat is raw and my eyes are sealed shut. I try to take a breath and choke on the thick, smoky air.

“You can open your eyes now.” Xander’s low voice in my ear sends a shiver down my spine.

I slowly pry them open, blinking until my surroundings clear, and suck in a sharp breath.

“Welcome to hell, mo shíorghrá .”