Page 42 of The Devil and His Goddess (Sinners Do It Better #2)

Harper

THE MOON AND STARS WERE high in the January sky, and it created the softest light on Perseus’s back as he waded through the heated pool. He’d returned early that morning from wherever they were keeping Drake but had to leave for work soon after. I’d been working on my emotional execution in dance during the day, but there was still something blocking me from tapping into my full potential. My technique had improved after my break, but my ability to embody a riveting and engaging performance hadn’t.

I had a hunch as to why that was, though I wasn’t willing to acknowledge it aloud. I wasn’t willing to acknowledge that the love for my body, the confidence in my abilities, and the magic I felt during dance were gone.

I could do the dances. I just couldn’t get past my own issues with my body, my reflection, and my lack of self to truly experience the dance.

When I’d kissed Perseus, I’d felt the sparks of my old self. The girl who enjoyed life and all its pleasures came back, excited to be in his arms and to feel his lips again. But when nothing else happened, she slowly receded and tucked back away inside of myself until I was left with one, painful fact.

I was broken.

I quickly shook the thought away. I couldn’t think that way. Doing so would only send me in the wrong direction when I’d been working endlessly on trudging forward.

To loving dance again.

To loving myself again.

To loving …

I took a deep breath and slid the glass door open to walk out onto the covered outdoor patio. Heaters were stationed at intervals under the roof, creating a warm bubble against the winter night air. Steam rose from the pool water, which billowed up when Perseus turned around to face me.

“Care if I join you?” I asked, shedding the robe I had wrapped around me.

Perseus grinned. “I’d love for you to join me.”

I didn’t have any bathing suits here, so I had on one of his oversized white t-shirts and a pair of panties. The cold air kissed my bare skin as I left the warmth of the patio to cross the concrete to the pool. Perseus offered me his hand as I walked down the stone steps and into the heated water. The warmth made goosebumps break out on my skin, and I let out a small sigh as I dipped to my chin in the water.

“Feel good?” Perseus asked, his voice low and rough.

“Mhm,” I answered.

My hand was still in his, and the two of us floated leisurely through the water like that.

“How’s dance practice going?” he asked after some time.

I shrugged. “I’m still working on it.”

“You’ll figure it out. I know you will.”

I wish I had the same confidence in myself that he seemed to have in me. As it was, I couldn’t have been less stuck in a cycle of doubt.

“Maybe I need to accept the fact that I’m broken and can’t be fixed,” I relented softly.

He stopped his gentle pull of me through the water, and his shoulders tensed as his brow slammed down. “Don’t say that. You aren’t broken.”

“Aren’t I?” I snapped back as anger, shame, and hopelessness fired through me all at once.

I quickly took a deep breath and closed my eyes in an effort to push the feelings back down. I couldn’t let them take over. I couldn’t let that voice grow louder. I wanted—no, I needed —to give another voice attention.

It was a voice that had been craving attention since it gained notice after kissing Perseus. Not only had I liked the kiss, but I craved more . Did I know what that “more” was? No, but I was eager to find out. I wanted to see if this part of my life was yet another thing Drake had stolen from me, or if I’d managed to hold onto it, to hold onto the desire I had for my demon.

“I want to try something,” I whispered.

Perseus didn’t say anything. He waited, seemingly for me to reveal whatever I needed from him. Rather than explaining it in mere words, I let go of his hand and waded back in the water, putting space between us. I grabbed the hem of my floating shirt and pulled it off. The wet fabric smacked against the water’s surface before sinking to the bottom.

The water where I stood reached just beneath my breasts, which hardened as the cold air hit the now bare skin. Perseus’s attention locked on my naked torso, and his chest rose and fell hard. Hunger clouded his eyes, and that look had my own toes curling, because he looked like my Perseus again.

No sooner had the lust entered his gaze that he exhaled hard and turned his head away.

Frowning, I walked through the pool to get closer to him. He breathed harder, and his jaw ticked. Still, he didn’t move. He kept his gaze fixed on a distant mark as I stopped directly in front of him.

“Look at me,” I ordered.

The muscles in his shoulders tightened, but he slowly turned to look down at me, though his eyes never dropped lower than my own.

“You say I’m not broken,” I observed, reaching out to trail my hands up the sides of his neck. “Then don’t treat me like I am.”

I tugged him down and kissed him softly. His slight resistance was still there, but when I deepened the kiss, that rigidity left him. He kissed me as his arms wrapped around my lower back. I waited for that burst of alarm to form since our bare skin was touching, but that flare of panic never came. What did wash over me was a fierce rush of desire, one so strong it nearly made my legs wobble. I needed him. I wanted him. That desperate hunger had my body pressing against his torso. His hard and muscular frame against my naked breasts made a small groan of delight leave my lips.

The sound seemed to encourage him, or maybe he could sense how much I liked what was happening because of his Incubus abilities. Regardless of the reason, he moved his arms from my back to cup my butt and hoist me up in the water, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist.

The hard dick confined in his swimming trunks pressed against my parted legs. With a hard jolt, I froze and briefly left the swimming pool, finding myself back in that ballet room.

Perseus tensed under my legs and arms, which were now wrapped around him in a startled vice-like grip. He immediately broke the kiss to look at me. “Let’s stop. You—”

“No,” I cut him off with a firm shake of my head. That desire, that burn for him, was still there, dueling for dominance with the icy alarm of memories. “I want to do this! You can sense that, can’t you?”

He frowned and hesitantly admitted, “I can, but I can also sense your fear.”

“Exactly,” I whimpered, imploring him to hear me as my gaze bored into his. “And now I’m supposed to stop because of that fear? I’m supposed to give up on my pleasure, your pleasure, our desires, because that nightmare is trying to resurface? I can’t do that.”

I ducked my head and shook it harder before looking at him again with desperate tears in my eyes. “If we stop now, he’ll win, Perseus. He’ll still have power over me. He’s dead. He’s gone. Yet he’s still here .” I placed a trembling hand on my head as a single tear rolled down my cheek. “I don’t want him to have power over me anymore. I don’t want him continuing to control me when I’m free .”

He held my stare for many silent moments, and I refused to break that connection, not when I needed him to understand how much I needed this. Finally, he held me tighter as he walked us out of the pool. He set me on my feet by a cushioned lounger before sitting back on it and spreading his legs on either side of the chair. He fixed his heated stare on me.

“Take what you need from me,” he offered. “You control what happens right now. How much we do and what we do.”

Skin heating at the idea, I let my eyes roam over his wet bronze skin and taut muscles. The heaters warmed my own flesh, making it prickle, and my nipples hardened all over again. The bulge in his wet swimming trunks was impossible to miss, and I licked my suddenly dry lips in anticipation of seeing it.

I shed my underwear and stood there so his eyes could drink in my naked body. I was exposed, vulnerable, and baring myself to him in a way that had been abused by another. I expected the sense of shame and embarrassment to fill me, and perhaps, they did to some degree. I just couldn’t properly feel those ugly emotions, because another feeling was so much stronger.

Desire.

When Perseus’s sensual green eyes swept over me, every inch of that skin burned with a need for his attention. After being dormant all this time, the fierce want almost knocked the breath right out of me. Like a fish on a hook, I went to him and sat between his legs. Facing him, I opened my own to drape them over his thighs. He sucked in a sharp breath as my core spread, glistening with the evidence of how much I wanted this—wanted him .

“Goddamn, Harper,” he growled, gaze transfixed on my pussy.

The husky words only made the fire between my legs intensify, and I bit my lip as I pushed them open wider. Part of me wanted to grab him and get him inside of me, but I worried that quick impulse would trigger unwanted thoughts, undoubtedly taking me out of the moment. Even though I wanted this, I had to be smart about taking it. I needed to work myself up to that point. And that was by doing something I hadn’t done since before .

I kept my eyes locked on his handsome face and leaned back on one hand. My free fingers gingerly roamed up my leg and inner thigh. Shivers erupted along my body, and the deep sound of his groan only made that wicked desire spike inside of me, even as old feelings tried to wiggle loose in my head.

“It’s just you,” Perseus choked out, seeming to sense what was happening in my mind. “It’s just you here. Just us. You’re safe.”

You’re safe.

The words pushed back the visions of Drake’s hands on my thighs so that I could focus on this moment with my own. My fingers brushed back and forth along my bare skin, and I held my breath as I became accustomed to the feeling of hands touching me, even if they were merely mine.

I trailed them to my center, and ever so slowly, touched the wet lips at my core. A shaky breath escaped me. My eyes fluttered shut as I ran my finger up the seam, reminding myself that it was only my hand.

Just us.

Perseus, my sun, was right here, watching me brave pleasure for the first time. I opened my eyes once more to fix them on him. His attention was trained on my hand, and his bare chest rose and fell hard like it took all of his power to stay absolutely still and not rush to claim me.

His restraint in the face of what he desired most actually made the sweet hunger heating my core stronger. Right now, I was the one in control. I could make him wither in hunger without giving him an ounce of pleasure, and he’d accept that torment with a smile. I could drive him wild and allow him to cum if I chose to. Everything was my choice, and that made me powerful . That was something I hadn’t felt in so fucking long.

With a mischievous smirk, I pushed my breasts out as I swiped my finger over my clit. The instant jolt of pleasure had my legs, which were still draped over his thighs, trembling and a gasp leaving my lips.

“Fuck,” Perseus hissed between gritted teeth.

He inhaled deeply, like he was savoring the smell of my desire and letting it soak into his very being. When he exhaled, his human guise disappeared. Darkness swirled in his green eyes until the black orbs with their red slit watched me. His black horns jutted up from his wet blond locks, and his black-clawed fingers curled where they rested on his thighs near my legs.

His reactions had always been a drug of mine. I got high off his blatant lust for me, his awe of me, and his need for me. The fact remained true now as I rubbed and circled my finger through my aching center, teasing my clit, and basking in the electric pulse that soared along my spine. I gathered the shining evidence of my own want and swept my fingers down to my entrance.

At the first sign of my finger pushing inside, my body reflexively locked up. Flashes of a foreign body invading me appeared in my mind, and panic climbed up my chest.

“You’re safe, Harper,” Perseus declared, his clawed finger crooking beneath my chin. He held it there to force my eyes on his. “You’re safe.”

I let out a weak breath. The warmth of his finger under my chin infused me with strength while his words became my shield. The combination gave me enough courage to slowly push my finger inside. I clamped around the digit but didn’t stop, shaking when the first wave of pleasure hit me. That initial dull throb of delight made it easier to pull my finger out before sliding it back in. My lips parted, and my head lulled to the side as I found a rhythm that slowly dissipated the dark memories and replaced it with a needy hunger for more.

“That’s it,” Perseus cheered me on roughly. “Take it back. Take your pleasure back. Take your power back.”

I gasped, my hips bucking to meet my finger as I added another without hesitation. No other thoughts had a chance of entering my mind right now, not when I was chasing this sweet feeling and needing to be filled harder and deeper.

“More,” I begged.

I wasn’t sure if the word actually slipped out or if I’d simply thought it. All I knew was I needed more . My few fingers weren’t enough to get me where I wanted to go.

I withdrew my fingers and pulled my legs back as I got on my knees to grab his swimming trunks. The moment I reached for them, he snapped his clawed fingers, making the trunks vaporize into shadows that disappeared. His hard cock rested proudly against his taut stomach. My mouth watered at the sight of Perseus’s bare flesh, which was completely naked now. My core pulsed with greed for him.

I moved quickly while still fueled by that fervent hunger to reach my peak. I straddled his hips while he leaned back against the pool lounger, letting me control everything. I reached between us to grip his hot and heavy shaft, relishing in the velvety weight of it in my palm. I positioned it at my entrance and carefully sank onto the tip.

The fullness already stretching me open had me freezing yet again, but it was no longer flashes of memories in my head.

I was thrown back in time and shoved into that useless body that was unable to fight against Drake as he forced me to accept him. I was back to screaming internally and resisting with every fiber of my being while my outward body did the opposite. I was back in the nightmare, alone and broken, eyes closing in anguished defeat.

Two warm hands gently cupped my cheeks, and my blurry eyes opened a crack. Perseus’s black-and-red eyes held mine where I laid lifeless on the ballet floor, and his thumbs stroked my cheeks. “Stay here with me, Harper. I’m right here. It’s me.”

Perseus. It’s Perseus.

I sucked in a hard breath. The ballet room around me slowly crumbled brick by brick, and the vision of the monster at my back vanished like smoke on the wind until I found myself outside on the patio. There wasn’t a body at my back as I lay motionless, and there wasn’t the pain of someone forcing themselves on me.

It was just me and Perseus with the moon and stars shining down on us.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I whispered, “Don’t let go.”

“I won’t,” he promised, caressing my cheeks with his clawed fingers.

I sank a bit deeper onto his shaft, focusing on the slight shiver in his shoulders and near-shuttering of his eyes. “Say my name, please.”

“Har—”

“No,” I cut him off breathlessly as I pushed lower. “ Your name for me.”

His full lips lifted faintly into the hint of a smile. “Goddess.”

A warmth zipped up my spine as I seated myself fully onto his dick. I braced my hands on his chest, my nails scraping his defined pecs. I allowed myself a moment to get used to having someone else inside of me. I traced Perseus’s face to remind myself that it was only him.

“Goddess,” he repeated softly.

I lifted my hips and dropped them again, sending a burst of euphoria racing through my body. The small moan Perseus released was music of the greatest kind, and I became eager to hear it, just as I was eager to feel that sweet heat at my core.

I rolled my hips and used his chest as leverage to aid in my movements. The chords in his neck stood out even as his hands remained gentle on my face.

“Goddess,” he rasped as I rose and sank onto him again.

My gaze traced his parted pink lips, the flushed golden skin of his cheeks, the perfect ridge of his nose, his masculine jawline, and his perfect otherworldly eyes. Every little detail went together to create the man beneath me, the man who cared for me when I didn’t have the strength to do it, who remained patient with me as I turned his company over on its head, who held my hand as I waded through the dark.

He was my demon. He was my peasant. He was mine , and I …

“I love you,” I whispered.

He froze beneath my palms and stared up at me. The confession had been brewing inside of me for some time, and while I hadn’t meant to say it now while I was trying to overcome my fears, the truth couldn’t be held back anymore.

When Perseus finally moved again, it was so his lips could lift into a smile brighter than all the stars above us combined. “ S’agapo .”

My eyes widened, and it was my turn to freeze. The familiar phrase shot straight into my heart and burst like a series of fireworks. It was only then that I realized what he’d already confessed weeks ago. When I was less than pleasant to be around, he still wanted me. When I was the reason he was in pain, he still pulled me closer. When I was at my darkest and lowest … he still loved me.

A small laugh left me, and I grinned down at him as tears filled my eyes. “ S’agapo .”

I leaned down to kiss him. The sweep of our lips and tongues were slow and tender, matching the way I rode his cock. His hands stayed on the sides of my face, and mine remained on his chest, magnetized to the feel of his wild heartbeat under my palm. We gasped and breathed in the other’s sounds as my hips brought us both closer to that place we sought.

It was far from the filthy, raw, and hungry sex I typically loved, but for tonight, it was perfect. When we both finished and remained as we were, our foreheads pressed together and arms wrapped around one another, I found no old monsters coming to plague me. I found no self-hatred or shame in what I’d just done. Because it had been with him, and he …

He was my safety. He was my home. He was my sunshine.