Page 36 of The Devil and His Goddess (Sinners Do It Better #2)

Perseus

“HOW MUCH LONGER DO YOU think it will be until she starts to feel better?” Aiysha asked me, cradling her head in her hands.

The two of us sat on my couch after Harper had excused herself back to our room. With Harper gone, my appetite for dinner left, too. The three dinner plates on the table were still practically full of the chicken, potatoes, and kale as no one could find the will to eat tonight.

“I wish I knew,” I answered weakly. “I wish I could … I don’t know. Take all of her pain away. Trade places with her. Give her a reason to live. Fucking anything .”

Aiysha swiped under her eyes, clearing them of the tears before they could come. “I thought with it being close to Christmas, her spirits might lift just a little. It’s her favorite time of year. But … it doesn’t seem that way.”

I let out a shaky breath, remembering the brief sparkle that had lit up Harper’s eyes as she’d talked about her favorite holiday. For that fleeting moment, Harper had started to come back. She had almost reached the surface when the darkness dragged her back under the turbulent waves.

I looked around my vast living and kitchen space. The room was grand in its design while simple in decor. What it wasn’t was decorated for the upcoming holiday. I never gave the time or energy into any holiday, but …

“Aiysha,” I called over to her as an idea popped into my head.

The dark-skinned human met my gaze.

“I might have an idea,” I hedged. “I don’t know if it will help her, but anything is worth trying. I’ll need your help, though.”

She listened as I explained what I had in mind, and the more I talked, the more her own face lifted with renewed hope. She eagerly agreed and immediately shot to her feet, impatient to get started on her part of the plan.

I was excited, too, but I couldn’t seem to gather the same wind in my sails as her. As she left and I cleaned up the kitchen alone, the weight of Harper’s suffering continued to press into my chest and shoulders.

What if this new idea didn’t work?

What if it only hurt her more?

What if I hurt her with all of my stupid attempts at helping her?

I couldn’t stomach it anymore. I couldn’t bring air into my lungs, couldn’t find the ability to think, couldn’t come up with an answer as to what to do. My head spun with my own lack of energy as I stumbled through my quiet house. I barely recognized the sound and feel of my phone vibrating.

“Hello?” I answered weakly, clutching my pounding head in my hand.

“Pers,” Zagan responded on the other end. “Can you come over? There’s some stuff we all need to talk about. The others are already here.”

I didn’t respond. The lump in my throat had grown too large. I hung up and stepped through shadows, coming out on the other side in Zagan’s windowed ballroom. The four demons waiting there turned to me just as my legs gave out, and I sank to the ground like a man who’d finally reached his breaking point.

Because I had.

I broke apart.

“Perseus!”

My name came from three of the four demons, but I barely heard them past the pounding in my skull or rushing of blood in my ears. Everything inside of me snapped into fragments.

“Fuck, man,” Dante gasped as he dropped by my side.

“What the fuck happened?” Xander demanded as he grabbed my shoulders and knelt in front of me.

“Pers, talk to us,” Zagan snapped frantically as he got on his knees at my other side.

My eyes burned as I squeezed them shut. The broken shards of myself tore at my throat as I revealed the pieces for all to see.

“I don’t know what to do,” I growled, taking in a hard breath. Shaking my head, I repeated roughly, “I don’t know what to fucking do! Harper is hurting , and I—I don’t know what to do .”

Dante, Xander, and Zagan were quiet as I shook and splintered into despair before them.

My demonic form came out as I lost the strength to hold it back, and I raked my clawed hands through my hair to tug on the roots. “I should’ve stopped him. I should’ve fucking stopped him. But I was such a fucking idiot, thinking he had no real power. A human like him wouldn’t dare go up against a demon . I thought being a demon made me stronger than him.”

“We are stronger.”

At the sound of Coldin’s deep timber, I looked up. He stared down at the rest of us on the ground. The Letum demon wore a blank expression as he restated, “Demons are stronger.”

I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath. “I thought so. I mean, we have the power of Hell on our side. We have all these great abilities that make our strength far greater than anything a human could do. I thought I was stronger. Until I realized that power means nothing when the person you care about gets hurt. Because you thought wrong. Because you were arrogant. Suddenly, you’re the weakest one in the entire goddamn room.”

Coldin’s pierced lip twitched in the start of a confused frown, but his indifference won out, keeping his face blank.

I dropped my head again, plagued with guilt and questions that couldn’t be answered. For all of my demonic power, why couldn’t I stop this? Why couldn’t I protect her? Why couldn’t I take her pain away?

What was the good in being a demon if I couldn’t even save the person I loved?

“I don’t know what to do,” I whispered weakly.

A small footstep into the room had us all looking up at the doorway. Iyla hesitated at the entrance, her sad brown eyes locked on mine. She worried her lip for only a moment longer before crossing the room to me. She joined Xander in front of me and took one of my clawed hands in both of hers.

“You don’t have to do anything,” she answered. “Just … Just be there for her. Having someone there,” she glanced at Zagan and held his gaze for a moment before meeting mine again. “Having someone there that cares means more than you realize. Sit with her in the silence. Listen when she can speak. Hold her when she needs it. Cherish the moments when she is present. Remind her that she isn’t facing the storm alone.”

I stared at Zagan’s bond, who released my hand and hugged me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and squeezed me tightly. My eyes widened as I stiffened in her hold, but she didn’t let go. She squeezed harder, and the three demons around me followed. Xander pulled my head down to wrap his arm around my head, burying my face in his neck while Dante gripped my shoulder and Zagan held my back.

Suddenly, the tightness that had been my constant companion all this time broke. I let go. I released the agony and helplessness. I sagged and leaned into all of them as tears silently fell from my eyes.

I’d never cried in all of my years on Earth. To be honest, I didn’t even know I could cry. Yet the tears fell freely now, and the weight on my chest eased with them.

All I had to do was continue being there for Harper. It sounded so simple and like it wasn’t enough, but maybe it was really all she needed. She needed to know she didn’t face the darkness alone.

Just as I didn’t, either.

“THERE YOU GO,” DANTE SAID as he helped me sit on Zagan’s couch. His dark eyes looked me over, and his frown deepened. “When was the last time you ate?”

“I’ve been asking that for at least a week now,” Xander noted as he studied me with narrowed eyes.

Zagan appeared with Iyla, who offered me a glass of water.

I accepted the drink and downed all of the refreshing beverage before finally answering, “It’s been over three weeks.”

“ Three weeks ?” Dante yelled disbelievingly. “No wonder you look like shit. You need to eat. Now .”

“Yeah,” I chortled gruffly. “I’ll get right on that.” Letting out a deep sigh, I looked at Zagan. “I’m sorry for distracting everyone. You called us here for something?”

Everyone faced our band’s leader, who nodded slowly, like he, too, just remembered that fact. Dante and Xander sank down on either side of me while Coldin leaned against the adjacent wall. Zagan stood near the coffee table while Iyla sat on the edge of the arm chair and fiddled her hands in her lap.

“Is this about Babette?” Dante asked.

I raised a confused brow. “Babette?”

“He made a deal with her, so Iyla chased him to Hell with my assistance,” Dante answered like it was no big deal.

“ What ?” Xander and I boomed at the same time, looking between the trio in question.

Zagan rolled his eyes and massaged near his eyebrow piercing. He quickly caught Xander and I—apparently the only ones who didn’t know what the fuck was going on—up on the events of the past two days.

In an effort to save Iyla’s little sister, who knocked on death’s door, Zagan made a deal with the Bargainer demon, Babette, who saved the human in exchange for Zagan. In a wild turn of events, Iyla followed them into Hell and just barely managed to get Zagan back.

Xander let out a low whistle. “Didn’t know you had it in you,” he said to Iyla with an impressed smirk.

Her cheeks grew pink. “Me neither.”

“That brings me to a couple of things,” Zagan said, drawing our attention back to him. “One: Hell’s Gate is searching for new management, because I had Coldin kill Babette.”

“Nice,” Xander snorted.

“Coldin killed her?” I asked with a glance at the impassive drummer. “Then that means—”

“Drake will have to wait another month,” Zagan finished my thought for me with a nod.

Letum demons who were under lock and key couldn’t kill freely. If they could, the world wouldn’t have anything living left on it. All those demons thought about, all they did , was torture and kill. They were bringers of death and destruction.

To contain them, they were either kept locked up in Hell or in some sort of contract on Earth. Coldin was of the latter group. He was under a contract that allowed him to wander around with us, though it came with restrictions. He could only kill once a month and with our permission.

Exceptions were made if he was called in on a job for the big man, which he just had been. The kills ordered by the Prince of Darkness didn’t count toward his limit, which was why he enjoyed getting calls from Hell in between the meals we gave him.

If he’d just killed Babette, that was his one. Now we’d have to wait another month for my complete revenge to come to fruition.

I stared at my hands and tried not to let the disappointment consume me. “Another month of life for that fucker.”

“It won’t be pain free,” Zagan vowed.

“Yeah,” Dante agreed as he clapped a hand on my shoulder. “Think of it as another month of torture before he’s handed over to the real monster.”

We all looked at Coldin, who stared at his feet, his unruly brown hair hanging close to his green eyes. Even as fellow demons, none of us could imagine the thoughts, urges, and ideas that bounced around that head of his. He might look calm and detached, but we all knew the truth. We knew what Letums were capable of. Just thinking about Drake ending up in Coldin’s hands made me shiver with eager delight.

The conversation moved on to Eden and her attempts to help out at Hell’s Gate while new ownership was figured out. That got some chuckles out of us as we pictured the sporadic, energized demon fumbling about to handle the club. We’d probably return to find the red-and-black color scheme changed to pink-and-gold.

That news wasn’t near as interesting as what had happened to Dante. He’d apparently found a new toy named Serenity, and considering the demon rarely declared prolonged interest in humans, that intrigued me. Though, I was too drained to tease him about it.

Instead, I silently listened to the rest of the group gossip and watched Zagan move to the chair Iyla sat in. He hoisted her up easily before taking her seat, letting her settle back in his lap. His fingers mindlessly coasted up and down the side of her hip. Her own body visibly relaxed while she leaned into his hold. It was clear the two of them were at home in each other’s arms.

The sight made the lump rise in my throat all over again. Confiding in my friends and being here with them had helped alleviate the weight from my chest, and Iyla’s words had given me some shred of an answer to hold onto. Seeing the two of them now reminded me of my own home.

I needed to get back to her.

With a quick goodbye to the band and Iyla, I transported back to my house through shadows. My girl was still in the exact spot she’d been in when I left, and while I wanted to heave in defeat at the sight, I kept my footing. I braced my shoulders and crossed the room to lie down on the bed beside her.

Her blue eyes, full of buried sorrow, met mine. Instead of trying to force a fake sense of normalcy or cheer, I slid my hand across the blankets to gently intertwine our fingers. I squeezed her hand to let her know that I was here, and I would wait for her to come back to me whenever she was able.