Page 58 of The Crown of the Last Fae Queen (The Heartless and the Wicked #4)

Her lips moved against his slowly; for a moment, he appeared too surprised to do anything, but it only lasted a few seconds.

Desire ignited between the both of them.

His hands went to her waist and he pulled her closer, while she dragged her hands through his soft hair, tousling it with her fingers.

Her eyelids fluttered shut and heat pooled in the center of her belly, clashing with his wintry touch.

She wanted to lose herself to him. She wanted to be closer. She wanted all of him.

The emptiness in her chest, the confusion, the guilt—all of it vanished as he filled her thoughts. His touch sent a coolness throughout her body that rendered her anxieties to nothing.

Their kiss intensified, and the corner of her eyes prickled with emotion.

Blár pulled back just as she leaned closer to him. A protest was nearly on her tongue as he stared at her with a quizzical expression. His ice-cold eyes flicked from her eyes to her lips and back again. He cupped her cheek with one hand and swiped a stray tear with his thumb.

“Why are you crying?” His voice came out low, hoarse.

She blinked away the gritty sensation of her oncoming tears. “I’m just … emotional.”

“Why?” The desire on his face became muted, replaced by worry. “Did I?—”

“No.” She placed a finger on his lips. “I don’t want to think about what will happen tomorrow.

Or the future. Or … or what decision I’ll make.

I don’t want to be plagued with confusion, and conflict, and unease at whether or not I’m making the right decision.

But if there’s one thing that I know for certain, it’s that I want you, Blár. ”

They both stared at each other for a moment, and Kolfinna’s cheeks blazed with heat all of a sudden at the admission.

They were already sitting on her bed, and she wondered briefly if the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind, but then the corners of his mouth rose devilishly, and he leaned closer to her until his soft mouth grazed her sensitive ear.

“You will be the death of me,” he murmured.

“ B-Blár .” Her blush deepened.

“I want you, Kolfinna. All of you. Every inch of you.” Blár grasped the end of her white hair between his fingers, and his eyes gleamed with unspoken words.

Long ago, she would have thought only fury and cruelty danced within the icy depths of his gaze, but now she saw tenderness there—tenderness that was locked on her.

And with it, she saw his desire. The longing.

“I will create a future for both of us.”

“ We will create that future.”

He nodded. “Yes. We .”

Then he was kissing her again. This time, gently.

Her eyes drifted shut and she kissed him back, even as a part of her wanted to curl up against him and cry for the uncertainties that plagued her.

She wished that they could be together like this again, and again, and again.

But she pushed those thoughts away and focused on his hands as they traveled from her hips to her back.

Her skin rippled with heat and ice, her breath coming out shuddered.

She threw her head back and his teeth grazed against the column of her throat. A moan escaped her lips, and she froze at the unexpected sound, a blush spreading over her face. Blár chuckled softly, his tongue flicking out against her skin.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed with me.”

“I’ve …” She licked her lips. “I’ve never done this before.”

Blár tilted his head to the side, blue eyes intense. “Neither have I.”

“You …” Her eyebrows came together. He was Blár Vilulf. Handsome, powerful, coveted—she had seen the way the women in the capital had looked at him. It was hard to imagine that he … had never been with anyone like this before. “But …”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, no. Of course not.”

She grasped his face lightly, memorizing his face, before leaning close and kissing him again. “It makes me feel at ease,” she murmured between kisses. “To know that you’re … mine. Completely.”

Their kiss became more passionate. More fervent.

Like it would be the last time they would be together again.

And maybe it would be—Kolfinna had no way to tell the future.

It was what made the whole night so bittersweet; the thought that she might be making a decision that would alter their future together, for better or worse.

But at least she would be in his arms. At least she could have this. Have him .

Kolfinna pulled away from him reluctantly, her breathing ragged as she took a step away.

He sat on the edge of the mattress, his hands curled on the edges, his eyes glazed with need.

The first few buttons of his shirt were undone, and she could see the hard, muscular planes of his chest. She wanted to run her hands over him, to explore him.

With trembling fingers she undid the lace of her dress and pulled it down until it pooled at her ankles.

She tentatively covered her breasts with her hands.

Blár’s mouth parted, his eyes trailing down her body.

She stared down at her feet, her insecurities rearing its ugly head within her.

What if he thought she was ugly? What if he didn’t like her body?

What if he thought she was too big? What if?—

Blár gently grabbed her wrists and placed them on her sides. She blinked up at him. He was so tall she had to crane her neck up to stare. Or maybe it was hard to see him as someone at her level when he was so beautiful. When his body was so sculpted. When he was … perfect.

He kissed her roughly, and she gasped against him, her hands splaying on his chest. When he pulled back, there was a feral need in his eyes that wasn’t there before.

“I need you to understand that you are perfect.” He wove his hand into her hair and tilted her head until their foreheads were pressed together. His body was flush against hers. “I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t want you.”

“But I’m not …” She glanced away, feeling more vulnerable than before.

Suddenly, she was back at the Royal Guards.

She was subjected to the laughter. The bullies.

The relentless comments about her body. Her uncertainties rose again, and she stiffened.

She had never done anything like this before.

Never laid herself bare like this—both physically and emotionally.

“Kolfinna?” His voice, tender and full of emotion, shattered through the haze of her darkening thought. He framed her face with his hands. The desire in his eyes lifted to unveil his concerns. “You do realize that I find you beautiful, right? Just the way you are. I always have.”

Her eyes lined with unexpected tears. “But … I’m not … particularly thin.”

Blár grabbed her hips and a slow smile curved his face. “I’m aware. Didn’t I tell you before that I love your curves? You don’t need to feel insecure around me. You’re beautiful.”

Heat rose to her cheeks.

As if for emphasis, he leaned forward and brushed a kiss against her throat. “You’re perfect. Your body is perfect .”

Then they were kissing again, their hands traveling over one another.

Blár ripped his clothes off at some point, too, and then they were on the bed together.

Kolfinna had never thought she would ever feel as comfortable in her own skin, in her own body, than she did in that moment.

Not just because he found her desirable, but because she found herself relaxing with him.

And she realized she had truly found someone who wanted her. All of her.

I love you, Blár .

She wanted to tell him, again, but she couldn’t find her voice. Not with the impending thought of what would happen next between the fae and the humans. What her decisions would do to them.

That night, she gave herself to him completely. And she hoped, with all her heart, that it wouldn’t be the last time.