Page 27 of The Crown of the Last Fae Queen (The Heartless and the Wicked #4)

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything.” Tears filled her eyes and she quickly blinked them away. “I was scared that if I told anyone that … that I would be killed. I didn’t know if you would look at me the same way if you knew.”

He didn’t say anything, only stared at her. She couldn’t read his expression, but she could tell by the way he was gripping his bicep that he wasn’t pleased. Maybe he was trying to rein in his emotions, to keep from snapping at her. She wasn’t sure.

“Blár, please say something.”

“It’s hard to say something.” He blew out air.

“It makes me feel … like absolute trash that you thought so little of me. That you thought I would be shitty enough to put you in a situation where you could die. We’ve been through so many life and death situations, and to know that you didn’t trust me to help you?

It leaves a bitter taste in the mouth, to say the least.”

“It’s not you,” her voice came out small. “I’m not used to trusting anyone. I’ve been running my whole life, Blár.”

“I understand.”

“No, you don’t, and you never will.”

His eyes narrowed.

“You’ll never know what it’s like to have hide yourself at all times.

Do you know how many fae told their supposed loved ones that they were fae, and were killed the next day?

How they were hunted down like livestock?

Do you know what it’s like to be on the run your whole life?

I pray you will never understand.” She rose up to her feet, the stone floors freezing her toes with every step as she drew closer to him.

She stopped when she was a foot away. “I’m sorry for not trusting you, Blár. I should have told you.”

They both stared at each other and she hated the uncomfortable tension thickening between them. This was supposed to be a happy reunion, she told herself. What if this was too much for him? What if he decided he didn’t want to save her anymore?

She hesitated. “Will you still take me away from here?”

The look on his face morphed immediately, from shuttered emotionlessness to shocked betrayal, and then anger.

“You still don’t trust me? I risked my life to come all the way here to save you, Kolfinna, and you …

you think I’m going to leave you because of a disagreement between us?

Do you think that poorly of me?” He pushed himself off the window sill, his hands clenched into fists.

Kolfinna flinched back, her body tensing. “No, no, I … I’m sorry.”

He opened his pretty mouth like he was going to say something, but then gritted it shut and turned to stare out the window again. The muscle on his jaw jumped, and she hated that she had caused all of this.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated, softer this time. “I’m not used to any of this.”

“Any of this?” He glanced back at her, the hurt clear in his arctic eyes.

“Any of this. Friends. Having people care for me. Not having to watch my back every second.”

“I think I made it rather clear that you’re not my friend.

” Blár’s words came out harsh even though he stepped closer to her.

A coldness burst from him that sent chills down her spine.

When she instinctively backed away, he closed the distance, his figure looming over hers as he snaked an arm around her waist, yanking her against his body.

She stifled a gasp as her hands splayed over the hard, solid planes of his chest. He leaned down, his forehead pressing against hers.

Anger and desire swirled in the depths of his icy eyes.

“You are more than a friend to me, Kolfinna. I thought you knew that.”

“I …” Her mouth suddenly went dry as she gaped up at him.

“I don’t care if your hair is white, if your ears are pointed, or if you sprout wings on your back—you are mine .

” His lips crashed against hers and she forgot how to breathe.

She returned his kiss slowly, unsurely, because she had never kissed anyone before—except him, but their shared kiss last time was a blur.

Her eyes fluttered shut and she moved her hands to hook around his neck, an excited tremble running over her body at how flush they were against one another.

She had dreamed of this. Kissing Blár. Countless times.

She inhaled the sweet scent of vanilla, and spice, and winter.

A fervent desire overtook her and her mouth parted for his.

He pulled her closer, their bodies melding against one another.

One of his cold hands trailed up her spine, and then back down again.

She had missed him— oh, how she had missed him .

Tears clung to her lashes as she ran her hands over his chest and his strong arms; she wanted to explore every inch of him, to touch him like he belonged to her.

A moan escaped from her, and Blár wove his fingers into her hair, tilting her head back as his mouth moved down to her neck. His teeth grazed against her sensitive flesh and she held onto him tightly, breathlessly, as he peppered kisses along the column of her throat.

A muffled noise made them both still. It was like ice-cold water dousing the flames of her desire. She jerked her attention to the door at the same time Blár did, his body shielding her. Moments passed, but nothing happened.

“She must have bumped into something,” Kolfinna whispered.

Blár continued staring at the door, as if someone would enter immediately. His body, which had been flush against hers, was now tensed and ready to spring forward. She could feel the air stirring around him, the temperature dropping. “How many people are guarding you?”

“Two. Wait, no. One.” She ran a quivering hand over the crumpled skirt of her nightdress. “I think it’s … Yrsa’s turn tonight? I don’t really remember.”

“ Yrsa ?” Blár made a disgusted face as he turned to her. “ She’s here?”

“Oh. Well, yes.” There was so much they needed to catch up on; they needed to review how much each of them knew, and fill in the blank holes.

Kolfinna didn’t want to talk about plans, however. She wanted to kiss him more. She wanted to close the distance between them and stay in his arms forever. She wanted to forget all their problems and just … exist with him.

He must have seen the longing on her face, because he cupped her cheek gently, the look in his eyes finally softening. “We will have time for ourselves soon. We first need to make a plan to get you out of here.”

She nodded, her throat thickening with emotions. She had expected as much. “How did you arrive here?”

“There are only a few places the fae have captured, and this seems to be their stronghold. Gunnar snuck in yesterday, pretending to be a Ragnarok member—it’s the only way humans are allowed here. He found out you were here, too, so he relayed it to me.”

Kolfinna blinked at him. Gunnar was here? She hadn’t seen him anywhere, but then again, she hadn’t been allowed out of this tower room.

“But I arrived here only a day or two ago, and I was on a dreki,” she said. “How were you able to catch up so fast?”

“Moving an army to one location will never be faster than a determined man riding alone as fast as he can.” There was a hint of teasing in Blár’s voice, but it disappeared just as quickly.

“We stormed the fortress you were held in, but we were a few hours too late. And then we headed out where we thought you might be. Lucky guess, I suppose. It was either here or the capital.” Her jerked a thumb at the window he had crept in from.

“So these runes stop you from escaping this tower?”

“Yes …” She had tried putting her hands through the bars earlier that day, but as if there was an invisible barrier, she hadn’t been able to move them outside. “The runes stop me from using magic and from escaping. They’re too powerful for me to break, either.”

“We should try to practice like last time, when you used my mana to break the runes.”

“I don’t know if that will work,” she said truthfully.

“I suspect Vidar made these runes, and he’s stronger than both of us, so I don’t think—” She clamped her mouth shut when a dark look passed over his face.

No doubt he didn’t want to be reminded of his defeat against the half-elf.

“We should try, but maybe it’ll become easier once I become stronger. He’s having me practice magic.”

“Why would he do that?”

“So that I can be strong enough to wield the D?d Svaerd. ” Kolfinna shivered at the memory of the cursed sword.

Her hands grew clammy and she rubbed them against her thighs, her steps carrying her to the window, where a gust of wind breezed through the unbarred opening.

From further into the room, it didn’t even look like the bars were missing, since the runes were still held in place, glowing gold.

She brushed her hands over the tiny frozen shavings of the metal bars Blár had broken.

Her gaze travelled to the star-speckled night sky.

“He wants me to free the queen, and the only way to do that is through the sword. I broke the seals on his armies by simply wielding the sword; I don’t know if doing something similar will free the queen. They … they have hopes for me, Blár.”

She could feel him watching her, but she didn’t dare turn around to look at him, for fear of what she might find—pity, perhaps, but maybe anger. And she wasn’t sure if she was ready to face his ire; not directed at her, but at her kind. At the fae, at the elves, at everyone she should hate.

Fear shuddered through her, wrenching deep inside her with icy fingers. “I’m terrified, Blár. I don’t want to free the queen, and I hate that … that the fae, that my people, have been driven into this corner. I’m an enemy to my kind.”

“Kolfinna …”