Page 47 of The Consequence of You (Heathley Academy #2)
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
ASHER
E ven when I’m not moving, every part of my body aches. I know how lucky I am to have come away with a couple of broken bones, but I feel like I went twenty rounds with Tyson Fury. There’s not a single part of me that isn’t tender this morning.
Callie passes me some painkillers and a glass of water as I cautiously sit up in bed.
She’s dressed in one of my cashmere hoodies and a pair of my socks. The jumper is huge on her and hits mid-thigh.
Her silky hair is tucked behind her ears, and the look of concern on her face is adorable. Swallowing down the tablets with a swig of water, I put the glass down and pat the bed next to me. She sits down hesitantly, looking like she’s scared of hurting me.
“Callie. I’m fine. Seriously. Stop worrying.
” I’m an insensitive prick. Her mother died in a car accident, and I’m telling her not to worry.
Maybe I just need to show her instead. I pull off my t-shirt and throw it onto the floor, ignoring the screaming pain in my ribs as I do it.
This is more important. Taking her hands, I place them on my bare chest.
“What are you doing?” she whispers. I guide her hands over my abs and pecs slowly.
“I’m showing you how okay I am.” She takes her time, and once she completes her examination of my body and sees I’m still here, albeit a little battered and bruised, she eventually relaxes.
The painkillers have already started to kick in, and alongside her gentle touch, I can’t feel any effects of the accident at all.
I was so fucking lucky last night. I know that. It could have ended a hell of a lot worse than it did. When you truly have something worth losing, it changes your perspective on everything. My days of racing are over.
The only high I want to chase is here, in front of me, and she’s finally stopped running.
CALLIE
After another dose of painkillers, Asher is out for the count, so I throw on my jeans and call Rossi to pick me up.
I bump into Sebastian as I’m leaving and he assures me he’ll keep an eye on Asher for the rest of the day.
Satisfied the man I love is in safe hands, I climb into the passenger seat of Rossi’s car and ask him if he minds taking a detour on the way home .
Ten minutes later we pull into the quiet cemetery, and I walk the familiar route to my mother’s grave.
The white flowers Luca brought here yesterday, bloom even brighter today.
The sunshine is unseasonably warm for January and the ground is dry, so I sit down cross-legged on the narrow path next to her gravestone.
The conversation I had with Papa and my brother feels like it happened a lifetime ago, when in reality, it was little more than twenty-four hours since we got everything out in the open.
Usually when I visit Mama, my heart is heavy with guilt but today it feels a tiny bit lighter.
I don’t think it will ever truly go away, that feeling of wishing I’d done things differently.
Regret about that night will always be there, but I’m determined I won’t let it dictate my future in the way it’s dictated my past.
Asher was right when he said my mother would not have wanted me to live like I have been, terrified of making a mistake, or feeling too much.
She gave me and Luca a perfect childhood, one filled with a million perfect moments.
She was one of the most joyful people I’ve ever known, and I can’t bring her back, but I can try to emulate the kind of life she led.
I was so terrified of losing Asher yesterday, but I was even more terrified of losing him without ever having let myself love him in the way he deserves to be loved. In the way we both deserve to be loved.
Leaning back on my outstretched arms, I close my eyes and feel the warmth of the winter sun on my face. I spend the rest of my morning telling Mama about Asher. About the man who I’m irrevocably, and undeniably, head over heels in love with.
She listens quietly while I tell her about all the little things I love about him, and the bigger things, like the way his voraciousness for life is as vibrant as hers was.
I tell her about the man who was determined to restart my heart, when I wasn’t even aware it had stopped beating.