Page 44 of The Consequence of You (Heathley Academy #2)

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

CALLIE

I yank off my clothes and throw them into my washing basket.

I’d woken to find someone had already removed my jeans, but the rest of what I had on, I’d been wearing since yesterday, and it was not smelling that fresh right now.

My memories of getting home last night are a little hazy, but I do remember spilling everything to Asher.

I also remember him telling me none of what I said changes how he feels about me.

In a different world, that would be enough, but it doesn’t change anything. Not really.

In five or six years, I’ll be married to whoever my father chooses for me. There’s no more future in a relationship with Asher than in the one I had with Nico.

I throw on a clean hoody and pyjama shorts so I can go and get a glass of water from downstairs. My head is banging from last night’s tequila. Opening my bedroom door, I run straight into my brother.

“Shit. Luca, sorry. I didn’t see you there.

” He’s dressed casually in jeans and a sweater, but he looks like he needs to go back to bed.

He’s pale and there are dark bags under his eyes.

“Are you okay?” I’d already sent him and my father a text to apologise for last night, and they’d responded saying it was fine, and they’d see me in the morning, but Luca looks like he’s barely slept. “What’s wrong?”

“Will you get dressed? We’re going out.” Before I can ask where, he stalks off down the hallway.

Half an hour later, I’m showered, dressed and putting a coffee in a to-go cup when the kitchen door swings open. I expect my brother, but it’s Rossi.

Grabbing a mug from the cupboard, I fill it with black coffee, before stirring in two heaped spoonfuls of sugar and passing it to him. He takes a long drink. My bodyguard needs his caffeine hit as much as I do first thing in the morning.

I slide onto the stool next to him. “I’m sorry about last night. I was really upset after Papa and I argued, but I still should have told someone I was going out. I am sorry for any worry I caused.”

“I don’t need your apologies, Miss Callie. I was worried when I didn’t know where you were, but truthfully? I was glad to see you acting like a normal young adult, for once.”

It doesn’t escape my notice that my bodyguard’s words echo Asher’s.

“What do you mean? ”

“Maybe it’s not my place to say.”

“No, please carry on.” I don’t know where this is going, but it’s clear Rossi has been holding back on me.

“Since your mama passed, you’ve been withdrawn.

It’s a normal part of grieving. I know that.

But the last few months, it was like your fire has been reignited.

You’ve been coming down the stairs with a smile on your face.

You’re drawing again. You’re laughing and enjoying your life.

Sneaking out of the house? That’s normal behaviour for a nineteen-year-old, Miss Callie. It is.”

Rossi has been my personal guard for years now, and while he’s always maintained an extremely professional relationship with our family, you don’t spend as much time in each other’s company as we have without getting to know each other pretty well.

As much as I know he’s getting paid to be here, I know he cares about me. Just like I care about him.

He’s just said he’s fine about it, but still my stomach churns with regret. I’ve snuck around before and look how that ended.

“Rossi, I–”

Before I can offer another apology, the kitchen door swings open again. This time it is Luca.

“Let’s go.”

One of the family cars is idling outside, and as we approach, I realise Papa is in the driver’s seat. Luca holds the rear door open for me before he walks around the other side and gets into the passenger seat.

The two of them talk between themselves as I gaze out of the window at the passing countryside.

Ten minutes into the journey, I realise where we’re headed.

My father pulls into the cemetery and parks by the gate.

I’m so used to coming here with Rossi, it didn’t occur to me that Papa and Luca would want us to come together.

Luca opens the boot of the car and retrieves a beautiful bouquet of white lilies. Papa stops and lights a cigarette.

“You two go ahead. I need a minute.”

Luca and I walk over to her grave in silence. He stoops down, and I watch as he opens the bouquet and arranges the flowers in the vase built into the gravestone. He takes a small bottle of water from his pocket and pours it in.

As he stands, he pushes his hair out of his eyes.

“Four years. Feels like yesterday, doesn’t it?

” I realise with a pang of regret that this is the first time he’s been in this country on the anniversary of Mama’s death.

Before I can say anything, he continues.

“Do you remember that game we used to play? Where we’d dress up in Mama and Papa’s clothes and do impressions of our teachers?

She’d be in fits of laughter. Fuck, I miss her laugh.

” He chokes back a sob, and I can barely stand it.

“Luca…I…” The apology I’ve owed him for four long years sticks in my throat. The night she died, I told him over and over how sorry I was, but that was the last time I apologised. And he never demanded one from me again.

I don’t even know where to start, so I just mumble, “I remember. She’d say she was going to give us a score out of ten, but it was always ten.” He laughs, and for a few seconds, I’m back there, our beautiful mama watching us, the years falling away.

We spend the next few minutes talking about her, and it feels good. But when the conversation stops, the shame returns. How can he bear to be around the person who killed his mother? How can he bear to talk to me at all ?

I turn to walk back to the car and give Luca some privacy, but I run straight into Papa.

“We need to talk, mia cara.”

My father doesn’t look angry, but his tone is solemn, and I wonder if he saw Asher dropping me off last night. I had already decided I need to explain to him about what’s been going on the last few months. I’d not lied about it, but lying by omission is just as bad.

“Papa. I need to tell you something. You asked me if I was friends with Asher Pennington. We have been seeing each other. I should have been more honest about it when you asked me a few weeks ago, but I was denying it even to myself. I just wanted to let you know I’ve ended it with him.

I know in the next few years I will be expected to marry.

I understand the expectations on me and our family, and I have already let you down enough. I promise I won’t let you down again.”

“Let me down? You’ve never let me down, sweet Calliope.”

“But isn’t that what you wanted to talk to me about? Me seeing Asher?”

My father shakes his head.

“No. I wanted to tell you, my beautiful daughter, I could not be prouder of you and the young lady you have become.”

“You’re not disappointed that I snuck around again, just like with Nico?”

“I wish you felt we had the type of relationship where you could share these things with me. Your mother and I had always hoped for that.”

“But, but… I will have an arranged marriage. Surely you don’t want me seeing other men? ”

“Who said you’d have an arranged marriage, mia cara?”

“It’s the tradition. You and Mama had one, so did all our aunts and uncles, and our grandparents before them.”

“Yes, it was the tradition, but you’ve seen how we tried to create a more modern life for you and Luca. I’m working hard to legalise our businesses, to move away from the traditions of our families.” I shake my head in confusion.

“But you and Mama, you had the perfect marriage. Yours was arranged. Why would you want something different for Luca and me?”

My father walks over to Mama’s gravestone and places his hand on the cool marble. He smiles wistfully.

“We did have the perfect marriage. It would not have been possible for me to love her more.

But we were extremely lucky. We fell in love almost the moment we met.

It had nothing to do with the arrangement; maybe it was serendipity or fate, or just the stars aligning at the right time, but essentially, we were just two teenagers in love, and we created a wonderful family together.

Your mother and I believed in love , not arranged marriage.

That is what we want for you and Luca, wherever you find it.”

Luca steps towards me. My gaze swings between him and Papa in disbelief.

“It’s true, sorellina. Every girlfriend I’ve had, Papa has known about it. He’s never judged me. He wants me to be happy. He wants you to be happy.”

I can’t believe I’ve never had this conversation with Papa before. He’s clearly had it with my brother. I can’t be mad about it, though. He’s been in Sicily avoiding me.

As if he can read my mind, he steps towards me again .

“Callie. We brought you here today so we could apologise.” I frown. What would they have to apologise to me for? Luca steps forwards.

“After Mama died, I was angry.” He rubs at his chest.

“You had every right to be.” I think back to all the nights he drank himself into oblivion. “And I understand why you can’t forgive me for what I did.”

“You misunderstand me. I was angry at the man who was driving the car. At the paramedics who didn’t save her.

At Papa for being in a different country.

At you for not answering your phone. I was mad at the whole fucking world.

But it was a part of the grieving process.

I’m not angry now. I haven’t been for a long time.

I miss her. So goddamn much. But I’ve made peace with it. ”

His eyes are glassy and he swipes at them with the back of his hand.

“I’ve been happy the last few years. Genuinely happy, and naively, I told myself you were, too. It didn’t occur to me that you felt like this. I’m so fucking sorry, sorellina.”

Before I have time to fully process my brother’s words, Papa speaks,

“I have not been a good father to you. I have been absent more than is acceptable.”

“Papa. I understand. I wouldn’t want to be around me either. Not after I ruined everything for you.”

“I don’t want to hear you say that ever again, child. You didn’t ruin everything.”

“You have just said how perfect your marriage was. You had everything, and my lies ruined it. If Mama hadn’t come looking for me, she’d still be alive today.

” A sob bursts from me and once the tears start, they don’t stop.

“I am so sorry, Papa. Luca. I wish I could go back and undo it. I wish I’d never met Nico, I wish I’d done everything differently. I'm sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Dropping to my knees in the damp grass, I weep. Unable to control the emotion I’ve buried for the last four years. My father kneels beside me, grasping my hands in his.

“Stop, please stop, mia cara. I don’t blame you.

It was not your fault. You were being a normal teenager.

If we’d have done a better job, you wouldn’t have felt the need to sneak around.

If I’d been home that night, I’d have driven to Nico’s.

If the weather had been different that night, maybe the other driver wouldn’t have lost control.

The man was elderly. He had dementia, and if he’d had family around him, perhaps they would have realised and stopped him driving.

There are any number of things that, had they happened differently, may have had a different result. But they didn’t.

That is life . That is the way the world works, Callie.

It’s what I believe, and it’s what your mother believed.”

He pulls me to standing and leads me to her grave. He takes my hand and traces my finger over the engraving. The one that matches my tattoo.

“She believed we should live our lives to the fullest because you never knew what would come next for any of us.”

“But –”

“No. Let me finish. Your boyfriend. He told us some home truths last night, and I am truly ashamed of myself. It should not have taken some little punk turning up at my house for me to realise it. We are the ones who owe you an apology.”

My boyfriend? Asher spoke to my father? Before I can question it, Papa leads me to a nearby bench, and the three of us sit down.

“These thoughts of yours should never have been allowed to take hold in this way. We should have had this conversation with you a long time ago. At first, it was just too hard to talk about. I threw myself into my work. I let Rossi and the team care for you as it was too hard.” He looks between my brother and me.

“You are both so like her. You share so many of her features and the things about her I loved. I saw them in you, and it hurt.”

Luca puts his hand on Papa’s back as he struggles to compose himself.

“But none of that is a good enough excuse to have missed how you’ve been feeling. At the bare minimum, I should have insisted you carry on with the therapy, but I didn’t even do that. It’s unforgivable and your mother would be ashamed of me.” A tear tracks down my father’s cheek.

He doesn’t blame me? He doesn’t resent me?

“You forgive me?”

“There is nothing to forgive, my child. I can only hope you can forgive your dear Papa?”

“Ti perdono, Papa. Ti perdono.” I move closer to him and loop my arms around his waist as he holds me in a way I haven’t been held since childhood. Luca comes and kneels in front of us, wrapping his arms around us both.

Eventually we break apart and Papa breaks the silence with a question I’m not expecting.

“Tell me about Asher.”

“He’s very possessive.” Luca states, and Papa whips his head around to look at my brother .

“What do you mean?”

“He looked like he wanted to stab me in the eye with my desert fork when he saw us eating together a few weeks ago.”

“Is that true?” Papa asks, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. I shrug, recalling the day.

“I guess.”

“I like that. He wants to protect my little girl. What else?”

“We’re not together, Papa. I told him we don’t have a future.”

“That was before. But now you know there is nothing standing in your way, that changes things, yes?”

My father looks at me expectantly. I was so caught up in the heart-to-heart with my father and Luca, I hadn’t had a second to think about what it means for Asher and me.

Fear grips me.

What if it’s too late?

What if I’ve pushed him away one too many times?