Page 20 of The Consequence of You (Heathley Academy #2)

CHAPTER TWENTY

CALLIE

W iping my clammy palms on my skirt, I wish I’d left the past in the past. Nervous adrenaline has been coursing through my veins since we made arrangements yesterday.

Looking around the gallery, I search the crowd, looking for the familiar dark brown eyes belonging to the boy I once felt so strongly about.

He’s not here yet, which means I still have time to leave.

Pulling my coat tightly around myself, I stride quickly to the door, almost shoving past the smartly dressed men and women who are here for another reason entirely.

I’m about to reach for the door when it swings open towards me.

Fuck. It’s too late .

Nico is here, and I can’t avoid this moment any longer.

“Callie. ”

I’ve heard him say my name a thousand times before, but now it feels wrong falling from his lips. This all feels so wrong.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have messaged you. I can’t do this.” My stomach lurches and I try to rush past him, but he lightly grips my elbow.

“Please Callie, I need this. Just give me five minutes.” His anguish is clear, and guilt hits me square in the chest. He deserves five minutes. Hell, he deserves a lot more than that.

Taking a deep breath, I let him lead me to a quiet corner of the room.

“You look well. How have you been?” His eyes search mine for several painful seconds as I consider how to answer. In the end, I settle on an apology.

“I’m so sorry, Nico.”

There is so much more I could say, but even if I spend the rest of the night apologising, it will never make up for the last few years. There’s a prickling behind my eyes and a tightness in my lungs. I need to leave.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“Wait.” Nico grasps my elbow again. “You can’t go, I only just got here.”.

“I thought I could do this. But I can’t.” I tug my arm away.

“It doesn’t need to be like this. Let’s have a drink and catch up properly.”

“I can’t do small talk, Nico.” He frowns at my abruptness, but I need to get out what I came here to say.

“The reason I asked you to meet me was so I can tell you how sorry I am. I should have done this a long time ago. God knows you tried to keep in touch, but I couldn’t see you.

It was too hard.” Smoothing down my skirt, I try to disguise the tremble in my hands.

“You’re here now. We don’t have to rush this conversation. Why don’t we just take a minute?”

But I don’t want to, so I shake my head.

“The truth is, I will always associate us with what happened. I think about us, and all I see is blood on my hands. It’s not your fault, so please don’t think that’s what I’m saying.”

“Callie, I have thought long and hard about what I’d say if you ever agreed to see me. For a long time, I felt guilty for my part in it. But I had counselling, several years of it. And I know it’s not my fault.”

I step back, surprised at his words. I felt sure he believed I blamed him because of the way I cut him off. But then he continues, his voice soft and gentle, as though he’s trying not to startle a timid animal.

“It was neither of our faults. We were young teenagers. We had no idea what would happen. No one could have predicted it. You know that, right? You know it was just an awful accident that could have happened to anyone?”

My determination to remain calm is gone in an instant because he doesn’t understand.

He won’t ever understand.

“ Just an accident? It wasn’t just anything.”

His face drops instantly,

“Fuck, I didn’t mean that. I meant-”

I cut him off before he can carry on.

“It didn’t happen to anyone - it happened to her. The person I loved most in the world, and it happened because of me. I don’t blame you, Nico. I want you to know that. But I blame myself, because it was my fault. It was my actions. My lies. ”

Nico steps forward and gently clasps my trembling hand in his. His once familiar touch is alien to me. He means to comfort me, but instead I just feel colder. And when I look at him, all I see in his eyes is pity.

“It wasn’t your fault either, Callie.”

I could argue with him, but maybe I need to let him believe it because it allows him to sleep at night. I let out a long breath. For the first time since he got here, I truly take him in.

He’s no longer the good-looking teenager I fell for.

He’s handsome, but he’s a stranger. A grown man who, I have no doubt, has women falling over themselves to be with him.

What we shared back then was fun and addictive in a way only teenage lust can be.

At the time, I couldn’t imagine feeling any other way about him but seeing him today confirms any lingering feelings between us are gone.

That’s when it hits me. All this time, I’d been worried if we met up, I’d take one look at him and want him back. I thought seeing him would remind me how much I loved him.

But that isn’t the case at all.

Looking at him now, I realise it wasn’t really love at all, it was just a childish crush.

And the fact it cost me everything?

That hurts even more.

CALLIE - AGE 15

Nico peppered soft kisses across the back of my hand and up my arm until he reached my shoulders.

I erupted into a fit of giggles as his wavy chestnut brown hair tickled my bare skin.

I swore he got better looking by the day, and since our relationship became more physical, neither of us could keep our hands off each other.

We collapsed backwards on his bed. He grabbed his phone and held it above us, snapping selfies as we pulled funny faces. He flicked through the photos of us together; we looked good, like any other normal teenagers having fun.

But it wasn’t that simple for us. We both knew we shouldn’t be doing this. What if our parents found out?

Nico’s parents were also Italian and had resettled in England during his early childhood. Our parents had similar values, and both had arranged marriages. We knew it would be something expected of us one day, but it would only be with a family our parents had chosen.

We’d met in confirmation classes at our local church, and once they’d ended, we kept in touch.

We’d just turned fourteen. Neither of us had much experience of being around the opposite sex outside of school, and our hormones soon took over.

We exchanged numbers and occasional texts turned into late night texting marathons.

Eventually, we began sneaking around, telling our parents we were staying late in our respective schools for choir or cookery, or rugby, when in fact we were meeting each other.

Firstly, at the library, then the cinema, then at one of our houses when no one was home.

Tonight was New Year’s Eve and Nico’s parents were out at a fancy party in the city, so we had his house to ourselves.

Luca was off to Italy for two weeks work experience with Papa, and Mama was helping him pack, so she was distracted when I said I was going out.

She just nodded when I told her I was spending the evening with a friend.

We snuck a bottle of champagne and watched the fireworks erupt over London Bridge on the television. We’d fooled around in every room in the house, revelling in the romance, sparing not a single thought for anyone but ourselves .

Midnight had long passed, and we fell asleep on one of the large sectional sofas.

At 6am I woke with a stiff neck and when I saw all the missed calls on my phone, I knew I was about to get the biggest telling off of my life.

I called a taxi and was home by 7am, desperately hoping I could sneak in before anyone was awake, except when I let myself in the gates, there was a police car on the driveway.

Shit. It was worse than I thought. Mama must have been worried enough to report me missing.

My hands trembled as I let myself into the house to find two uniformed officers whispering in hushed tones into their radios.

The door opening caught their attention, and they turned to look at me.

They didn’t look relieved I was home, nor did they call out to Mama to let her know I was back.

Instead, they exchanged a look and said nothing.

I was in so much trouble.

I walked further into the silent house, slipping my shoes off before I headed into the sitting room to receive my punishment.

Deep down, I knew Nico and I were on borrowed time, but naively, I thought we’d have longer. Taking a deep breath, I walked in.

My brother was sitting on the sofa, another police officer sitting with him, both holding mugs of something steamy. Luca’s head lifted when he realised I was here. His face was ashen and his eyes rimmed with red, and I would remember the look on his face for as long as I lived.

It was one of utter devastation, and I knew instantly, this was far worse than I could possibly have imagined.

One of the female police officers followed me into the room. She led me to the sofa on the other side.

“There is no easy way to say this, Callie. Your mother was involved in an accident in the early hours of the morning.” I gasped, looking at my brother in confusion.

Why wasn’t he at the hospital with her?

My head spun with questions, but in truth, I already knew the answer.

“Luca?”

He stayed silent, but tears began to track down his cheeks.

The policewoman took my hand, but I brushed it off and ran to the other side of the room.

I dropped to my knees in front of my brother.

Desperately wanting him to tell me this wasn’t really happening, that this was all some kind of fucked up punishment for my lies.

“Luca!” I clawed at his knees, begging him to deny it. But of course, he couldn’t. Instead, his silent tears turned to audible sobs and eventually heaving wails. I didn’t want to hear the words but until I did, I don’t think I’d fully believe it.

On shaky legs, I forced myself to stand and face the policewoman. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears as she confirmed what I already knew from the moment I saw Luca.

“I’m sorry to tell you, despite the emergency services’ best efforts, your mother did not survive.”

My mama, a woman so full of life, gone.

Just like that.

No warning, no build up.

Nothing.

Just gone from the planet.

“Where was she going?” I managed to choke out.

Sympathy flashed in the policewoman’s eyes. More than before even. She hesitated briefly, before taking a deep breath.

“According to your housekeeper, she went to check on you around 10pm, and you weren’t in your room.

” She flicked back through her notebook.

“We looked through her call logs. She called you several times. You didn’t answer.

She called a few of your school friends.

” I looked at Luca, tears blurring my vision.

He looked away, unable to make eye contact. That was the exact moment I realised it was my fault.

She was out looking for me.

She was dead because of me.

Our beautiful mother was gone.

Because of me.

There would be no coming back from this. My relationship with Luca was ruined. With Papa, too. They would never forgive me for this. I would never forgive myself.

I snuck around and lied, and it ruined everything. My actions destroyed our family.