Page 25 of The Comfort of Pain (The Black Market Omega #1)

Beth

The early morning sun streams through the living room window, bathing everything in a buttery orange glow. The kitchen is quiet. Everyone else is asleep.

Or at least I assume they are.

I left Killian and Basil in my nest. The pair were still passed out. I can’t blame them after our long night of sex and snuggles. I should probably be in bed too, but I’m too restless. It’s like I woke up with bees vibrating beneath my skin. I thought briefly of checking on Tristan and Jeremy, but it felt rude to just walk into the alpha’s room without being invited first. I’d be pretty upset if he did that to my nest.

I open the fridge and take out a carton of orange juice. The cool air fans across my face and I lean into it. This big machine is so weird. I mean, how does it create the cold? I understand creating heat—I’ve built many fires over the years—but how do you make cold?

Just then, Jeremy breezes around the corner. He looks cheerful as always in his pale blue pajama pants and soft white T-shirt. His hair is a wild mess and his eyes brighten when he sees me. “Good morning.” He smiles widely.

I immediately duck my head, feeling deeply ashamed for what happened last night. I’m so lucky no one got killed or seriously hurt…at least I think no one got hurt. I’m still not sure what happened to Tristan.

“Do you want some coffee?” Jeremy asks as he pulls a mug out of the cupboard. I’ve never had coffee, but I don’t care for the smell. It’s too sharp. Acidic.

“No, thank you.” I hold up the orange juice, showing him what I plan to drink.

Jeremy hands me a short glass, before turning to the machine that makes his coffee. I pour my drink, then stare at the side of the beta’s face. I want to apologize, but I’m scared it won't sound sincere. After all, I stabbed Tristan, tried to attack Killian, and I’ve demanded to leave this place multiple times since the moment I arrived.

He probably thinks I’m an awful person.

“How’s Tristan?” I ask, deciding to start there.

“Tristan?” Jeremy gives me a curious look as he dumps two scoops of what looks like crushed brown rocks into the machine.

“Killian mentioned that something happened to Tristan last night.” I squeeze my glass with both hands. “I don’t remember much. What happened to him?”

Jeremy’s expression brightens, and he smiles as if suddenly remembering. “Oh, he’s fine.” But his words come out weirdly stiff, making me think that’s not completely true.

I want to challenge the beta and insist he tell me, but I’m not in a position to demand anything. In fact, I probably shouldn't be allowed to leave my room. I glance down at my orange juice, and the first thought that pops into my head is to question if I’ll be allowed to eat today.

I know that’s stupid—this pack doesn’t do things like that—but I can’t help it. It’s like my body is programmed to think the worst.

Deciding to get what I can into my stomach just in case , I tip the glass and guzzle the whole thing in one go.

“Wow.” Jeremy laughs. “Thirsty?”

I nod, then pour myself another glass. But just before I can down it, Tristan appears around the corner. He looks tired—eyes puffy and shoulders curling inward. He looks like he didn’t sleep a wink last night.

“Good morning, alpha.” Jeremy leans away from the counter, trying to catch Tristan’s eye.

Tristan lets out a grunt before finally looking up. His gaze shoots from Jeremy to me, and his expression shifts. I can’t read the look in his eyes. Is he angry? Sad? Hungry?

“Morning,” I mumble, then freeze when Tristan marches straight for me. His fists are balled up tight, his eyes boring into my face. I want to back up, but I know in my bones he won’t hurt me.

“Beth,” he snarls, and I begin to tremble.

“Ah-alpha.” I swallow hard, prepared to grovel. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I shouldn’t have?—”

Tristan lifts both of his hands, holding them out wide. I squeeze my eyes shut tight, bracing myself. But then, massive arms wrap around me and I’m pulled gently against Tristan’s massive tattooed chest. He cradles me, pressing his cheek against the top of my head as he sways.

You knew he wouldn’t hurt you . The voice in the back of my head mocks my reaction.

“Thank the heavens you’re okay,” he whispers, squeezing me a little tighter. It’s a shockingly tender hug. Possessive. Maybe even scared.

“I’m sorry.” I wrap my arms around Tristan’s bulky ribcage, hugging him back the best I can with my juice in my hand.

The alpha’s big hands splay flat against my back, encouraging me to nuzzle him. Needing comfort, I rub my nose between his pecs, inhaling his smokey sweet aroma. I never realized how lovely bonfires smelled before.

“Is everyone feeling better this morning?” Killian’s voice breaks the silence, and Tristan slowly unfurls his arms. His hands travel up, cupping my face. His dark brown eyes hold mine for a second, and the urge to cry washes over me.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” His thumb brushes against my cheekbone. Then he abruptly turns, leaving me lightheaded and shamed.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Basil comes up behind Tristan. He kisses my cheek, then scents the top of my head. I can practically feel the tangles in my hair. It’ll take me forever to brush it out. “How did you sleep?” He holds the back of my head, cradling me.

It feels so… sweet .

“Good.” I force the single word from my tight throat. Don’t cry.

“I know it’s early,” Killian sits at his spot at the head of the table, “but I’d like to talk to you.” He’s staring right at me. And while his tone is as kind as ever, I can't help but think this is it. I’m going to be punished, and it’s about freaking time.

The waiting is killing me.

“Have a seat.” Killian motions to the chair next to him.

I hug my juice to my chest, and make my way around the kitchen island. Jeremy watches me as I go, but the beta isn’t smiling anymore.

Yup. I’m about to see how this pack really handles defiance.

Maybe another spanking?

I doubt it since it was so obvious how much I shamefully enjoyed it. But surely it won’t be much worse than that.

I hope…

I set my glass on the table, then sit. Tristan plops into the chair across from me, bumping the table. It makes the orange juice slosh, and drip down the side, rolling toward the table. I quickly pick it up and lick the side so it won’t make a mess, and Tristan’s eyes narrow. A heat builds between us as I slowly lower my glass back onto the table.

This isn’t the time for sexy thoughts! I yell at myself, then force myself to look directly at Killian.

“Why did you leave the house last night?” The pack alpha gets right to the point.

I glance back into the kitchen, looking from Basil to Jeremy. They both stay on the other side of the kitchen island, watching the conversation unfold. I wish they were closer. I feel like one of them would jump in if things got out of control.

They won’t get out of control. That voice keeps correcting my thoughts, trying desperately to reassure me.

“Beth,” Killian’s voice is soft but serious. “Are you not happy with us?” His brows raise, genuinely curious. “Can you not see how much we adore you?”

“I can see it.” I duck my head, feeling stupid all over again. “But…” I pause and touch the charm dangling from my necklace. “I miss my mom,” I say honestly, before glancing at Tristan. “I know I’m supposed to let my family go when I find a new pack, but I can’t. I refuse to just forget about her.” I stare at Killian, hoping he understands.

The alpha nods, his gaze drifting over the table in front of him. Thinking.

“Tristan?” He sits a little taller as if coming to a decision. “Will you take Beth into town today?”

The abrupt change in subject is jarring, making me frown. “You’re letting me go into town?” I cut in, not sure how that’s a punishment. Unless he plans to leave me there.

“Yes,” Killian says, before looking up at Jeremy. “We need to get Beth some clothes that actually fit.”

Jeremy eagerly nods, before giving me a very excited look.

“But…” Confusion twists in my belly. “But…” I try to gather my thoughts, trying not to believe this is a trick. “Why?” I ask, genuinely curious. “After everything I’ve done and said, why the hell would you take me into town or buy me clothes?”

“Because this isn’t a prison.” He plays on the words I said last night. “We’re a family, Beth. We all love and care for one another. We don’t hurt or control each other.”

Deep shame and regret twist in my gut, making me nauseous. “Please,” I beg, “just punish me already.”

Killian’s eyes go wide at my request, and Tristan snarls. While I can’t see Basil or Jeremy, I can feel their shock pulse in the air as well.

“I appreciate how understanding you’re being,” I say, trying to sound respectful, “but we can’t just ignore what I did. How I put you all in danger.” My fists curl as my emotions rise. “Please,” I whisper, trying not to cry, “just punish me, so I can feel better about this. Please.” Tears blur my vision, but I still hold Killian’s gaze, refusing to look away. I need him to know that I’m being serious.

“Beth,” Killian says my name as if devastated for me. I expected this reaction, but it’s still hard to hear the pain in his voice. “I hate what your family did to you.” Anger makes his mouth pull tight. “You shouldn’t need to be hurt to feel better about a mistake.”

I drop my head, making a few tears spill over. They run down my cheeks, then drip into my lap. “I can’t help it,” I mumble.

“It’s okay.” Jeremy sits in the chair next to me. “We’re all okay.” He wraps his loving arms around me, pulling me into his sweet lemon and sage aroma. I push my face into the crook of his neck, seeking more of that soothing scent.

“I’m sorry.” I sag against the beta. “Leaving in the middle of the night was really stupid.” I sniffle. “Someone could have been seriously hurt because of me.”

“But no one was hurt.” Killian’s voice is very close. I open my eyes to find him kneeling next to me. “Please,” he cups my cheek, “Don’t run off again.”

I nod, then wipe the tears off my face. “I won’t.”

Killian pushes out a long breath as his gaze drops to my necklace. I can’t tell if he believes me or not, but I refuse to ask. I don’t want to hear him say no.

“Let's get you dressed,” Jeremy changes the subject. The silence was clearly getting to him too. “We have an exciting day ahead of us,” he says to me with his usual vibrant smile.

“Do you want me to take the sedan or the truck?” Tristan asks our pack alpha.

I look between the pair, not sure what either one of those things are.

“Take the car,” Killian says. “I’ve got some errands to run. I need the truck.”

Excitement bursts in my chest, and I sit up tall. “A car?” I repeat. “I get to ride in a car?”

Killian smiles at my renewed energy. “You get to ride in a car.” He looks like he’s stifling a laugh, but I don’t care. I get to ride in a car!

“I’ve read books that have cars in them.” I squeeze my hands together, trying to contain my excitement. “The descriptions are always weird and hard to picture. A box made of metal and glass with knobs and wheels. It’s impossible to imagine.”

Jeremy lets out a laugh as he squeezes the top of my leg. “Well, then.” He stands. “Let’s get you ready so you can see what a car is really like.”

A car is like nothing I could have imagined.

The sleek shape is nothing like a box. It’s much smoother and weirdly shiny with four doors and firm chairs. Jeremy calls them bucket seats. But the best part is how fast it goes. The whole thing rocks and pops up as we drive over the uneven road. We’re going so fast I feel like I’m flying.

“We’re here!” the beta says as Tristan turns down a dirt road.

I try to lean forward, but the belt across my chest holds me in place. “Look at all the people,” I gasp, watching alphas and betas stroll in front of the long row of buildings. Most are two stories, but a few look to be three or four. “This place is massive.” I angle my head up, staring at the rows of little windows.

“We should take her into one of the cities.” Jeremy giggles as he slips his hand over my long braid. I’m glad he sat in the back with me. I’ve had so many questions, and it’s easier to talk with him right here.

“Beth,” Tristan looks at me through a little mirror hanging on the ceiling of the car, “You are to stay glued to my side. Understand?” His eyes narrow, deadly serious.

“Yes, alpha,” I say, determined to make him proud.

The first shop we go into is insane. Mountains of clothes hang from circular racks and are folded in neat stacks on little tables. Shirts and shorts and pants and skirts and sweaters and everything in between! It’s almost overwhelming the amount of colors and options available. Thankfully, Jeremy knows exactly where to go.

“These should fit.” Jeremy holds a pair of leggings up to my waist, leaning far back so he can judge the length. “Do you like the color?” He holds them up, and I nod.

“I like black.” I touch the buttery soft fabric.

“Perfect.” Jeremy sets them in Tristan’s basket. The alpha doesn’t react. He just stands there, quietly carrying the quickly growing pile of clothes. “I’m gonna get a few more of these.” He touches a flowy white top in the basket. “It’s one of the few things here that’s omega-made.”

I nod excitedly, but I don't follow the beta. Tristan didn’t move, so I’m not moving either.

“Are you having fun?” Tristan asks.

“Yes.” I stifle a squeal.

The alpha smiles widely at my reaction. It’s clear he thinks I’m cute, but that’s okay. I think he’s cute too. There’s just something about a mountain of a man carrying a tiny basket full of leggings.

“What did you think of the car?” he asks.

“It was amazing!” I say far too loudly, making a nearby shopper glance over at me. “My beta father once tried to draw me a picture of one,” I say a little quieter, “but it made no sense to me.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” He beams down at me, standing extra tall.

I take the chance to admire the alpha. He looks amazing in his tight jeans and smooth black T-shirt. The sleeves are a little short, displaying the black tattoos that twist all over his impressive upper arms. My eyes linger on the puffy red scar peeking out of one sleeve.

I did that.

I hurt him.

And if he had been a little shorter, I would have killed him…or I would have tried.

“I’m sorry,” I say softly as my gaze drops to Tristan’s bruised knuckles—reminders of last night.

“Yeah?” the alpha looks at me, confused. “For what?”

“For stabbing you.” I touch the scar on his arm, slipping my fingertips over the raised skin.

Tristan’s expression goes soft, and he gives me a half-heart shrug. “That’s okay,” he says like it’s no big deal. But I don’t really buy it.

“You aren’t angry with me?” I ask. “Not even a little?”

The big sexy alpha looks down at me with a glint of mischief in his dark eyes. “I don’t know,” his voice drops to a spine-tingling rumble. “Sit on my face and let’s find out.”

“Alpha!” I gasp, pretending to be scandalized, but in reality I’m thrumming. “Someone could have heard you.” I squeeze my legs together, fighting the growing heat in my belly.

“No one heard.” He leans down and scents the air around me. A delicious hum pushes from his chest and my nipples go hard. “And even if they did, who cares?” He slips his hand around my braid, tugging slightly.

“Stop it,” Jeremy says flatly as he steps up behind us. “You can sit on his face later,” he says, making it clear that everyone probably did hear.

I scan the area around us, devastated to see two alphas staring right at me. They narrow their eyes, studying my face. Judging me.

“What do you think of this for Basil?” Jeremy holds out his hand, showing me a silver pocketknife.

Grateful for the change in subject, I look it over, recognizing the design. “My brother had one of those,” I say. “The hinge used to stick all the time.” I push up onto my toes, looking to see where Jeremy got it.

The two scary alphas keep looking at me, but I pretend not to notice.

“Show me which one you like.” Jeremy takes my hand, tugging me forward. Thankfully, Tristan moves with us.

We look at the whole display of blades, finally settling on a practical, sturdy model. It’s not as fancy as some of the other pocket knives, but sometimes the best blade is the simplest.

“We have one more stop,” Tristan says after he pays with a piece of rectangular plastic. I just stare at it, not wanting the employee to know that I don't understand what it is or how it works.

We walk down the road, Tristan on one side and Jeremy on the other. I hold the beta’s hand, enjoying the cool afternoon air against my skin. I’m weirdly flushed, too hot. It must be all the new sights and sounds. I’m not used to so many people.

Tristan stops in front of a glass door, pulling it open for me and Jeremy. Looking around I can’t figure out what this place sells. There’s nothing here. No racks or shelves. No clothes or wares. There’s just a single counter with a gray-haired beta behind it. I look all around, realizing the walls are lined with little metal doors that all have keyholes in them.

“Tristan!” the beta greets him with a smile, shaking his hand. “How are things?” He slips his thumbs under his suspenders, pulling them out, then up. “Is everyone healthy?”

“We’re all doing great, Mr. Pornus,” Jeremy answers. “How’s Mrs. Pornus?”

“Ellie is fantastic.” The beta smiles even wider and deep wrinkles etch around his eyes. “What can I do ya for?” he asks Tristan.

“I need to send these out.” The sexy alpha pulls a few letters from his back pocket, sliding them across the counter.

The older beta happily takes them, placing them into a large metal basket on the floor behind him. “Anything else, gentlemen?” He looks from Jeremy to Tristan.

“I’m also wondering if you can help me find an address.” Tristan leans against the counter. I stare at his ass. It’s hugged just right in those jeans. A fresh wave of heat flashes and I clear my throat roughly.

“Of course.” The beta nods firmly. “I know everyone in these parts.”

“My omega wants to write to her mother, but doesn't know her parent’s address.”

I blink repeatedly, trying to process what he just said. “What?” I turn to Jeremy. “I can write to my mom?” I’m sure he thinks it's a stupid question, but I to make sure I heard him correctly.

“Yup,” Jeremy chirps.

“I’m glad to help, young lady,” Mr. Pronus squints at me, leaning in. “What’s your pack’s name?” He pulls a pair of glasses out of his breast pocket, pushing them up onto his very round nose.

“Burke Rasier.” I inch a little closer to the counter, resting my hands on top of it. “His mates are Tony Finish, Scott Doner, and their omega is Deanna.”

“I’m sorry, dear. I don’t know the Raiser pack.” But Mr. Pronus is still staring at my face. There’s a hint of recognition there. Like he’s trying to place me. “What’s your name?”

“Beth,” I say, wondering how that might help. No one knows who I am.

“Beth?” His magnified eyes study every inch of my face. “Oh.” The beta’s eyes suddenly go wide, and he snaps his head to Tristan.

“What is it?” the burly alpha asks.

Mr. Pronus presses his thin lips into a line, before pushing out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, Tristan.” He walks to one end of his little counter, reaching for something on a board. He pulls a piece of paper off a tack, ripping the top. “I think someone is looking for your girl.” He slides the piece of paper across the counter.

Tristan stares at it for half a second, but apparently that’s all he needs. “Shit.” His eyes snap to Jeremy.

“What is it?” Our beta asks.

But Tristan doesn’t say, he just hands over the paper. I stand on my tiptoes, leaning into Jeremy’s side as he reads it. And my heart drops.

Then there’s a picture of me. The only one I remember ever taking. I had just turned sixteen. I still pretty much look the same. My cheeks were fuller and my hair was shorter, but this picture is undeniably me.

“Who gave you this flier?” Tristan snatches the paper away from Jeremy, holding it up to Mr. Pronus. He sounds pissed, making me take a step back.

“An older alpha,” Mr. Pronus sounds sad as he looks down at me. “He said he was her father.”

Fear slams into me like a punch to the gut, and my hands begin to shake. If Burke finds me, he’ll kill Killian and his pack. I don’t care if he hurts me, but not them. They’re too good. Too kind. I would never forgive myself.

“When was he here last?” Tristan asks.

“Yesterday.” Mr. Pronus frowns. “It’s a shame when matings cause problems.”

Tristan shoves the paper into his pocket, then drops his voice to a rough whisper, “Can you do me a favor?”

“I won’t tell anyone about your omega,” Mr. Pronus says, saving Tristan the trouble of actually asking. “But I’ve seen this flier in a few shops around town.”

Tristan shakes the beta’s hand once more, then places his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “Come on.” He ushers us toward the door. “It’s time to go home.”

I should be relieved to be going home, but all I can think about is Burke.

What if he’s already found me?

What if he’s already at the house?

What if he’s killed Killian and Basil?

How will I ever forgive myself?