Page 18 of The Comfort of Pain (The Black Market Omega #1)

Beth

The paring knife has sat awkwardly in my waistband all damn day.

It threatens to cut me every time I sit, stand, or move too quickly. I need to stash it somewhere, as well as the granola bars I have stuffed in my pockets, but I have no idea where. It’s not like I have my own bedroom in this prison.

It also doesn’t help that I haven’t been left alone all day.

The alphas all wandered off upstairs not long after breakfast, but Jeremy has been by my side ever since. And I have to be honest, outside of being under constant watch, it’s been kind of nice.

I started off the day, forcing myself to laugh and smile, trying to be as bubbly as possible, but somewhere during the day, I found myself actually enjoying Jeremy’s company. He’s fun, and a bit brutal when it comes to sharing embarrassing stories about his pack.

And there have been many stories.

“Wait.” I stop Jeremy mid-sentence. “He fell asleep with the cock ring still on?”

“Yup.” The beta laughs with his whole chest, making me crack up too. “Tristan’s balls were purple by the time he woke up. None of us knew because we couldn’t roll the damn alpha. He was passed completely out.” He slices his hands through the air, before leaning in and adding, “The doctor said he was lucky he didn’t lose a testicle.”

“How did he put it on wrong?” I ask, both shocked and fascinated. While I’ve never seen the device before, Jeremy has done a very good job of describing it. In fact, he’s described a lot of things I’ve never heard of before now. I’m very intrigued to see how a garlic press works.

“Hell if I know,” Jeremy says with a little wave of his hand. “It’s called a cock ring. Not a cock and ball tourniquet.” The beta lets out a snort as he pulls his feet under him on the couch. “Tristan tried like hell to keep from going to the hospital, but Killian laid down the law. It was the only time I’ve ever heard Tristan use the age card.”

“Age card?” I ask. “What’s that?”

“Oh, you know.” Jeremy leans forward, picking up his cup of tea off the coffee table. “Tristan was saying that since he’s the oldest, he didn’t have to follow Killian’s order.”

“Wait.” I lean back, processing what he just said. “ Tristan is the oldest alpha? Not Killian?”

The beta nods, smiling as if he understands my surprise. “Yup. Tristan is thirty-nine, Killian is thirty-five, and Basil is about to be thirty-two.” He takes a little sip of his tea. “I know most pack alphas are the oldest in the group, but Tristan had no desire to be a pack alpha.”

My mouth falls open, shocked. “Well, in my experience, the older an alpha is, the less likely he is to do any listening.” I shake my head, thinking about all the stubborn alphas I’ve met in my short life.

“Tristan says he likes it too much when Killian tells him what to do.” Jeremy’s nose scrunches up, and I can only assume that’s a sex joke.

“Killian does like to give orders,” I say with a little laugh. And flashes of last night leap into the front of my mind—Killian’s commanding tone. The way he told me to spread my legs. The way he touched me. Kissed me. Ate me out. Fucked me.

As much as I refuse to admit out loud how nice it was, I can see why Tristan would like that.

“My beta father is older than both my alpha fathers,” I say, forcing myself to think about something else, “but not by much. He just turned fifty-five, and Burke is fifty-two.”

“Really?” Jeremy’s tone lifts, and now he’s the one that’s surprised. “I thought betas were always younger than their alphas.” His gaze drifts over my face, and I feel a question brewing in his mind. “I’m twenty-six,” he finally says. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-five,” I say, eyeing the platter of cookies on the coffee table. I’ve probably eaten a dozen so far, but they’re too good. Sweet and buttery, with thick pieces of sugar on top. My mother would never make something like this. She tends to hoard the sugar. It’s too difficult to find someone willing to trade for it.

“Twenty-five and never mated?” Jeremy asks and I nod. There’s no judgment in his tone. Just genuine curiosity. It makes me wonder if my fathers were lying when they said I was too old to be unmated.

Or maybe Jeremy is too polite to say it out loud.

He does seem very proper as he takes another sip of his tea. It reminds me of my own drink.

Leaning forward, I pick up my cup then I bring it to my lips, mimicking the way Jeremy is holding his little cup. It’s incredibly fancy. Fragile, tiny, and covered in little blue flowers. I hum when the dark liquid covers my tongue, loving the sweet floral taste. “This is really good.” I carefully set my cup on the coffee table, then reach for another cookie. A few pieces of sugar fall off, and I pick them off my lap, popping them into my mouth.

“Can I ask you a question?” Jeremy smiles but it’s almost pained. Whatever he wants to ask it must be deeply personal, or offensive. Either way, I’m dying to know.

“Sure.”

“You seem really articulate.” His tone is overly sweet, clearly not wanting to insult me. “The boys said you were a bit…wild.” He grimaces. “I thought you’d be more….” He trails off, not finishing his sentence, but I understand what he’s trying to say. The people at the Morder made it very clear what kind of opinions people have about Northern omegas.

“My mother was always determined that her kids would be able to read and write,” I say, thinking about a few of the wild packs that would come and visit with Burke. My parents would trade with them—collecting supplies in exchange for cheese or bread. They were bizarre people. Dirty. Scary.

“My beta dad, Scott, goes into town every few months,” I continue. “He always brings back books from the library.” Jeremy leans in as if I’m the most interesting person he’s ever met. “While there are a ton of things I don't know, I did read about a lot of stuff, so I know some things. Like about electricity and the fridge.” I glance back at the kitchen. “I had just never seen them in person before.”

“Did you live in a house?” Jeremy asks, and I laugh.

“I come from a normal family,” I assure the beta, and he covers his mouth with his hands.

“I’m sorry.” He hunches his shoulders up as if trying to hide. “I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“No need to apologize.” I wave my hand at him, making light of it. “I get why you’d ask.” My gaze drifts out the massive window, taking in the stunning view, then the colorful leaves on the oak tree. “My parents' home isn’t nearly as fancy as this one.” I look up at the tall ceiling and the little lights nestled around the beams. “They don’t have electricity, but I did grow up with running water.” I take a big bite of my cookie, humming as I chew . “A few of the houses down the gorge didn’t even have that.” I lean into the plush couch, getting comfy. “Those packs are very wild.”

Jeremy drops his hands, placing them both on my knee. “I'm still sorry.” He looks so sincere. “The boys made it sound like you were feral.” He rolls his eyes. “I was scared you wouldn’t know how to use a fork.”

“I mean, I did try to stab Killian with a fork,” I remind the beta, and to my surprise, he laughs.

“He would have lived.” Jeremy’s easy tone makes me wonder if Killian really was mad at me for lashing out at him. Or maybe he’s scared I’ll lash out at Jeremy.

“Is Killian like Tristan?” I ask. “Tristan seemed to like it when I stabbed him.” I pull a face, still not understanding the damn alpha.

“No one is like Tristan.” Jeremy laughs and it’s a wonderful sound, from deep within his belly. “He’s a little rougher than most alphas.” His nose scrunches up, his blue eyes sparkling. “He comes home with cuts and bruises on his knuckles all the time.” He rolls his eyes like it’s silly. “I’m convinced the brute goes out looking for trouble to pass the time, but I don’t know who he’d fight out here. All we have are tiny critters and the occasional deer.” He drops his voice as if sharing a secret. “He’s either punching the trees or starting shit with the squirrels,” his eyes narrow, “and my money is on those squirrels. Those little guys are vicious when they need to be.” He giggles again, and I can’t help but do the same.

The thought of Tristan with his big muscles and hard glare, wandering the woods, looking to fight wild rodents is too funny.

A loud bell rips through the house. I practically jump out of my skin, almost dropping my cookie. “What was that?” I ask, darting my eyes all around the room.

“The doorbell.” Jeremy squeezes my knee gently, before patting it. “There’s someone at the door. It’s okay,” he picks up a cookie, “one of the guys will get it.”

Fear slams into me like a punch to the face. I push forward and spin, staring at the hallway toward the front door. I know it’s stupid, but all I can think is that Burke is here. While I was eager to hurt this pack yesterday, Jeremy doesn’t deserve the kind of pain my father would inflict.

It’s one of the many reasons I need to leave soon. I really don’t want him to show up, looking for me, and for someone else to get hurt. I hate how impulsive I am sometimes.

The bell rings again and I slap my hands over my ears. It’s so loud.

“Hey.” Jeremy reaches for my wrists, trying to pry my hands away. “It’s okay, omega.” His head snaps toward the door, then he looks up at the ceiling. “I’ll be right back.” The beta looks deep into my eyes, almost as if making a promise. “Don’t go anywhere.” He scoots to the edge of the couch. “It’s okay.” He pats my knee again, then stands.

The second he reaches the hallway, I crawl to the edge of the couch and lean way over, watching carefully as he opens the door. Relief washes over me as the voice of an unknown female beta greets Jeremy.

“Get a grip,” I mumble, watching Jeremy chat politely with the woman. He laughs at something she says and smooths his black hair behind his ear. He looks so charming and even a little flirty. He’s a very good-looking man.

They all are.

“Get up,” I demand myself. “You have shit to do.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, I stand. The paring knife almost falls down the inside of my pants, but I manage to grab it before it slips too far.

“Okay,” I whisper, scanning the spacious room. “Where the hell can I put you?”

A small, cluttered bookshelf near the table draws my attention. I move to it, scanning the titles printed on the spines. I’m surprised to find that I’ve actually read a few. I guess my mother called them classics for a reason. I can’t help but touch the spine of one of my favorite stories. I know I’m wasting time, but I can’t help it. Linden gave me a copy of this book.

My sweet, wonderful Linden.

I wonder if he’ll forgive me for what I’ve done. I let another man touch me, and I liked it.

I liked it a lot.

Jeremy’s voice rises, almost defensive, as he tells whoever is at the door, “Thank you”.

Shit . I panic. Hurry !

Frantic, I run to the first thing I see that can hold the small knife—a giant, dark green vase. It sits in the far corner of the living room, near the dining room table. It’s about half my size, coming up to my waist. Thin, straight twigs jut out of it, but there’s nothing else. No water or pebbles. Just sticks. What a bizarre thing to own.

I push the knife between the twigs, then release it. It hits the bottom with a loud thunk , and I freeze. I pray to all that is holy no one heard that. When I don’t hear any movement, I stuff the granola bars inside the vase too.

Now, I need to find something to carry water in.

I glance back at the kitchen, positive there’s a bottle of some kind in there.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” Killian’s deep voice makes me jump as he strolls into the living room. I plaster a smile on my face, then turn to look at him.

Shit .

He looks unbelievable.

Snug jeans hug his thick thighs, and cozy socks cover his feet, but that’s all the alpha is wearing. His chest is stacked with lean muscle glistening with a thin layer of sweat. His dark blond hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, but a few strands fall into his face.

“Hey,” I say as casually as I can, but it’s difficult to think straight around his sweet, deep aroma.

“What are you doing over there?” He moves between the couch and the kitchen island, making his way to me. His hands look so big, hanging at his sides.

“It’s pretty.” I point somewhere behind me, complimenting the view.

Killian frowns as he looks past me. “The vase?”

I spin, then silently curse at myself for pointing at the damn thing. The last thing I need is to bring attention to it. I guess I should be thankful it isn’t see-through. “Yeah.” I turn back to the pack alpha, not sure what to say. “I’ve never seen a vase so big before.” A nervous laugh pushes from my throat and I touch the charm on my necklace.

“I guess.” Killian’s eyes narrow at the dang thing as if seeing it for the first time. “Jeremy picked it.” His dark blue eyes slide to me, and my face heats.

“My family doesn't really have decorations,” I babble, trying to figure out a way to focus on something other than the damn vase. “We only had necessities. But I did help my mother make little throw pillows last year. The fabric was an ugly orange color. It didn’t match the couch, but no one seemed to mind.” I tuck my hands behind my back, feeling very awkward.

“You made a pillow?” Killian’s brows raise as if pleasantly surprised by my talents. “I had no idea you were a seamstress.”

I can’t help but snort. “Not really.” I stare at the floor. This pack is very quick with their compliments. Either they’ve never met someone that can do basic tasks, or they feel sorry for me. It’s probably the second one.

“Will you come upstairs with me?” Killian’s hand comes into view, and I look up. He smiles sweetly when our eyes meet, and a shiver of something wild slips over me. “We have a surprise for you.”

My back instantly straightens as dread settles in my gut. I don’t want another surprise. The necklace is already too much. I don’t deserve surprises, especially when I plan on getting the hell out of here the second I have the chance.

“A surprise?” I ask, cautiously. “What is it?”

“You have to come and see.” He holds his hand out a little higher, urging me to take it. And I do.

His fingers are long and warm, wrapping around my hand completely. I walk right next to him, soaking up his whiskey and cherry aroma as we make our way through the house and up the stairs. I step into Killian’s room and am instantly greeted by Basil and Tristan. Both alphas are shirtless too. Basil's abs are on full display with sweat glistening across his pecs. And Tristan’s arms look like tree trunks with swirling tattoos covering every inch of his chest and stomach.

I hate how good they look.

Just think of Linden, I remind myself of my actual boyfriend. In a few days time, you’ll see him again, and all will be right with the world.

Flustered, I turn to the wall the alphas are facing. There’s a weird panel next to the armchair. If it had a doorknob, it would look like the entrance to a child’s playroom. I hadn’t noticed it before, but it looks so out of place in the otherwise sleek bedroom.

Please, don’t let this be a grand gesture.

“I’m here!” Jeremy rushes into the room, hugging a thick pink blanket tight to his chest. It looks very plush and fuzzy. I really want to feel it. “Sorry,” he apologizes to me.

“Are you ready?” Basil asks, his pale green eyes shimmering.

“Yup.” I touch the charm on the necklace and nod, feeling a little awkward.

“Here you go, omega.” Tristan steps forward and presses the panel on the wall. It pops, then swings forward.

And I suddenly can’t remember why I want to leave.