Page 24

The knock on my door was the loudest sound I’d ever heard. I knew right away who it would be: the person I most wanted and most dreaded to see. My hand lingered on the doorknob, my palms sweaty as my heart pounded against my ribs.

Man up, for fuck’s sake , I said to myself. You’re doing this for him.

When I opened the door, Tyler stood on my doorstep, cheeks rosy from the cold air, dark hair tousled from the wind. But he wasn’t alone; Finn stood beside him, looking like a deer in the headlights. I knew without even glancing back at Tyler that Finn knew everything. And he had every right to—a part of me was glad the secret was out in the open at last. It didn’t matter anymore, anyway .

“Hey,” Tyler said, pulling my focus back to him.

“Hey.” My voice sounded stilted, so I cleared my throat. “Er, come in.”

Tyler turned to his friend. “Could you leave us alone now?”

“Ty—” Finn started to protest, but Tyler cut him off.

“Please, Finn. I’ll be alright.”

The simple innocence of his words, the blind faith he had in me, made my chest tighten. His teammate, on the other hand, did not share it, giving me the stink eye. “Text me if you need me, okay?”

Tyler nodded and stepped inside my house, while Finn turned away to go. The last I saw of him before I closed the door was him lingering in my driveway. I smiled despite feeling like shit. I liked the kid; he was a good friend.

When I turned around, I found Tyler standing in my hallway, looking at me, his expression carefully neutral. There was an awkward pause, the air between us thick and heavy. When I imagined our reunion, I always pictured us running to each other, hugging and kissing to make up for the past few weeks we spent apart that felt like centuries. Not this .

“Er, how are you?” I said, my voice low and gruff.

“I heard you quit your job,” he said.

Right. No beating around the bush with him. Straight for the jugular, just like he was in the ring. My jaw tightened, and I rubbed my beard. “Tyler… ”

“What?” Tyler’s voice rose. “You couldn’t even say it to my face?”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I can’t… We can’t… keep doing this anymore.” I tried to hold his gaze, but the look in his eyes was breaking my heart. “It’s not going to work. I thought I could handle it, but I can’t. It’s not fair to you. And with Simmons back, I’ve decided to resign. It’s for the best.”

“For who?” His voice cracked, anger and hurt bubbling to the surface. “Because it’s sure as hell not for me.”

I looked away, my hands twitching. I couldn’t bear hurting him, yet I had to. “I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

He crossed the space that separated us in two steps, his fists clenching at his sides. “How about the truth, for starters? You’ve been avoiding me for the past week, acting like we were nothing—like it all meant nothing.”

My gaze flicked away, my lips pressing into a thin line. “It’s complicated, Tyler.”

“Complicated?” he laughed, though it came out sharp and bitter. “It’s been complicated since day one, but that didn’t stop you before! You’re the one who told me not to overthink things. To just let it happen. And now you’re pulling back, and I’m supposed to just… what? Pretend it’s fine?”

“Damn it, Tyler!” I moved past him and into the kitchen, because standing so close to him and not being able to hold him, to kiss him, was tearing me apart. He followed behind me, and when I turned to look at him, I couldn’t help raising my voice. “You think this is easy for me? You think I don’t want—” I stopped myself, turning and punching the fridge so hard the bottles rattled inside.

“Don’t want what?” he pressed, his voice also rising. “Me? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

I looked at him then, my eyes two dark wastelands. “That’s not it, and you know it.”

“Then what is it, Blake? Because I’m here, putting myself on the line for you, and all you’re doing is pushing me away.”

My shoulders slumped, the fight draining out of me. “I’m trying to protect you,” I muttered. “From me. From this.”

Tyler stared at me, his anger softening into something else—something raw and aching. “I don’t need protecting, Blake. I need you .”

I closed my eyes, my face a mask of pain. “You don’t understand—”

“Then make me understand,” he interrupted, his voice breaking. “Because all I know is that I’m in love with you, and it’s killing me to watch you act like this doesn’t mean anything.”

My eyes snapped open, and for a moment, he thought he’d said the wrong thing. But then I was moving toward him, my expression fierce. “You think this doesn’t mean anything to me?” My hands cupped his face, my touch almost bruising in its intensity. “You’re all I think about, God damn it! You’re in my head, my heart—you’re everywhere. And that scares the shit out of me.”

He seemed like he struggled to breathe. “Then why—”

“Because I’m a fucking mess,” I admitted, my voice cracking. “Because I’ve been hurt beyond mental repair, and I couldn’t survive going through something like that again. Because I spent the last three years running from things I can’t control. But you? You’re the one thing I don’t want to run from.”

Something inside him shattered and rebuilt itself in the same instant. He reached up, gripping my wrists. “Then stop running,” he whispered.

For a moment, neither of us moved. The air between us was thick with unspoken words, with all the fear and longing we’d been holding back. And then I leaned in, my lips crashing against his in a kiss that stole every thought from my mind. It wasn’t soft or tentative—it was desperate, like I was trying to pour everything I felt into that one moment. He kissed me back just as fiercely, his hands tangling in my hair as he pulled me closer.

When we finally broke apart, we were both breathing hard, our foreheads pressed together.

“I’m not letting you go,” he said, his voice firm despite the tears prickling in his eyes. “I don’t care how messy this gets, Blake. You’re worth it. ”

I let out a shaky laugh, my hands sliding down his body, holding onto him like a lifeline. “God, you’re stubborn.”

“Gets me what I want, doesn’t it?” he teased, though his voice was still thick with emotion.

I smiled then, a real, genuine smile that made my heart feel lighter than it felt in weeks. “Yeah. It does.”

We started kissing again, and then we were ripping the clothes off each other, the rest of the world fading away. This was it, I thought. This was what it felt like to truly love someone: intense, uncertain, terrifying. Yet it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. It was worth the risk of losing everything. After Jen, I’d thought it would never happen to me again; but here I was, head over heels for this person, this guy who had mended my heart and made it whole again. And as I steered him to my bedroom, I made a promise to myself, right then and there—no matter what the future held, I wouldn’t fear love .