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Tyler lay still beside me, my arms wrapped around him, his head resting on my chest. Silence descended upon us like a blanket. Both of us were still too stunned to speak, too amazed at what had just happened. It was the first time for me as much as it was for him. I thought I’d feel more conflicted about having sex with another man—guilty for betraying Jen’s memory, for sleeping with a student, for ‘turning gay.’ I didn’t. None of those things. The warmth of Tyler’s skin against mine felt right , comforting, and for the first time in years, I felt completely, undeniably alive .

“Hey,” Tyler said softly, lifting his head to look at me. “What are you thinking about?”

I managed a small shrug. “Just stuff.” But the truth was, looking at his pretty face so close to mine, all I could think about was kissing him. The weird thing was that it didn’t feel weird; it felt as natural as breathing.

“Please tell me you’re not spiraling.”

Pulling him closer, I planted a kiss on those ripe, tender lips as an answer. It was definitely different than kissing a woman; not better or worse—simply different. Like tasting an exotic fruit or discovering kissing for the first time. And once you get into it, you don’t want to stop. My cock hardened again as the kiss deepened, and I felt his erection poking at my thigh, leaving a slick trail on my skin.

Tyler’s hand closed around my shaft and he slowly started to jerk me off. His grip was firm, but his rhythm was measured, the movement of his hand unhurried and deliberate. When his thumb rubbed around the sensitive underside, my whole body shivered. Wow. The boy got moves. Who knew a simple handjob could feel so good? I hesitated for a moment, then took his cock in my hand and returned the favor. This was a day of firsts, and if I was going to do it at all, then I might as well go all the way. But any misgivings I might have had about holding another man’s penis were quickly dispelled, as Tyler moaned into my mouth, trembling from pleasure.

I broke the kiss and opened my eyes so I could look at him. His face was angelic, rapturous—a face of total surrender. I never imagined giving someone a tug could be so erotic. Yet looking at him as I jerked him off made me feel intoxicated with lust and power.

“You like that?” I said, my eyes never leaving his face.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “Your hand feels so good. I’m already close.”

Ah, to be so young again. “Come for me,” I prompted him, my hand picking up speed. “I want to see you cumming.”

“Oh God.” His voice shook as much as his body. “Blake—”

Then I felt hot wetness spill over my hand as he gasped, his brows furrowing slightly. I watched him going through his orgasm, his pleasure turning me on even more. Feeling my balls tighten, I began to fuck his fist, thrusting my hips fast so I could join him in ecstasy. Grunting, I nutted all over his hand and stomach, shooting over and over again, until both of us were swimming in semen. Three years of celibacy and now two times in a row. I guess I had some catching up to do. “Jesus,” I said at last, catching my breath.

He chuckled, then snuggled even closer to me.

“Sorry for the mess,” I said, looking at his cum-painted torso. The pearly liquid pooled in his navel and trickled down the ridges of his abs. Some of it even reached his chest, coating his nipples like icing on the cake. I had the strange urge to lick him clean .

“S’okay,” he said, rubbing my cum into his skin with languorous moves. “I want to smell of you the whole day. Fuck, I can feel it seeping out of my hole.”

I didn’t know what to say. My cock seemed to love the idea, twitching on my thigh like it hadn’t just shot its second load a moment ago. “This—” I began, then paused, words weighing heavy on my tongue. I was never good at sharing my feelings, especially when I had to open up about my past. I didn’t even mean to say anything; it was like the confession wanted to get out on its own. Tyler simply ran his fingers through the hair on my chest, circling my nipple, waiting for me to go on. I cleared my throat and manned up. “This is the first time I’ve been with someone since my wife passed away.”

I felt Tyler stiffen beside me, the weight of my words sinking in. “How long has it been?”

“Over three years.” There was more to say, much more, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not now. Not yet.

“But… what about Professor Richards?”

“We just went out once and decided to remain friends. Nothing happened. I—we—tried, but… it didn’t seem right.”

“Why not?”

Because I kept thinking about you. Because my cock got hard only when I was thinking about you. But I couldn’t say that out loud, could I? Facing my desire for him was hard enough—opening up and owning it scared me shitless. “I don’t know,” I grumbled, a taste of cowardice bitter on my tongue. “It just didn’t.”

He planted a kiss on my shoulder, nuzzling me before he spoke again. “Do you regret it? I mean, this… with me?”

“No,” I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper. I could at least admit that.

His eyes were searching mine, the look in them intense, full of things that terrified me, and I had to look away before he could see into my soul.

“Come on,” I said, clearing my throat and untangling myself from him. “Let’s eat. Finn must be wondering where you are by now.”

“He’ll think I went home with Chris,” Tyler said as he sat up. His focus shifted to the food, so he didn’t notice the ugly scowl on my face.

I heard myself growl, rising from the bed and turning my back to him. “Don’t mention him again.” I was never the jealous and possessive type, so why the fuck was I acting like a total caveman now? I couldn’t explain it. But the thought of another guy touching Tyler sent me straight into a murderous rage.

“Hey, nothing happened.” He stood up and reached out for me, wrapping his arms around my waist, his body pressed against mine from behind, warm and solid. “We exchanged numbers and promised to stay in touch—just as friends. ”

I turned around to face him, pulling him close. Mine , my brain screamed in silence. Our soft cocks rubbed together, the sensation tantalizing enough to quell most of my jealousy. He rested his palms on my pecs, caressing the dense fur and studying my expression. “I don’t like the way he looked at you during the match.”

Tyler couldn’t stop the laugh. “How did he look at me?”

“Like he wanted to eat you.”

“Yet you’re the one who got to do it.”

“Mmmh,” I only growled again, holding him tight as if to assert ownership. “And I’ll do it again. But right now—” I disentangled myself from his embrace and grabbed the plates with our food from the serving cart— “right now, we eat this.”

I put the food on the rumpled sheets and we hopped on the bed, facing each other, the plates balanced on our laps. And for a little while, all my worries disappeared. There was no future, no past. Only this moment, where we sat naked, Indian style, sharing our impressions of yesterday’s match between mouthfuls of toast and scrambled eggs .