Page 35 of The Captain’s Valentine (The “Other” Trents #3)

After two doctors agreed, and after Patterson had been settled into the set of rooms he kept in London, Harrison had to accept that he would be the one to sail to Barbados, Jamaica and back. The missive had already been delivered to his family and then he met with his crew and made the adjustments, temporarily promoting second mate, Peter Copper to Chief Mate, then went below to get settled.

“There is a woman to see you, Captain Trent.”

He turned from his desk to look at Third Mate Smith. “A woman?”

“Yes. She said that it was urgent.”

The only woman who would come to his ship would be…he could think of no one, unless something had happened to his brother, but a servant would have been sent.

He set his journal aside, rose and made his way to the deck only to discover Perdita, cloaked and carrying a valise.

As happy as he was to see her, he was more worried.

“What has happened?”

“I need you to take me to Barbados,”

she blurted out.

“Why the sudden urgency.”

Something had to have happened to make Perdita come to his ship, under the cloak of darkness, and near midnight. She was usually not so reckless. Anything could have happened to her.

He would like to hope that she did not want to be parted from him, but she was also not a person to make such rash decisions or she would have broached the subject with him earlier.

“If I am gone, she cannot use me to hurt them.”

“What has Her Grace done this time?”

She glanced around to note that several of his sailors had taken an interest in their conversation. “Can we talk somewhere privately?”

If he took her to his cabin she would likely be ruined, if anyone learned. But she was also already risking damage to her reputation just by being here.

“Come with me.”

He took her elbow and led her below.

“What has happened since I left you?”

It was then that she blurted out the threats Her Grace had made to the Valentines and he could well understand what prompted Perdita into this action. She then told him of the very explicit promise that she had secured from Her Grace.

“I will not reject the family who has loved me from birth for a woman who would use blackmail to gain my presence in her life. I have held up my part of the bargain, I will distance myself, by an ocean, for which she can offer no argument.”

“What if she does so while you are gone, as revenge?”

“Then she will lose me for good, even if I must live somewhere else. Do you think she would risk such?”

she asked.

He had no way of predicting what the Duchess of Clare would do next, but he had no doubt that she would not hold up her end of the bargain and would see Perdita’s family ruined if she sailed away with him tonight. “I honestly cannot answer,”

he finally said.

“She would not.”

They turned to find the Duke of Clare behind her. “Where did you come from?”

“I feared that you might do this, especially after Mother returned and told me that she’d finally won and how.”

“You cannot stop me,”

Perdita insisted.

“I have no intention of doing so,”

he returned. “Often, I have wanted to run away. She browbeat our father because, despite the title, he did not care enough to stop her. There was a time I even hated her. Now that I am in possession of the title, I do have some control.”

He had not been interested in utilizing it earlier.

“Not enough to keep her from hurting those I love.”

“I will not allow her to do so while you are gone.”

“You have not stopped her yet,”

Perdita cried.

“Because you have and I think it is important that you are the one who stands up to her instead of anyone doing so on your behalf.”

“What of when I am gone?”

“I will protect all that you love,”

he insisted then looked at Harrison. “It is time that my mother realizes who has control of the estates, all finances, and that I can dictate where she lives and what she does. My father let her get away with much, but I no longer will. If she even whispers a disparaging word against any Valentine, Sinclair or Lady Victoria, I will see that she is returned to Ireland and made comfortable in the dower house.”

Harrison couldn’t help but wonder if Clare would be standing here now if he had not visited. Earlier he had been resigned to allow his mother to do as she pleased.

Except, maybe he was correct that Perdita was the one who had to first stand her ground and not allow another to shield her. Maybe it is what gave him courage.

“Cormac has been the only one who has not allowed our mother to dictate his life. It was easier for me and Cadla, I think she did so because, maybe guilt because she was the only daughter.”

He shrugged. “I do not know, but all three of us have grown tired at having no control of our chosen destinies and it is time that we did.”

He smiled at Perdita. “If not for you, we may not have found the courage, but Cadla has every intention of returning to her home in Ireland, with her two sons, and raise them as she sees fit and I will see that Mother is reminded that I hold all control, including any funds that had previously been at her disposal. She will be reduced to an allowance, which can either grow or shrink depending on her actions. I can begin by issuing that order to her now if you want to remain.”

“If I could trust that she would listen, I would do so,”

Perdita offered. “But she must also understand the lengths I will go not to be controlled by her. I will set my own path and be true to myself no matter what name I am called.”

Harrison could not help but deeply admire Perdita in that moment.

She had his heart, his love and with her by his side, as his wife, he would be a better man. And, if there were children, they would be confident and resilient and not submit to what others may attempt to force them to do.

“I must go, but I promise to return and when I do, I will visit again.”

“Just do not disappear on us again.”

“I will not,”

Perdita promised.

“Take care of her, Harry.”

“I will, if I decide to take her with me.”

“Should I wait with my carriage?”

Panic flashed in Perdita’s blue eyes. She truly was terrified of remaining in England. He understood why she could not trust in Clare’s promises

“Yes. I will return her to you after we have had a private discussion.”

With that, Clare nodded then exited the cabin, closing the door behind him.

Perdita did not know what she would do if Harrison made her leave the ship. She could not return home, but where else could she go where the duchess would not find her?

Yes, the Duke of Clare promised to make certain his mother did not go through with her threats, but she did not trust that he could do so.

She also knew she ran the risk of Her Grace still talking to a reporter about her family but hoped that she honored the promise made.

Maybe this had been a mistake. Her Grace did not care who she harmed to get what she wanted and that likely included breaking promises if necessary. She sank down on the bunk, lost and not certain what to do. She came here because this was where she would be safest, with the person she trusted the most and now he might not want her.

How badly had she erred in her decision?

“Have you lost your bloody mind?”

This was not at all the reaction she was expecting.

“This is not a passenger ship. There is no cabin for you.”

“Oh.”

She had not considered. Then again, her decision had been rash.

In fact, she had not fully been herself since she met Harrison, or maybe it was since she was attacked. Sometimes she did not even recognize herself any longer.

“I can…”

He arched an eyebrow. “What? Stay in my cabin and make me sleep with the crew.”

Oh, she would hate to put him out and it truly was not fair to ask him to make such a sacrifice for her.

Perdita bit her lip, not certain how to answer.

Harrison blew out a sigh and crossed to a cabinet where he removed a bottle and glass.

“I am sorry. I should have considered…it is just that…”

“What?”

he demanded.

“I need to go to Barbados and you were going and….

“There are passenger ships.”

“But you are not on those ships. I need to be with you.”

“Why?”

“Because I trust you. You are my friend…I…”

“What?”

Oh, she wanted to confess that she loved him, but did she dare?

“Perdita, as much as I would like to have you on this voyage, I cannot allow it.”

Disappointment settled in her stomach and she bent to lift her valise, ready to depart and hoped that she was off the ship before the tears that were building inside rushed from her eyes. If he wanted her, he would have already asked her to accompany him. He had only teased about it before. Further, he thought she had lost her mind and now she feared she erred in what she believed his affection was for her. He may have asked her to wait for him, but maybe it was because he feared that her presence would see her ruined and that he would no longer have a choice but to marry her and it wasn’t something he wanted.

“I understand.”

“I do not think you do.”

“I am the only woman on a ship of men. I have heard the women talk at Westbrook House about temptation and all that. I would not want to make this a difficult crossing for you. Plus, there is no place for me.”

Harrison barked out laughter. “Oh, if that were my only concern, Perdita, I would order them to ignore you and they would.”

“Then why?”

“Because of me. Eight weeks on a ship with you would be torture.”

But he liked her. She thought he cared for her more deeply, but…Had he been only playing at being her friend?

Had she been that foolish?

“You are too much of a temptation. That is what I meant by torture.”

At least he wanted her. Desired her. She certainly enjoyed kissing him and being in his arms.

“I have known that I was in love with you, but a first did not trust that it was possible and thought that I needed time to come to know you better. I told myself that I would decide during this voyage except when I saw that woman attack you with a knife, I knew in an instant that I loved you, was in love with you and wanted you to be my wife.”

All she could do was stare at him. Harrison loved her.

“Therefore, you must understand that if I allow you to sail with me, it will be as my betrothed and I will marry you at the first opportunity.”

“Why did you not tell me?”

Had she known…

“Because you had been injured and then the secrets of your family. I did not want to further burden you with the knowledge that I was in love with you when you needed me more as a friend than a lover.”

He was the dearest man she had ever met and the tears she feared would fall before she was off the ship filled her eyes. “Oh, Harrison.”

With those words she opened her arms and approached, hoping that he would embrace her. “I love you so very much and I have for longer than I was willing to acknowledge.”

He stopped her from getting too close with his hands on her upper arms, gently holding her away. “You are not just saying that so I will take you to Barbados?”

“I would not lie to you, especially about something so important.”

She blew out a sigh. “Oh, if only I had known that I was not the only one in love.”

She wiped the tears away. “It would have been one less difficulty for me to manage.”

He stared down at her for the longest time and Perdita feared and wondered what he was thinking. His green eyes darkened and grew intense.

“You are also still my dearest friend. Can we be lovers and friends?”

“As it should be,”

he finally said before drawing her into his arms then placing his lips against hers, but before they could get very heated, he pulled away.

“Remain here.”

“Where are you going?”

“To leave a message for Bridges that I must first sail to Scotland before I voyage to Barbados.”

“Scotland?”

“We will marry before we cross the ocean unless you have changed your mind.”

“I have not.”

Perdita grinned. “Just think, if I would have let you take me to Scotland the first time you offered, we would already be wed.”

“As much as I wish we would have. I fear that it would have been a mistake because I was protecting you without telling you why I really wanted you for my wife and you would have gone along for the same reason. We may have never admitted our hearts.”

He was correct though Perdita liked to think that she would have eventually told him that she loved him.

“I will also send Clare on his way.”

“Wait?”

“What?”

“Do you have parchment? I would like to send letters with him to explain my absence to Her Grace.”

“What of your family?”

“I already left a letter that explained the threats and the promise from Her Grace, which was the reason I would disappear. I did not tell them where I was going or what my plans were. I simply stated that I needed to make a new path for myself and would let them know where it led. I hope they understand and are not angry with me if she reneges on her promise but I do not believe they would want me to be miserable either.”

“I am certain they would not ask you to sacrifice your future happiness.”

He led her to the desk then placed parchment and quills before her then left her alone.

* * *

Your Grace,

I have done as I promised. I have distanced myself from my Valentine siblings who are in London, and my aunt and uncle. I therefore trust that you will also keep your promise to hold their secrets.

It is the bargain we struck, and though you expect me at your home in yhr morning, you may recall that I never agreed to arrive. Instead, I am off to be by myself and determine my future. It will not be decided by you, nor will it be decided by His Grace nor any of the Valentines. I need to make all determinations for myself.

I know that it is difficult for you to understand why I have not quickly embraced my status as your daughter and all that is now available to me, but you also have not taken time to come to know me or learn what I believe is important.

When I return, we will visit and maybe finally become a family, but that will all depend on you.

* * *

Miss Perdita Valentine known to you as Lady Cara Gallagher

* * *

She then sanded the letter, folded and sealed them with wax, not leaving any engraving to give away from where the letters had come.

When Harrison returned, she handed it over. “You must make His Grace promise not to tell anyone where I have gone or who I am with or what we plan to do.”

“Do you not trust him?”

“He may be my brother and a duke, but if any of my brothers need to know, I would tell Demetrius first. He has been my oldest brother all my life. He deserves that honor.”

“I will go to him and ask permission.”

“No. You need to sail. The letters I have written explain all anyone needs to know. They will learn the rest when we return.”

“Are you certain?”

She considered his question and came to a realization. “I have never been more certain of anything in my life.”

Then she grinned. “I love you Harrison and there is no place I want to be other than by your side.”

He pulled her into his arms. “I love you and would not have you anywhere else.”

Then he brought his lips to hers, but his kiss was chaste. “I shall see that this is given to Clare, demand his promise, with threats that I will never return you to England or Ireland if he tells anyone where you might be, then inform the crew of our first destination. Once we are underway, I will return to you here.”

“I will be waiting.”

“It could be hours, Perdita. As you will be staying in my cabin, with me, you should get some sleep because you may not when I return.”

Heat coursed through her veins because she was fairly certain what he meant, and if they were to be married…Goodness.

“If we are to share a cabin, will that mean I will finally learn what the women in the kitchen talked about? The pleasure.”

Harrison groaned.

“You never did explain the difference between a generous lover and a selfish one.”

“I will show you what it means to have a generous lover.”

Her body heated. This voyage was certainly going to be an adventure.

“I will eagerly await your return.”