Page 27 of The Captain’s Valentine (The “Other” Trents #3)

Harrison said goodbye and hurried after Perdita.

This was not how he anticipated their first meeting would go, though he should have. He had met Her Grace when he had been but a boy and she only approved of him being a friend to Conor because Harrison was the son of a marquess, even if he was the fourth born son with no hope of a title.

If Her Grace knew the truth about Perdita’s siblings and where they really came from, who their parents were, she’d likely need smelling salts and then order Perdita to sever all ties and not even think about them again.

“Well, that is done!”

Perdita announced.

“Yes, it is,”

he agreed. There were many thoughts he could offer on the matter but held his tongue. This was yet a new side of Perdita that he had not seen and was not certain if she was determined or angry or if she had put the family behind her and would go on as she had done before she learned of their existence.

However, one thing was certain, he admired how she handled herself when she faced the dragon of a duchess. There was a strength in Perdita that he had not recognized before but realized that it had always been there.

“Cara…Miss Perdita…wait.”

They both stopped and turned to find His Grace hurrying after them.

“Yes.”

“Please, come back. Mother just takes getting used to.”

“I will not change who I am for her. That is what she expects, is it not?”

“Yes, but only because she does not understand. She assumed that you would embrace the new life that is being offered.”

“First, she should not assume that of anyone. Second, I do not embrace what she has offered to me.”

“I am aware, but you have not given her, or any of us, an opportunity to show you how your life could be.”

“Nor did you or your mother try to get to know who I am and what I may want. I was dismissed, as if my life before you entered it could so easily be ignored and unimportant. It was very disrespectful.”

“Yes, I agree, and I apologize.”

His Grace pushed his fingers through his hair. “Come to tea tomorrow and we will talk again. Do not reject us after one meeting.”

“I would not be so foolish because I am clearly your sister. But I also will not become who you or Her Grace believes I should be. I am myself, who I like very much.”

He shook his head and chuckled. “That stubbornness is very much like mother’s.”

“Then she will be a worthy opponent,”

Perdita offered with little warmth.

“You are not enemies. She is your mother,”

Clare insisted.

“I accept that she gave birth to me, but if she again tries to dictate my life, we will be mere acquaintances.”

“I will explain your feelings on the matter and we will begin anew tomorrow.”

“I will see you tomorrow.”

Perdita gave another swift nod and turned away from His Grace.

He may be a duke, but Perdita treated Clare as she would anyone else. Standing, wealth and titles truly did not mean anything to her, yet she was a lady and when Society learned who she truly was…

Harrison’s stomach tightened. He could return from his voyage to find her betrothed or already wed.

What if she fell in love? She had said that was the only thing that would tempt her to marry, which would lead to her leaving Westbrook House.

There were several bachelors who would be eager to court her, many worthy of her affection. What if a titled man, who could provide her with everything she ever dreamed, captured her heart while he was gone?

She marched on, leaving him and Clare standing. Her maid stepped around him and hurried to catch up to Perdita.

“It was good to see you again, Clare.”

“You too, Harry.”

He sighed and watched after Perdita. “Will you return with her tomorrow?”

“Only if she asks.”

“What is she to you? Are you courting?”

“I am who she needs me to be,”

Harrison found himself answering and knew that he would be just that for Perdita even though she had already captured his heart, but he had yet to attain hers and was not certain if he ever would.

“Shall we return home, Lady Cara?”

Perdita clenched her teeth at the address. She did not feel like a Lady or a Cara. She was Miss Perdita Valentine. Yet, she was also Lady Cara and it would take getting used to.

“No. I need to walk. I am not ready to face my family just yet.”

The maid said nothing and fell behind. It was odd being followed around and she had never taken a maid with her anywhere before. Was it because she had left with Harrison earlier today and her sister told the maid to go along, or because she was suddenly a lady and more important than she had once been?

Except, nobody was more important than another. Yes, there were people of rank that held more power and wealth but that did not make them any more special than her siblings or aunt and uncle.

“You are walking in the wrong direction,”

Harrison said as he caught up to her.

“I would rather delay my return home.”

“Very well. Then where would you like to go?”

She blew out a sigh. “I am not certain. Just away.”

“If you wish to run away, I do have a ship, but you will need to wait a few days.”

Oh, if only he was not teasing. “To be somewhere different would be marvelous,”

she admitted. “But it is also not the answer. I need to come to terms with who I am, what my life has become…”

“The park is near. Let us go there and talk.”

She took his offered arm and smiled up at him. “Thank you, Harrison.”

She then grinned. “Or should I call you Harry? That is what Clare calls you, is it not? Does anyone else?”

Harrison chuckled. “Nobody had called me that before I got to Eton and it was Clare who shortened my name,”

He leaned in close. “He had difficulty with the ‘S’ sound back then,”

he whispered. “The name stuck, at least with the lads at school, but nobody else has addressed me as such once my education came to an end.”

Perdita studied him. “I rather like it.”

Harrison chuckled. “For you, Perdita, you may call me anything you wish.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to say that it would be “my love,”

but stopped herself. In time she would. Oh, she hoped that was the case.

Once they entered Hyde Park, Harrison led her to a less visited area and found a bench where they settled.

“I do not like or recognize myself any longer,”

Perdita admitted.

“Much has changed and you have experienced more this week than you probably do in a year.”

“For me, a lifetime.”

She chuckled before she sobered. “I almost wish that I did not know,”

she admitted quietly.

“Did not know what?”

“I wish I could go back to being happy and content with my lot and life, working at Westbrook House, and not aware of the secrets my family kept.”

“But you cannot,”

he stated the obvious. “Are you still angry with them?”

“I was shocked and upset at having been lied to, but I understand why they said nothing.”

“Then why did it sound as if you were arguing with them today when I arrived.”

“It was not so much that, but…”

“But what?”

“I know that they want what is best for me, as I do for them, but when they kept insisting that I give this other family a chance and to come to know them, it was as if they were pushing me away. A reminder that I do not belong with them anymore but somewhere else. It hurt and it made me feel as if I was not wanted.”

“I am certain that was not their intention,”

Harrison insisted.

“I am as well, but it does not change the emotions of what I was experiencing.”

“It is a difficult thing when your mind and your heart are at odds, and despite reason or rationale, we still feel the pain.”

Perdita nudged his shoulder with hers. “Who is the philosopher now?”

she teased.

“Maybe I am learning from you.”

“I do not like myself very much,”

Perdita admitted.

“I still like you very much.”

Her heart melted. She was not a very pleasant person right now, but Harrison still liked her.

“I like to be happy and find the positive in any given situation. Yet, since I was attacked…That was upsetting because I did not understand, then to learn that I was lied to…You know everything that has happened but the most disappointing is me and my response.”

“There is nothing wrong with any of the negative emotions that you have experienced, Perdita. It will all right itself eventually, and until it does, I am here.”

“Thank you for not calling me Lady Cara. I do not know who she is.”

“She is you and the sooner the family you were born into accepts that, the better it will be for everyone.”

Why couldn’t Harrison love her as she loved him? If he did, he would have already decided that this was his last voyage. “I believe I will miss you very much while you are gone.”

His green eyes darkened and as he tucked an errant curl behind her ear. “I know that I will miss you and will hasten my voyage to return to you at the earliest possible moment.”

Perdita’s entire being heated under his gaze, especially when he glanced at her lips. She nearly willed him to kiss her, except that would be unseemly, given they were in Hyde Park and anyone could come upon them. Further, the fact that he did not meant that he remained at his crossroads and did not care deeply enough to choose her.