Page 23 of The Captain’s Valentine (The “Other” Trents #3)

Today had certainly been a day of revelations from Agnes to Oliver and Clare, and Perdita’s secret past. Harrison wasn’t even certain what to make of it all.

He knew that he should be angry that she had lied to him about her past from the beginning, but was not. Had Society known she and half of her siblings were the bastard children of a viscount…well, they would not have been received when Lady Felding attempted to introduce them. Nor was it likely Demetrius would have risen to the position of barrister.

Except, her three sisters had wed and one to a duke and the other a marquess. As for Storm, he was second son of an earl. “Do the husbands of your sisters know?”

If they did not, and the truth came out, it could be very unpleasant for those wives.

“They do,”

Perdita answered. “My sisters insisted that they know before any vows so that they would have the opportunity to cry off.”

“Yet, none of them did.”

“Because they were in love with their wives. They will keep the secret, as my family will continue to do.”

Harrison stopped and turned to face Perdita. “Your secrets, the one that you just shared, and any that you may tell me in the future, will always be kept. On that, you have my promise.”

“Do you think less of me now? Even though it is no longer the truth, until a few hours ago, I believed that I had been born a bastard too.”

He should be insulted that she would ask, but Harrison was not. She likely lived with fear that someone would learn and she would be shamed. “It makes no difference to me,”

Harrison answered. “Perdita, I came to know you as a woman who worked at Westbrook House. A woman who became my friend. Someone I have come to deeply care about and trust. It does not matter to me where you came from.”

He truly meant that with all his heart and it did not change the fact that he still loved her. “If you were still the bastard child of Viscount Perry, that would change nothing.”

Her smile was weak, but it was there just the same as her eyes developed tears. This had not been an easy day, and even though it was not proper, Harrison drew her close and into an embrace, her head against his chest. It was only a moment before her shoulders shook and he stood there and waited in the sheltered and treelined path in Bushy Park while she cried.

They weren’t loud or deep sobs that he’d witnessed in his younger sister when matters had not gone as she wanted. Perdita’s were quiet as emotions that had likely built up was finally being released.

Perdita sniffed and pulled way. “Thank you for that.”

He withdrew a handkerchief and handed it to her. “What are friends for if you cannot cry on them?”

She chuckled then wiped her eyes and nose.

Overcome with affection for her, Harrison put his arms around Perdita a second time and kissed her forehead. Now was not the time for kissing, but affection and caring. In time, he hoped that they kissed again, but she did not need that from him now.

The sun would also set soon so it was probably best that they were not alone on a dark walk even though this area was usually not occupied by thieves, pickpockets or cutthroats. He also was not willing to risk the danger to Perdita. She had already suffered enough these past few days.

“It grows dark. Is there some place else you wish to go?”

“I am hungry,”

she admitted. “But it is too soon to return to Westbrook House without being questioned by my employers.”

He grinned. “I know exactly where we can find a meal.”

Perdita backed away and held up her hands. “I do not have the funds for a meal. Well…I do…but as I do not know what I plan to do these next few days, I would rather not spend anything.”

Harrison chuckled. “Let me buy you a meal, Perdita. I eat alone too often as it is and would like the company.”

“If you are certain.”

“Yes.”

He did not care how long she put off returning to Westbrook House. He would remain by her side for as long as it took, even if it became through the night.

Perdita had never been to a coffee house, but that was where Harrison brought her. Piazza Coffee House in Covent Garden. She knew the name because each of her brothers had eaten here and enjoyed the food.

Tentatively she stepped inside and quickly glanced about, ready to leave if there was anyone she recognized, except they were all strangers, much to her relief. More importantly, none of her brothers were within. However, she remained by the door as Harrison also scanned the room before he nodded.

“You do not recognize anyone either?”

she asked.

“No, which I assume you would prefer.”

“Yes.”

First, being alone with Harrison without a companion or chaperone, in a public place would certainly see her ruined, especially since it adjoined a hotel. Second, she did not want to explain her situation to well-meaning family friends or nosey, gossiping acquaintances. As they passed tables to find their own, mouthwatering aromas from the meals also caused her stomach to grumble. Thankfully the conversation was so loud within that nobody noticed.

At first, she had been unable to relax and kept watching the door in fear that someone she knew would enter. What if those in Society who might recognize her decided to dine here before attending the theatre or afterwards? She was not doing anything wrong but a miss did not simply go to a coffee house with a bachelor, alone, for an evening dinner. However, after plates of roast chicken and vegetables, warm bread and ale was placed before them, the trepidation that had filled her earlier began to dissipate.

Much of it also had to do with Harrison who cheered and humored her with stories from his voyages. Not of any smuggling, but from being on a privateer ship before he owned his own merchant vessel. It must have been quite thrilling and terrifying to sail near France and Napoleon’s ships, but the vessel Harrison was on was not to do battle, but to deliver and retrieve individuals and goods.

At her insistence, he described the ship he had purchased and the size of the cargo hold he needed and the number of sailors. When pressed, he described where they slept, their duties, even what they ate when out to sea and the provisions that they needed to have before they ever set sail from the amount of fresh water, ale and wine, to dried meats, vegetables, fruits and grains. Perdita found it quite fascinating that he knew every detail from memory so that the crew could survive for weeks on end without ever seeing land.

By the time their meal was finished and they’d drunk more than one pitcher of ale, Perdita was much more relaxed than she had been earlier in the day.

“Thank you for the distraction,”

she said as they prepared to leave. “I do hope that I did not keep you from any plans you may have already made for the evening.”

“You did not,”

he assured her.

“I am not certain what I would have done today had you not been there.”

“I will be here whenever you need me.”

Oh, if only that were the truth. “You will not,”

she responded quietly. “You will be gone soon.”

“I wish I were not, but…”

Perdita nearly placed her hands over his but stopped herself because of where they were. “You are here now. Thank you.”

“It is growing late, and those who attended the theatre tonight and plan on a late meal will arrive soon so we should take our leave.”

“Yes.”

She stood and kept her head down as Harrison escorted her from the coffeehouse. Once they settled into the carriage, she relaxed once again.

“Where would you like to go now?” he asked.

“Westbrook House,”

Perdita answered. “My employers should have returned home by now and it will save me from having to answer any questions as to why I am there.”

“What of the other women?”

Harrison reminded her that not only children lived at Westbrook House.

“If I tell them that it is something that I do not wish to discuss, they will not press for answers.”

Weariness was nearly overwhelming. Maybe it was because she’d filled her belly with a delicious meal, or the abundance of wine, or that she was finally relaxed from the events of the day, or it could be the combination, but Perdita had difficulty keeping her eyes open once the carriage moved into traffic. Harrison must have noticed because he moved to sit beside her and put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.

It was such a comfort to be held by him and Perdita did not want to be anywhere else. He was the only thing that was right in her upside-down world.

“If I could remain in England and not sail for Barbados, I would.”

She turned and placed fingers against his lips. “You should not disrupt your life for me. It has been a difficult day, but by the time you must sail, I am certain all will be set to rights and the only difficulty I will likely have is…”

Oh dear, perhaps she shouldn’t have drunk so much.

“What?”

he prompted. “What will be difficult?”

“I fear that I will miss you very much,”

she admitted.

He leaned forward, his forehead against hers. “I will miss you as well, and I will likely worry the entire time that I am gone.”

His words warmed her heart and Perdita could only hope that he came to love her as she did him.

Oh, she could only hope.

“You should not worry about me.”

“I will not be able to help myself,”

he murmured as he brought a hand up to cradle her cheek right before he pressed his lips against hers.

As before, his kiss was tender, loving and when he pulled back, Perdita sighed. Her heart beat for Harrison and only Harrison.

She wanted to confess her love but feared that he would pull away since he had already admitted that he needed time and she did not want to rush him into a decision because she feared it would be the opposite of what she wanted.

“I wish I could take you with me,”

he whispered before he kissed her again, this time with more passion, desire and when his tongue traced her lips, she parted and he delved. Perdita tilted her head to allow him better access and soon he was holding her close, devouring her with the same passion he had exhibited before. All Perdita could do was grasp his shoulder to remain upright because his kisses made her dizzy, along with the ale. She’d not had so much before.

And, just as before, she grew heated and the strangest aches began in the breast, abdomen and nether regions.

His hand slipped up her side, his hand stopping just beneath her breast. She nearly held her breath and wondered if he would touch her there. She wanted him to. She needed him to, and then he cupped her and ran a thumb over her nipple and it grew tight under his caress.

Goodness! There was no doubt that what she was experiencing was desire and she understood how easy it was to fall into ruination. Thank goodness they were in the back of a carriage and not someplace more intimate.

Harrison pulled away and his hand slipped back down to her waist and she nearly objected. His kisses and caresses…goodness.

It was only then that she realized the carriage was slowing.

“I apologize…”

She placed a finger against his lips. She did not want him to say he was sorry, or that what they just shared should not have happened.

“Do not. If you claim regret for your actions just now it will surely break my heart.”

“Oh, Perdita, never regret. I apologize for not remaining more honorable.”

“I am glad that you were not.”

He cupped her cheek and brought his lips to hers once again and this time his lips were gentle, loving, and he only stopped when the carriage came to a halt.

“We have arrived.”

Oh, she wished the driver could just keep driving so she could remain with Harrison, but it did grow late and she needed to be at her duties tomorrow even if for the first time since she was given the position her heart and mind may not be with the children.

Perdita moved to rise so that she could exit but Harrison stopped her. “There is a man lingering by the door,”

he said quietly.

She peeked out the window and relaxed. “It is only Marcus.”

“Who is he?”

“One of the guards Dr. Sinclair hired. Two for the back and two for the front. He did not like that there were no men for protection with only women and children inside.”

Only at her assurance did Harrison open the carriage door and step out, but when Marcus saw only him came forward and by his stance and intimidating stare he was first ready to forcibly remove Harrison and then demand why he was there. However, when Perdita stepped from the carriage, Marcus relaxed and stepped away.

“Captain Trent is only delivering me,”

Perdita announced, then remembered her valise. When she turned, she found that Harrison already had it. When she approached the door, Marcus produced a key to let her in. “I will lock everything again once you are inside,” he said.

Only then did she turn to Harrison and hold out her hand to take her valise. “Thank you for tonight, Captain Trent.”

“It was my pleasure, Miss Perdita. If there is anything else that you need, please do not hesitate to send for me.”

She could not help but smile. “I do not even know where that would be.”

“I have a set of rooms at The Albany.”

“Thank you again, Captain Trent.”

Perdita then let herself into Westbrook House and Marcus locked the doors behind her before walking into the kitchen. A low fire burned but otherwise it was dark, the women of Westbrook House having already retired.

She sighed and looked around and then noted the cot on the far wall. This is where one of them slept when a child was ill so that hot water was always ready for tea, or medicinals. Tonight, Perdita would sleep on the cot and enjoy the peace that remained before Edith rose and demanded why she was there.

She set her valise on the floor at the foot of the cot then removed her boots before she laid down and pulled the wool blanket over her body.

Her life had been a lie and while most women would likely rejoice to find out that they were the daughter of a duke instead of the bastard of a viscount, all she experienced was betrayal by four of the men she had trusted most.

At least Harrison had been by her side and supported her.

He had been even more than that—a friend who could have become a lover had he not been so honorable tonight, and she may have been tempted to let him.

Thank goodness he had kept his head because she did not want to keep hers. Her body ached, but she wasn’t even certain for what, only that her need had not lessened but grew when he caressed her.

It was for the best that he had gained control because no doubt, had he not and she allowed him any more intimacy, she would have awakened with regret, just as she would have done had she allowed him to take her to Gretna Green. Today was not the day to make life altering decisions. Enough of those had already been made for her.