Page 55 of The Calendar of New Beginnings (Dare Valley #9)

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

L ucy wanted to bundle Andy up in a giant hug. How hard must it have been for him to include a photo of the three of them together?

“You make me so happy, Lucy,” he said, wiping at his eyes with his jacket.

Her heart continued to expand in her chest, smarting with every millimeter it gained. “You make me happy too. You always did.”

His smile flashed across his serious face. “Okay. Now turn the page.”

She was going to say, yes, sir, to lighten the mood, but when she saw the photo he’d chosen for June, she pretty much dissolved.

“Where did you get this?” she asked, tracing a photo of herself on assignment in Uganda.

“I was working with a local photographer on an AIDS calendar. He took this photo of me at the orphanage where we were taking photos of children whose parents had died from AIDS. Part of my contract with the NGO was to train a leading local photojournalist. Anthony was great. He works for The London Times now.”

“Moira found this picture by doing a simple Google Images search of your name. Then she copied it and worked her magic to include it in the calendar.”

A sense of wonder furled around her still-expanding heart. He’d valued this part of her enough to include it in the calendar.

“Lucy,” he said in a deep voice. “I know you still don’t believe I understand what your career means to you, but I do. I want you to be who you are. It’s who I love. Your work is important.”

She was too moved to speak.

“I hoped showing this to you would help you understand that I mean that,” he said, taking her hand and putting it on his heart. “I want you to have everything you could ever want. I just hope that will include me.”

Hope was shining in his eyes, as bright as the stars over the savannah. She could see he meant it. A surge of emotion pushed through her chest, and for a moment, she couldn’t breathe. Everything felt like it was crumbling again, but she wasn’t scared.

Arthur had helped her bring the old frame through which she had seen herself and her relationships into full focus. But now it was starting to crack and fall away, like an old camera lens dropped on the ground. She tightened her grip on Andy’s hand.

“Andy, I’m not afraid anymore either,” she said as soon as she could talk again. “I want it to include you. And Danny and the rest of our family.”

His other hand came up and cupped her cheek. “You have no idea how happy that makes me,” he said, wiping more tears away from her eyes. “Okay, go ahead and turn the page.”

Turn the page? She was almost too lost in the moment to register the words. “I love you.”

His face softened. “And I love you. Let’s move on to August.”

Since he was being so unusually insistent, she went ahead and did as he’d suggested. Then she laughed. “Oh, I see how it goes.”

“I wanted to make sure you understand I have another purpose outside of the home too.”

The photo was of him sitting beside an elderly woman, who was hooked up to all sorts of tubes and IVs. Her face was taut with pain, but she was smiling weakly at Andy.

“That’s Mrs. Grayer,” he told her. “I asked her if Moira could take this picture yesterday when I was doing rounds. She has stage four lung cancer, and she knows she isn’t going to make it. I was talking with her about hospice.”

Looking at the photo again, she noticed the compassion and sadness on his face. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, me too. She’s a really nice lady.

Has fifteen grandkids, all of whom are decimated at the thought of losing their nana.

” He took a breath. “I included this photo because I want you to know that sometimes I bring work home with me. Emotionally. I try not to. I didn’t always tell Kim about the bad cases.

There was this one time the medics brought in a three-year-old who’d been run over by a car… ”

She gripped his hand. “I want you to tell me about those days,” she said, realizing they were making a pact of sorts.

“And I want you to tell me about hiding from soldiers who are shooting street children,” he said in a harsh tone. “I can’t guarantee it won’t upset me because that’s fucking awful, and I love you. I’ll worry too, but I’ll manage it.”

“Deal,” she said, giving him an encouraging smile.

“Seems we’re making some progress here,” he said with an answering smile. “Turn the next page.”

She did, and that’s when everything inside her exploded anew. September displayed two half-eaten ice cream cones resting on an outdoor table.

“And when we do have bad days or bad moments,” he said softly, “we’re going to share our ice cream cones because that’s what partners do.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“And if you’re on assignment, I’m going to send you ice cream emoticons over Skype or something until you come home.”

Home. For so long it had been something other people had.

She leaned over and kissed him on the mouth.

“Thank you for believing I’ll be able to return to what I love.

I talked to Arthur yesterday, and he helped me see that I may feel differently about my lifestyle than I did before.

I won’t want to spend as much time in the field as I used to because… ”

Oh, this was hard to admit.

“Because I didn’t have anything to come home to before,” she said, still feeling the barbs of that revelation.

“But you do now,” he said, cheering her up like the best friend he was.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “I have you, and I’m so grateful, Andy.”

“I am too,” he said and leaned in to kiss her back.

Their lips met, and everything inside her settled into a new alignment.

It was like her heart was a camera lens, and she’d finally found the best setting for her life.

It was with him. She could already imagine the photos this new lens would help her take.

Ones that involved family time and new babies and quiet strolls through town while one of their parents watched the children.

He broke the kiss, but kept his lips inches away. “I’d like to keep doing that, but you have more months to look at in the calendar. We’re only on September.”

What were a few more months? She pulled away and flipped the page. “All right, let’s see what we have next. Oh, my goodness!”

Danny smiled into the camera. He was wearing his PJs and holding the framed photo she’d taken for him of a baby camel in Egypt.

“He’s totally on board with this plan,” Andy assured her. “This was his way of letting you know it.”

“If your plan was to make me bawl, you’ve succeeded.” She turned to face him. “I need you to know I love him, and I hope you’ll let me be a good mother to him. I know Danny’s not mine per se, but I’d…want to treat him with the same love and respect I’d give all our other children.”

“I’m happy to hear that,” he said, his eyes shining with tears. “I’d want you to love him like that. He deserves it. He’s a…really special kid.”

“Yeah, he is,” she said, hugging him again. “And he has a really terrific father.”

Perhaps because he’d given her the permission to be Danny’s mother, Andy folded up and went to pieces. She held him through the storm.

Once his tears had quieted, he whispered, “I guess that was harder for me than I thought. It’s not that I don’t know you’ll be a great mom to him. It’s just… How can I explain? I’m still sad he won’t know Kim, you know? It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

“I understand that,” she said, caressing his back as he shuddered. “It’s okay to feel that way. And it will be okay when Danny misses her. It won’t hurt me, Andy. Kim was his mother, and she’s gone. We’ll figure it out.” Just like Arthur had said they would.

“Yeah, we’ll figure it out.”

“Shall I turn the next page?” she asked, sensing he was back to himself.

“By all means. This one’s my favorite.”

November was a simple portrait of Andy gazing into the camera. His eyes were as soft as the smile on his face.

“Do you remember the photo you took of me thinking about Kim?” he asked.

She nodded, and her heartbeat started to pound because she already knew what he was going to say. “Yeah.”

“This is me thinking about you,” he said, reaching for her hand again. “I wanted you to see how much I love you too.”

And she did. He’d looked straight into the camera, baring his soul to her. And those smile crinkles around his eyes spoke of joy.

“I love it,” she said, hugging it to her heart. “Out of all the photos I’ve ever seen in my whole life, this one might be my favorite. I take it Moira shot this one yesterday.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m so going to owe her for this.”

Lucy decided she was going to do something special to say thank you to his sister—her new friend. Then she realized Moira was going to be family one day, her family. “She wants you to be happy.”

“Yeah,” he answered easily, “and since she’s going to be the director of the Artemis Institute here in Dare Valley, I’m going to have plenty of time to make it up to her.”

“Oh, she got the job! That’s great news.”

“She told all of us last night after she signed the papers. Another Hale returns to Dare Valley. Caroline’s a goner. There’s no way she’ll be able to remain the solo hold-out in Denver.”

Lucy wasn’t so sure about that, but who knew? She was back in Dare Valley, after all, and this would be home from here on out.

“Shall we look at December?” he asked, running his hand down her hair in the most soothing of caresses.

She flipped the page triumphantly. December was a repeat of the photo on the front—Andy and Danny sitting in white Adirondack chairs on his porch. “I love this photo of you two.” They were going to be her guys, she realized.

“You don’t get it, do you?” he asked, sighing. “I told Moira it was too subtle.”

“Let me look closer,” she said, and brought it closer to her face.

Suddenly everything came into focus.

There was a third chair on the porch, situated right next to Andy’s. And on the seat sat a camera.

“You have a space for me,” she said, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

“We bought a third chair for you. When you’re on assignment, we’ll be home, waiting for you.”

Jeez. Did he have to be so freaking sweet? She turned and faced him, the calendar on her lap. “I can’t think of a better new beginning.”