Page 22 of The Calendar of New Beginnings (Dare Valley #9)

“You’re wrong,” she told him flatly, feeling defensive again.

“If I wanted to have kids, which I do if the right situation presents itself, I would adjust my travel schedule to accommodate my family. Why do we have all these rules about what it means to be a wife and mother? Men travel for business all the time. Why do you think I left Dare Valley? There was no room for what I wanted here.”

She’d gotten so impassioned, her heart was racing. She took some deep breaths to relieve the pressure in her chest, not sure if it was from defending her position or from hearing them both admit to the way they’d felt back then.

“I knew you felt trapped here,” Andy said, sliding off the bed and reaching for his shoes, “but until right now, I never knew how much.”

She watched him put his shoes on, his back taut with tension. “Are you mad at me because I didn’t want what you wanted? I told you I wanted to see the world and take pictures. It’s who I am.”

“I know,” he said, but his voice was sad this time. “I only wish you would have realized you could let someone love you and still be what you wanted. ”

He might as well have struck her. “Are we talking about you?” How had they gotten to this?

“No, we’re not talking about me. You made it clear in high school that you were going on to bigger and better things. And I knew what I wanted. To be a doctor, have a wife and kids, and live in Colorado close to my family.”

He was making it sound like she thought she was better than him. “I was going on to different things, Andy. Ones that mattered to me.” She slid off the bed and stood. “Why are you this upset?”

His scowl was as wide as the Serengeti. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do,” she said, getting in his face. “What is it?”

“You’re going to leave again,” he said, his eyes flashing with an unusual fire. “And dammit, I don’t want to start caring about you all over again and looking forward to hanging out with you at Merry Cottage. And I damn well don’t want to start liking you like a girl again.”

She froze in place. She didn’t answer right away, giving the smell of gunpowder in the air time to disappear. He kicked at the floor again.

“If your eye gets better, you’re going to head back to those dangerous places.” He paused. “You’re so damn tough you might do it even if your eye doesn’t recover. Lucy, you could get hurt again. Or worse.”

“Andy,” she said softly.

He looked up, breathing hard. She could tell he was thinking about Kim and losing the people he loved.

He was scared to lose her too, but she didn’t have the words to soothe him.

The only thing she knew that would help was a hug.

So, that’s what she did. She wrapped him in her arms and squeezed him tight.

The rigid muscles and locked frame of his body eventually relaxed. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “It’s not you. It is, but?—”

“I know,” she said, rubbing his back.

He edged away to look at her. “It’s only… Lucy, you really mean a lot to me, and I’ve missed you. I don’t want to see you hurt again. Not even for something you love.”

Their eyes met as he reached up to push the hair behind her ear. The hands holding her suddenly felt warm. Awareness rolled through her again, unwelcome and alluring all at once.

A man’s hands were holding her in a way she enjoyed. More shocking was the realization that they were Andy’s hands. No, no, no , she thought. This could not be. It could never be. He was still in love with his wife, and she still planned to leave Dare Valley again.

“It’s getting late. You need to pick up Danny, right?” She stepped out of his arms and crossed the room to put on her own shoes. It didn’t matter that she didn’t plan to leave the house. It occupied her hands and kept him from seeing her face.

“Why do I have the feeling things got weird again?” he asked, his feet planted firmly in the doorway.

She stood and shook her head, striving for as normal an expression as possible. “We’re fine.”

He glanced at the watch on his wrist. “I have another half hour before I need to pick up Danny.”

As a dare, it was a good one. He was essentially saying: if it’s not weird between us, then you won’t mind me staying.

But she did. She couldn’t seem to have control over herself right now.

Her eyes were seeing his body in a new light—or an achingly familiar one.

He’d always been in top shape as a runner, but for some reason, his muscles looked more manly, more lust-inspiring than ever before.

His broad chest filled out his shirt, and his shoulders looked like they’d been carved from granite.

Her brain wanted her to assess more, but she wouldn’t let it.

She could control herself. She’d always been able to control herself.

This awareness was only something she needed to block out.

He was right—she was planning to leave Dare Valley.

It would hurt them both if they did something stupid and gave into these odd moments of attraction. It would ruin their friendship forever.

She told herself not to make too big a deal of these sparks between them. He was handsome. He always had been. It was a simple fact. Like one plus one equaling two.

Once she was used to being around him again, his muscles and all that handsomeness would become as normal as the awe-inspiring mountains surrounding Dare Valley.

“Okay, let’s finish our beers,” she said, pasting a smile on her face.

His gaze dropped to her lips. Was she imagining it? Clearly she had lost her mind, so she hustled past him to the kitchen, trying to control the panic rising inside her.

She was not going to become attracted to her best friend again.