Page 36 of The Break Out (Denver Dragons #3)

36

T he season has become intense for the Dragons now that they are in the thick of it, leading up to the holiday season. After the new year it’s going to be even crazier with the build up to the playoffs. I know this is when I know not to bother Brent as much, but I know Chandler is going to need more help with Evie.

Help I’m going to be more than happy to give because I need the distraction. Ever since Colton fucked me in the locker room my head has been a mess when it comes to my emotions.

Over the last couple weeks since that happened, we’ve seen each other a handful of times and I’ve done my best to make sure it was purely sex. No sleep overs. No talking about anything outside of what we are doing. Only physical.

The last time I saw him was right before the team was going to their last away game before Christmas and as I was getting dressed, I was tempted to ask what he was doing for the holiday. I knew that could easily lead to him joining my Christmas and we don’t need a repeat of Thanksgiving.

I really don’t need any other reason to fuel the emotions toward him.

Now, it’s Christmas morning and I spent last night wrapping all the presents I got for everyone, mostly Evie, and am shoving them all into my car to head over to my brother’s house. I almost tried calling Bailey, but then didn’t want to start the day off on a negative note when she inevitably doesn’t answer. Though, I know I’m going to end up trying later. Bryson too, since he did decide to go to his girlfriend’s instead of coming here.

Jared and Spencer went back to their hometown in New York. Charlie and Audrey are at his parents so it’s going to just be me with my brother’s family. I shake away the pang of disappointment that I’m not showing up with someone who I’m sharing my life with. That my whole family won’t be there. I wish things were different, but I slam my trunk shut, letting the sound pull me back to reality and am determined to enjoy this day.

My phone goes off after I climb into my car. For a moment I think it might be one of my siblings, but when I look down and see Colton’s name, I can’t deny the mix of disappointment and excitement hearing from him. Instead of acknowledging the text, I turn my phone on “do not disturb” and toss it into my purse, vowing to ignore it for the rest of the day.

Once I get to my brother’s house, I do my best to bring all the gifts in with one trip. I’m struggling to balance it all and have to use my foot to knock on the front door. I’m pretty sure it’s all going to come crashing down when I hear it open and a male voice says, “Whoa, let me help you out there.”

Vince takes some of the packages from me which lightens the load significantly and I don’t feel like my arms are about to give out.

“Hi!” I call out in greeting to the house.

“Aunty Brynn,” Chandler’s cheerful voice calls back.

I find her sitting in the living room with Evie dressed in festive Christmas footies lying on her chest. Vince and I drop off the presents under the large tree in the corner of the room.

“Those better not all be for Evie,” Chandler scolds.

I place my hand on my chest, feigning a gasp, “Of course not. What kind of an aunt do you think I am? One that is going to spoil that little precious bean rotten?”

Chandler is quiet for a few seconds, narrowing her eyes. “Yes.”

Smiling wide, I respond, “You’re right, but there’s presents here for everyone, not just her.”

Brent walks into the room with a large cup of coffee he hands to Chandler. She looks up at him and I see the love written all over her face the second her eyes meet him. The pang in my chest increases at the sight. I see my brother give her the same love filled look and it’s a look I’ve only ever seen him give Chandler. He never brought girls around when we were younger. I’m sure he had girlfriends, but I never met any of them until her.

Because I’m needing to break some of the tension in my own chest, I do what I do best, which is joke to lighten the mood. “That’s enough, break up the love fest and let’s open some presents. Brent,” he looks over to me, “I expect to find something fancy and expensive from you.”

He comes around to sit next to Chandler on the couch. “Speaking of spoiled,” he retorts.

I smirk until I realize he’s referring to me, “Wait, what? I am not.”

“Are you kidding me?” he scoffs.

“I’m not,” I insist again.

He just looks toward the large pile of gifts I brought with me like that makes his point.

“How does that prove anything? I’m a giving person.”

“Okay the two of you, it’s Christmas, no arguing is rule number one.” Chandler attempts to mediate.

“Bunny making rules? What are the other ones?” Matt chimes in, entering the room and taking a seat in the open spot on the other side of Chandler.

“Rule number two is that you get to deal with all dirty diapers today.” She smiles sweetly at Matt who frowns.

“Yeah, I was hoping for rules that are more fun. Maybe a little sexier.” He wraps an arm around her shoulders.

She smacks his chest lightly with the back of her hand. “Rule three is not to make Brynn uncomfortable. ”

I raise my hands, shaking my head. “I only get uncomfortable when my brother starts to talk. Or move. Or breathe.”

“You have never been good at following the rules, must be the whole spoiled thing,” Brent says with a glare in my direction.

“That’s not arguing, right, Chan?”

She shakes her head. “Vince, help,” she calls out.

Vince comes running back into the room like there’s an emergency. As soon as his eyes lock onto Chandler and Evie his posture softens seeing that there’s not an emergency.

“Why did you call for help?” he asks, concerned.

“I need a buffer.” She smiles at Vince which makes him immediately relax even more. I can see the way he actually melts for her.

That damn pang is back. I rub my hand against my chest trying to make the feeling go away.

“Why am I not enough of a buffer?” Matt asks, offended.

“You’re the cause of most of the problems, you can’t be a buffer,” Vince rolls his eyes.

“It wasn’t even me this time, it’s those two,” Matt says as he gestures between Brent and me.

“Present time!” I announce because clearly they will keep going. I may not want to know much of anything that goes on in this house, but I will admit I am curious how those two both live here and don’t kill each other .

I’m sure Brent has to step in quite a bit, just like he did with Brandon when we were younger.

Chandler and I open the presents with Evie, while she mostly sleeps through it all, only waking up and looking at the toys that make noises. I got her lots of things that she can’t use for a couple months, but I don’t care. At least she will have them when she gets older.

The day goes on and I can’t help but start to feel like an outsider to the family they have started. Obviously, Chandler does what she can to include me, but it doesn’t matter because seeing how they all are together makes me see how I truly don’t have a place within their close knit group.

I’m sitting on the couch after dinner, watching Vince and Chandler play with Evie while Matt watches with a small smile on his face. Brent was cleaning up the kitchen, but then I feel him sit next to me.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

I do my best to relax my posture because I realize how stiff I’ve been sitting.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

He shrugs. “You just looked a little zoned out.”

“I’m just tired, I should probably head out.”

“You going to see Wheeler today?” he asks suddenly, taking me aback .

“No. Why would I see him?” I try to act like that’s completely ridiculous, but the way my heart sped up at the sound of Colton’s name.

“You saw him on Thanksgiving.”

I sigh. “I get you’re looking out for me, but I’ve told you before nothing is happening with him. Nothing will happen with him. We can’t stand each other, and it was a one-day pity truce.” The lie tastes bitter on my tongue. The more I say the worse the lies feel.

“If he ever tries anything you know you can tell me, right?”

“Oh my God, yes Dad . I get it, you don’t have to look out for me anymore. I’m twenty-five and am able to handle the big bad world.”

“I know you can,” he agrees softly.

I leave not long after that, saying goodbye to everyone, giving Evie the most attention before heading out. The second I close my car door; the pain of the loneliness I know I’m going home to hits me. Which is why I pull out my phone for the first time all day and read the text Colton sent this morning.

Colton: I know how badly you miss me. So, if you need to see me today, just say the word and I’m there.

I can hear the cocky tone he would have as I read it, and it makes me scoff. I don’t want to admit he’s right and I don’t want to use him to cure the loneliness again. It’s something I’ve been doing and part of me knows it’s not healthy. There’s only one way this ends and it’s with me hurting .

Turning up Spencer’s latest album, it doesn’t matter how many times I’ve heard it, her songs resonate with me which is why I sing along to them the entire way home.

By the time I park at my apartment complex I’m still determined to not reply to Colton. I keep that commitment as I walk inside. Even still as I greet and feed Ellie. I continue to stay strong as I change into t-shirt and boy shorts.

But when I drop onto my couch, and the silence surrounds me, I give in.

Brynn: Come over.

Colton: Demanding. I like it. Already on my way, Princess.

And just knowing he’s going to be here has me feeling slightly better. Which makes me even more worried about how this is going to blow up in my face.