Page 19 of The Break Out (Denver Dragons #3)

19

I ’m losing it.

No, scratch that, I’ve officially lost it.

I’m holding onto the tiny little shred of sanity I have which is why I tell Colton to get out while he’s still buried deep inside me and I’m recovering from the hottest sex of my life. I need him to leave because if he doesn’t then this may happen again. I may want it to happen more than once, and I told him that was going to be it.

He didn’t agree, but I don’t care, it needs to just be this one time. One stupid blip of a mistake that we can both move on from now that we’ve gotten it out of our systems.

Except it’s not out of my system, not by a long shot.

The comment he said about me being completely submissive did so many things to my body I can’t even explain. Probably because that is what I truly want in the bedroom, to be completely dominated and he knew that instantly .

Which is why it can’t happen.

None of this will happen again.

He still hasn’t moved, so this time I push his chest when I say, “Get out.”

Colton lifts off me and I watch as he removes the condom from his dick that already looks half hard again, which is impressive. But no, I can’t think anything about him is impressive. Even though I felt that thing and it is. He may be cocky, but he sure as shit has the equipment to back it up and that’s just not fair.

“You’re brutal, Baby Collee. Kicking me out before we’ve had the chance to cuddle.”

I grapple for my blanket to cover myself because now that we aren’t in the heat of the moment, I feel more vulnerable than I did before. My body is still humming, and my mind is completely mush, but I don’t want him to know that he has fucked me into oblivion.

“There’s not a chance in hell you cuddle,” I murmur, shifting and hiding my wince because I’m already sore.

He’s pulled up his underwear and pants, but hasn’t buckled them so they’re just resting on his hips, with his shirt still off showing off his sculpted and inked skin. My hands itch to touch him more, but I clench my fists to fight the urge.

It’s only intensified when he leans forward, his fists press into the bed by my hips as his face inches closer to mine. I lean back slightly trying to keep the distance between us because I don’t trust myself anymore around him .

“I’ll leave tonight, but I know you’re going to be a good girl for me and call me back when that needy little pussy of yours needs me again. Because you and I both know this wasn’t just a one-time thing.”

For a second I think he’s going to kiss me, and I know if he does that I will fall back into his trap once again and likely let him fuck me into a coma. Instead, he pulls back with a smirk like he knows exactly what I’m thinking. I haven’t made any move to get dressed, even once he is.

“See you soon,” he winks, finally leaving my room.

I’m frozen until I hear the front door closed a few moments later, which is when I drop my head into my hands and groan loudly. Ellie takes that as her cue to come out of hiding and jumps onto the bed with me.

“I’m sorry you had to experience that; you probably hate me just as much as I hate myself.”

She nudges my hand, signaling she wants pets and I oblige. Her purring starts instantly and I’m glad she doesn’t hate me. Too bad I still hate myself.

By the next morning. I still hate myself. Add in the fact that my body still hurts, reminding me over and over of everything that happened last night. My memories replaying also isn’t helping.

Colton didn’t text me after he left, and I took that as a positive that maybe he was happy he finally got what he wanted and was going to leave me alone. One and done. Hit it and quit it. And all those cliché one night stand sayings that I’m sure he’s all too familiar with.

Unfortunately, as I’m feeding Ellie her breakfast my phone goes off and when I see it’s him, I look up at the ceiling and speak to the universe or whoever would be listening to me.

“Why me?”

Yes, why is the extremely hot, big dicked, amazing hockey player obsessed with you?

My consciousness nearly taunts. But I don’t do this. I don’t get involved with hockey players. Surprisingly, he’s the first I’ve ever slept with. All the rest that have tried, and there have been several, have been scared away by my brother before it got that far.

Other sports have been fair game, though they are all the same to me. Douchey, and annoying. Though, it took a couple experiments to learn that before I finally accepted it.

Colton: You ready for me again?

I ignore his message and notice I have one from Chandler inviting me over to see Evie if I’m available. Even if I wasn’t, I would make time to go see my niece. After I text her that I’ll be over in about thirty minutes I text Spencer because I know I’m going to need to confide in someone and I love Chandler, but she can’t know. I would go to Audrey, but she will definitely tell Chandler. Plus, Spence is my best friend and I feel like we haven’t been as close since moving to Denver because she’s been so holed up with writing .

Which I get, obviously we were around each other every day while she was on tour, so I think I’m just having a hard time adjusting.

Brynn: SOS need a girl meeting ASAP.

Spencer: My place or yours?

I can’t have Jared knowing either because I need to make sure this doesn’t get back to my brother. I know she won’t tell him if I ask her not to, but I can’t run the risk of him overhearing either.

Brynn: Mine. I’m going to visit with Evie right now, but later today, okay?

Spencer: I’ll be there, but are you okay?

Brynn: I will be.

No point in lying. I will be after I have a thorough bitch session with her.

I take a quick shower because I was too worn-out last night to do that, and I can still feel Colton’s sweat on me. I want to scrub the entire top layer of my skin off so it can be like he never touched me, but the persistent ache between my legs makes that impossible.

Once I’m done, I throw my hair up in a ponytail and pull on a pair of leggings and a hoodie and head to see my niece.

Chandler offers to let me hold Evie the second I’m in the door, and after I settle on the couch, I happily take the little bundle who falls asleep on me almost instantly. Vince and Matt hover close by but are trying to act like they aren’t. Brent sits across the room watching me, his posture seems calm, clearly him and Chandler are the only ones that trust me.

Of course, the second Brent looked at me I felt like he could tell what I was up to last night. Which is ridiculous, he doesn’t know. Yet, it feels like I have a scarlet letter on my chest, or a billboard on my forehead that says, “I fucked Colton.”

“How are you doing?” I ask Chandler to distract from my thoughts or I feel like I’ll blurt out my transgressions to the whole room.

“Good, actually. It’s pretty nice to have these three around to help, I don’t know how anyone does it with just two parents.”

I bite back a laugh to not jostle the sleeping baby in my arms. “You are pretty lucky. Until they all have to leave for their away games.”

She sighs, “True, that’s the downside. But I have you, Em and Audrey so I still have the help.”

Em is Vince’s sister, and I know she’s just as smitten with the little girl as I am, even though she has two daughters of her own. Even Audrey, who I’m pretty sure never wants kids, loves Evie.

“What about you guys, how are you liking the dad life?” I ask Vince and Matt.

“It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever been a part of,” Vince answers with a wide smile. He’s so attractive, when I first met him, I considered making an exception to my “no hockey player” rule for him because he seemed sweet. Too bad I did that for an asshole .

“It’ll be even better when we can get her on some skates in about two months,” Matt says confidently.

All heads swing toward him.

“You think she can skate at three months?” Chandler asks, shocked.

He shrugs. “Yeah, don’t they walk by then?”

“Uh no,” she responds.

“What? So, when does she get fun?” Matt seems genuinely shocked, and I just stare at him with my mouth dropped.

“Probably the same time you get a brain,” Vince mumbles.

“Oh, because it’s my fault she’s the first baby I’ve been around? Not all of us have had the perfect little family,” Matt snaps.

My gaze drops down to Evie because even though he didn’t mean me, I can’t help but feel his words hit me in the chest.

“Knock it off,” Brent scolds, sternly. For some reason it takes me back to when we were all younger and Bryson and Brandon would get into it like they always would, and Brent would be the one that would have to get them to stop.

That would usually lead to Brandon lashing out at Brent, like he always did, especially once he started using drugs. None of us knew at the time that’s what was happening, but looking back all the signs were there.

Maybe Brent knew back then, but he never said anything to any of us. He was always trying to protect Bailey and me from the negatives that surrounded us on a daily basis.

“You think you’re so much better than the rest of us because you got that stupid fucking scholarship to join that lame ass hockey team?” Brandon screams at Brent.

“I’m on that hockey team to work on getting a better future for all of us. I’m going to go pro, then we don’t have to worry about anything anymore,” Brent argues calmly.

“You’re not going to go fucking pro, you’re just wasting your time and doing whatever you can to get the fuck out of here and leave us,” Brandon sniffs.

“You’re not going to talk like that in front of them, so you either knock it off or leave and come back when you’re calm,” Brent tells him, his voice has gotten a lot deeper.

“What the fuck ever.” Brandon stomps away from Brent, stopping in front of Bailey and me who are standing in the corner of the kitchen, where we huddled when the argument between him and Brandon first started. “When he leaves and forgets all about us, I’ll be the one taking care of us and I’ll do a better fucking job that he ever would.”

“Out,” Brent yells, making us jump.

Brandon leaves out the side door, sniffling as he goes. Brent drops closer to our level, “You guys, okay?”

We both nod, but I’m just doing it so everyone stops fighting. I don’t like the yelling and fighting. Not between my siblings. My parents. I just want one day where there isn’t someone yelling.

“Brynn, are you okay?” Brent’s voice breaks me out of the memory I slipped into. I still feel the tears prick the corners of my eyes and I feel like I need to get away.

“Yeah, sorry, I forgot I need to go meet Spencer, who wants the baby?” I try to keep my voice light, but I know my brother doesn’t buy it.

Vince happily takes Evie from my arms, and I’m impressed we don’t even wake her during the transition. I say my quick goodbyes, managing to make it to my car before breaking down completely. Everything feels like it’s catching up to me, last night with Colton, the memories of the past. I let the tears fall as I let the emotions take over, letting my fa?ade drop as I fully embrace the shit show that is my life.