Page 60 of The Boathouse by the Loch (The Scottish Highlands #4)

It was just as she’d feared; she didn’t much like who she was … and she imagined that neither would they.

She wasn’t even sure she liked her name – Bonnie. She knew why. She felt she was now a different person. She wasn’t living her old life anymore – Bonnie’s life.

She looked sheepishly around the room. Oh, god – they hate me. She turned to David. She expected he’d hate her most of all after what she was about to reveal.

She’d finally remembered everything – her rubbish life before she had unwittingly stepped into someone else’s shoes; someone else’s life.

But very soon, David would know who she was – the getaway driver who had been sitting outside his boathouse the previous Christmas morning, waiting for her boyfriend, Logan, who was a no-good thief, to collect his money.

She could barely look him in the eye. The trouble with the hypnosis was that although it had worked – she knew who she was: Bonnie Stewart, a young woman of no fixed abode, who had grown up in a tenement in Glasgow with a mother who was an alcoholic.

She had dropped out of school and had hooked up with a young man who had turned out to be no good.

Although she had not told the whole story under hypnosis, the session had worked, and her memories were back in all their horrible glory.

From what Marnie had just recounted, she had skipped over much of her life to her and Logan’s arrival in Aviemore and her escape from him.

But there were pieces of that day she had not described.

She hadn’t recounted in the session what had led up to her arrival at Wilbur’s Bookstore.

Doing so would mean she had to tell her friends things she’d really rather not.

It meant they would have to hear things they didn’t want to know.

But she’d made a promise to herself that she would tell them everything.

Marnie said, ‘Bonnie, are you all right?’

She looked at Marnie sharply. Of course she wasn’t all right. She could see the way they were all looking at her, in shock. But she was determined to finish what Marnie had started – telling them what had happened the previous Christmas in Aviemore – all of it.

‘Logan promised me he wasn’t stealing again. He hadn’t long got out of prison after that attempted robbery at your dad’s store two years before.’

Duncan sat forward in his seat. ‘What are you saying? It was your boyfriend who broke into my store and shot David?’

‘I thought that name sounded familiar,’ murmured David.

‘No … yes. It was his older brother who came with the gun.’

‘Oh, and that makes it okay, does it?’ Duncan said.

Bonnie shook her head vehemently. ‘Of course not.’ She lowered her eyes. ‘I’m sorry.’

Gayle said, ‘Don’t you be apologising for your rubbish boyfriend’s actions, Robyn. I mean Bonnie.’

‘Did you know he was going to rob my store?’ Duncan asked.

‘Of course not! We were living in the caravan, parked illegally in a back street in Inverness, and he said that he was going out last-minute Christmas shopping. I thought it was odd. What shops would be open that late on Christmas Eve? But that was the point, wasn’t it?

He was out to rob somewhere. And what better place than the sweet little town of Aviemore, less than an hour away?

’ Bonnie grimaced. ‘The next thing I knew, I’d got a phone call from the police station.

He’d been arrested for burglary, and then he told me his brother was dead, and some guy had been arrested for shooting him. ’

She cast her gaze over to David. He was staring at her intently.

‘I went back to live with my mum when he was in prison, but things were getting worse at home. She went out every night to the local pub. She’d arrive home in the early hours, blind drunk, leaving my two younger siblings to fend for themselves, get themselves something to eat before going to bed.

I knew my mum drank, but I hadn’t realised how bad things were until I returned.

The place was a tip. I started to look after my younger brother and sister.

They’re twins. I cleaned up the flat, made sure their clothes were washed and ironed before school and that they had something proper to eat, even though I could only afford simple meals like jacket potatoes and beans – things like that. ’

Everyone in the room was very quiet, listening.

‘I didn’t want to go back to my mum’s. When Logan went to prison, I wanted to leave, run away, get a place of my own.

I thought I’d return for a short time to figure out what I was going to do, but I realised even if I had the means to get a place of my own, I couldn’t leave the children.

I tried to take care of them and myself as best I could.

But mum often stole what little money I earned to spend on drink.

I felt trapped, but I was determined that when he got out of prison, I’d tell him we couldn’t just pick up where we left off.

I didn’t want that life. We couldn’t be together anymore. ’

Bonnie frowned. ‘One night, mum brought some bloke home – they were both drunk, falling about, laughing hysterically. The twins were asleep. I’d been asleep.

I told them to keep it down. They were acting like teenagers.

Mum lashed out at me, telling me I had no right to tell her what to do in her own home.

She told me to get out. It was terrible.

The twins had woken up, hearing the almighty row, and begged me not to leave them, but mum was shouting get out, get out , and physically threw me out, grabbing my stuff and tossing it out of the door.

So I left – and went back to the caravan. ’

Marnie said softly, ‘Logan came back – didn’t he?’

Bonnie shook her head. ‘One of his friends must have told him I was living in the caravan again. I had no choice. I had nowhere else to go. Then Logan got out of prison. But when he came back, it was like he’d turned over a new leaf.

His brother’s death had changed him, made him see the error of his ways.

He said he was going straight. No more thieving, no more prison stints.

’ She trailed off. ‘I really thought our lives would be different.’

Judith said gently, ‘Then what happened, Bonnie? Can you tell us how you came to be in Aviemore last Christmas, two years on from the robbery at Mr Gillespie’s store? Sorry to ask, but that wasn’t really explained in your hypnotherapy session.’

‘Yes,’ Bonnie said in a small voice. ‘He told me he’d booked a fancy hotel.’

‘In Aviemore?’

She nodded. ‘We were checking in on Christmas Day, and going to have Christmas dinner in the restaurant. I couldn’t believe it.

I could just imagine a fancy hotel decorated for Christmas.

He said there was a log burner, and it would have real atmosphere.

Oh, my god – I was so happy at the thought that this marked the beginning of a new life together. ’

Bonnie halted. She didn’t want to go on with this.

She looked around the room. ‘All I ever wanted was for things to be different. I wanted a little house, and a dog, and more than anything a normal Christmas, with Logan out of prison and on the straight and narrow. On the way to Aviemore, he told me we weren’t returning to the caravan.

We were going to start over, just the two of us. ’

She paused, and smiled. ‘I remembered being so happy, thinking that this was just the start, and all my dreams would come true. And I would find the twins, who had been taken into care the night I’d been chucked out of the flat, after a neighbour had reported what they’d seen and heard.

I wanted to have them come and live with me.

We would be a proper family. I didn’t mention that to Logan.

He wouldn’t have been happy with that idea.

He didn’t much like kids. They weren’t babies – my siblings were ten – but I didn’t want them to spend the rest of their childhood in care.

I thought that things were different now, though – he might welcome the twins, and we would all have a new start together. ’

Bonnie dropped her eyes to the floor. ‘I should have known I wouldn’t be that lucky.’

Marnie said, ‘Bonnie, you don’t have to do this now, telling us what happened, if you don’t feel able.’

She looked up. ‘I want to.’ She took a deep breath. ‘After feeling elated about where we were spending Christmas, on the journey there, I started to worry about where he was getting the money to do this. He hadn’t long got out of prison, and he had no job. ’

‘Where did he get the money?’ Duncan asked.

‘He told me he had to make a stop before we checked into the hotel. He said he had some money to collect that was owed him. I asked him if it was for a job, but he wouldn’t tell me.

I knew he’d been involved with shady people.

I felt scared. I thought … I thought he was going to see a criminal to collect his share of the money from something dodgy he’d done.

Worse still, I thought if that wasn’t the case, then he might be going to rob someone again on Christmas Day to pay for our hotel.

I told him that he had to turn the car around.

I wasn’t going to spend Christmas in a fancy hotel if he’d robbed someone else on Christmas Day to pay for it.

He reassured me that wasn’t the case. He wasn’t robbing anyone, and I’d see that for myself. ’

She stopped abruptly and looked sheepishly at David, lowering her eyes as she admitted, ‘I haven’t been completely honest with you.’

David raised his eyebrows.

She continued, ‘The first time I arrived at the boathouse with Duncan, I had some sort of flashback. I knew I’d been there before, but all I remembered was sitting in a car, in the dark, outside your house, and feeling very scared.

I didn’t know what I was doing there, or who I was with.

I just couldn’t remember anything more.’

‘But now you can,’ said Duncan.

Bonnie avoided Duncan’s gaze and nodded.

‘He said he was collecting what he was owed.’ She looked over at David.

‘I didn’t know what he meant. I was afraid he was lying to me, and he was going to break into this house all the way out in the middle of nowhere.

I was very scared that what had happened to his brother would happen to him.

But I sat there watching him knocking on your door, and you answered, David.

I saw you hand him a bag and shut the door. That was it.’

Duncan said, ‘Excuse me? What did you just say?’

‘David handed Logan a bag and shut the door.’

Duncan said, ‘What was in the bag?’

She stole a glance at David. ‘Money. Lots of money.’

Duncan slowly turned his head in his son’s direction. ‘David? What the hell is going on? You knew this Logan?’

‘No … yes.’

Joe stepped in and exclaimed, ‘Marnie, this session is over.’

Bonnie immediately understood what Joe was doing – protecting his brother. She hadn’t realised that by telling her story, she might implicate David in a crime. She had no idea why he’d handed over that money.

Marnie slowly closed her notebook. ‘As with all therapy sessions, obviously it goes without saying that all this is confidential and won’t leave this room.’

Bonnie looked at her. Marnie wasn’t stupid. She was probably thinking the same thing. Marnie said, ‘However, that isn’t up to you, but my patient.’ She turned to Bonnie.

Bonnie looked at Joe, her eyes roving to David. Whatever had happened that led to David voluntarily handing over the money, David did not deserve to get into trouble for it.

‘I’d like to end the session please, Marnie.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘I am, but thank you, Marnie, for getting my memories back.’

Marnie said, ‘Would you like a moment here alone with your friends?’

She nodded. Her therapy session was over, but she still had things to tell them about that day .

Marnie rose from her chair. ‘I’ll be in the house, if you need me.’

Marnie paused at the door and turned around, looking at everyone in the room, her eyes finally settling on her patient.

‘If you don’t mind me saying, you’ve had a rough time of it, with your mother, and your two younger siblings taken into care, and ending up living in an old caravan.

I don’t know what I would have done without my lovely, supportive family at that age. ’

Bonnie would have preferred it if she hadn’t brought that up. It made her feel sad, and embarrassed in front of her friends.

Marnie looked around the room. ‘I hope things work out for you, Bonnie. Despite your rough start in life, you are a kind soul who deserves so much more.’ Marnie walked over to Bonnie and gave her a hug. ‘Take care, Bonnie.’

Bonnie was surprised to find tears welling up.

‘You’ve got my card with my number,’ Marnie added. ‘If you need anything, just call me.’

‘Thank you, Marnie.’

When Marnie opened the door, Sean was outside. ‘Ah, is the session over?’

‘Yes, it is.’

Sean was about to step into the room when Joe strode up to him. ‘We’re not quite finished.’

‘Oh, but I thought—’

Joe said authoritatively, ‘I’ll take it from here.’

Sean stood for a moment, eyeing Joe.

Joe said, ‘Please, Sean. There’s a … a family matter that needs resolving privately. Can you wait in the car?’

Sean nodded. ‘All right, Joe. Just come fetch me when you’re done. ’

Joe was about to close the door, when Sean said, ‘Oh – does she know where the real Robyn Parker is?’

Bonnie heard that, as did everyone else in the room.

‘We’ll get on to that, I’m sure.’

Bonnie caught Sean looking her way. ‘Are you okay to answer Joe’s questions without a chaperone?’

Bonnie was about to say that she was fine, and didn’t need a chaperone; that she was among friends.

But she wasn’t among friends. They were the friends she’d made masquerading as Robyn, albeit unintentionally.

But that didn’t excuse what she’d done in her past – hooking up with a criminal and accompanying him to the boathouse.

Did it make her an accessory? She hadn’t committed a crime herself, but wondered if she was guilty of something by association.

She tried to keep her emotions in check when she realised that when her friends all walked out of this room, they’d probably walk out of her life, and she’d never see them again.

Bonnie nodded. She wanted to get it all over with. ‘I’m fine, Sean.’ She wasn’t, but she imagined nobody in the room cared one bit.