Page 33 of The Boathouse by the Loch (The Scottish Highlands #4)

By the time Faye had put the phone down and rushed to the door, picking up her coat and car keys along the way, Jake was right behind her with a big grin on his face, convinced she was going to change her mind and let them go too.

Glancing behind him, Patrick was hot on his heels, similarly smiling from ear to ear with, Jake imagined, the same thought running through his mind.

Faye opened the front door, stepped outside, and stopped abruptly, forcing Jake to a halt at the door and sending Patrick careering into Jake’s back.

‘Sorry,’ said Patrick. He glanced at Faye. ‘Have we forgotten something?’

Faye turned around and stared at her father. ‘You’re not coming.’

Jake turned to look at Patrick. The expression on his face spoke volumes; the word disappointment didn’t begin to describe the pain etched on the old man’s face at the realisation that he wasn’t invited on this trip.

Jake turned back to Faye. He wanted to object. He wanted Patrick to come too, but he knew it wasn’t his call, his decision. Jake accepted that fact and took a step forward.

Faye didn’t move. Instead, she focused her attention on Jake.

‘What?’ said Jake in surprise. ‘I can’t come either?’

She shook her head. ‘Didn’t you hear me on the phone? I told Natty it’s just me coming to collect her.’

‘But I thought—’

‘You thought what? There’d be some, like, big family reunion or something?’

‘Now look …’ Jake began.

‘I SAID NO!’ She whirled on her heel and darted down the pathway to her car.

Jake was too taken aback by the ferocity of her retort to argue with her or even chase her to the car to ask her to reconsider. Instead, he just stood there and said nothing.

And, standing in that open doorway, watching the woman he loved leaving him on such a bitter, unresolved note, left him with something else – a terrible sense of déjà vu.

He hadn’t gone after her either, after Eleanor when she’d said she was going out on Christmas Day.

He’d just stood there. A voice in his head had said, go after her , but like an idiot, he hadn’t, believing mistakenly that there was always a second chance.

Suddenly, Jake was running down the pathway towards her car, waving frantically and shouting, ‘Faye! No! Wait!’ as the car engine revved up.

She drove off just as he reached the kerb.

‘NO!’ He stopped and watched the car disappear into the distance. ‘No!’ he said, ‘not again.’

Jake felt a hand on his shoulder.

‘Let her go.’ Patrick was standing beside him. ‘She needs to see her daughter alone, just the two of them, the way it used to be – at least for now.’

‘You don’t understand,’ said Jake, feeling immensely agitated.

‘I’ve done it again. I let somebody else go like this and she never came back.

The person I knew, the person I loved, never came back.

’ He grasped Patrick’s shoulders. ‘Don’t you see?

If I’d just run after her, if I’d just opened my damn mouth and said something, then maybe …

maybe …’ Jake’s shoulders began to heave.

Patrick pulled him close in a bear hug. Jake began to cry, great big heaving sobs into the shoulder of a man he barely knew.

‘It’s alright, son,’ he said soothingly. ‘It’s going to be alright.’ Patrick patted him on the back.

‘There’s nothing to see here!’ Patrick shouted suddenly. Neighbouring porch doors shut with a rackety clap. ‘Jake, why don’t we go back inside?’ Patrick gave him one last affectionate pat on the back and released him.

Jake wiped his nose on his sleeve.

‘She’ll be back. You’ll see,’ Patrick said reassuringly. ‘Faye and Natty will be back. She just needs a bit of time, that’s all.’ He put an arm around Jake’s shoulder and guided him towards the house.

At the front door, Jake stopped. ‘She doesn’t want me, Patrick, does she?’

‘Let’s go inside, eh?’

‘You didn’t answer my question.’ Jake stared into his hazel eyes. They were the same colour as the eyes he had looked into nearly every single day for the last few months, since he’d first met Faye. She had her father’s eyes.

‘Who knows what is going through my daughter’s mind at this moment?

She’s just found out that Natty is safe and well after hours of going through fear and anxiety like you couldn’t imagine.

Then she finds out that the man she has been trying her utmost to keep at arm’s length is in love with her.

’ Patrick peered at Jake. ‘I think that’s a lot to take on board all in one day – don’t you? ’

They both turned at the sound of the house phone.

‘Maybe that’s her,’ said Patrick, skipping up the front steps into the house.

Jake hovered on the doorstep and left Patrick to take the call.

He stared up at the night sky, a sky that in the city never got completely dark.

Not like in the Highlands of Scotland, where no lights could be seen for miles and where the night sky was so black, you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face.

Where people didn’t go out at three in the morning and buy a cappuccino or shop at a twenty-four-hour convenience store, but did what they should be doing at night – sleeping.

Jake stood outside, listening to the sounds of cars and people and the neighbourhood, and had a longing like he’d never felt before; a longing to return home.

Perhaps he wouldn’t feel this way if he hadn’t returned briefly to Scotland.

Maybe that was his mistake. But he had a feeling that Mr Gillespie was right about the place; it was in his soul, pulling him back like a piece of taut elastic waiting to be released. Now, that pull felt stronger than ever.

And that pull was raising serious doubts about the choices he had made in his life these past few months.

Maybe he had got it wrong. Maybe this wasn’t meant to be his new life, his new beginning.

Maybe it was just a phase, a stage, a transient place; somewhere he was just passing through on his way to coming to terms with what had happened, on his way towards – he knew now – something better, something right for him.

He thought of Faye and Natty; maybe, however much it hurt, he had to come to terms with the fact that he was only passing through their lives too.

But I don’t want it to be that way, thought Jake. He realised it didn’t matter what he wanted. The ball was firmly in Faye’s court. After what had happened with Natty, he seriously doubted whether things between him and Faye would ever be the same again.

A little voice in his head said, perhaps it’s for the best.

He’d thought he had it figured out – living in London, getting a new job, teaching – but at the back of his mind, he realised it had always been there, festering; the possibility that this might not be the rest of his life.

That was why, he now realised, he had been so careful not to get emotionally involved with anyone else, not to risk getting hurt again, because when the time came to leave, as he believed it had, he knew he most probably would not be able to physically uproot those attachments and take them with him.

However much it hurt Jake, maybe the fact that Faye didn’t want him was for the best; it meant he was free to start over again, properly this time, not deceiving himself any more about what had happened to his wife, able to move on now to a permanent place – home.

‘Jake! It’s Faye.’

Jake turned around and took a tentative step into the house. He looked at the phone in Patrick’s hand. ‘She wants to speak to me?’

He nodded. Jake wasn’t sure he wanted to speak to her and get another earful. But the look on Patrick’s face – he was smiling, and winking at Jake – made him wonder … she wasn’t phoning to apologise to him, surely?

‘Faye?’

‘Don’t say anything, just listen … ’

Jake listened. His mouth dropped open. ‘I’m sorry, did I hear you correctly?

’ He stared at Patrick, who was bouncing from one foot to the other, clearly dying to know what exactly was going on.

‘What do I think?’ Jake didn’t know what to think.

He couldn’t have been more surprised. ‘I … I … of course I want to come … Yes, Marcus will be okay. He’ll just have to wait until I get back to check into the clinic. ’

Jake slowly put the phone down.

Patrick said, ‘Well – what did she say? Is she coming back to collect you and take you to the bus station to collect Natty?’

Jake slowly shook his head from side to side. ‘No.’

‘So, what’s going on?’

‘She wants to take Natty to Scotland for a holiday, and she wants me to come too. She’s going to tell Natty the plan.’

Patrick grinned, and slapped Jake affectionately on the back. ‘Well, there you go. All’s well that ends well.’

‘But will it?’

‘Will it what?’

‘End well?’

‘You mean you and Faye getting together?’

Jake meant more than that. Could he convince Faye to start a new life with him in Scotland?

She’d nearly finished her headship qualification.

She could be a headteacher in Scotland, couldn’t she?

He could get a teaching job too. He’d have to show her all the great things Scotland had to offer, make sure it was a holiday to remember.

Jake frowned when he had a sudden thought. Did she have an ulterior motive? Was this their final hurrah, letting Natty see him, taking her on a trip to Scotland together, before bowing out of his life completely? She wouldn’t do that – would she ?

Jake stared at Patrick.

Patrick shrugged. ‘Do not ask me what is going through my daughter’s mind. The only thing you can do is go to Scotland, make sure they have a bloody good time, get back in her good books, and lastly …’

‘And lastly?’ Jake asked, hanging on his every world.

‘Don’t screw it up.’