Page 14 of The Biker’s Second Chance (Chrome Creed MC #2)

WHAT COULD'VE BEEN

SPIKE

O nce I let Leo know about the phone call Jayne received, it felt like everything picked up a notch.

Now we are moving full steam ahead. If only I knew what that meant.

First things first, I need to make sure Jayne's safe, and that means checking her place.

At first, she was hesitant about taking me to her apartment. Now that I'm here, I know why.

"Jesus Christ, this place is a shithole," Tella grumbles from the side of me on his bike. Lash grunts but doesn't say anything positive in return.

I turn to look over my shoulder where Jayne is sitting on the back of my bike. She gives me a tight smile and shrugs one of her shoulders. She can't deny it either.

"This is the place?" I ask.

"Yeah, this is home."

I offer my hand so she can get down, and the three of us turn off our bikes and follow her to her nearly dilapidated building.

My eyes scan from side to side, checking the corners just to make sure no one is hiding out. I don't see anyone, but there are clear signs that people have made this area a place to get high or drink. Definitely not an apartment complex I'd ever see Jayne staying in.

"It's on the third floor. It's a walk-up. Don't be surprised if you see anyone sitting in the stairwell," Jayne warns us. Both Tella and Lash take up position behind Jayne while I stay in front of her. Just in case someone jumps out, I want to make sure Jayne is properly protected.

Thankfully, there's no one in the stairwell as we make it up to the top floor of the building. Jayne's apartment is all the way at the end of the hallway.

The light flickers on and off, and there's a strong smell of urine and dirt.

"Is that the apartment?" Lash asks, pointing to the door on the side.

"Yeah, that's where the girls come and go." Jayne nods her head and gulps hard. "Are you sure we can't go to the laundromat just to check if she's still there?" She looks up at me hopefully.

"No, Xavier already let us know that he had her back.

If we show up there, it will most likely be a trap.

" This time, telling her this, I feel bad about it.

Before, I wasn't really thinking about this Tessa girl, but after hearing what Xavier is planning on doing to her, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I pray she's able to get away, but right now there's nothing we can do about it.

Jayne frowns but nods her head. She continues walking toward her door.

"Hold on, give me the key." I put my hand out and take the key from her. The building doesn't have anything in the form of security besides the simple deadbolts on the doors. It would be way too easy for someone to go inside and be waiting for her to come home.

Slowly, I open the door with Lash right behind me. Tella stays with Jayne to keep her safe.

My eyes nearly bug out of my head when I get a good look at the inside of her apartment.

There is a small loveseat, a coffee table, and a small big-back TV on the table. There are books stacked in the corner, but that's all in the main room. It's very clear just from this first step inside that Jayne isn't living an extravagant life. She's poor. Like really poor.

I don't comment on it. Instead, I simply walk in, checking the corners. I look into the kitchen and notice the lonely plate and pan in her sink. One spoon. One cup.

It all feels very lonely.

This isn't the way she should be living. Jayne is the kind of woman who deserves the world. She should be in a fucking mansion with an abundance of comfortable furniture.

"My room is back there," Jayne says from the doorway.

Lash and I make our way in that direction. I'm happy to see that her bedroom isn't as bare as the rest of the apartment. She's got a full-sized bed and two closets full of clothes. There's a small dresser. On top of it are more books and some newspaper clippings.

I move closer to see what she was reading, only to see the help wanted section folded open. Several ads circled. All of them part-time work. Seems like she was looking for a second job.

That's what it would take for her to survive. She needs to work two jobs. The longer I'm in her space, the more of a jerk I feel like.

"Is it okay?" Jayne calls out.

"Yeah, come on," I respond, letting both her and Tella know it's safe for them to come inside. There's no one hiding out in here. Not like they'd have anywhere to hide anyway.

"I'll check out front, just to make sure we didn't miss anything. Those bastards could've shown up and bugged the place," Lash lets me know before he walks out of the room to stay up front with Tella.

I know checking for bugs is only part of the reason he's leaving. He wants to give Jayne and me some space.

"Sorry about all the mess," Jayne mutters as she walks in and starts picking up some of her clothes draped on the bed.

"You've got no choice but for it to be a mess. It's not the biggest space I've ever seen."

"Yeah, it's small, but it'll do." She shrugs and puts the clothes in her hand away in the drawer.

"Are you sure? I mean, I didn't really expect you to be living in a place like this." I look around the place one more time before my eyes settle on hers.

"Yeah, me neither. I thought by now we'd have our little farmhouse, with the porch you were constantly trying to fix." She laughs, and even though the memory does bring some pain, it's not as much.

"You and that farmhouse. I swear, you're obsessed. Do I look like I'd do good on a farm?"

"Yes... Yes you do."

I rub the back of my neck and move to the side so she can grab another item of clothing to put away. "It was a nice dream, but things change."

"Yeah, I guess. It was nice to dream about though."

Suddenly, I find myself curious about what her current dreams are. "So what about now? What do you want for yourself?"

"Space." She groans and spreads her arms out, gesturing to her room. "I don't need a farmhouse. Maybe just a small two-bedroom, big living room, a yard. Some place I can go outside and not worry about who is shooting up on the corner."

"You can still have that one day, you know."

"I know. I'm working toward it. It'll just take some time. I can be patient."

The determination in her voice warms me. "You were always the patient one. The best of the two of us."

"You're not wrong." She laughs, and I actually join her.

We stand there, at the tail end of the laughter, until the silence starts to feel a bit oppressive.

"What about from the bathroom? Do you need anything from there?" I walk out before she has a chance to say anything.

I walk into the bathroom. It's mostly bare.

Just the necessities. I look under her sink and see the tampons and other feminine products under there.

I don't know how long she's going to be at the clubhouse with me, but I want to make sure she has everything she needs.

I grab the feminine products, but just as I'm about to stand up, I look in the garbage and see a few pieces of bloody gauze.

It looks old, but I didn't see any cuts on her.

Going back into the room with the tampons in my hand, Jayne gets embarrassed and quickly grabs the items from me.

"I would've gotten it."

My voice is calm, steady. "I was in there. I'm here to help you, remember."

She just nods but doesn't look back up at me. I need to know where the blood came from.

"There's bloody gauze in the garbage can. Is it yours?"

Her eyes pop up to mine, and for a brief second it looks like she's confused until recognition dawns on her features.

"No, it's one of the girls I was helping. Her feet were all cut up. Some sort of punishment that no one would be able to see."

I cringe thinking about it. "That's fucking horrible."

"Tell me about it. When they told me some of the shit that bastard would do to them, I nearly threw up.

" She shakes her head and sits on the edge of her bed.

"That's why I need to help them, Spike. This isn't just some complex or whatever.

Those women need someone on their side. They don't deserve what's happening to them, no matter how they wound up here.

What if it was me? I'd want someone to help me. It's the right thing to do."

I sit next to her, getting a deeper insight into her mindset. "Just because it's right doesn't mean it's going to be easy."

"As it shouldn't be. Nothing with me is ever easy.

You should know that by now. Still, even if it's the hardest thing I'll ever do, I have to at least try.

How would I be able to live with myself knowing that I'm here safe when those women are right next to me fighting for their lives?

I'll never be able to look myself in the mirror.

This is as much for me as it is for them.

If I can help, it's my duty to do just that. "

I've heard most of this before, just with different subjects.

This is the same thing she used to tell me when she'd try to get me to help out some other nameless victim.

It's not until this very moment that I realize just how selfish I'd been when Jayne and I were together.

If I'd only listened to her, heard her out, pushed to do more than just what was good for the club, maybe Jayne would still be with me. We'd still be together.

I don't want to admit that I was wrong, but it's become more and more clear that neither was she.

One way or another, I'm going to have to figure out a way to make amends for my immature, selfish ways.