Page 9

NINE

Carrying a greasy bag with some bacon, egg, and cheese bagels, hash browns, and a tray of piping hot coffees in my hands, I make my way back up to Rowan's dorm. I didn't want to wake her, but I hope the note is at least enough if she wakes up before I get back. Something tells me she's a bit of an early bird.

Last night was spectacular. It's everything I wanted and more, and I can't wait for countless other nights just like that with Rowan on my arm. I can hardly recall a time when I was happier than I am right now.

I reach for the doorknob to her room and slowly turn it. I’m careful because I don't want to be loud and wake her. After a brief wiggle, the knob doesn't budge, and I try again, realizing it's locked.

“Shoot,” I say, regrettably having to knock on the door to let her know I'm back. At first, I just assumed she must be changing and didn't want someone to walk in while she was naked. But when she doesn't answer right away, I wonder if something else is going on.

I wait for a couple of minutes, thinking she might have run to the communal bathroom in the building and she'll leave any moment to see me standing in front of her door with breakfast and coffee. But after five minutes, that doesn't happen.

I knock again and wait for an answer, but I don't get one. Then I call her and hear her phone ringing on the other briefly before it's promptly silenced.

“Rowan?” I say it through the door, knowing she's behind it and can hear me. “What's going on? Can you let me in?”

There's no answer, and I start to panic. I don't know what happened between last night and this morning that she would be refusing to talk to me. I thought she and I had come to terms with our relationship, and we were going to see what could become of us. What did I miss that made me so wrong?

“Can you let me in so we can talk?” Still, I don't get any answer. Some other students are wandering around, eyeing me suspiciously as I continue to knock on the door. “Please, Rowan.”

After about ten minutes of standing there with the coffee getting cold, I decide to leave. I set breakfast down outside of the door, hoping she might eventually peek her head out and grab it. “Listen, I don't know what I did, but I want to apologize if I did something to hurt you. I just don't understand what's going on. I'm leaving, but please just call me.”

I head back downstairs, my head swimming with confusion. Something isn't right. Last night was perfect for both of us, and it doesn't make sense why she would shut me out like this.

High-pitched, familiar laughter catches my attention in the lobby, and I see Jessica sitting on a couch with her legs crossed, surrounded by a couple of her friends. She stops laughing when she sees me, and a mischievous look flashes across her face.

“Hi, Sawyer!” she says in a singsong voice, beckoning me toward her. I plan on ignoring her and just leaving initially. “Did your little girlfriend like the pictures I sent of you working your way through the cheer squad?”

I freeze by the door and turn around, glaring at her as an icy smile rests on her face. Of course this would have something to do with her. Why would I have ever thought it was something else?

“What did you do?” I ask, my voice low and serious.

“Oh, I was just protecting another girl,” Jessica innocently says, as if she was doing Rowen a service. “I thought she should know that you're just a player, and all you ever wanted was to use her like you used the rest of the squad.”

“Back the fuck off, Jessica,” I say in a voice more threatening than I thought it would be. “You don't know a goddamn thing about me or Rowan or our relationship.”

She stares at me with shock on her face for a moment, then she laughs and looks at her friends for support. “I don't care. The two of you don't belong together, and that's all. You should be thanking me. Soon enough, the entire school would see you with the geek, and your reputation would plummet.”

“My reputation? What the fuck is wrong with you?” I ask, exasperated and exhausted with this vapid bullshit. “Look, just because you have to abide by these dumb societal standards doesn't mean everybody else does. I don't like you because you're a shallow bitch. You're nothing but a pretty face. In thirty years, that's all going to be gone, and you're going to be left as a hollow shell of a person constantly clinging to your youth. If I were you, I'd get a personality before it's too late.”

Her face is blank as she tries to process what I said, not believing someone would talk to her like that. She's gone her entire life skating by on her looks, and that's all she has. I walk away before she can say anything else, not needing to hear any more stupid excuses from her.

I skip classes today and go back home, fuming at the idea of someone like Jessica meddling in a potentially incredible relationship. I have strong feelings for Rowan, stronger than anything I've ever felt. I see a future with her and want to build on that if I can. I just don't know how to repair this.

“What's gotten into you?” Merrit asks as she sees me pacing back and forth in the living room, running my fingers through my hair.

I explain the entire situation without sparing any details, even letting her know that last night I took Rowan's virginity. Merrit isn't the kind of person who will spread this information to everybody at school. I know that what I tell her will be strictly confidential, and she won't even tell Talon about it.

“But I don't understand why Rowan lets Jessica get to her,” I say when I'm finished, shaking my head in confusion. “Rowan is the complete package. She's stunningly beautiful, and she's smart, witty. Jessica has nothing on her, and she has to know that, right?”

“If what Jessica said is true and she sent evidence of you hooking up with a bunch of different people, that might not instill a lot of confidence in her,” Merrit says, flashing me a reassuring smile as she offers advice. “She might think you were just using her for a good time. You have to show her that you're serious about her and that she's different from the other girls you hooked up with. Plus, if last night really was her first time, she was probably feeling very vulnerable, and you not being there when she woke up didn't help anything.”

“What am I supposed to do, then? She won't even talk to me.” I sigh, leaning back on the couch and racking my brain for anything I can do.

“Wait, I think I have an idea,” Merrit says, staring at me as if a light bulb just went off in her head.

I don't know what she has to say, but I’ll do anything to make it up to Rowan. But by the look on her face, I'm starting to get a little worried. I just hope whatever it is works.