Page 4

FOUR

As predicted, we win the football game on Friday, and chaos erupts all around us. The only reason I'm here is because the band is all required to attend every game and perform during halftime. Of course, that is the unofficial intermission for everybody watching the game. The stands are practically empty as everyone goes to the bathroom and the concession stand to refill their popcorn and get another hot dog or pretzel.

The only people who really enjoy the band performance are other band geeks like myself. Unsurprisingly, most of us aren't that interested in football. We usually sit on the sidelines and eat snacks, joking with one another while we wait for our signal to play. Today, though, I find myself more interested in the game than I would generally be.

I hate to admit it, but I'm not actually interested in the game. I watch Sawyer as he performs, holding back applause and cheers when he does well. I surprise even myself with how nervous I am toward the end of the game. Every time he takes a hit like he did during the practice yesterday, my heart skips a few beats. I don't understand how he does things like this.

Because we win the game, the band has to return to the field and perform our university's victory song. All the cheerleaders run around, wrapping their arms around the necks of the football players, climbing on their backs and straddling them. I can only imagine the rewards they will get after today.

Even as I'm in the middle of performing, my fingers dancing along the keys of my flute, my eyes search for Sawyer. It stings when I find him in the crowd with one of the cheerleaders wrapping her arms around his neck. I have to look away to keep my composure, hating the effect Sawyer has on me.

We get through the song, and I’m eager to leave the field. I'm probably the first person to leave. Usually, we linger behind for a little while, chatting and waiting for our connection in the concession stand to give us some of the leftover pretzels to take back to the music room. I just don't feel up to that today.

I practically run back to my dorm and close the door behind me, changing out of my band uniform promptly. While everyone else is going to be out partying, getting shit-faced drunk and celebrating the win, I would rather stay in bed watching Netflix.

I'm midway through an episode of Veep when Corinne unlocks the door and walks in. She drops her clarinet case on the floor nonchalantly as she starts hastily changing out of her band uniform.

“Turn off the boring show and get dressed. We're going to a party,” Corinne says, looking over at me with an eager smile. I can tell she's excited. The only parties the two of us get invited to are our university-sanctioned gatherings completely free of alcohol and any other illicit substances. In Corinne's eyes, that means they're not fun.

“Whose party?” I ask, curious and sitting up, pausing the show.

“No idea. Apparently, someone came up to Mia and invited all of us to a party off campus. Supposedly, this place throws the best parties,” she says with an excited squeal. “Maybe we can finally get drunk. Ooo! Maybe someone will have pot, and we can try it. Just do me a favor and don't tell anybody we've never smoked before. We’ll look lame.”

“Honestly, I'm tired. I think I'll just stay in tonight,” I say, falling back on the bed and holding my laptop on my chest to stare at the screen. If this party is to celebrate the football game, I have a sinking suspicion there will be a lot of football players there. Even if Sawyer isn't at this party, I don't want to run into him. I don't want to run into any other jocks, for that matter.

“No!” Corinne shouts louder than she definitely should be. She walks across the room and stands next to my bed, holding her hands in front of her face in prayer formation. “Please come with me. If you're not having fun, we can leave in an hour. Just give me an hour there. You know how long I've been waiting for something like this.”

I take a deep breath and stare at her, seeing the pathetic yet earnest look in her eyes. “One hour, then I'm leaving with or without you.” I close my laptop screen and slide out of bed, then dig through my closet for something remotely appropriate for a party.

Corinne ends up lending me a black dress with small pink roses covering it. I slip into it, seeing that it's shorter than I would like, but the fabric is at least loose enough that my body isn't on full display for the world. Despite her protests, I grab an olive-green cardigan from my dresser and throw it on.

We called an Uber to take us to the address Mia texted her, and during the short ride, Corinne excitedly rambles about all the possibilities for her tonight. I tune her out a bit as I stare out the window and brace myself for potentially running into Sawyer.

Other students stand on the lawn with red Solo cups in hand, laughing with each other and shouting over the loud bass of the music. The front door is wide open, so we don't bother knocking. The living room is packed like a can of sardines, and Corinne takes my hand to guide me through, faking confidence even though I know she's nervous.

We find a few other people from the band in the crowd and join them, all of us nervously looking around like fish out of water. This is far beyond our comfort zones, and the only way to survive is by sticking together.

“Whose place is this anyway?” Corinne asks Mia and Jamie as they huddle in a corner of the room.

“I think Talon and his girlfriend live here with another guy from the football team,” Mia says, bobbing her head to the music.

Oh no. Not only do I have to worry about running in the Sawyer, I'm in his house now. He already told me that Talon is his roommate, so I should expect to see him walk down the stairs any moment.

I almost want to grab Corinne and tell her we're leaving ahead of schedule, but instead, I find myself scanning the crowd for any sign of him. I try to tell myself it's just to be on the offensive, but deep down, I know the truth. I want to see him. I want to see him with a beer in his hand, laughing casually as he jokes with his friends, the dimples on his cheek visible again.

What I don't want to see is him leaning against a wall with one of the cheerleaders tracing her fingers over his chest and practically foaming at the mouth over him. Of course, what I don't want is exactly what I see. Sawyer seems to be incredibly into it too.

It stings a lot more than I would have ever imagined. I don't really like him. I can't. Sawyer is a jock, the pride of the football team. This is his life. He doesn't spend late nights in the library like I do. He attends parties like this, hooking up with girls like Jessica Chamberlain.

After yesterday, a small part of me thought he might be interested, but in reality, he was probably just flirting with me so I would be more inclined to do all the work on our project. He couldn't possibly have wanted anything to do with me romantically.

I look away from him, staring down at my hands, and I’m surprised that my skin hasn't turned green from the jealousy I apparently feel. I've always been happy with who I am. Sure, I was bullied in high school for being a bit of a geek, but I have come to terms with it, and I like myself. But for the first time, I wish I could be like Jessica. She's so confident and carefree, and she can have any man she wants in a heartbeat.

I look back at them again, seeing him put a hand on Jessica's shoulder and push some of her hair aside. God, what am I thinking, wishing that was me? What is happening?

Sawyer laughs and looks up, his eyes looking around the room momentarily. They move right past me, and I don't think anything of it. I'm used to that kind of behavior from people like him. However, he looks back, the smile on his lips falling as he pulls his hands away from Jessica. I can see the disappointment on her face as he walks away from her and starts making his way through the crowd toward me.

I almost want to run for the door and pretend I didn't see him, but I stand my ground. Maybe he's here to tell me to get lost, anyway. Right now, I would be more than happy to.

“Aren't you just about the last person I expected to see here?” Sawyer asks when he finally approaches. Corinne, Mia, and Jamie are all surprised to see him talking to me. They busy themselves with small talk, pretending anything they say matters as they eavesdrop.

“We got an invite, and I wanted to see what all the hype was about,” I say with a shrug. “If I'd have known you lived here, I would have at least brought my textbook so we could get some work done.”

“All work and no play.” Sawyer sighs, rolling his eyes at me. His eyes fall from mine to the dress Corinne made me wear, and his lips part as if shocked to see me in something so different from the sweaters and jeans I usually wear. “You dressed up for the occasion, I see.”

My face heats, and I try my best to ignore it so I don't get even more red. I hold my cardigan a little tighter to shroud myself from his gaze. “I wouldn't call this dressing up.”

“I would,” Sawyer says, looking back at me with a pleased glint in his blue eyes. “You look amazing.”

He smiles wide, and I just barely see the tip of his tongue peeking out to lick his bottom lip. It sends a rush of excitement through me, and I have to look away from him. My heart beats faster, and the excitement grows between my legs too. What the hell is happening to me?

I don't register Jessica moving across the room until she's standing beside Sawyer, grabbing his arm and clinging to it while holding a bright red fruity drink in the other hand.

“I can't believe you would leave me like that.” She rests her head against his arm, her silky brown hair falling in front of her face. “I'm surprised to see you lot out here. You're not usually invited to things like this.”

Sawyer rolls his eyes and pulls his arm away from her, looking back at me with apologetic eyes. “I invited them, Jessica.”

She looks at him with shock and looks back at the four of us with a disgruntled expression. Her hands grip her plastic cup tighter as she steps forward, plastering a fake smile on her face.

“I had no idea!” She turns her attention to me, and the smile falls, quickly replaced by a devilish grin as she looks down at her drink and leans in for a hug, tilting it to spill it all over the front of my dress. “Oh no! I'm so clumsy. The drink must have gone straight to my head.”

Jessica backs away with a pleased look as I hold my hands up and look down at the fruity drink soaking through the dress, covering my legs. It was 100 percent intentional, just something to get her revenge on me for stealing Sawyer's attention for a moment. She's just another mean girl who wants to make my life miserable.

“Let me help you,” Sawyer says, immediately slipping off his plain white T-shirt and dabbing the front of my dress.

Suddenly, the entire room shrinks in, and the only thing to look at is Sawyer's chest. He has incredibly toned washboard abs that glisten with a light sheen of sweat standing in this packed room. My mind wanders to places it never has as I think about pushing him down on a bed and licking the peaks and valleys of his stomach.

Those thoughts don't get any better as his hands dab the dress, soaking up the droplets of liquid. After a moment, he stops and stands inches away from me, looking down with his eyes focused entirely on me. I forget all about Jessica, and Sawyer clearly does, too.

“How about I take you upstairs and get you something of Merrit’s to change into?” Sawyer asks, reaching down to grab my hand and guide me away. My skin shivers and awakens as he touches me. I want nothing more than to follow him up there and see where this takes us, but I pull away from him.

Even though I need a change of clothes, under these circumstances, that could be all he plans up there. But I can't help but wonder what he really wants. What are his real intentions?

“I wouldn't want to without running it by Merrit first,” I say, shaking my head and standing my ground. “She might not like someone borrowing her clothes without asking first.”

“Okay, I'll go ask her,” Sawyer says, holding his finger up to signal for me to wait right there. He looks around and finds her in the room, carefully maneuvering his way through the crowd.

Jessica makes her presence known as soon as Sawyer is gone, standing directly in front of me and crossing her arms defiantly. She's several inches shorter than me, so I have to look down, but she still seems imposing.

“Stay the hell away from Sawyer, geek,” Jessica says, her eyes narrowing as she tries to intimidate me. “What do you think's going to happen with him anyway? Men like him aren't made for girls like you. Back off if you know what's good for you.”

She stands her ground, and I don't know what to say. Thankfully, I don't have to answer because Sawyer comes back and looks between the two of us, focusing more on me than her once again.

“She said it's fine,” he says, holding a hand out for me to grab. Jessica raises an eyebrow at me as if silently asking me what choice I'm going to make. I can do what she says and walk away, or I can go with Sawyer, and she’ll make my life a living hell.

I don't like to be threatened. I take Sawyer's hand and follow him upstairs, not looking back at her once. I can imagine, though, her eyes are staring daggers at both of us, and she’ll do everything in her power to stay true to her word.

This might be a mistake, but it's undoubtedly what I want.