Page 8

EIGHT

I wait all day to hear from Sawyer again, but he doesn't reach out. I feel like a teenager in some '90s movie sitting by the phone, waiting for it to ring. This feels like torment.

Even though I haven't heard from him, I'm strangely content. I'm confident he's going to reach out. Especially considering we have our world history class together and still need to work on our project at some point.

Toward the end of the day, when I finish my last class and head to the football field for marching band rehearsal, I'm excited, thinking I’ll see the football players practicing on the field, too. Sawyer and the rest of the team are in the center of the field doing warm-ups, and Sawyer subtly waves at me when he sees me.

The entire cheerleading squad sits on the bleachers, shrieking laughter at each other, and all of us in our band uniforms are immediately self-conscious. We've all had our fair share of mean people making fun of us for being in the band, and the uniform just makes it that much more apparent.

Nevertheless, we straighten our spines and walk past the mean girls giggling at us. I look forward and of course see Jessica sitting in the center, her eyes glued to me as I gripped my flute tight in my hands.

“She came to Le Fleur wearing sweatpants, and I had to kick her out,” Jessica says louder than she needs to to ensure I hear. “I can't believe Sawyer would stoop as low as someone like her.”

The others around her all laugh hysterically like Jessica is performing her own stand-up show. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't hurt. Sawyer is popular, charming, and ridiculously good looking. He could do much better than me, and he likely has. The thought of him choosing me over someone like Jessica is preposterous in most cases.

People like Jessica are the reason I don't think Sawyer and I work. With people like him, catty bitches come with the territory. I've dealt with them for far too long in my life, and it's not something I want to be involved with much more.

I can see my face turning red, and I bite the insides of my cheek to try to keep any emotion from showing. The cheerleaders continue laughing behind us as we get into our formation, and I can't focus on practice. Sawyer spots me, and I watch him wrinkle his eyebrows, curious as to why I'm turning red.

“Are you all right?” Corinne asks beside me, grabbing my arm and squeezing it.

“I just got really nauseous,” I lie, holding my stomach and taking a deep breath. “I'm sorry, I can't be here right now. I'll have a makeup day later this week.”

Before she can say anything else, I pick up my case and hastily walk away. The only thing on my mind is Sawyer and how the two of us just don't work. As I walk back, I see the cheerleaders in their skimpy uniforms, their breasts practically hanging out and their legs on full display. Sawyer should be with a girl like that, not me.

Jessica can have him. I can't compete with someone like her anyway.

I get back to my dorm just in time to let out a long exhale and finally unleash the tears I feel. A few stream down my face as I think about talking to Sawyer and telling him again that this doesn't work, refusing to let him convince me otherwise.

A knock on the door catches my attention, and I take a deep breath to calm myself before answering. When I open it, Sawyer is standing there with a concerned look.

“Are you okay?” He walks in the room and closes the door before taking me in his arms.

I let him hold me, sinking into his warmth for a moment as I cling on to him, knowing this could be the last time. My body shudders as I take a deep breath to calm myself before speaking. I have to make sure he knows this is something I've been thinking about for a while, and I'm not just being ruled by emotion.

I back away from him, and he moves closer, but I hold a hand up to stop him. “Go back to practice. Go be with the other jocks and the cheerleaders where you belong.”

“Rowan, if I wanted to be with them, I would be with them,” Sawyer says, moving closer and holding my head in his hands, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “I'm here with you right now because I care about you. I know you think I want something else, but all I want is you.”

I can't help the tear that slips from my eyes when I hear that, and he swipes it away with his thumb, leaning down and kissing me. The kiss is uplifting, healing the part of me that felt like I wasn't good enough. I stand on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around his neck as I lean against the bed.

“I want you,” Sawyer whispers as he pulls his face away from me. “I want all of you.”

I nod my head and lower my hands from his neck to his chest, rubbing his hard muscles under his shirt. A moment later, I lift it over his head and toss it to the side, letting my hands trace his warm body. He lifts my shirt and drops it, cupping my breasts and his hands as he kisses me again.

He lifts me onto the bed, and I fall back, spreading my legs for him to kneel between them. I know what's about to happen and want it badly, but I'm reminded that I have no experience whatsoever. Sawyer's probably used to girls like Jessica, who lost their virginity on prom night like every normal girl. That's just not me.

“Wait,” I said, pushing him away and staring into his hungry eyes. “Before we do this, I just need to let you know that it's my first time. Just please be gentle.”

He leans down and kisses me again, pulling away after a moment and staring at me with a comforting smile. “Of course.”

His mouth falls to my neck as he slowly kisses me, his lips hot against my skin, sending shivers of excitement through my body. His tongue grazes against it, teasing me as he slowly works his way lower, kissing the soft skin between my breasts. I lean forward, and he unclasps my bra, tossing it aside. He takes my nipple in his mouth and twirls his tongue around it. I moan softly, feeling how he reacts through the vibrations of his moans against me.

His hands moved to my pants. He pulls them over my hips, and I kick them to the side, sitting in front of him in nothing but my panties. He rubs the outside, massaging my clit and sending small pulses of pleasure through me.

“I love how wet you get,” he says as he feels my juices seeping through the fabric. Sawyer stares at my half-naked body, licking his lips from the anticipation. I reach forward and press my hands against the front of his pants, feeling the hard bulge beneath them. It's the first time I've ever touched a penis, and I’m desperate to feel more of it.

He sits back while I lower the waist of his pants and pull his cock through the hole in his boxers. I wrap my hand around the shaft, feeling just how firm it is in my grasp. I slowly massage it, watching how it responds with fascination, rubbing my thumb over the tip to spread the small droplet of pre-cum around the head.

“Do you like it?” Sawyer asks with a quiet laugh. I nod and continue moving my hand as he rubs his fingers against my clit. “It's going to feel so good inside you.”

“I want it,” I say, biting my lip as I look up at him. He slides my panties down around my ankles and drops them on the floor.

“I'm going to give it to you.” His hands crawl up my body, caressing every inch of my bare flesh splayed out before him. He spreads my legs and stares at my pussy, seeing it for the first time. He moans just at the sight and gently traces a finger along my folds. “I've just got to get you good and ready for it first.”

Before I know what's happening, his mouth is between my legs, and he's licking my clit while staring at me, his blue eyes filled with desire. “Oh my God,” I cry out as my entire body electrifies. My breath quickens, and my hands instinctively reach for my breasts to caress my nipples while his tongue swirls around me.

Just as I feel I'm about to experience a dizzying orgasm, he pulls his mouth away and gently kisses the inside of my thighs until my body calms down. I stare down at him, desperate for him to finish me off, but he smirks as if he's enjoying keeping me right on the edge.

“Please, Sawyer,” I beg, needing to feel that explosive release.

“Not right now,” he says, taunting me as he gently laps his tongue against me. “I want you to come when my cock is stuffed inside you.”

I can't wait another second for it. My fingers lace through his blond hair as I pull him away from me, gesturing for him to climb back up my body so I can feel him inside me once. His cock grazes against my folds, sending a jolt of anticipation through me.

He presses himself against me and grinds his cock between my legs, letting it soak in my juices before readying himself to slide inside me. “Fuck,” he moans in my ear before he takes my earlobe between his lips and nibbles it.

“I'm ready,” I say, spreading my legs wider to give him complete access to my pussy.

He backs away and looks down at me, positioning his cock exactly where it needs to be and slowly pushing his way in. My body stiffens as the pressure fills me. Sawyer stares at me with his mouth hanging open, waiting for me to nod and give him the go-ahead to keep going. My body slowly adjusts to him, stretching to fit his entire length as he sheathes himself inside me.

“You're so fucking tight,” he groans, clearly trying to hold back from coming too early. “You feel even better than I thought you would.”

“So do you,” I say through a struggled breath, a slight moan escaping.

When my body relaxes, he moves his hips against me, pulling his cock out and slowly pushing it back in, letting me take every inch of him with each thrust. At first, it's a little bit uncomfortable, but as he keeps going, I get used to it, and the pleasure is more prominent. My nails dig into his back as he keeps thrusting, his cock hardening and throbbing with each movement.

He holds off often, letting his cock get just the edge of exploding before slowing and stopping long enough to settle down. When I reach the edge, my pussy tightening around him, he doesn't slow down, though. He sees how desperate I am for an orgasm, and he pumps his cock longer and harder inside me, letting me feel every throbbing inch.

“Yes, Sawyer!” I cry out as my entire body trembles from the earth-shattering orgasm that completely overtakes my body. I can't control the screams or moans that I make, and Sawyer does nothing to silence me. He stares at me with satisfaction in his eyes as his cock stiffens even more and twitches when he comes.

He buries his face in my neck as he continues pumping, squeezing every last drop of pleasure out of the orgasm as he can. When both of us are finished, he lies down beside me and turns my face to his, kissing me once again, searching my mouth with each sweep of his tongue.

“How do you feel?” Sawyer asks, brushing my hair out of my face before kissing my cheek.

“I feel good,” I say as I sink into the warmth of his chest and feel his arm drape around me. He holds me close and covers me with a blanket, nuzzling the back of my head before we drift off to sleep.

* * *

My standing 7:00 a.m. alarm goes off, and I jolt awake, immediately realizing half of my bed is cold. I start to panic, thinking Sawyer did use me after all and left in the night. But then I find a sticky note taped on top of my phone telling me he's run to the café to get us breakfast. I rip it off as I silence my alarm and snuggle back into the sheets.

I want to send him a text message to thank him, but before I unlock my phone, I see countless other text messages from an unknown number.

“What the hell?” I say as I unlock the phone and open them to investigate. I sit upright and hold my hand over my face when I see countless images of Sawyer with other women. Some of them are at school, some at his house, some even in the very dorm building that I live in. But there are countless women with their arms wrapped around him, kissing him and touching him. Of course, there is a picture of Jessica on the football field, his hands on her ass as he holds her close and kisses her too. Looks like Sawyer has worked his way through the cheerleading squad and has made his way to the band geeks. You are just one conquest of many, the message reads.

I feel like my heart is ripped right out of my chest and stomped on thousands of times. I believed he was someone different, and I was a fool.

I jump out of bed and run to the door, locking the knob and the deadbolt on the top, refusing to open it for anyone. Sawyer is due back any minute, and I can't see him right now, no matter how difficult that will be.