Page 10

TEN

“You know, maybe I can just drop the class?” I say to Corrinne as I sit across from her in our room and brainstorm ways to deal with this. It took her a good thrity minutes to come to terms with the fact that I slept with Sawyer Jackson, and after explaining everything, else we finally got to the nitty gritty. “I still have some time, and that's the only way I can see successfully avoiding him.”

“Okay, but your transcript is going to be shot after that. Plus, you know you shouldn't cower away from a guy like that,” she says, huffing at me and thinking deeply.

After twenty minutes, when neither of us comes up with a good solution, it's decided that I'm going to face the situation head-on. I'm going to be a strong woman and not back down. I'm going to stay in the class, and I'm going to continue working on the project alongside Sawyer, letting him know his actions don't actually affect me. It's a huge lie, but it's the only way I can imagine being around him without crying.

I head to the library the next day for our scheduled meetup to go over the project. The last time both of us were here, Sawyer's hands were between my legs, and I had one of the best orgasms of my life. It's a shame we won't be replaying that today.

Sawyer is already in the library waiting for me once again, and I walked to the table, setting my backpack down without any greeting. He doesn't say anything either.

A part of me expects him to be angry with me for shutting him out. I wouldn't even listen to his side of the story, which I know is not ideal in most situations. But I just couldn't do it. I couldn't listen to him rationalize how he's screwed around with every girl on the cheerleading squad. I couldn't listen to him talk about how he got tired of them and moved on to the first new girl he could.

I worry that what the text message said was true, and Sawyer was only looking for a good time. He got what he came for, and everything between us will disappear.

“We only have two weeks left to finish this. We really need to start nailing down exactly what it is we'll be talking about,” Sawyer says when I sit down, being more serious about the project than he's been this entire time.

We start going over our bullet list of ideas, and it's hard for me to stay focused on the schoolwork. A tiny part of me is offended that he is so casual right now. It's only reinforcing all of the fears I had before thinking he was just using me. After about a half an hour of talking about our visual aid like nothing happened between us a couple of days ago, I've had enough.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Two days ago, you were begging for me to hear you out, and here I am right now, and you don't have a goddamn thing to say?” My voice is loud, and I don't do anything to lower it. Sawyer looks at me as if in shock at me raising my voice in the library, but I don't care. I'm well beyond caring. “You're sweeping everything under the rug like none of that mattered to you.”

My voice cracks, and I feel my throat aching like I'm going to start sobbing. Sawyer stares at me and shakes his head, not even opening his mouth to say anything. Instead, he lifts his shirt, which is a very confusing thing for me to see right now. I shake my head and back away, not understanding right away, but then I see the raw red skin with a name etched into it. My name.

“You got my name tattooed?” I asked in a hushed voice, surprised by how much I like the idea of this. “You didn't have to do that.”

“I did. I needed to show you that you mean more to me than any other girl,” Sawyer says, lowering his shirt and reaching his hand across the table to grab mine. “All those other girls, they're in the past. You are the only person I would do this for.”

A tear streams down my cheek, and I wipe it on my shoulder while I smile at him. I have to believe what he's saying is true. This is a sign of commitment from him that I wasn't expecting, but it proves I'm wrong about him.

“When I got those text messages, I was so afraid,” I say, my voice cracking as I choke out the words. “I really thought you were just using me, and you were going to hurt me. I should have known better than to believe it, but I let the past dictate how I felt.”

“Rowan, I promise I'm never going to hurt you,” Sawyer says, lifting my hand to his lips and kissing my fingers. “I'm ready to put the past behind me, and I think you should do the same. Rowan, I love you. I'm ready to commit myself to only you.”

I smile and stare at him, biting my lower lip as excitement rushes through my body. I never thought someone like him would say those words to me, and it's invigorating in a way I never would have expected.

“I think I love you too, Sawyer,” I say before Sawyer leans across the table and holds my face close to his for a kiss.